Retired

jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
I have retired. Not from strip clubbing (that would be crazy) but from working. With my savings, investments, 401-K, and Social Security, I will have more disposable income in retirement than I did while working.

My monthly Social Security check will go directly into strippers' G-strings. For those of you who are still working and contributing to the Social Security Trust Fund, I want to say, "Thanks."

52 comments

Latest

motorhead
9 years ago
Just do not behave like J. Howard Marshall II and give it all to a drugged out stripper.
Dougster
9 years ago
Congratulations! Enjoy what you've earned!
just_the_nuts
9 years ago
Congratulations
crazyjoe
9 years ago
Congrats
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
I'm sure you know what this means. Now you finally have the time and money to invest in a dream stripper. Have fun, and post sex stories.
Clubber
9 years ago
jack,

Good luck and hope you stick with it. I couldn't deal with my first retirement. Always trying to find something to do. Back to work was better for me. Next time I hope to do better.

Maybe we should plan another Tootsie's trip.
eyeamlong
9 years ago
Congratulation.... I'm a retired, Freight Train Engineer, three years ago... So i know exactly what you are saying
GoVikings
9 years ago
congrats Jack.

I remember in the past you expressed that you worked really hard and cut out most of the fun when you were younger, so I know you've earned it

Enjoy!
shadowcat
9 years ago
Welcome to the club.
tobala
9 years ago
Congratulations! Now go have fun !
bvino
9 years ago
All successful retired people are an inspiration to me. Congratulations. I am one a half years out and counting the days. I too will have more disposable income when I retire and I can't wait.
JamesSD
9 years ago
Congrats!
MrBater2010
9 years ago
Be sure to get a few preggo so the Social Security Pyramid will keep growing. And Congrads...
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
You lucky dawg – congratulations – def follow thru on your “summer of jack”
jester214
9 years ago
Actually MotorHead he very specifically did not give it to a drugged out stripper. Some lawyers just got rich saying he did.
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
"Congratulations! Enjoy what you've earned!"

That's the ideology which keeps people speculating.

SJG
Clackport
9 years ago
Congrats!
HungryGiraffe
9 years ago
Congratulations Jack! Hope to do the same in 10-15 years.
shailynn
9 years ago
congrats - maybe next time I am in Detroit you can buy me a lapdance - well after what you said it's really like I am paying for it myself anyway since I'm still working right?!?!?! LOL
farmerart
9 years ago
Retirement can be a very tough gig, jack; particularly if your work was the enjoyable and fulfilling centre of your life before retirement. There are many hours in the day to kill without work. I hope you have many other interests besides SCs to fill those hours.

Best wishes.
pensionking
9 years ago
Want a pay raise? Do NOT start receiving Social Security just because you're eligible. Every year you delay starting social security your amount rises 8%! If you are 66 and wait until you are 70 to begin, your payment increases 32%! A $1,000 social security monthly benefit becomes $1,320.

Also, don't spend more than 3% of your savings in any given year.

Enjoy the SC pussy --- save some for the rest of us.
whodey
9 years ago
After a lifetime worth of work I hope your retirement is worth every minute you spent getting there.
Mate27
9 years ago
Preach!
Clubber
9 years ago
fa,

Pretty much what I told him. Why I went back to work. Perhaps I'll try again at 70.
minnow
9 years ago
j-slash- Congrats, and welcome to the club.
p-king- You crack me up, as in who do you think you are telling people when to collect SS when you don't know exactly when they (or you for that matter) will die. If you collect at 62, you'll live a long time, if you start collecting at 70, you'll croak shortly after your 1st check.
shadowcat
9 years ago
minnow - I had the same thought. I started drawing SS benefits before I retired.
Mate27
9 years ago
People who take care of themselves will likely live longer than any generation in history, so on that premise it is better to wait to draw until age 66 or even 70. However only see how you are feeling when those ages come around, or when you "cross that bridge". The only time in my mind you should take benefits early is if you know your health will decline.

I know some BS artist will try to point out the time value of money and why u should take it early, but the fact is people aren't inclined to invest their benefit check if they draw early. Instead they will piss it away on strippers and since the COLA does not truly keep up with the cost of living you end up relying on other people to take care of you in your 70's and 80's. With the mentality of much of this board, that is quite the lonely proposition to face considering many of people here may not be in a monogamous relationship(wife) to help take care of you in your old age.

Social security is an insurance program, it is not suppose to be your retirement plan. OASDI (social security) stands for old age supplemental disability "INSURANCE"! Once you start viewing it as a proper insurance plan you then begin to see it as something to help insure your old age benefits to keep you from being destitute, and that is all that it should be viewed as, even though we have entitled people out there that say "it's my money I paid into and i deserve it!" No it's not in that context. Its a payroll "tax" that is funded from earnings, just like your federal and state taxes go toward funding several programs, albeit inefficiently. Social security is by far too inefficient and you'll never get the ROR on it like you can investing in your own, but it is what it is so keep in mind to wait to make the decision to draw based on your health, not your financial wants, like strippers. "Preach!"
Mate27
9 years ago
I thought I would explain the trick to spousal benefits also, but considering the forum that falls into the category of "TMI".
Clubber
9 years ago
sc,

I started drawing SS this year when I hit 66. Never see the money as it goes right into an investment account. After paying off my house, the funds needed to live went way down.
shadowcat
9 years ago
Clubber - I downsized a year ago from 3,000 sqft to 1500 sqft and my utilities were cut in half, property taxes cut 75% and of course my home owners insurance went way down too. I no longer pay any state taxes. My biggest expense is strip clubbing. LOL.
Clubber
9 years ago
My home insurance was going from about $4 a year to over $7K. My agent said many down here have opted out of the insurance game. That, and I didn't seem to owe enough to get a lower interest rate. I guess not worth the effort for anyone to write it. Whatever!

I figured when andrew hit, I didn't have any real structural damage, just water damage. I could have lived here if I needed to do so. So should another andrew hit, I'll be just fine.

Worse case. I'll by a toy hauler, hook it to my truck, take the Harley, and hit the road.

Maybe that isn't worse case! :)
metaldude
9 years ago
Congrats
pensionking
9 years ago
+1 Meat 72

Minnow -- I'm a pension actuary and I'm just trying to help, that's who I am. Clearly, one size doesn't fit all. Actuarial equivance in SS late retirement increases would be around 4% Getting an 8% per year increase for delaying benefit commencement is a bonus!! Obviously, alternatively, if you're in declining health, take a reduced SS early, find a "10" stripper for extras and spoil the shit out of her.

Given the expectation of a normal or, better yet, above-average life expectancy, like Meat72 says, I advise waiting until later. The government typically wins when the average Joe takes a reduced SS pension early. That's why they don't advertise (and why I tell anyone who wants to listen) about taking an INCREASED benefit by starting late.

Then again, it is your money -- you know what they say about a fool and his money . . .
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
Working until 70 is fucking depressing – sure it makes sense by the “numbers” but not by the penis.

Many/most Americans seem to be too fucking fixated on $$$ - now – don't get me wrong – I'm a conservative Republican and supa pro-capitalism – but the older I get (45 now) I now think twice/thrice about the efficacy/wisdom of working till you fucking drop and seeing that as a good virtue – so many people now a days are working themselves to death and supa-stressed out and sleep deprivation on use of psychiatric drugs (antidepressants; sleeping pills) is fucking rampant in our society not to mention drinking in order to relax/decompress from stress.

If one is lucky enough to have a job they love that is not too taxing; then I can see working till fucking 70 – but if one's job is very stressful and taxing or just flat-out they hate it; then being in that position to 70 is like a fucking life sentence.

If my needs are met – I rather make less and be happier than fucking trying to squeeze out every little penny and then being too old or in poor health to enjoy it.

As we would all agree – it's a personal decision but $$$ does not trump all as is often seen in the American way.
shadowcat
9 years ago
I had a job that I choose, loved and it paid very well, especially for a job that required no college and I intended to work until I was 70 but they bought me out at 68 after 42 years with the same company. I have no regrets.
Bavarian
9 years ago
Congrats, Jack.

Have fun spending that SS check on strippers :-)
DoctorPhil
9 years ago
@pensionking and meat72

maybe you can explain this seeming incongruity to me. let’s say i use your example and i have two retirees the same age. now retiree A starts taking payments of $1000 a month beginning at age 66 while retiree B waits until 70 to start taking $1320 per month. so retiree A has $48,000 in his pocket when retiree B starts taking distributions of $320 a month more than retiree A. my math tells me it will take 150 months or 12.5 years for retiree B to catch up and break even with the amount retiree A has received.

(of course if retiree A had simply saved and invested his $48,000 beginning at age 70 getting a reasonable 8% return it would work out to $320 a month and retiree B could never catch up but we don’t need to go there.)

the crux of my question, keeping it simple with no investing etc, is that with a break even age of 82.5 why would the average schmuck delay taking SS payments when the US life expectancy age is 79.5? i’m confused
DoctorPhil
9 years ago
@jackslash. why did you wait so long?
Lone_Wolf
9 years ago
@DoctorPhil: Hey man, I got dizzy reading your question, but here's my answer. Retire as early as possible and get as much young pussy as possible. I've seen too many dudes try and stretch it out only to die soon or end up in a home unable to get out of bed Live for today. Blink of an eye brother.
just_the_nuts
9 years ago
Im just tired
sharkhunter
9 years ago
I'm wondering if SS will still be there Ina couple decades or so when I think I might be ready to retire. If I don't do anything stupid with my stock investments, might not need it if things go well. Hopefully this isn't just dreaming. I did make 2.7% on a day trade today so that was nice, The stock will likely jump 10% Tommorrow since I sold.
sharkhunter
9 years ago
congrats on reaching retirement and being able to enjoy it.
minnow
9 years ago
Papi: "Work to live, not the other way around".

Dr. Phil: Maybe the average schmuck thinks they're above average.
Mate27
9 years ago
It's simple, the COLA on $1,320 monthly is compounding at a much better pace than the $1,000 monthly benefit. Then in the event you have already reached your 60's in reasonably good health to make the decision to wait to draw your benefits, you have a much higher probability of living into your 80's and 90's. The average life expectancy is brought down by people who already know they have health issues earlier in life, and of course we have tragic accidents that happen more frequently with risk takers during their youth which also brings down the life expectancy.

Basically if you are in relatively good health in your 60's you will statistically have a strong chance to live into your 90's. Playing the game of odds would mean if you have your health u stand to get more out of social security if you delay.

Short of whether someone who draws early and invests, which is not likely to happen, there are also tax consequences from social security. If anyone has taxable assets to draw on to get them to a later benefit date, you can have better control on how big your tax bill is past age 70. If u keep your taxable income low in retirement, then your social security benefits aren't taxed as much compared to if you have higher taxable income. Since social security benefits are added to your income tax base, the idea is to drawn down on your taxable assets(401ks) first and leave your non taxable assets for later in life.

Before any mathematical analysis is considered, the whole pixture comes down to behavioral finance. The analysis does not happen in a vacuum because life happens and people always rationalize ways to spend cash. Since social security is an insurance program it should be viewed as such and therefore analysis should be secondary.
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Papi explained my views on retirement better than I could have. I'm retiring in 3-5 years while I'm still young enough to fuck 19 year olds.
SuperDude
9 years ago
Welcome to the club. Some clubs are better at lunch time. Now you will get to know them.
seaboardrr
9 years ago
Hopefully I'll be able to enjoy it like some of you guys when I retire in 30 years. If the SS system even still exists then. It's not something I'm counting on. I just consider it another tax I'll never get back.
Clubber
9 years ago
Papi,

I worked and work to provide for my family. That is a responsibility I chose. I was able to allow my wife to STAY AT HOME with our children. That is nearly unheard of today with the expansion of government, sadly.

I also have enjoyed my work, which is incredibly important.

I did retire at 55, but went back to work at 60. Just got to boring. I am a creature of habit. I started school at 6 and working to some extent at 12. So having a structured life is pretty much ingrained into me.

I'm not saying it is for everyone, but work is important to me. Would be a boring ass world if we were all the same! :)
pensionking
9 years ago
Life expectancy of someone born today is 79.5. Life expectancy of someone already age 65 today is more like 85. That's just an average. Also, an average 8% return at age 65 is unlikely, unless investing in asset classes requiring higher risk tolerance than would be appropriate at age 65.

Anyway, Meat72 stated it well. It is a complex issue that requires more thought than simply "grab it as early as you can". That's all I'm saying . . .

Now, back to your regularly scheduled beaver.

Two bulls are standing atop a hill, one old and one young. There are a herd of cows in the valley below. The young bull says, "Hey, let's run down there and fuck one of them cows!" The wise old bull says, "I have a better idea. Let's walk down there and fuck em all."
minnow
9 years ago
p-king- There are lies, there are damn lies, and then there are statistics. You will hear a weather man can say there is a x percent chance of getting rain, but you won't hear him guarantee Farmer Jones that his drought will end today, nor guarantee the church that their picnic won't be rained on tomorrow. I haven't seen you post exactly when each Tuscl member will die.
But, hey, thanks for your input. (PS- I just fucked a proverbial cow on Wed. the 17th. It was good , but I didn't smoke afterwards because I want to live long enough to fuck more proverbial cows. Nice to get a head start on the old bulls)
minnow
9 years ago
The maximum social security retirement benefits for 2015 are as follows:
Age 62- $2025 month// Age 66- $2663 month// Age 70- $3501 month. If you made maximum social security wages for at least 35 years prior to your retirement date, you will likely get these benefits. Below I crunched some numbers for the breakeven point on the issue of taking SS benefits at age 62 vs age 66, and age 62 vs age 70. The numbers I came up with were 78.69, and 80.97, respectively. Beyond those ages, you'd have been better off delaying benefits to the later age.

The dirty work crunching as follows:
If you start at 62 vs 66, you'll have a $97200 head start on the guy who delayed to 66. But then he'll be gaining on you at the rate of $638/mo which will take him 152.35 months or ~12.69 years to catch up to and subsequently surpass your total benefits.

For 62 vs 70 you'll have a $194400 head start on the age 70 delayer. He'll gain on you at the rate of $1476/mo, which will take him 131.7 months or 10.97 years to catch up to and subsequently surpass your benefits.

I'll admit this methodology is somewhat flawed in that I didn't account for inflation nor figure take home pay (which is different for everyone anyway) into account. Still, the ratios will be the same for 62 vs other ages whether it is 2015, 2019, or 2023. While not perfect, I suspect that my analysis isn't too far off base. As for time value of money, I would suspect that a reasonably moderate rate of return on investments (and/or in conjunction with paying off debts faster) could probably extend the breakeven point 2 or more years beyond my figures.
Mate27
9 years ago
Once you start to consider taking spousal benefits and delaying your own benefit for later, that's when the real payoff comes. Wait this is TUSCL! Nobody believes in marriage here, except if you were divorced. Even if u were previously married for at least 10 years, assuming your wife isn't much younger than you and earned a living, this can be an option. However that scenario is unlikely, but I've seen it profitable for many couples who know how to plan correctly. The delay has strong benefits when used correctly.

FYI, I hope all of you start drawing ASAP. That will keep social security solvent for many more decades to come.
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