Prying a girl away from her regular

34 comments

• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  For the most part it just happens and there is nothing you can do about it. For example, you'd never get my current fav away from me in the club if I didn't want her to. I pay her far more than any occasional visitor to the club ever could. But you never know how strong the bond is between a dancer and her regular, so it's worth a shot. My main suggestion would be to change what you told her at the stage. You had hundreds in your pocket to spend on her, but how is she supposed to know that? For all she knows you're just another PL with $40 in your pocket. I would've said something like this when I tipped her: "you are gorgeous, and I have many hundreds of dollars that I want to spend in just you. I'm in the -- colored shirt sitting right over there. Come see me and let me spend all this money on you." This still might not work, but it has a better chance than what you said.
• footballguy

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  9 years ago

  It's happened to all of us at one point or another, not much you can do about it. I was in a similar situation a few few months ago, there was a ten on stage (physically my DS) and I tipped her very well and asked her if I could get a dance when she was done. When she got off stage she walked up to the bar and walked past me to get a water. As she walked by I thought she was coming to see me so I said hi but she barely acknowledge me and left. She went over to a table and sat there by herself looking at her phone for over an hour. I was pretty frustrated cause I never had a problem with any other dancers approaching me and I didn't get why she would rather just sit there instead of making money. Later I was talking with a different dancer who I got a couple dances from earlier in the evening and she asked if there was a particular dancer I was waiting for. I mentioned the "10" and she said she would go over and ask her to come see me. This dancer went up to the 10 and talked for a mi ite and came back and said the ten had to go on stage again but would find me when she was done. I tipped the dancer $10 and waited. After the ten was done she went to the dressing room and stayed back there for a bit. Well the other dancer found out and got pissed and approached the ten again and basically made her approach me. I finally got my dances from her but it was obvious she wasn't into it. I did get to squeeze her tits but I barely got any grind. So there's really nothing you can do to pry a dancer away from a customer. The only time I've seen it down was when I took two dancers that were friends to he VIP at the same time. I was talking with dancer 1 for a while and she asked if I wanted to bring dancer 2 with us to VIP. When I said yes dancer 1 walked up to dancer 2 who was sitting with a customer and basically pulled her up from her chair and said we are going to VIP. It was awesome.
• rockie

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  9 years ago

  The approach was fine. The only thing lack was her respect for a customers time, which isn't untypical..
• rockstar666

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  9 years ago

  @JohnSmith: Your advice is good, unless the PL really only DOES have $40 in his pocket.
• Dolfan

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  9 years ago

  I think the approach was fine too, and I think you're right: that scenario or a very similar one will play out periodically. There's countless reasons she may not have approached you. She could have been tending a regular or waiting on one to arrive, those guys could have been her real life friends, she might just not like some trait of yours, etc. Often times, you're better off not having spent your money. You made it clear you intended to spend, if she didn't want to earn that money its likely she'd have been less than enthusiastic. IMO, this is likely true if she thought it was $40 or $400 that you intended to spend. I wouldn't write her off if she approaches you next time you're in that club, but I wouldn't wait around for her either.
• sclvr5005

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  9 years ago

  Even of you flashed a was of money at her and actually got her to come over to you, you can bet that the dances probably would have been LM and rushed in her rush to get back to her regulars. Better to leave it be and move on. Clubbing should be fun and productive, not stressful.
• Tiredtraveler

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  9 years ago

  He may not be even a money spending regular. I have been in clubs where a dancer(s) sit with a guy or group of guys that does not even pay for their drinks because the girl(s) is there to party not make money. It is not much better than when the dancers sit and text all evening between sets.
• motorhead

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  9 years ago

  There's a Michigan strip club board called TwoSheds and Art, the guy that runs it, is a complete arrogant douche. However, he once posted the following -- the best advice anyone here anyone will ever receive "Money rules. Especially in strip clubs. Those who can't compete, eat shit." Two Sheds 2-5-09
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  If the girl is a "perfect 10" as the OP suggests, and if the club is busy, the average PL has a limited chance of getting her even if she's not tied to a regular. If somebody else has a better way let me know (Dougster note the opening for you to plug the Systen), but the only thing I know that works is making clear you have money to spend. Tipping a few bucks and asking for a dance won't cut it. Yes rockstar, I am assuming that the PL has money. Otherwise give up and just watch. sclvr, if her dances are LM, then just quit paying her. Just cause you have a lot of money to spend doesn't mean you have to if her dances are poor. My point is that you have to be proactive if you want to try to get a 10 away from a regular, which is what the OP asked. Cash is the only thing that can possibly accomplish that.
• chessmaster

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  9 years ago

  foregt her. always another stripper willing to do what 1 stripper wont and perhaps more.
• Clackport

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  9 years ago

  The whale is a very powerful figure in the strip club. The best way to beat the whale is to look like Brad Pitt (with a lot of money) lol.
• shadowcat

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  9 years ago

  You're SOL. Look for a second choice. When I was in the club with my ATF, the only way anyone else could get a dance from her was to ask my permission. Only 2 ever asked and they were both friends of mine that just wanted to put some money in her pocket.
• JamesSD

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  9 years ago

  You don't really want dances from girls you have to beg to come take your money, no matter how gorgeous she is. At best you'll get a perfunctory performance. There are two very attractive dancers at my club who I've never spoken with, and I go during the day when it's slow. Both clearly have high spending regulars and just aren't taking new clients right now. Money doesn't always talk. I had a girl sit with me for 30 minutes on a slow evening chatting about her dogs even after I made it clear I was done getting dances. She was just avoiding a rich racist asshole (who also wanted extras she didn't want to provide). This kind of stuff sucks at clubs with limited, uneven talent pools. If there's a 9 and a couple 5s, it can be rough.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  This topic has been discussed b/f w/ strong opinions on both sides. We PLs can be a finicky bunch – most regulars feel they are exclusively entitled to a dancer’s time while in the club – and most dancers know better than to bite the hand that feeds them. I personally feel if a dancer is not giving dances or being paid directly for her time to sit w/ a customer; then she should be free to give dances to other customers – others will not agree. If it comes to sitting/hanging-out then a dancer should stick to her regular; but if she is just siting there and not getting paid directly for her time; then she should be giving dances to other custies. Some clubs actually force dances to circulate – in one particular club down here in South Florida; I’ve hard the DJ tell the dancers they need to approach custies during the 2-for-1 or else they will be fined (I guess some dancers don’t like doing the 2-for-1s). Even more extreme; I recently read a review of an Ohio club where dancers are actually not allowed to give more than 3 dances in a row to a particular customer b/f they have to move on to other customers – hard to believe but I verified this w/ an experienced TUSCLer (I guess they don’t have many dancers in that club and the owner does not want the few dancers to be locked down by a couple of custies). I think dancers should be available for what they are there for which is to give dances (again – unless she is being paid directly for her time while sitting). But this does get into the tricky/gray area of employee vs contractor which seems to be a problem these days.
• chandler

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  9 years ago

  I've been on both sides of this story. Some strippers are just extremely hesitant to dance for new customers and suspicious of anyone flashing a lot of cash. They'd rather stay with somebody they know they're cool with. What Two Sheds proclaims may be true for douchebags, but I think it's usually counterproductive to tip more than a dollar or two, or to promise her the big bucks. It attracts the wrong kind of stripper and sends the wrong message to the good ones. You're better off just tipping her the usual and acting as real as possible and hoping for the best. Which is basically what you did.
• Svenhxc166

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  9 years ago

  Hey guys, thanks for all the comments. It's given me a lot to think about. I think if the club is lopsided in talent and there's only one girl who I want a dance from, I will try flashing the cash, but otherwise I'll stick with the more laid back approach and try to catch other fish, which is what I did that night. But sometimes the one you couldn't get sticks in your mind more than the ones you do...
• chandler

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  9 years ago

  Something to bear in mind in this type of scenario: If you're very obvious about watching her while she's with her regular, it can put her off to you. Often when I'm with a fave, she'll tell me there's some guy who wants her to dance for him who keeps looking at her. It can come off as invasive or creepy and make her more determined than ever to ignore the dude. Sure, a strip club is supposed to be one place where it's all right to stare at chicks, and in most situations it works to show her that you're interested. But if you've already made your interest known, yet you persist in eyeing her while she's trying to relax, she might resent it. So don't overdo it.
• Clubber

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  9 years ago

  JamesSD hit the nail on the proverbial head, "You don't really want dances from girls you have to beg to come take your money, no matter how gorgeous she is." I can just about guarantee it won't be worth it.
• Lone_Wolf

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  9 years ago

  That's the problem with ten's. Money just flows for them and they don't have to work for it. Even if she did give a dance, they may have been mechanical and she would have split the second the songs were over. Even so, if I see a dancer that totally rocks my boat on stage, I'll stick a twenty in her panties and just say hi. Works 90% of the time.
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  "You don't really want dances from girls you have to beg to come take your money, no matter how gorgeous she is." Makes sense and this is often true. But I've experienced quite a few exceptions as well. I prefer to offer her a bunch of cash as motivation to come and play with me. If she's low mileage I cut my losses and stop quickly. No way she can force me to keep spending no matter what I iriginally said to her. If she's high mileage I just made a new friend that I wouldn't have otherwise gotten to play with. But of course it also depends on the other options as others observed. No need to pursue her if lots of others will do just as well.
• grand1511

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  9 years ago

  The thing that bugs me with this story and many others like it is that at the stage the dancer promises to stop by and the minutes later obviously doesn't. It's probably a conflict avoidance technique, but wouldn't we as customers (I've had this situation numerous times ) actually be happier to be honestly told that she has to go back to her regulars. Being deceptive not to hurt feelings only ends up hurting the feelings harder, I think.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  ^ IMO it’s better if a dancer tells me she has someone waiting on her than tell me she’ll be right over and not come. Although there are times when they don’t have anyone waiting on them and they still don’t come and disappear in the dressing room or go sit by themselves.
• sclvr5005

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  9 years ago

  As well know strippers ain't the sharpest tools in the drawer. By telling you "yes I'll come by to see you" she assumes that you will just happily sit there waiting (if she even gives a shit at all) and she knows that next time you are money in the bank. They are clueless as to how they come off to the stupid poor bastards that they do this too. Or they are so conceited that they just don't care.
• goonster

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  9 years ago

  Nothing wrong with your approach. She was a 10 physically, but obviously not the sharpest tool in the shed and not that into providing customer service. Not much you can do but move on.
• lopaw

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  9 years ago

  I'm firmly rooted in the camp to walk away and find another dancer. Plenty more fish in the sea. To get all spun up about one stripper when there are a room full of them seems counterproductive to me. Personally I don't like to monopolize dancers, tho sometimes they sit with me and they just won't leave. Not my fault. I'll even prod them to go make some money but they sometimes get lazy or if they've made their money for the day and they just want to kick back for awhile, even avoiding going on stage. Point is that the decision to not go see you is on them, not necessarily on the PL that they are sitting with.
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  Agree that everyone ends up on both sides of this. I stick with my CFs for the solid 2-3 hours I'm at the club, no breaks, and she's not available to anyone else. Once in a while, a waitress or bouncer will come over and tell her "that guy over there wants a dance" ... and even more once in a while, I tell her to go for it, she does some rushed dances and comes back to me right away. Which is why, when teh shoe is on the other foot, I never try to lure her away from her regular; who the fuck wants a rushed dance, only to see her run back to her regular again? Instead, I catch her on stage, and when she comes for her tip, Itell her, "I see you're with another customer, but I'm really interested in getting some VIPs from you, what other days can I catch you?" Sometimes, she tells me, "oh, that guy? We just like to sit and talk, if you want dances, I'll be right over", and sometimes, she explains to me that she's with her reglar, and I meet her on some other day she's working that week.
• farmerart

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  9 years ago

  Virtually all of my strip club visits have taken place on business trips and I am always well beefed with cash. I always try to make the dancers know that I am willing to spend my cash. If I can't get results from the dancer that has the most appeal for me I am willing to settle for second choice or third choice. However, I am very aggressive in pursuing choice #1. I will even approach choice #1 if she is sitting with another guy (or group of guys). I get shot down lots but I also occasionally score some choice stripper pussy that I would never get without being so aggressive. I never been involved in any scrap with another customer because of my actions. SCs are all about money. If
• xxxrated

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  9 years ago

  Ay [view link] pet peeve about strip clubs today....These whores today, will not walk the room. They sit on their ass all night with the same customer ,listening to the same lame jokes(while making no Additional cash) ,meanwhile customers with wads of cash sitting around bored out of their minds. Actually the WHORES are supposed to walk the room. Pulling a WHORE away from a certain thuggish type customer can lead to a parking lot shooting. However, i suppose you could flash these WHORES some cash ,buy some drinks,feed their ego and they may sit with you for a few minutes maybe even a good lap dance. Eventually you could become the WHORE"S next regular (VICTIM)...Never trust a stripper.
• humvry

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  9 years ago

  My favorite expression really applies in all SC.; " Money talks and Bullshit walks" It is the overall money that a regular spend on the inside as well on the outside of the club that counts and that can run into the thousands a one time $500 won't do it!!!!
• Clubber

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  9 years ago

  Here you go... [view link]
• sharkhunter

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  9 years ago

  Lol, at clubber's video. :) I'd stay busy with other dancers for an hour or two, then if she was free, try your luck again to see if she bites, if you aren't busy with other dancers. Dancers tend to spot those who are getting dances and spending money and getting other dancers attention. It's a lot easier to get the girls to come after you rather than chase them down. On the other side when a dancer even if I like her takes up more than 2 to 3 hours of my time, I'm usually ready to find an excuse to find another dancer to entertain me. That is if there is enough talent in the strip club. Some dancers can get in a habit of sitting, talking and entertaining their regulars for quite a while.
• georgmicrodong

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  9 years ago

  There must be a real ahortage of shrimp where you are. You've made an effort, and whether because she's taking a sure thing over a possibility, or because you're a creeper, or because she's stupid, she didn't take you up in it. If a $20 stage tip (which I'll admit I've never tried) and a polite request to come see you when she's done didn't do the trick, there's really not much else that is likely to work, short of Art's approach if that's your style. She's got her reasons, whether or not they are recognizable as reasonable to the rest of us. If money didn't change her mind, it's not likely anything else will.
• minnow

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  9 years ago

  I seem to recall farmerart telling about the time shortly before closing where he walked up to a table full of young dudes, made his cash spiel to the dancer who in turn eagerly went with him. OP's case is different- he made his pitch while on stage only to get jilted. I agree with Grand1511 in that saying yes (or implying it- "I'll find you after my set") while really meaning no is worse than just saying that she's with someone for now. In that case, best to move on to alternate choices, either in dancer(s), or clubs.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  “… Prying a girl away from her regular …” Have you tried a crowbar – sometimes one needs to get literal.