Age & sstripclubbing

avatar for gawker
gawker
Older than dirt
One commenter asked who was the best "old timer" on this site. I love reading Farmerart's adventures and Shadowcat's insights and humor. I just returned from 2 weeks in south Florida where I was surrounded by OLD people. Being over 65 I was required to drive 10 mph below the speed limit, not allowed to use directionals, had to eat dinner at 4:30 and carry 1/2 my meal home in a dog bag. Playing golf took 5 hours and I had to play from the "senior tees". Everybody went to church frequently as they are all studying for their finals.
Now that I'm home, I'm getting my ass to my favorite club and have scheduled OTC with my ATF for ASAP. Proof that there's old and there's OLD!

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avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago
Don't forget using the express check-out lane at the grocery and taking 5 minutes to write a check
avatar for farmerart
farmerart
11 years ago
@steve229,

What's a 'check'?

Is there any possibility that you meant to write 'cheque', as those of us literate in the English are wont to do?

Americans..............Sheesh!
avatar for farmerart
farmerart
11 years ago
But to gawker's post......

Farmerart's adventures? Really? Most of my time is now spent in Alberta and the Northwest Territories, the most barren spots for useful SCs on the North American continent.

My adventures for this weekend will be dealing with the mess in my yard caused by the too-fast snow melt of the past week. Greenhouse work will consume another few hours. There is a particularly nasty chore to be done on my grain truck restoration project that I hope to complete on Sunday.

These are adventures?
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
11 years ago
@Steve, Farmerart thinks the English language was perfected when The Canterbury Tales was written. lol
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
11 years ago
^^^ around here it is check...how do you know Canadian's are not the ones that have it wrong?
avatar for farmerart
farmerart
11 years ago
Uh, crazyjoe, the word Canadians is a plural in your usage, not a possessive, and does not require an apostrophe in English usage.

Perhaps the gibberish spoken and written in USA is more tolerant of such howlers that pain my eyes.
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
11 years ago
Here's the gibberish other English speaking countries are using (Canada, England, Australia) haha!
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
11 years ago
Excuse me for joining in late. I just got up. After I finish my coffee, I'll go shave & shower. I am supposed to meet snowtime at our favorite strip club at 12:30 and it's a 50 minute drive busting the speed limits by 10-20mph. I am fully recovered from the procedure I had a week ago and am raring for action.
avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago

@mikeyao2 - just humour Art, remember he's ageing & tyred.
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
11 years ago
Sorry your having such a bad day Art. Hopefully it gets better
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
11 years ago
What a drag it is getting olde
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
11 years ago
Getting old has its compensations. I can now have sex with girls half my age without going to jail (or girls one third my age).

avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
11 years ago
You forgot holding up the drive through window line while asking for a senior citizen discount and then the girl saying they only have a drink special for that. I've had to wait while others asked.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
@Mikey-Haha. I have some olde tyres that need to be replaced.
avatar for jester214
jester214
11 years ago
I guess since America fought to be free (vs kowtowing till it was handed to us) we feel it's okay to tweak the language we speak.

You do realize that 'Canadian English' is a thing?
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
11 years ago
Also, holding up a line of cars that have the green light, cuz the senior citizen is still slowly walking across the street
avatar for gawker
gawker
11 years ago
During my most recent visit to Calgary the banque cashed my check just fine. N'est pas?
Farmerart, your descriptions of your randy times with Sweetie, whether in Toronto or Hawaii are TUSCL classics. That's if you remember - the memory is the second thing to go, you know.
Another advantage to getting along in years is the ability to make a complete fool of oneself and not worry about it. I've just booked a room at a 5 star hotel & spa and will be joining my ATF there for couples massage in our suite with room service to follow. I envision a meal like the one in the movie Tom Jones, but you need to be old to remember that flique.
avatar for gawker
gawker
11 years ago
Many years ago I took a college course entitled "The History & Structure of the English Language". I learned that a healthy language is always changing and that common usage determines correctness. I had to translate "Old English" into modern English and realized that change is a constant. Just last week Hasbro Toys added new words to the Scrabble Dictionary.
avatar for kingknight
kingknight
11 years ago
I was the one who posed the old timer question, glad you guys took it well and did not mean any offense. Frankly, your abilities to juggle multiple young babes, far flung adventures with girls half your age is outstanding. I'm pushing 40 and recently got started with this hobby, so appreciate everythung I can learn from you guys.

Thanks!
avatar for farmerart
farmerart
11 years ago
Aha, gawker, the romps with Sweetie are adventures? I guess we did have a couple of off-the-wall moments. It will be a long time before I forget our first encounter in Club Pro and Sweetie's wanton behaviour on the Ligurian coast was also rather 'memorable'.

OK, I'll buy that.....but you have had so many more with your ATF. Some of the funky stuff you went through with her?..........nothing that I have done comes close to that.

Now.....what were we talking about?
avatar for gawker
gawker
11 years ago
Funky, weird, perverted, extraordinary, illegal, dangerous, extra-terrestrial; no matter what adjective I use; I've had a fucking ball with my paramour and have been able to cross several items off of my bucket list (sexual division). How about you younger Tusclers? Do you have things you'd like to do with a young beautiful woman ( or women) before your dick rots and falls off, or before your ticker gives up the ghost? I've gone up to 6000 feet in a hot air balloon, sky dived ( with a helper), gone parasailing, taken an hour long ride in a glider, gotten a blow job in an elevator, gotten laid in the high school principal's office, been the envy of other "uncles" in Las Vegas when I had the best looking arm candy in the room, and generally have performed every sexual act I can think of. There are many positions in the Karma Sutra which escape me because I can't bend that way anymore, but I'm trying. My ATF kindly says that age is a state of mind and she drives me out of my mind so it becomes meaningless (as long as the money lasts).
avatar for DoctorPhil
DoctorPhil
11 years ago

getting old is a bitch but i’m not ready for the alternative
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
11 years ago
farmer art: one of the things from which I have been freed since I moved from Canada is having to cart around and use all those extra letters, particularly u. The labour savings alone brings colour to my cheeks and ensures that I write smaller checques!

One that never took hold was Westinghouse's use of "employe" in place of "employee" in all of their HR manuals. HR was the only group that used it.
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
11 years ago
I have to admit that "arse over tits" is way more proper English than the American "head over heels".
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
11 years ago
The older they are the earlier in the day they go stripclubbing. I will be stripclubbing in the morning soon.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Rascals! Once you get olde, you get to drive Rascals. I'm gonna drive over the toes of unsuspecting whippersnappers when I'm old.
avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago
A few weeks ago I saw an olde guy in the club, had to be in 70's, but he sat ramrod straight, perfectly groomed, full head of silver hair, immaculate suit & tie, and seated with the hottest girl in the place who was fawning all over him - that's who I want to be when I grow up, lol!
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
11 years ago
I just got back from the club. A petite dancer, 49 years younger than myself talked me into letting her change my oil. Now for a quiet night at home.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
@Shadow-Was this Follies or Jiffy Lube?
avatar for gawker
gawker
11 years ago
I just got home from the club where a young lady played my organ like a harmonica. What a treat.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
11 years ago
gawker,

Cold man! I'm in S. Florida and hit the big 65 just yesterday! :-)
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
11 years ago
Clubber - Happy Birthday again. I celebrated at Follies for you yesterday. How soon before you can draw full Social Security?
avatar for farmerart
farmerart
11 years ago
Happy birthday, Clubber........I guess?

I wasn't particularly pleased when the same birthday rolled around for me 4 months ago.

I wonder how many of the 65+ brigade exist here on tuscl? Off the top of my head I can think of 10 of us old wrinklies.
avatar for mausercat
mausercat
11 years ago
9 in cat years---I'm 73. Still fall in love each time I wander through the portals with some young lady with a heart of gold beneath her scanty raiment.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
11 years ago
lol @ US vs Canada
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
11 years ago
mausercat - your calculations appear to be wrong.

The table below shows the correspondence between a cat's chronological age and the age of a human at a comparable stage of development.


Calendar years

Equivalent human age

1 15
2 24
3 28
4 32
5 36
6 40
7 44
8 48
9 52
10 56
11 60
12 64
13 68
14 72
15 76
16 80
17 84
18 88
19 92
20 96
21 100

I'm 14 in cat years (72).
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Happy Birthday, Clubber.
avatar for gawker
gawker
11 years ago
I'm looking forward to my next birthday because I'm 68 now and my ATF feels that 69 is a number worthy of special attention.
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
11 years ago

"I had to play from the senior tees"

I'm so old I can use my putter to drive the ball

avatar for Clubber
Clubber
11 years ago
sc,

Thanks again. BTW did "I" have a HE at Follies? :)

I have to wait till I am 66 and 3 months I believe it was. I can draw nothing now since my income is so monumental (Yeah, right!).

gawker,

"...my ATF feels that 69 is a number worthy of special attention." Excellent! I hope I can remember that in another 4 years. :)
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
11 years ago
Clubber - yes you did. :) I had to wait till 65 & 10 months.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
11 years ago
sc,

I last checked when I hit 62. I really think I could draw a reduced amount now, but why not just way till I can draw the full amount? I plan on staying "working" at least as long as this company will have me.
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