Black Lights

Well now, that's really...something.

I'll report back when I've figured out what.

All right, just to settle the issue, here are my findings:

1. I climaxed in the club as planned wearing the aforementioned black clothing. The good news is that nothing glowed. The bad news is that the thin spandex underpants and thin silk pajama bottoms still allowed some very minor dampness to soak to the outside, though not enough to stir anyone's notice. If the dancer noticed, she didn't say anything even though I politely told her what was happening inside my pants.

2. When I arrived home a short time later, I used an incandescent black light bulb to examine the inside of my underwear. Again, nothing glowed.

So evidently neither fluorescent nor incandescent black lights will cause semen to glow.

I am going to assume that the posters who verified that semen glows under UV light have accurate sources.

The next question to ask is, "What of it?"

I ask because I am about to test the clothing ensemble this board recommended some months ago to me for maximum enjoyment and climax. It will consist of stretchy nylon exercise shorts, black silk pajama bottoms, a deep purple long-sleeve dress shirt worn outside the pants, dark gray socks and black dress shoes.

I want to be able to climax without any obvious signs to the outside world. The material of the shorts is fairly thin and porous, so I can conceive that possibility. These shorts are normally worn for exercise *under* other exercise clothes as far as I can tell. I bought them at Wal-Mart in the underwear section.

I am hoping that the black silk pajama bottoms and overlying dress shirt will do the trick, but wanted insight from more experienced patrons.

Sorry, I forgot to mention that the shorts are black, too.

Just wanted to comment that my do-not-read list is now up to 3 people. Ifyou find certain people's comments annoying and a waste of time, just stop reading them. Like small children everywhere, they thrive on attention, and will go elsewhere if they don't get it here.

Hey, don't compare parodyman to a twat! A twat is something many people want to have intercourse with.

I finally googled the issue, and a few reliable looking sites confirmed that semen and other body excretions flouresce under UV light, so I'm flat out w-r-o-n-g. I ddn't bother googling why strip clubs use black light, because I know that's not the reason, and I'm a fucking expert.

As for this p-man, if anybody still reads him let me know if he stops parodying a twat and starts posting about strip clubs. Until then, I'll skip over his desperate love pleas along with RL's.

parodyman, Might as well get this over with. You require constructive criticism from others, yet feel no recipricol obligation. To the contrary you seem to relish the slightest "provocation" as an excuse to insult people. You say it is because you hate self appointed experts. I don't recall TropicalH2O or chandler cclaiming any special expertise, yet you seem to have no problem appointing yourself both the board expert, and the judge of others expertise. DavidS was another know it all on the board. I called bullshit on him and he scampered away shortly after that. I'd be glad to call upon your expertise if you like. Think of it this way, take the whole board put together and we know more than you do. Unless you are a lawyer I'd guess Chitown knows more about the law. Unless you are a physicist, astrophysicist, or mathemetician I'd guess I know more about math and science than you (and possibly chemistry and a few other topics). One thing we do all know however is stripclubs. Most of us have hit them for 10+ years and while we appreciate discussion and trading tips and topics we don't appreciate punks like davids telling us we're full of it, or other know it all's telling us none of our opinions are worth reading in the most insulting terms possible. If you've got nothing better to add than insults there are other boards you can go post on.

parodyman, this will be my last post directed at you. I'm sure you don't care, and will continue being a jerk. But I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

This last guy (tropicalwhateverthefuck) saw how it was done on CSI. Great another "expert" on this board. Just what we need. Yes dried semen stains will glow when exposed to UV. You can buy a blacklight and test this at home on the last pair of underwear you wore to the stripclub. Or just go over to chandler's house and shine the light into his mouth. You will see the glow.

The black lights make the dancers' white, bright pink, orange and lime green costumes glow. It also makes people's eyes look really strange when they are standing close to the black light. I've seen actors on CSI use special flashlights with an orange filter over the light to detect semen. Perhaps the bulb is a blacklight. I seriously doubt that the black light is to show semen. Most of this substance when released remains on the man's skin, clothes or in a wrapper. I've noticed that dancers' skin seems to look tanner under a blacklight. -T

The myth must have some currency. I once heard of a dancer doing OTC who required a raincoat early in the preceedings because she was going to dance later that evening, and didn't want any stray spooge to show up on the blacklights at the club.

This is just what I hear from the older boys, however...

I think the point is that in a club there would very likely be a lot of things glowing much brighter. Besides, every club goer knows red is the prefered color to make the women look good.

I am dubious about the semen "legend", however, because I've been in a few clubs where there must be stains all over the seats and carpet, and yet you don't see it glow.

Part of the appeal of black light may trace back to head shops and their associations of illicitness.

In addition to making sneakers look weird, the tiniest traces of lint stands out like dandruff on my dark shirts and slacks. Girls' hair bleach or peroxide looks green, and their makeup (or possibly tanning) acquires a weird orange pallor.

All I know is that the black lights always make the tennis shoes that I normally wear look pink. I think it's supposed to make the girls look better but I don't think it works very well in that regard. It give a lot of girls an unhelathy looking pallor. It's another one of those strip club traditions that makes no sense and maybe never did. Where do these traditions come from anyway and why do they continue?

This seems to be a reputable enough site.

http://www.bvda.com/EN/prdctinf/semen_fl…

From a quick reading of that and an article in Forensicmag.com it appears that it does glow, but just not very bright compared to many other common things, so the police usually do use filter glasses and there are other ways better than plain blacklight.

I very much doubt clubs would use blacklight for this purpose. For one thing, do they really want to know?

Am I sure? No, never having tried it myself, but I believe it does. I'll look it up. It's possible that the phosphorescense (sp?) is also in the UV. You are right however that bleach and many laundry detergent ingredients do glow.

AN: Are you sure semen doesn't require a special filter unlike anything clubs would use, and some spray similar to luminol for making blood glow?

Actually black lights emit most of their energy in the UV (ultra-violet) range of light. Our eyes don't see in this range, but many things will react to the UV light with phosphorescence (i.e. they glow, or emit visible light). Semen actually does show up in UV light.

Some of the clubs I go to use dark lights, but if they wanted to stop the 'good times' all they had to do is get more security.

For example, in some towns in Texas (especially Dallas and Houston), it is well known that if you have the $$$, you can get the full menu (wink, wink). A lot of clubs in those towns know that strippers are doing hand jobs and blow jobs and having sex in the clubs, but they don't give a damn as long as 1) the club gets a cut of the cash, and 2) LE doesn't know about it.

They use black lights because it looks cool. It doesn't make semen glow, but it makes bleach glow, which is often used to clean semen stains. I bet that's where the "legend" comes from.