Dancers: Sad Stories and Taking Advantage of Customers

There are a lot of sad stripper stories. Some of them are even true.

Earlier this year a favorite dancer still in her teens came up to me in the club. She looked sad and I asked what was wrong. She said that she really didn't want to be there but needed the money. A few days earlier 3 armed men had come into her apartment, held a gun up to her boy friend's head and killed him. Then held the gun up to her head until she gave them all her money. Approximately $1,000.

It never made the news papers but a friend of mine that knows her better than I do, had seen the evidence. We don't buy the robbery motive and figure that it was probably drug related.

Anyhow I did not know that at the time and when she asked if I wanted to do a VIP session, I was just too bummed out to accept.

There's a million naked stories in the city and even if half of them are true, they should not intrude in the workplace. I'm a sap for sad stories but am becoming inured after hearing them over and over. At least 90% of them are self-inflicted and are totally avoidable. Increasingly, I walk away from these plaints in that those that are fabricated are as convoluted and duplicitous as can be and I've got my own sad stories which is why I'm there for escapism.

First things first-Maybe it was the truth, maybe it was SS. If it was SS, then that's some fucked up SS.

That being said, I know of some dancers who have had real hard times. One is a single mom who hasn't seen the father since before the birth.

The second part-She's a smart hustler and a dumb ass drunk gets what they deserve.

Not in the same ballpark, but my CF at the tie unloaded on me about her nearly getting arrested. Her female friend's loser bf stole a dun from a police car while she was with them. She was released some hours later, but over the next few days her friend and the guy's brother and friends started to threaten her. I offered to help however I could, but she said she'd work it out. I found out during all this that her help came from an old gf that was more than just a gf. I think they got back together then, but no idea now.

" I guess that teaches you not to get drunk in the strip club unless you want dancers taking advantage of you.
"

I've said this about Alcohol consumption more times than I remember.

I may be able to offer some clarification to "SS." I think there are 2 main reasons that dancers saddle customers with their sob stories"
- Customers are trying to get everything they can from us for as little money as possible. They don't care if it will cause us physical or mental pain or if it will get us fired. It's hard not to get frustrated, as a human being. I don't condone it, as it hurts the industry and offends my personal work ethic. But why would it surprise you that some strippers get calloused and will try to get the most money they can from you with the littlest effort? Enough guys try to bully me into $10 BJs in a night to turn most sane people crazy. I've been bitten, punched, slapped, screamed at, reported to management with BS charges and insulted on review sites. It's tempting to bully back and I don't blame young, sensitive girls for lashing out. You can't expect an 18 year old to act like a 40 year old, logic and maturity wise. Sometimes you are going to get jerks who have no idea what money is really worth. That's the trade off for looking at 20 year old boobs. Just ignore sob stories, move along to a more professional dancer and don't let it get you down.
- This job can be confusing. Men tend to talk and touch dancers as if they are friends and some times it lulls you into a false sense of emotional intimacy. If a dance is going through something huge, it's hard not to tell someone who really seems to care. We all slip once in a while. A few weeks ago I was talking to a regular at the start of the night and he asked me how I was doing. I told him I was great. He leaned forward, looked into my eyes and said "How are you really doing?" For a split second, I thought he meant that he could tell I had a bad day. We've gotten to know each other a little and it felt good to have some one notice, so I said "Work was just really shitty and hectic today." And he immediately hardened and sat back and looked away and said "Yeah, we're all under a lot of stress." Obviously, the correct answer had been "horny," and I was able to salvage the conversation by telling him how glad I was to be at the club, as it's my favorite way to unwind (which is true). Its hard, sometimes, even after I've been doing it for years, to remember that the answer is always "horny."

Not to be captain obvious, but the girls all have their own hustle, and some of them are particularly adept at getting men to feel paternal and protective and white-knight-ish, and that's how they make their $$$. It might not work on you, but it works for her on lots of guys. She just didn't profile you right this time.

Of course, sometimes a sad story is just a sad story, but unless you know her really well, you should boot up with "story to motivate me to be her white knight", until it's proven otherwise.

How do I feel about sad stories? I'm there to have fun. If I hear her sad story and it bugs me, I move on. If I hear her sad story and I can just get over it, or enjoy talking her through it, then no worries. Sad stories from strippers do not make me feel paternal/protective. If it's from a girl I know well, then that changes things, and I might react differently.

Oh boo hoo--spare me the sob stories. Whenever I even THINK a woman's going to lay that on me, I send her on her way IMMEDIATELY.

I'm not in the Club to be your psychotherapist; I'm in the Club to get my dick sucked.

It'd be like me telling HR at my place of employment that my car broke down the other day. So? What's that got to do with them? Do the work you're paid to do--what happens on your time is your responsibility.

Very well said "Michellemarie," wherever you are. The problem is we are human, but insist on acting like animals, and that's even an insult to my very loving little Dachshund curled up next to me. Nothing wrong with selling / buying human contact, but why not maintain some ethics / decency? I always look for some connection and a nice vibe w/ dancers and always try to get some genuine laughs before pursuing contact. I want the girls to like me or be attracted to me because I enjoy it much more. But, I go to SCs to enjoy the best of women (while not having to put up with their typical flaws), not to demean, degrade or punish them, which is the MO of some men. I appreciate honesty from a dancer and respond in kind, but anything akin to bitching, venting, lying, manipulating is a turn off and something I can get from any women almost immediately for free. No doubt strippers have a difficult job -- always pressured to give it up for peanuts -- but that's what you get from most monkeys. The best strippers have the ability to maintain chemistry / attractiveness while subtly guilting the guy into paying her fee because she's worth it, not because she's pathetic, desperate or a complete fuck up. Some game playing is expected and should be enjoyed, but bringing up murders, drug busts, cancer treatments, sick children always crosses the line and quickly robs guys of their wood and happy faces. Interesting fact: I've never had any heavy shit dumped on me from strippers in Mexico -- and you know they have some legitimate horror stories to tell. Instead, it's always been from their American counterparts...

Let's face it, there has been more BS piled on this world in my 65 years than I can even fathom. It comes from everywhere.

Tell me, where, these days, is a handshake on a deal gospel?

In my experience too many dancers have spewed too much BS for me to believe anything that they claim. I don't even listen to it anymore. I move on to the next one who says little and dances more.

Don't forget the second part of the discussion regarding the dancer and the drunk customer.

Gawker- I have tough grading standards, but I have to say your ATF is absolutely gorgeous. She's a 9 in my eyes.

Ranukam, the real test here will be if she tells you the same story a year from now!

Seriously, my favorite dancer is a GIF (yep, that's Grandma I'd like to ... fool around with. She is always kind of on the edge trying to earn enough to take care of a drug-addicted daughter and her grandson. I consider her a friend and am glad that she trusts me enough to talk through those things. She has never asked anything but payment for our dances, and all the stories end with "as bad as things seem, I will work it out".

She has just finished updating her qualifications for being a medical assistant and is working on a nursing degree because, as she says, "I won't look like this forever."

That woman is a hero as far as I am concerned.

SCing *is* business since $$$ is involved (and sometimes lots of it).

Often times when there is $$$ involved; some will say or do anything to get yours. Also; dancers are pretty much salespeople - how many salespeople will say anything to make a sale.

Just as they lie, or to be kind; “stretch the truth”; about how much they like us and that we are their favorite custie and that bla bla bla - if they lie or “stretch the truth” about those things to get that $$$; then …

When it comes to people wanting your money; one will hear all kinds of things – how many bums or people on the street have come up to you with sob stories asking you for $$$.

For most people; it is normal to care and want to help; but the SC is not the place for these types of convos. IMO – most dancers that tell you sob stories are just working a particular angle to get your $$$ - IMO they are just trying to ROB you – I would just smile and look sympathetic but not give them a dime unless I wanted dances from them.

w.r.t. ROB dancers or ROB anybody – nobody like ROBs whether they are dancers or w/e.

Yeah – if a dancer was bragging, or just even mentioning, how she ROBed a custie; that would be a big turnoff to me and most likely I would not deal w/ her at all; not even have a convo w/ her (unless she was superfine – then I would have to be a little flexible :))

I got a ice box where my heart used to be

^^^lol Esta

Custies go to clubs to have fun and escape their own problems. The LAST thing any custie was to deal with is someone else's baggage while he's PAYING to be distracted from his (or her in some cases) headaches. Stripper are supposed to be selling & providing a fantasy not more baggage.

DUH! Providers who do not get this don't deserve our $!

I don't really see this as something that's particular to stripper-custy interaction. Co-workers and other acquaintances (besides strippers) will sometimes go into TMI mode with you. I try to be encouraging if possible. But you can't let it cross over into abuse of your time (or money). Also, it's usually a problem of the TMI-spewer not knowing how to cultivate real friendships. So it's somewhat a cruel-to-be-kind sitch, they need to learn they can't rely on random people for support.

I don't think acquaintance defines random support. Not too familiar but not totally unfamiliar either. Wait he can't read this...FUCK

"Customers are trying to get everything they can from us for as little money as possible. They don't care if it will cause us physical or mental pain or if it will get us fired."

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm sure many dancers consider me to be cheap. But I think rude, impolite, inconsiderate behavior is always trashy and uncalled for. If someone's too superior to be polite to strippers, they're too superior to be in a strip club.

@Michellmarie: Well said. I've never found listening to a dancer vent about her day to be particularly burdensome. Even if I *know* I won't be getting any. :)

In my 35+ years of going to strip clubs, a cheerful stripper is a lying one, about 80% of the time. Maybe "lying" is too strong a word there, but if she's all super smiley and giggly she's probably hiding a fair bit of pain somewhere. Or high. Which means she's hiding pain in an unhealthy way.

Mind you, I've *have* met really happy strippers, but they are fewer than the unhappy ones, and listing to a young girl vent isn't doing me any harm.

First off, if I am ever sitting with a stripper long enough (through one or multiple visits) that things move into sad story time, then it is because I have some interest in her. I move the below 6s and girsl with canned crap out very quickly.

So with that said, I've heard so many sad stories, and watched subsequent actions of the girls telling these stories, that I am now perfectly fine with sad stories. Why? Because the type of story gives a lot away about her mindset and potential OTC availability.

For example, the ones using stories about desperate cash needs due to [insert unfortunate event here] are, in my experience, great targets for a quick OTC chat. If she is telling the truth and really needs the money, she'll do what she has to. Conversely, the ones who were full of shit from the word "go" and those who would rather starve than let guys fuck them for money quickly become very apparent, at which point it is on to the next one.

Another classic is the child molestation story. I have never found a girl who told this story to be a good OTC target. Whether it is true or a girl is full of shit, the end result is the same, with a girl claiming that her past issues make casual sex impossible.

Yet other stories, including baby daddy drama, criminal issues and court dates, etc., et al, are, in my experience, very telling, often in a positive way. IME girls with a little grit in their lives are always better OTC targets than those who spout canned lines and actually believe that they are trying to sell me some kind of fantasy.

So please gals, keep making it easy for me to know what I am dealing with. :)

“… Customers are trying to get everything they can from us for as little money as possible. They don't care if it will cause us physical or mental pain or if it will get us fired. It's hard not to get frustrated, as a human being …”


IME – most customers are willing to pay the going rate – “little as possible” could also mean the dancer believes the going rate is too little.

The dancer also has the ability to say “no” to w/e the custie desires/wants.

Dancers are motivated by $$$ and it’s only natural they will want to get as much of it while having to give as little as possible – custies are motivated by sex and are going to want to get as much of it for as little as possible.

At the end of the day – we have to meet somewhere in the middle to where it works for both parties.

I hate sad stripper stories

I would of course not prefer to hear them (sobs) when I’m there to enjoy myself – but I don’t mind lending my ear to anyone whom may need it or offer help or useful advice if I can (dancer or not).

What I *do* mind is being taken for a ride by dancers using sob stories to try and take my cash – I detest dishonesty – if you are a ho – then be a ho and we’ll take it from there – but don’t be a deceiving ho – have some pride :)

There was this one dancer I used to love. She looked like Selena Gomez. She told me she lived in another nearby town with her son and she had taken up guardianship of her sister. She always talked about not wanting to work there, and while I never said it, I kept thinking "well then, why not get another job that you can tolerate better?". It was a good idea to keep my mouth shut. Anyway, a few months back I was on the bus going somewhere, and lo and behold, she was waiting at a bus stop to go to work just a few blocks east of where I lived. I actually felt worse for her because that part of town is a reletively shitty part, but long story short, she made up the story about living so far away from the club and it was hard to get places.

Everything a stripper says is totally true. They share their stories with you because they find you very attractive and want to develop an honest and meaningful relationship with you.

It will very much help your developing relationship with her if you step up and provide the critically needed resources to help her put this isolated crisis behind her so she can concentrate on making you blissfully happy.

Wow Dallas – you have incredible insight into strippers – I didn’t know that is how it was – thanks so much for the education

:)

A lot of dancers have sad stories about guys trying to rape them during lap dances. If you don't feel/show any sympathy for that, it would be natural for them to feel nervous with you, that you might try that yourself at some point.

Dancers see me as cheap because, if a dancer is my fav, I buy lots of dances instead of tipping.

I definitely can't see trying to use a dancer's emergency situation as a way to get her to do extras she wouldn't normally do. It's bad enough that we can't find someone where the attraction is mutual to make out with. I can't see feeling aroused when the chick is feeling disgust and despair.