girls that don't ask for dances

It doesn't happen at Follies. There are no empty seats. :)

I need to get there SC. Nearest international airport, Atlanta? :-)

Yes. It happens a lot. Seems especially bad at some of the Deja Vu chains. Dancers can often be found sitting around on their phones while paying customers are sitting 2 feet away. It is quite common.

Occasionally I do see dancers sitting alone or in small groups, ignoring customers and focused on their phones (or not focused at all). A few times I have been around when these "loners" jump up and energetically great a customer just as he enters. My assumption is that these seemingly unfriendly dancers are texting regulars and awaiting the arrival of sure money instead of working the crowd. Other times, it seems they showed up because they had to and are too stoned to function.

I do see this happen at other clubs and it's my opinion that they are just waiting on regulars. BIG spending regulars.

I've seen it happen from time to time. And usually it's the hottest ones who do it. I don't know really know why.

Definatley agree with you there govikings.

My ATF usually sits around with her friends when we're not dancing because she knows I'm her meal ticket as long as I'm there. She's quite popular and I can see guys being frustrated if they want a dance from her when she's taking a break between sets with me.

^^^ I thought somebody would say that.

If the dancers AREN'T interested in "Dancing" and making money, it is their business & choice & LOSS!

Unless, of course, they are perhaps conducting some kind of MORE lucrative "Business" on their phones.

There are two dancers at one of my favorite clubs that I've talked to about this. One is the hardest working stripper I've ever met. She is always working to get LD's or VIP and she tells me that even when its slow she makes $500 to $700 per shift. The other very seldom exerts herself to develop a new client. She sits in the dressing room between stage appearances and relies on regulars to let her know when they're coming in. She frequently goes home with $80 to $100 after a shift. However she has several regulars who spend large and she provides BBBJ & FS in VIP for her regulars. The first never offers extras.
The first is totally self supporting, the second is always broke. I think its a basic work ethic. If you work hard you get rewarded. If you're lazy and sit in your ass you go home broke. Such is life.

Gawker nailed it, at least for some of them.

Well I think sometimes the girls could be nervous (hopefully b/c they new and it dont last long or they wont last long). The ones that been there for a while i guess they might use their intuition (which I doubt anyone know the real success rate with that.)


I guess in the in i dont try to judge because never know what's on anyone minds. But I guess the fact if they remain that way nothing will be in there pockets and they wont be there long.

I believe most of the time, they are just waiting for regulars to show up and if they had worked the floor and got out-and-out rejected each time, why bother working the floor again? Also, at some clubs, essentially, it's your job to walk up to the dancer and ask for a dance, which I'm not fond of.

This is a common problem – sometimes it is dancer specific – sometimes it is club specific.

In some clubs there is a real hustle vibe where you get approached a lot – in some clubs – you can sit there for 2 hours w/o hardly any dancer approaching you even though they look unoccupied.

The reasons why could be as varied as people’s personalities are.

I do recall reading a thread on SW a while back where a dancer actually asked how she could get more customers to approach her. I thought that was weird and that she had it backwards – i.e. it was up to her to approach customers if she wanted more of them. Some of the dancers that replied to her thread said as much (i.e. it’s up to her to seek out the custies) – and other dancers just gave her tips on how to get custies to approach her.

This subject has been discussed on several occasions – a recent similar thread was:

https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=2…

I also started a similar thread a while back:

https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=1…

I’ve posted on other threads that I prefer to be approached by dancers b/c I *assume* if they are approaching me it is b/c they are interested in giving me dances – where if I have to approach them for a dance; they I’m not sure if they really wanted or felt like giving me one even if they do.

Perhaps some dancers may feel the same way – i.e. maybe they think custies get tired of been approached all the time for dances and the dancer thus “assumes” that if the custie is interested in getting a dance from her; then the custie will approach her and let her know?

And another reason added by strip club hound in a 9/4/2013 blogpost.

Questioner complained like OP and concluded girls don't want to work and make $$$. SCH has cited many of the reasons listed above but added this:

"Of course they do [want to make $$$] but let me tell you a reason why some dancers don't approach you.

You walk into the club. Most of the dancers keep an eye on who comes in. You may not notice it but one girl (we'll call her Jasmine) sees you come in and she whispers to Destiny and Ariel, "He's mine." The girls in some clubs take turns and agree not to hit on each other's customers. So Jasmine approaches you but Destiny and Ariel do not. Jasmine will drop by a few times and try to charm you into buying some private dances with her. Destiny and Ariel will walk past you not because they think you're a creep but because Jasmine has first claim on you.

Then I walk into the club. Ariel says, "He's mine" and she goes to work on me. Jasmine doesn't come near me. Destiny doesn't see anyone she can sell so she goes in the back to make calls or she sits down somewhere to talk to other girls.

These understandings vary from club to club. In the one I managed, I tried to encourage the girls not to make these deals permanent. I told them, "If you can't sell the guy in twenty minutes, let another girl have a crack at him." Some girls followed this and some didn't.

In fact, I should say that nothing caused more fights between dancers than when one dancer seemed to be violating the agreements. I had fist fights break out because the customer would flag down a different dancer or just walk up to her or ask the waitress to send her over and the girl who thought she had dibs on him would accuse the dancer of violating the agreement.

I used to sometimes walk out of a club without buying private dances because there was one girl hitting on me and she didn't interest me and the ones who did didn't come near me. I finally learned that I had to somehow approach the girls who didn't come near me. I would usually ask the waitress to send her over or sometimes if she was on stage, I could go up and lay down a good tip in front of her and say "Come see me when you get done here". Then she could approach me without violating the agreement or understanding with another dancer.

In a lot of clubs, they do a promo or lineup every half hour where all the girls go up on stage and then walk down through the club to solicit private dances at a reduced rate. The reason for this is to break down the dancers' claims on individual customers. When you walk in, Jasmine has the exclusive right to try and sell you but it only lasts until the next promo and then any girl can come after you.

Anyway, if you're sitting there and the girl of your dreams isn't approaching you, it may be because she can't until you indicate you want her. Tell the waitress to send her by or tip her on stage and tell her yourself. Sometimes if you want to be more casual about it, you can plot a course where you can go to the men's room and walk past her on your way to or fro. Then when you pass her, give her a smile and say hello or somehow indicate you think she's cute.

Also by the way in some clubs, they have a rule that the girls are not supposed to approach you when you're sitting at the rail and tipping."

It happens in these parts occasionally. I'm pretty sure the Strip Club Hound's reason doesn't apply. I think most of the other reasons mentioned are partial causes. Some are waiting for or recruiting a regular to come in. Some are taking a break/genuinely interested in whatever else they are doing, for example chatting with their friends or playing on their phones. I can think of a few dancers who just don't have the personality to approach customers, either because they are shy or don't want the rejection at that moment, whatever.

Like I said in another thread though, I think its not all them. If the girls look around and see what looks like a bunch of grumpy dudes sitting at tables they are much more inclined to just chill out and wait for a more appealing crowd.

From Papi_Chulo: "Perhaps some dancers may feel the same way – i.e. maybe they think custies get tired of been approached all the time for dances and the dancer thus “assumes” that if the custie is interested in getting a dance from her; then the custie will approach her and let her know?"

This is a good point! And honestly, it may be the case most of the time. I obviously will never approach a dancer I do not want a dance from unless it is to tip her on stage for a song choice. I noticed last night at my favorite club that I have maybe developed a reputation (although I just may be imagining it) for wanting particular girls. I am particular, this is true. And, I had three former and current CFs at the club last night, so I was spending most of my time/money with them and was not approached by anyone else the entire night. I'm OK with that - if I want a girl bad enough I'll tell the waitress to get her for me or I'll talk to her on stage. Last night was weird, though. I actually had about five CFs or former CFs there, as two were there for dayshift and I came in just before the shift change. I felt like I was doing a serious juggling act.

But Papi's point is well taken and probably dead on accurate.

“… If the girls look around and see what looks like a bunch of grumpy dudes sitting at tables they are much more inclined to just chill out and wait for a more appealing crowd …”


This comment made me recall another SC phenomena per se.

I often SC alone and will just sit by myself by the bar and just take in the scene. I tend to be kind of black or white (‘1’ or ‘0’) w.r.t. most things – thus I either don’t talk at all – or I talk like crazy (kinda like my long-winded posts and reviews).

So in most social situations (e.g. SCs) – I will almost always not be the 1st one to strike up a convo. I usually sit there with what I’ve been told is a serious looking face almost as if I was mad. I imagine that perhaps my facial expression and/or body language may make some dancers not want to approach me.

I mention all this crap b/c I’ve noticed that often times I can sit in a SC for a while b4 getting my first approach/dance – but once I start getting dances – and the fact I like variety and don’t stick to just one girl – then it often seems that after the first one or 2 dancers, the flood gates open in terms of dancers approaching me.

Agree that there can be lots of partial causes. Here's another one, surprising (to me, at least, but maybe I"m a dummy). In the past three years, I've had two ATFs who I thought at first were aloof stuck-up bitches, and who both turned out to be shy. One was so shy, I have no idea how she handled dancing each day. In any case, neither girl liked approaching customers, would rather bide their time imbibing liquid courage and hope to be approached by customers, or approach customers with their stripper friends. These girls are prize finds, IMO. The one really shy girl I mentioned would spend hours and hours with me, just because she'd rather do that than go find another guy. I would take her to the VIP just before she had to go on stage (she hated stage, never got used to it), and she would express her gratitude in no uncertain terms. For both girls, the aloof bitch act was kind of like a costume they wore for their own self-protection. Both awesome fun strippers

I get the sense that some of them are just at the club to hang out with their friends and party. They just sit at the bar and let PL's buy them drinks and play around with the other dancers. Perhaps the PL's buying them drinks are tipping too.

"I've had two ATFs who I thought at first were aloof stuck-up bitches, and who both turned out to be shy"

Similar experience. My long-time ATF is actually quite shy. She hates approaching new customers (always comes from behind - never directly) and prefers to work with a friend and asks for doubles. She's close to a 10 and could have made bank in her career if she hadn't come across to many as a stuck up bitch.

I've had similar experiences to subraman and Motörhead. Two of my favorites were pretty shy, and I thought they were kind of stuck up in the beginning because I would tip them every time they went on stage but they would not give me any eye contact and they would barely muster a thanks after their stage set. It just turned out that they were very shy. Thank goodness I didn't give up on them, I've had great times with both of them.

Yes it happens, and it befuddles me as to why. I think the best explanation is that they're content with what their regulars are providing.

PC made a good point about the hustle factor of a club. At the club I've be frequenting the most in the last year or so, the 'rule' is that dancers are not supposed to hustle you when sitting in pervert's row, but are free to mingle with you at the bar or at the tables around the club. Only one or two of the 'over the hill' dancers violate this rule.

What really stumps me at this club, even if you approach her, she still does seem interested in making a sale with zero effort to put on any kind of sales pitch. WTF!

I can see motor's and ranukam's point... however, being shy, while also dancing naked, is a bit of oxymoron IMO.

Yes I see this sometimes. I think it is somewhat because these girls are looking for groups of guys or guys who to them look like "money". They are usually wrong about that although. I often go in a club alone and have a pocket full of money to spend.

I see this quite often in most clubs I have visited, and it has been because of all the points mentioned above. The other thing I have noticed a lot of is dancers waste time sitting for an hour or longer with a large group of customers who are not getting lap dances, often there are three or more dancers tied up at the table. Sometimes it's because of club management, who direct the dancers to large groups. This is one of the reasons I stopped going to Columbus Gold.

At many higher end places, the top earners have regulars that will get them by. They may ask non-regulars if they show overwhelming interest such as tipping $20+, etc. Otherwise, they will rest on their laurels considering everybody else dead weight.
I don't attend one club enough to be the go to regular and don't always want to be the over eager new guy, so I just approach them. In fact, I generally make the first move as the frequent askers tend to be the less visually attractive or more annoying dancers.

"I will take your girl, your money and then your life."

I've been told by quite a few dancers that if they get nothing but rejection they will effectively shut down and not bother getting up and seeking any more dances because they don't want to hear another "no". It's pretty dumb considering that new customers are walking in all of the time but they aren't giving them a chance because the previous customers turned them down.

Because we are slobbering horndogs, stripping is the one sales job where you can still eek out a living even if you have zero aptitude for sales.

We can't solve the problem, but we can do a couple things that will put a dent in it. Like going up and asking for a dance if the dancer is not busy. And just smiling and saying "no thanks" when we don't want a dance from her now or later.

Ever notice that when you're late to a thread, everyone else has already mirrored your sentiment?

Lol yes, Slick. But it does save the late comers a lot of typing!

@SCLVR-Ain't that the truth.

I am not a regular at any club.

Whenever I see a choice dancer displaying this sort of behaviour I thrust myself forward into her space like a relentless battering ram. Whether she is shy, lazy, or waiting for a regular matters not a whit to me.

I have no trouble dealing with being rejected, some dancer will always respond willingly to my advances.

@ londonguy. The airport you want to fly into is hearts field douglas air lines designation ATL

w.r.t. most businesses or organizations; they say it starts at the top.

I certainly believe this to also be true w.r.t. SCs – good owners/management makes it better for the custies and the dancers.

I noticed the following two comments on two different reviews of Ebonny Inn in Maryland:

“… There seems to be a rule for the dancers to either be onn the dance floor or giving lap/walldances. No Women sitting around on their phones …”

“… Margaret came out and got on the dancers about making some money -- she said "no lap in the place should be empty" ..”


We’ve all been to clubs where the dancers sit around not doing shit or w/ their faces buried in their phones as if it was a pile of cocaine – but now that I think about it – I have been to many clubs where the girls always seem to be circulating around and now that I think about it I also never even see the girls in these clubs w/ a cell in their hands – no doubt this is probably due to management and these clubs often tend to be the ones that offer the best experience/service IME.

Most of us don’t know what goes on behind the scenes at to what rules management exerts on the dancers; but I was @ a mixed mid-level SC on Fr night where the DJ announced a 2-for-1 and then subsequently said “if you are not walking around asking you *will* be charged” – I assume the DJ meant the dancers would get charged the cost of the dance ($5 of the $25 price) if they were not even trying to sell one (i.e. approaching custies for one).

As guys we are use to be being shot down, but strippers are the only females who routinely experience it.

i would say that the more that i dance, the more often that customers approach me for dances. sometimes i dont ask for lap dances after a stage set because i have a customer already waiting for lap dances. sometimes i do honestly get overwhelmed when a lot of guys want lap dances all in a row, and then i go on stage afterwards .. and sometimes i do just want a break. i know its wrong but i have sought out a moment to myself instead of approaching customers, not because i didnt want $ but mostly because i was feeling talked out from previous customers, or getting tired of dancing on stage for no one and feeling discouraged to work the floor. sometimes a moment alone is just time to recharge my personal self battery. that said i do attempt to introduce myself to everyone atleast once. also sometimes im not aware of who is wiling to spend and who just wants to BS ...

From my experience travelling to clubs around the country, this seems to be more prevalent at the non alcohol clubs, and specifically mlst of the Cali (SF and LA) clubs. There's very little of the party vibe in these places, so girls really don't drink and socialize with customers, and tend to keep to themselves or their phones. They do make the occasional circuit around the club but ultimately end up on their butts once again using their phones. I'm used to this by now.

If yiu want a place where they come up to you, try any of the large Vegas clubs, though first practice your rejection/excuse lines!

@ trixxie,

You make some good points and it is understandable that dancers need a break from time to time during their shift.

What most custies complain about w.r.t. dancers not approaching customers is when the majority of dancers just stand around talking to themselves or with their noses buried in their cell phones and not paying any attention to the custies – is not the one particular dancer who’s on her ass for 15 mins or so; it’s when most dancers are on their ass the whole time the custie is in the club.

"There's very little of the party vibe in these places, so girls really don't drink and socialize with customers."

Lol - from what I'm told there is more alcohol in nude club dressing rooms than in the topless joints, at least in LA/COI.

Yes Papi you are correct, I have seen this behavior. When I danced at Jiggles an underage juice bar packed with about 30 dancers I saw several girls not approach customers. I think it is out of immaturity, or a blend of immaturity and lack of confidence or knowledge of how to "hustle" or "play the game." I see this as bad salemanship also. Another similar bad sales technique is when one girl acts so friendly with another dancer purposefully preventing the other dancer from making $. If you ever see a dancer sitting at another girl's set try your best to discourage it. Ive had dancers sit at my stage set on their cell phones knowing that they could sit anywhere else but when they sit at my stage they affect my $ potential.

Do not like dancers who hustle like a mobster.

Do not like dancers who are Black Belts.

Do not like dancers who just ask and leave.

I've actually approached a dancer who was having a bad night. And it turned out one of those unforgettable nights.

It's real, dancers are not perfect, one is hustling so bad you can see adrenaline squirting out of the tear ducts, another dancer can be sooooo laid back she will just sit down and do the prayer-phone thing.

One night I did approach this dancer who was staring at the void, sat there just talking like she was. Basically mirroring what what she was doing, looking away and then looking back staring at her eyes.

Twenty to thirty minutes of chit-chat later, which is actually to my advantage, my hands were already getting busy.

Awesome experience.