tuscl

"So, what do you do?"

Saturday, September 1, 2012 2:28 PM
I get this question from dancers all the time, so I assume everyone else does too. How many of you tell the dancer your actual job? For a while I had been able to get away with "I'm just a student." I'm a bit too old to get away with that now, but still want to stay as general and anonymous as possible. What do the rest of you tell dancers when asked this question?

53 comments

  • dtek
    •
    12 years ago
    I've gotten laughs when I tell 'em I'm an architect.
  • vincemichaels
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell them the truth.
  • shadowcat
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell them I do strip club reviews for TUSCL. Actually I tell them the truth. Retired and if they ask from what, I tell them. No big deal.
  • motorhead
    •
    12 years ago
    "I tell them the truth." I don't. I tell them "You can't handle the truth"
  • vincemichaels
    •
    12 years ago
    True, dat, motorhead, but do I care. No. Like shadowcat, it's no big deal to me.
  • londonguy
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell them the truth 99% of the time, the times I don't is when they are annoying me or I feel like pulling their chain.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    12 years ago
    I also tell the truth, when I answer at all. If the question is as general as the one you posed, I say something like "I go to strip clubs and grope naked women."
  • motorhead
    •
    12 years ago
    I don't lie - but I'm pretty vague. The way I look at it - its pretty tough to explain *exactly* what I do to someone 30 years younger than me, often uneducated, and whose life experiences rarely extend beyond strip clubs, hip hop music, and "Keeping Up With the Kardashians". So I usually say something generic like "engineer" or "accountant". Not really what I am, but a component of what I do.
  • jackslash
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell them I'm a CPI: Certified Pussy Inspector.
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell them my job is to irritate Dougster! LMAO
  • Corvus
    •
    12 years ago
    @Jackslash--CPI! LOL I tell dancers the truth "I'm a consultant". But from now on I will probably tell them I'm a CPI.
  • rickdugan
    •
    12 years ago
    I also tell them the truth. It is no state secret and I won't be running for office anytime soon, so I really don't care if they know.
  • Ironcat
    •
    12 years ago
    I never tell them the truth. I always lie - lie big. I tell them I'm a retired NFL player or a retired astronaut. Some act as if they believe it, some don't. I figure the dancer's name isn't really "Destiny" or "Fantasia" so why should I be honest. Besides, if they are going to pretend they are enjoying dry humping me in the VIP why can't I pretend to "do" something that I don't really do.
  • Stiletto25
    •
    12 years ago
    Most are just trying to make conversation. Youre not going to be singled out because of what you do for a living. Many dancers expect a customer to lie anyways. I dont care if you're unemployed, as long as you have money to spend.
  • lopaw
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell them the truth, too. Why lie?
  • old_doc
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell them the truth, I am a physician. Some believe it; some don't. Turns out, according to some dancers I have talked with, most of the men who lie claim to be either a lawyer or a doctor.
  • lopaw
    •
    12 years ago
    @dtek - do you also tell them that your name is Art Vandelay? (if you're not a Seinfeld fan this will have no meaning to you ;-) )
  • jester214
    •
    12 years ago
    @lopaw I always preferred H.E. Pennypacker, but have used both in certain (non-club) situations :)
  • jester214
    •
    12 years ago
    Sometimes I tell them the truth, sometimes I make something up, sometimes I'm just vague... Kinda depends on the mood I am and where I am. On occasion I've told them I'm a 'Certified Cocksman' which confuses more than it doesn't.
  • GoVikings
    •
    12 years ago
    Yeah, I get this question a lot. I just tell them the truth. I'm a student and I work part time. Don't see what the harm would be in telling them what you do for a living.
  • hard10
    •
    12 years ago
    I'm an African love pimp.
  • shadowcat
    •
    12 years ago
    Some times I tell them that I am not a gynaecologist but I will take a look. :)
  • JohnBuford
    •
    12 years ago
    Poet Laureate,Chess Grandmaster,Retired boxer,History Professor,Nuclear physicist,Fighter Pilot and Lumberjack are some of the things I've said over the years.
  • SuperDude
    •
    12 years ago
    Magazine writer, political consultant, business advisor, TV producer--all lies.
  • SuperDude
    •
    12 years ago
    Magazine writer, political consultant, business advisor, TV producer--all lies.
  • farmerart
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell the truth; but 'entrepreneur' does not seem to be in many dancers' vocabularies. It would be even worse if I said 'seismic data interpretation leading to crude oil and natural gas exploration and production'.
  • mmdv26
    •
    12 years ago
    I once told a dancer that I was vice-president of the company that makes $20 bills for the U.S. government. Promised to bring her some free samples next time I was in.
  • boomersooner
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell them I'm a fullonrapist. (if you don't watch it's always sunny you wont get this)
  • brainiac
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell them the truth--accountant--and joke about how that response never generates a follow-up question.
  • DandyDan
    •
    12 years ago
    I usually tell them the truth, which is I work for a pharmaceutical distribution company, and sometimes, the next question is whether I can steal some painkillers for them, or whatever their drug of choice is. Acutally, I do have access to those areas, but it ain't like I'm ever going to risk my job for them. Sometimes, however, if I'm out of town, I just lie, making something up on the spot. To be honest, I'm not sure anyone really cares.
  • motorhead
    •
    12 years ago
    "I usually tell them the truth, which is I work for a pharmaceutical distribution company" DandyDan, some of the finest looking babes I've seen have been pharmaceutical sales reps. If I had your job, I'd be bangin' my co-workers not going to strip clubs. :)
  • steve229
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell her to take a guess. Whatever she says, I reply "good guess" and go with that.
  • smokeshopjoe
    •
    12 years ago
    @Motorhead My dad and Brother are both in that feild. I can say honestly You are far better off banging strippers, Lady pharm reps are some of the most fucked up people I have ever met in my life and I used to deal with meth heads on a daily basis. At least you know where the bullshit lies with the strippers. Lady pharm reps will chew you up and shit on your dead corps if it will further their career.
  • smokeshopjoe
    •
    12 years ago
    When I worked at the smoke shop fuck yes I told them. Now I tell them the truth I am unemployed the Wannadance girls when they get wind fuck off. And I will use it to make the annoying ones go away.
  • gatorfan
    •
    12 years ago
    Best answer: YOU
  • dtek
    •
    12 years ago
    @lopaw: Got it in one. Actually, the ones who laugh usually ask if my name is Art. ;-)
  • occurious
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell them the truth but I simplify it. I just say I work with computers. Its too complex to explain exactly what I do with the internet to someone who is just making polite conversation.
  • bluemonday
    •
    12 years ago
    i tell them i work in construction, but just look after the money (which is the truth), i then say "obviously, as you can tell by these hands"... depends how far those hands get, if they then get to look after any money too ?
  • sharkhunter
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell them the truth but go generic on my answer. 98 percent of the time I don't get asked to be more specific. This answer is easy for me. Now if they ask me what I do to have fun and haven't figured out that I'm here at the strip club to have fun, then I think of something else to say other than go visit strip clubs. I once answered what do you do for fun by saying I visit strip clubs and she didn't seem to like that answer.
  • erik270
    •
    12 years ago
    I always tell the truth, mostly because I am not going to waste time and attention trying to keep a lie going. They are just making conversation, so I start vague, "I'm in software." Sometimes, they will ask for more details but rarely. Exactly once, a dancer started in with very detailed questions about electrical engineering in the middle of a lap dance. She had to be an EE student or out of work engineer since she was getting very specific.
  • big_d_2011
    •
    12 years ago
    If I know I am out of town I will tel them the truth. I turn it around sometimes and ask them what they think I do. Other times I will say that we can talk about anything but my job. What is weird is that I will tell them my real name but not my job.
  • Player11
    •
    12 years ago
    I simply tell them the truth. I work in accounting (Financial Manager with MS in Accounting) and manage my online rare coin business (plus I set up at shows). I have a business card with my stage name (security reasons), business name (DBA), which outlines what I do above. I have my cell number and email address on it. I use it at both coin shows and strip clubs. I do not put where I work or have home phone or street address on it.
  • canny
    •
    12 years ago
    I tell the truth, I do computer programming. If they ask more I tell them that I work from home, which is also true. I get to work in shorts and a tshirt which keeps the conversation going.
  • Bishop4224
    •
    12 years ago
    I just tell them I'm a CPA, which I am, and don't get any more specific than that. It's more of a ice breaking question than anything so I feel no real need to lie.
  • stmike
    •
    12 years ago
    either a care flight helicopter pilot, a "c-grade" actor (stormtrooper in star wars 2 & 3), DEA agent, or photographer (National Geographic or ITC)
  • Dougster
    •
    12 years ago
    I just tell them the truth. I imagine they are like the godfather here and "don't care what anyone does for a living" because, hey, what do they do? They might be trying to get a sense of where you at in terms of money, but, hey, guys lie so straight ou asking will only reveal so much information. Plus what about the under-employed lonely looking for love PL? He might not earn much, but still be willing to blow a huge % of it on strippers, or dip into his savings. My sense from talking to whores is that back in the subprime days some guys were even putting mortgages on their houses to fuel their whore mongering. At the other end a high paying job is no guarantee that the guy is going to be imprudent in "wasting" it on whores. Your answer might matter a bit but she is going to weigh it against your other behavior if she cares about whether or not you are a good long term income source.
  • Clubber
    •
    12 years ago
    Usually just say I deal with computers and such, but stay vague. Not a good idea to spread around what I do to the general population.
  • jerikson40
    •
    12 years ago
    Y'know, it's really painful to watch you guys trying to be funny. Although the "Art Vandelay" from lopaw was pretty funny. Gotta remember that, I'll use it. Anyway, it's really, REALLY bad form for a dancer to ask customers stuff like that. I can't stand getting grilled by a stripper. Yeah, they think it's harmless, and they're just trying to make small talk. But geez, at least ask fun stuff, not serious shit we have to come up with answers for. Sometimes I feel like I'm being interviewed for a job. And there are times when the dancer actually starts psycho-analyzing me, or sizing up the kind of person I am. Are you freakin' kidding me? I once had a dancer asking me kinds of questions, and telling me what kind of person I am, and finally when she asked me my sign and I told her, she said some insane shit like "oh, you're one of THOSE" and got up and left. If you're gonna make small talk, don't ask our occupation, marital status, where we live, what kind of girls we like (geesus, if that's not the freakin' stupidest question...), and on and on with the same inane crap. If you're gonna ask stuff, ask good stuff. Like "You want me to make you cum, baby?" or whisper in our ear "Baby, you like fucking in public?" or "Should I put on a black fishnet bodystocking, or would you prefer a schoolgirl outfit?". Y'know, stuff like that. Use your freakin' imagination, don't repeat the same crap over and over and put us on the spot.
  • jerikson40
    •
    12 years ago
    Oh, and let me ammend my comments a bit to cover you TUSCL regulars, the ones who have ATF's they sit with all shift...y'know, those of you who pay the girls to like you.... If a stripper is sitting with one of you guys, she can ask stuff like "will you pay my rent this month" or "will you walk my dog while I go out with my boyfriend?"
  • JuiceBox69
    •
    12 years ago
    I always tell them I'm a bagger at a local grocery store
  • BigPoppa99
    •
    10 years ago
    ;) "If I told you, I would have to..."...... "Your dad's friend!" "WHAT, YOU A COP?!" 'SORRY, I DON'T SPEAK ANY ENGLISH" "TIGER WOODS!" "YOU BABY, I DO YOU."... "WOMEN" the list is never ending...........
  • StPaul101
    •
    10 years ago
    I just tell them the truth, but Ive always wanted to say I work at a large Hospital and I'm in charge of all new nurse hires,. also that we are looking for some new nurses.
  • Subraman
    •
    10 years ago
    I tell them what business I'm in, and that's usually enough. If they asked what company, I'd tell them the name of a different company that's in the same business as me. But I don't think I've been asked what company ... at least until I knew a girl very well, well enough not to mind telling her the truth
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