My ATF just dumped me.

What do you want? All the advice from us doesn't mean shit. We aren't you.

Bitches be crazy! They're all the same, whether strippers or not. It makes absolutely no sense for your ATF to be mad. I mean, you don't get mad when she gives other guys lap dances, do you? About the only thing you can do is find another dancer you like in the club and spend your money on her. Then the bitch may regret what she did.

Georg, I'm not looking for advice. Not really sure what I want. Just wanted to share my experience, I guess.

My advice never have an atf. Spred the wealth to all girls at the club

What my fellow Jack said. Really? Were you forcing her to be exclusive to you too or was she giving other guys laps? Gives a whole new meaning to a GFE.

Sorry that happened. I guess she thought the night would be just for her.

Your first mistake was getting a private dance in the same club..OF COURSE she was gonna find out. Some other dancer probably ratted you out, if not the one you got the dace from! They be some crazy bitches at times!!!

Well, in that case, I'm with jackslash. :) You don't owe her shit. She apparently doesn't want your money, so that's pretty simple. Dnt give it to her. :)

When I "cheated" on my ATF she told me I better start bringing condoms bc she will not give BBBJ any more since I hook up with "hoes"

On the other hand, stiletto has a point. She might have been upset that it wasn't all about her. Doesn't excuse going off on you, but people (not just strippers and women) aren't always rational when they're upset.

Yeah, stiletto, you may be right. Neither one of us had any illusions of exclusivity, but it's just sad that our good times ended this way.

And, I agree I don't owe her anything. I apologized, and I was sincere. I hope that she cools off, but I'm prepared to chalk it up to a learning experience either way.

I don't know, but I suspect that there was more to it than you simply getting a couple of lapdances from someone else, especially since she was already trying to steer you back into the club rather than meet you for your normal pre-shift meetup. These things always have a shelf life anyway. Perhaps she wasn't happy with the arrangement anymore. Who knows? Trying to figure out what drives some of these girls is an exercise in futility.

I guess you'll just have to make another friend.

I'm with Jackslash on this one. Also, you should develop more than one fave at the same club. I do. It works out fine. It also lets the dancers know that they have competition right at their same club.

Another thought--in a week you former ATF could change her mind. As soon as she realizes you're spending money on other dancers, she may rethink her actions.

I've done this my old atf joes ! Just take some time off and come back.....its just like civis......she will miss you and you her ....then you guys can kiss and make up.....good luck man

I agree with rickdugan. If she had already moved from OTC to ITC she was going to suggest cooling it anyway. Your dances with the competition just gave her a public excuse for doing it.

Crap like this is why I hate working with women.....although I also agree with GMS that people in general can be pretty wacked on any given day under the right set of circumstances - women in general terms seem to be really, really good at it. Even me.

mrs m00tpoint

@joesparty- I'm going to bet that she will get over it. Dancers are funny and she may have just freaked. Give her a couple weeks and she'll probably try to be close to you again. I guarantee she did want your full attention though, which is why she took things that far, maybe too far.

I got really mad at a customer one time. I wrote him off completely. Then I went home and slept on it a few nights and realized in the whole scheme of things it could have been worse. I moved on and didn't hold a grudge. Luckily we took eachother back.

Forget her and find someone else. You don't need that shit. You are spending the money, you can get a couple of dances from whomever you want.

Ideal arrangement: Real world = world where emotions fuck things up; strip club world = world where emotions don't fuck things up.

Usual arrangement: Real world = world where things are kind of fucked up or even pretty fucked up, and emotions are one of the reasons things are fucked up, but there are plenty of other reasons things get fucked up, too; strip club world = world where things are equally fucked up, but not because of fucked up emotions unless you let your emotions get fucked up, and then fucked-up emotions becomes one of the reasons that you let other things in strip club world get fucked up, too.

She'll take you back--at a 20% markup.

I suspect someone is not telling us the whole story. I would put the dancer in her place and might avoid her even if she asked for dances if she acted like that more than one night (it is often a week or two before I see dancers again).

In my opinion, this is why you never get attached to one dancer or favorite. You are giving into her and letting her run the show. This is not the way it should be. You're not married to her. It's your money. She's not even your girlfriend. She may pretend in the club but she is not. Well you could give into her but let her know you have other favorites so losing one favorite is just her loss. On the other hand maybe we aren't getting anywhere close to the full story and she has a good reason to be ticked off, that is until her rent or car payment or whatever is due and she needs money. Maybe she enjoys power over the guy and is enjoying making him feel punished. In that case he is enjoying a real girlfriend experience.

There have been two dancers in my life that I called my ATFs. They both stood me up for dinner, refused to answer my phone calls and were never seen at the club again.

I hurts but only for a little while. Just get back on the horse. Will there ever be a third? Who knows.

Of course I do remember a couple of 10's working in one club and they only asked me for dances a couple of times in a few months and they didn't hardly ever bother me again. Then they found work elsewhere. I didn't want to pay their prices they wanted for dances and I didn't. I didn't regret it at all. One of them kept doing dances close to the spot where I was getting dances though. She scared one guy doing a running jump and backflip with her head landing near his crotch on the sofa. She told him not to move before she did it. Lol.

I had one favorite get so pissed off at me that she quit the club because she knew I would be there. She came back after 3 months acting like nothing changed.

Another favorite one night wanted to leave early with me but the manager told her she needed to stay until closing. I wanted to go. I had to get up for work in the morning. Anyway she got pissed off at the manager especially after the manager told her if she left early, don't come back. She told me let's go. It was 30 minutes until closing. She was pissed off at the manager. She said she worked there faithfully for 2 years and that was how she was treated.

Another dancer was pissed off at me for no good reason. Something about spending too much time with another dancer. She reasoned I must be sleeping with her too. Dancers can be crazy. After she calmed down the next time I saw her, she confided with me that she had been stalking me the whole time I was in the club that night watching me everywhere except the restroom. Then she kept making stupid comments periodically I guess believing she was boosting my ego. I thought her comments were stupid. She was really full of it.

Most of the time favorites are very friendly. Exceptions listed above.

I just remembered, one favorite in one club got so desparate she picked my pocket. I was ticked off at her. Managed to get her fired. Informed management at another club she was working at without her even knowing it was me who caught her. She never even knew I caught her. I had avoided a direct confrontation with her. In hind site, I think she was ticked off that she only managed to steal about $40 from me. The wad of money in my front pocket was nothing but ones. I stayed ticked off at her for about a year, and then when I found the third strip club she was working at and she seemed happy to see me, I actually agreed to a table dance and didn't tell the management about her past.

I heard that seeing a nice pair of tits and ass can make guys act irrational, or anything of great beauty that is. I believe that.

Obviously there could be several explainations here... but there's no need to over think it.

As Rick and m00tpoint said, She was obviously already pulling back with the going from OTC to ITC. She was already tired of the arangement or her bf wanted her to end your arangement, or whatever, and she just used it as a excuse to pull the plug.

Unfortunately it doesn't leave you with any good options that I can think of.

I had a similar experience with my xATF, but she was more gentle about it.

I would tend to think rickdugan is on the right track. Relationships with strippers definitely have a shelf life no matter how good it is.

There also could be simple explanations like she just had a whale of a bad day and your thing was the last straw.

If you really dig her I'd let the situation cool for a bit, approach her again later and if she shuts you down move on and don't look back. There WILL be others man.

Let things cool down for a few days, then ask her if she'd like to try that convo again. If she goes off on you again, then find somebody else. I'll bet she'd like to repair the damage tho.

Better she dumped you than the reverse, in my experience.

smh, If you want her back just make an offer she can't refuse, or wait it out for her to want your company again. My psycho was on and off like that, one minute she hated me next minute she was all over me. The thing was, after she stopped paying me attention I quickly moved on. Strip clubs are funny like that.

Oh, I can't take another heartache Though you say you're my friend, I'm at my wits end You say your love is bona fide But that don't coincide with the things that you do And when I ask you to be nice, you say

You gotta be Cruel to be kind in the right measure Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign Cruel to be kind means that I love you Baby, you gotta be cruel to be kind

Jparty, or as Gronk would say..."yo soy fiesta"....

Given the situation you describe, it's clear you both had a pretty good thing. An ATF can be a great thing. You know it, she knows it. IMO, this is worth salvaging. Here's what I would do (and even I'm not sure if this is the maddog or romeo side of me) - I'd wait until in and around Valentine's Day and then I'd do some things for her (you know the whole V Day bit). Send her Flowers to the club, etc. But clearly let her know (if this be true) that upon much reflection there's noone else you want to spend time with - just her. And arrange a club Valentine's Day or thereabouts Night for her....Let her know how much you want this, if you do....She just might respond favorably IMO....

You shouldn't feel regret over this one. Until she stops dancing for others, she doesn't have the right to hold you to a different standard. Exclusivity shouldn't be anywhere near a strip club, imho. That's reserved for a committed relationship, which doesn't happen in a club.

Really ATF's wouldn't freak if you get dances from another woman. If you are really, for lack of a better term, faithful to her, she would know you would always come back to her. That she reacted that way shows a lot of insecurity.

Or, maybe she's really "forgetful." Give her another chance after a cooling-off period. If she's still irrational about it, you can probably find someone better and less crazy.

I have been known to tell a dancer that I wouldn't be there in the first place if I was able to stick with one woman only.

"All of life is high school." Do not confuse an ATF with "going steady."

My first ATF would get over to me as quickly as she could when I stepped in the club. I liked that and hated that at the same time. She almost always danced for me first that way. One time she even chased away another nice new dancer whom I was already talking to at my table. I figured my ATF must be the head dancer bitch as well able to get all other dancers in line. I ended up trying to visit the club sometimes when I thought she wasn't working. I enjoyed the extra freedom when she was gone. A couple of times I swear someone must have called her because she showed up about an hour later. The best way to describe the feeling would be like arriving home from work ready to relax and there is a beaming happy puppy or small dog really happy to see you.

And yes she wanted a treat or dances from me.

Very interesting posts! I have had a very long relationship with my ATF inside and outside of the club. She can be loving one day and angry and jealous the next. I have to remind myself that I am her employer, and not the other way around! She got mad at me recently, and I stopped all contact for a while. During this period of time, I met a new ATF at another club. The new one is more open, and comes with no drama. My old ATF starts calling and textIngr like crazy. We hooked up for free outside the club. I will now always keep the ball in my court! Always try to have at least 2 ATFs. Believe me, they bullshit us like crazy, so you can do the same!!

Our maybee your not seeing it right ! Maybee you dumpt her ass ! Thank about it !

Very true! Guys, as long as you hold the money, you hold the power. Even if a stripper does really like you, they tend to view life and everything that surrounds it with a money tag attached. Keep your pimp hand strong LOL, and only spend when you need to, and withhold it when you have to. I have gotten amazing results with this. Otherwise, you have all of the headaches of a girlfriend, while this woman never really is your girlfriend. Also, it really may pay to have another ATF in another club, or you will continue to have lovely stripper drama!!

I agree with with Stenton1. For regulars with favorites, the club relationship can become complicated. I recently had a surprisingly bad experience with a stripper that I have know for a long time and have taken extremely good care of. When I was leaving I paid her what was owed and she demanded 33% more. I didn't want to argue so I paid her what she wanted, but explained that she was wrong. I felt she took advantage. A few days later she called to apologize and ask me to forgive her, she did not offer to refund the money. I did forgive her, but I'm not going to continue to be her customer. Her lesson: this is going to cost her $$$$'s and she will not be happy when I get dances from someone else. My lesson; no more ATF, variety is the spice of life.

Pimp smack that bitch ! They way ik smaked tinna ! Bitch was rolling down a river ! Lol !