Better to ask or be asked

I probably have less experience than you, but I prefer to just ask myself. Keep in mind that some clubs convince dancers not to ask for VIP so much as to not seem "too pushy". I appreciate the interaction of being seduced into getting a dance. It can become annoying if done a few too many times. I mentally pick out 2-3 dancers from the crowd and then ask myself how much I want to spend tonight (same reasons as you).

Its true that theres a different psychology at play if shes trying to sell you a dance vs. you just asking to buy one.
But the problem is, if you didnt discuss things beforehand, once you agreed to the dance, all she has to do is dance.
You could get good mileage if she takes her work seriously, or if she wants you as a long term customer
But if you said yes to a dance that might be all she provides

I think this is a topic where you're going to have diametrically opposed viewpoints.

I usually ask them. If they give me a good dance I ask if they'd like to go to the room and if they say yes give them the number and specify that it's for them. I try to know typical prices for the club before I do so & I offer what I think is a fair price & what I'm willing to pay. I don't get into exactly what we're going to do, especially here in south Florida.

I find the quality of the dance, which is more about being responsive and interactive than it is about being permissive, is a much better indicator of their performance in the room than any sort of silly games to get leverage. The percentage of dancers who I find attractive and suitable to my style of entertainment is so low, I'm not gonna risk one getting away over some silly attempt to gain leverage over her. I'd rather engage in a fair transaction in which both of us are getting what we want.

In my experience, if you're talking about south Florida clubs, particularly Pompano where you're one review is, getting "leverage" by playing the field is pointless at best and most likely counterproductive.

Pulling shit like that on girls who are cultivating regulars will have the opposite of the intended effect. Those girls are more likely to go the extra mile when they see a potential regular, if you're playing the field and spreading your money around it's not worth the extra effort. Very few are going to engage in price wars, so they're not gonna cut you a deal either. But they might latch on to another customer or have a regular come in, and you'll never see them again.

For the ones who are looking to fleece a tourist, they're often not gonna bother to come back at all. They're gonna shoot their shot in the first encounter and if they miss, they'll move on to the next target. If there aren't other targets, they'd mostly rather sit in the corner chit chatting with their friends than make another run at the same person. If they do come back, you're not likely to get above average service from them anyway.

For the ones who are mechanical, that's simply what they are. The reason they're that way varies, but the result stays much the same. They don't know or don't care enough to more than hop on and bounce or bend over and present. They're typically the biggest hagglers. I don't generally haggle and I don't typically intentionally wait to be ask, so I can't compare directly. But these are the girls that will come out with a number, then drop it when you say no. Or they'll counter if you throw out a number. I don't know if its the haggling that leads to a mechanical performance or the ones who are mechanical performers that tend to haggle, but it rarely works out well for me. These are also the ones who are likely to come back, half the time with no recollection that they just interacted with you less than an hour ago, so I don't know how much leverage you're really gaining.

Just ask the girl you're interested in. Its that simple

Hoes should always be asking.

@dolfan really good post, I wonder to what degree I get offered because I am dressed well and very clearly on business trips for most of my visits

Immaterial if they bring up VIP first or if you do. If you wait to be asked you may miss your opportunity with a busy/popular dancer, and there's usually good reason why they are busy and popular

Rhetorically speaking it is better to go into the dance with a motivated seller vs. the position of you being a motivated buyer. As a rule, I don't buy VIP session without a proven satisfactory basic dance test drive.

I like to be approached, in part because I like to hang around a bit and get a feel for the place. I tip those dancers i like and then if they approach we chat and I look for a good vibe.
Since I'm not looking for heavy extras, this has worked well for me.

I havent been able to find a trend based on them asking you vs you asking them.

Ive met chicas very aggressive in selling dances, who were very low mileage, very strict rules.
Ive met a chica who was aggressive and also high mileage. Otc available but wanted too much
Ive met a chica who didn’t approach anyone and was very poor mileage.
A chica who didnt approach anyone, i only got one dance with, and was able to easily get otc

Why not just approach the girls you like or call them over?

A big reason that dancers don't approach is if the club will fire them or charge them money for not working a certain times. It's common for sex workers to feel some degree of shame/humiliation about the work. If you can only stand 15 hours a week of that, and you're forced to be in the club 20 hours a week, you'll be sitting around in the club for 5 hours a week. That's why it's best to say something like you'd like a dance whenever she's ready. It's appreciated if you signal you're willing to be patient.

We all differ in how easily we can shrug it off when somebody's an asshole to us. Strippers who can't shrug it off as easily are more inclined to hang back with customers they don't know. If you approach them, and are pleasant and polite, they'll appreciate it.

Knowing the above, I don't ask or accept an offer for a manager or bouncer to get a stripper for me.

@talent The topic of dress being a stripper magnet comes up here often too, and it's another one in which opinions vary. I notice a different type of stripper typically approaches me when I'm dressed in business attire vs my typical casual threads. But I don't notice more or better attention.

I'm of the belief that strippers, like anyone else, are a bit prone to pre-judge people based on their appearance. But, I don't think its a strong effect and I don't think it aligns tightly with "dressing nice" especially as it relates to business attire. I think strippers have a type, not so much in terms of who they like but rather in terms of what customers they've had the best luck with previously. That may be a guy in a suit for one customer, an older dude in some new balances, a young guy wearing the latest trendy shit, or whatever. They seem to have a type of guy they think doesn't usually like them too. The same appearance may be a green light and a red flag concurrently, resulting in a change in type of who you attract but not so much the volume.

I think ibb's point is valid too. There was another thread where it was mentioned that strippers often have to work shifts of a certain length or work less busy shifts, that combined with the emotional cost of rejection may very well lead what is otherwise a very motivated stripper not to be the one to ask for a dance/room/whatever.

It all leads to the same conclusion, any marginal benefit you may realize from only buying from dances who ask you is likely overshadowed by the opportunity cost of missing out on those who didn't ask for a reason other than lack of willingness to perform.

That doesn't mean I recommend clinging onto the first cute girl you see, I'm just saying I think being proactive leads to overall better results than being passive.

I prefer to be approached. I find it a useful filter. Although I am finding that no one approaches me anymore. Guess I am THAT repulsive.

To attract dancers, I have the most success dressing like Mr. Monopoly, complete with top hat, cane, and monocle, and wads of greenbacks bulging out of my pockets.

I dont think clothes atract dancers. They just help them pigeon hole a customer. like cops and narcs are obvious.