WORST THING A STRIPPER EVER TOLD YOU

That her roommate - also a dancer at the same club - had just committed suicide.

that she has a big wide pussy easy for me to slide into

I go into the private room with one of my regulars. Just as we get ready to start the dance, she tells me that another dancer's (her friend, and another regular of mine)father died last night. Really put a downer on our session. Hard to concentrate on a hottie trying to TCB thinking about that.

The worst ones are when they tell you about how they are dancing to support relatives (or themselves) with some terrible illness. Cancer, MS, some brittle bone disease are three of the worst I've heard.

She loves me, she really does. SS, totally.

That the activity in which I was attempting to engage would cost an additional XXX dollars.

"I'm better than her!" Go away.

"Did I mention I have a crazy brother who's a gun nut and just got out of prison?" This, after I just gave her my number... (Note to self - get a Google number!)

My ATF telling me she was pregnant.

"I have to stop seeing you. My new boyfriend wants me to stop fucking anybody else."

"What's with all these ingrown hairs on my legs?" (As she's picking at them.)

"I'm pregnant. I think it's yours." That one played out kind of funny, seeing as how I've been shooting blanks since she was in grade school...

After quiting the business, a dancer returned and told me that she was only going to work long enough to pay for an abortion.

A dancer told me a dancer has herpes and AIDS while the dancer was onstage! I've heard stories gals told me that customers have said... One customer wanted a golden shower in his mouth.

Begging me for a dance after I said no because she needed a couple hundred more dollars to buy a casket to bury her mother in.

Does that mean you have to pay her child support Clubber :-) ??

We just sat down at a restaurant early on an OTC date and she told me her boyfriend just gave her herpes.

"I'm pregnant. I think it's yours."

People Always Told Me Be Careful Of What You Do
And Don't Go Around Breaking Young Girls' Hearts
And Mother Always Told Me Be Careful Of Who You Love
And Be Careful Of What You Do 'Cause The Lie Becomes The Truth

Billie Jean Is Not My Lover
She's Just A Girl Who Claims That I Am The One
But The Kid Is Not My Son
She Says I Am The One, But The Kid Is Not My Son

lol gmd

well not really the worst thing, but a dancer told me that doc holiday is really a faggot troll, haha

Had a dancer start and then pause and start talking about problems at home. Tears started, she dismounted and spent the rest of the song talking about her problems. When the song ended, she asked if I'd like another dance (Not - let's go to a table and talk, or what can you do to help, just anoher $25 encounter)

She was going to get evicted from her apartment tomorrow, if she didn't come up with about $400. today. She wanted me to "loan" her the $400. I asked her, instead, if I came in and got $400. from her in lap dances, would that help as well. She said yes. I decided to split it half and half. I had already "loaned" her money a few times and of course, being a stripper, she had not repaid any of it. So I thought, "I'll get $200. in dances from her and 'loan' her the other $200." I should have just said, "You've been evicted before. You can handle it." But, like the sucker I used to be, I got $200. in lap dances and I still "loaned" her the other $200. This stripper now owes me the $200. plus all that I "loaned" her previously, and she hasn't been seen in three years. (I know there was a thread a while back about the "merits" of loaning strippers money, so I don't need to be advised to read it, again.) I've since stopped "loaning" money to strippers, even if it meant the end of my relationship with them. In all cases, but one, where a stripper owes me money, it has since ended our business and personal relationship.

Steve: It was kinda comical when I finally told her. Until I realized from the expression on her face that she might really not know who the father was. Then it just got sad. Even if, like she said, the rubber did break (and I honestly could not recall any such incident), it wasn't doing her any good.

Walk up 2 me and said can I get a tip....???.....she didn't even dance on stage yet, no vip dace nothin ! Just walked right up and asked 4 money like a donation with nuthin in return. When I said no she got all pissy 2 ! .....wtf ???

I can think of two things:

1. A stripper asked me to "loan" her money tonight so that she could buy diapers on her way home. She promised to repay me in services the next day. Nope. I told her that if she really loved her child that much then she would take the time to earn it now.

2. A pack of four strippers came up to me and the lead hyena said, "you look like you have about $1,000 to spend on us." She guessed this when she spied me paying for my drink from across the fucking club. Well, she was right about how much I had on me, but wrong about how I was going to spend it. ;)

"I'll do what you want in the private dance" then she smiled a gap-toothed smile and hacked a cough that would make the crypt keeper shudder.

"If I don't get $600 by next week, I'll lose my new apartment and never see my kids again." Then I noticed the ankle bracelet she wore to monitor her drug and alcohol consumption.

"I almost died a year ago so I lost my successful house cleaning business. Do you need a house cleaner?"

"I love to have oral sex during private dances." When in the booth, I noticed the lovely smell of latex coming out of her kitty.

"I have bipolar disorder and need more money to get my medication."

london,

Was with her bf, and she didn't have it. So, Nope!

The worst? Other than the truth about personal shit I really had no desire to learn? I shudder to type any of it...

She was going to school to be a mortician.

I had a black dancer tell me she hated white men, this in a club where every man there (including club staff) was white.

You have to go to school to work with dead people?

I just wanted to chime in and say these are some good ones. I haven't gotten anything worthy of reporting yet...

That my suspicion that the dancer on stage was born male was correct.

@lapdanceking82: I have had that exact line used on me. Indeed, what a turn off.

While walking out of VIP, dancer who I just got done getting a dance from, pointed at another dancer and said:

"That chick and I did girl/girl earlier for a high roller in the champaign room, and when I went down on her, she farted. Directly in my face, and it was wet!"

Me: "Effing Sick Bitch! Thanks for sharing!"

She just smiled a shit-eating grin. Literally. I promptly went to the bathroom and blew chunks, as I was just DFKing her moments ago.

Never danced with either of them again. Oh well, shit happens, I guess.