Psychiatry

9/29/2011 1:42:35 PM

I was waiting to enter the couch room at a club with a girl I had visited with at the bar for about an hour this week (this club makes the girls wait outside the room till the end of a song) when another dancer came up and my girl said "This guy is so awesome, he really listens. I feel like I have told him my whole life story." The other girl responded "Most days I feel like a fucking psychiatrist. Problems, problems, problems all day long." This got me to thinking. What is it about a girl who takes her clothes off and grinds dick for a living that makes guys want to tell them their problems? Sure, I'll tell some things about myself, but I never bitch and I am truly interested in hearing what these girls have to say. Even if they are laying down SS, if they weave a good story it is entertaining. I feel that I was rewarded in the back for listening so it may even be a good thing. Do you tell your tales of woe to the strippers? Do you think it is as common as they let on? TUSCL vixens feel free to chime in here.

43 comments

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joesparty

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13 years ago

My ATF likes to say she is a therapist. Probably true. I don't divulge many personal details to dancers, but if I know one well, like my ATF, I will give up stuff that wouldn't be harmful if she blabs to others. And except for my ATF, none of them know my real first name. Call me paranoid.

Anyway, I can see how the dancers would be treated much like a friendly bartender. Especially if they sit with you for a while, what else are you going to talk about? You can only chat about weather, sports, and make small talk for a short time. Not to mention the class of people (guys and dancers both) who have no filter between brain and mouth and constantly spout TMI.

Dougster

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13 years ago

I've had strippers tell me they consider their job to be nearly as much therapist/relationship counselor as it is bouncing around dicks. Maybe some customers think they have few other options to turn to? Maybe they enjoy strippers unique perspectives on certain subjects. (I find strippers much more honest with themselves about certain things than other women are.) Maybe the customers think they are nearly as messed up as the strippers themselves so that forms a basis for the "sharing"/advice seeking? They think strippers may be more likely to relate to certain types of problems?

CTQWERTY

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13 years ago

RRD, you're at least wise enough NOT to be in the couch room for the shrink session.

Worst dance I ever had was in Seattle at a Vu. At the start of the lapper the dancer asked where I was from and in polite response I asked where she was from. The response was Pensacola, FL. Since that was a great distance I made the mistake of asking why she had come to Seattle. That opened up a can of worms, her mood saddened, the dance became rote and mechanical, and I heard all about her backstory for the duration of my 3-minute couch room dance. At the end of the song I got the bill: $35! There was not a request for more on my part.

Doc_Holliday

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13 years ago

Back when I had more problems, I'd go to stripclubs as therapy. Seems like a better idea to tell my problems to an attractive naked girl than an unattractive clothed person for about the same rate.

Stiletto25

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13 years ago

If any wives knew the intimate details that their husbands divulge to me about their relationships, I think they would lose it. I'm talking about everything from addictions, financial troubles, miscarriages, therapy, etc..

inno123

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13 years ago

I think a lot of customers go to clubs is to distract from their problems, and part of their problems is that they have nobody that will listen to their problems without a lot of criticism. When tehy find that coming to the club doesn't really cause them to escape their problems they address the problem the other way.

jackslash

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13 years ago

I go to strip clubs to drink and have fun with hot dancers and forget my problems. I don't want to complain about all the problems I've had and I don't want to hear the strippers whine about theirs.

fetish_dancer

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13 years ago

I think jackslash has it right. While I too will sit and listen, and discuss and offer advice, I find it ironic that custies don't want to reciprocate and hear *my* problems. Which isn't to say I ever unload on customers or even have the remotest interest in discussing my personal life with them; I just find it funny that a dancer should be beautiful, get you off (or pretend to) and be a therapist all in one. I have heard some very sad stories from customers and my heart goes out to them. But I'm left thinking about it and what I could ever do to help. I think that if you unload all over a stripper, you should listen to her problems, too. Fair's fair. You fellas come to clubs to be stimulated and entertained by beautiful women. We come there because it's an enjoyable job. Have fun! I took theatre and one of the first rules was "leave your problems at the door." I take it to heart.

bang69

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13 years ago

I go to strip clubs to have fun & relax & enjoy the company of hot half naked women

GSWx4

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13 years ago

f_d. I never tell a stripper anything about myself but I have listened to many dancersâ€™ problems. Not their SS but sometimes they just feel comfortable enough to open up and if I enjoy their company, Iâ€™m polite enough to listen. I do really hate it when they start crying though. I suppose thatâ€™s the same for you with PLs.

fetish_dancer

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13 years ago

I don't mind the unloading, and I do listen. Never had a guy cry yet though. Lots of dancers unload on me and cry to me, *because* I listen and try to be sympathetic...but you can see how I don't understand it from customers, lol. Also, on the subject of PLs, I don't see a guy as a PL unless he's acting like one, lmao

runrdude

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13 years ago

The thing is, I actually like strippers. Yeah there is an occasional predatory ROB, but for the most part they're entertaining even beyond the hotness and acres of exposed flesh. Maybe I've been lucky, but when I treat them like real people and have real conversations, we both find it enjoyable.

runrdude

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13 years ago

Or maybe they just act like they find it enjoyable. Either way, it works for me.

GSWx4

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13 years ago

@f_d. A difference in perspective no doubt and my perspective seems more and more to be unique. If you *promise* not cry and donâ€™t mind if I drink a few beers first I might be willing to listen to *your* problems. lol

mjx01

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13 years ago

FD, I agree with your sentiment that a customer should be willing to listen within reason. But, in my experience dancers don't want a customer involved in the personal live outside the club. (per my previous posts) When a dancer starts to 'share' that goes against keeping work & personal seperate. In my case, I really don't try to compartmentalize me club life (although maybe be I should).

I also second runrdude's comment. I actually like (some) strippers. Which aparently is dumb on my part. Sigh.

Doc_Holliday

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13 years ago

No offense f_d, but unless you're paying the customer, they don't have to listen. No matter what you're selling, be it entertainment or computer hardware, you have an obligation to fulfill the customer's needs, which often includes lending a shoulder and ear, for that sale. If they reciprocate, it's nice. But you can't expect it any more than a customer can expect to get in your pants.

fetish_dancer

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13 years ago

@GSW: I appreciate the offer, but I'm not one to unload all over a customer, haha. I keep a definite line between my personal life and my club shifts. If I'm feeling down for whatever reason, like last night, I just cut out early and go home.

@mjx: I compartmentalize! I think when there are problems and alcohol flowing, everyone just gets a little more freely emotional.

Doc_Holliday

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13 years ago

Of corse, I don't follow that sentiment. I've gotten mixed up in grey areas with a few dancers.

mjx01

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13 years ago

FD: agreed, alcohol loosens people up. I RARELY drink at SCs, so that not my issue.

fetish_dancer

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13 years ago

And Doc, a guy who listens establishes a rep as being different. Just saying. The payment goes the other way, too -- if you need intense conversation, take me for a couch dance, lol. More private.

GSWx4

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13 years ago

@f_d. No problem. I only make offers like that if Iâ€™m sure they wonâ€™t be accepted (please donâ€™t tell that to your fellow strippers).

fetish_dancer

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13 years ago

Mum's the word! I'd rather talk about history or the Kama Sutra or our fiscal policy, anyway ;)

Doc_Holliday

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13 years ago

Well, yeah. I just went through a fucking day long sales-customer relationship course and it was so vague, I thought every rule could apply to a stripper. If I could somehow copy it and email it to every stripper that valued their craft, I would. Anyhow, that said, the best client vendor relationships are those built on trust and genuine friendship where both parties are getting a solid deal. So as long as you recognize and appreciate their gesture of being there for you and reciprocate, then you'll end up selling more dances.

Dudester

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13 years ago

I try getting the girls to open up and talk about themselves, but very few will. One of the best SC visits I had, the girl blabbed on for five minutes, then she said "I'm supposed to listen to you." I told her that I would prefer if she would go on, but she refused.

rh48hr

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13 years ago

I'm with those who say they are there to enjoy the dancers. I don't reveal anything about my personal life. I am there to get away from any problems I might have, not rehash them.

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13 years ago

Life is a two-way street. If you're going to be a repeat customer, you need to listen and talk.

JohnBuford

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13 years ago

@Fetish:Ahemm,now when you say"unload on a stripper"...Uhh
Hmm
:)

gatorfan

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13 years ago

And most days I feel like a proctologist

mmdv26

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13 years ago

Dancers are not therapists, because they offer no rational way out of life situations that you may bring up to them. Usually more of the same shitty ideas that got them to the stripper pole in the first place.

steve229

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13 years ago

I'm may be going out on a limb here, but I'm betting a psychiatrist would have a field day with the members of this board, lol.

farmerart

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13 years ago

^^^^^^^^^^^^
Pretty short limb, steve.

Dougster

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13 years ago

@steve229: I'm betting a psychiatrist would have a field day with the members of this board

Especially those whackjob psychos like Dudester and payer11 who have like a million problems. Then to a lesser degree your generic narcissists like Rick_TheIdiot_Dugan, MisterGay, and txtittyfan.

steve229

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13 years ago

^^^^^^
Pot, meet kettle.

Dougster

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13 years ago

steve still fixated on me. Hey, steve, I thought you were going to ask mikeya02 and leave me alone? Barking up the wrong tree, man.

mikeya02

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13 years ago

Hey doug, if all strippers are whores, how come you only have a 80% otc success rate with them? The rest of us have a 100% rate with whores. Go ahead, franticly think of something that what you really meant was blah, blah, blah.

Dougster

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13 years ago

Because your logic is a little broken, mike. You are equivocating between two different definitions to try and make yourself look clever, but it's not working.

Here's a hint, just because whores do different things doesn't mean they aren't all whores. Some whores refuse to do DFK. Does that make them not whores? Sexual services for money is the definition. Some may only do it ITC some only OTC. Some a combination of both. All whores nevertheless.

Btw, has steve asked you out yet or are you going to have to make the first move here?

Christal

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13 years ago

What a great thread. I too feel like a pycologist on many occasions. Both to dancers & customers a like. I really enjoy it. I guess in a funny way I feel honored at the fact that they feel comfortable enough with me that they tell me what ever is on there mind both good or bad.

mikeya02

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13 years ago

Wow! I also like how you're all knowing and know everything about everybody. And you're a shrink too! You know how we really feel on the inside like you tried to tell me.HAHAHAHA What in hell was that?!

rickdugan

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13 years ago

I don't share my problems with strippers. In fact, I make sure to let them know that I am great and really don't have any right to complain about anything.

But I am more than willing to their problems, especially when they tell me how bad things are, how broke they are, how they have [fill in the blank] to pay in the next day or two, etc. Though when these little issues come up, I view myself less as a therapist and more as a solution provider. ;)

mikeya02

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13 years ago

@Rick Where I'm at all the strippers I talk to are perfectly happy! No drugs, parents love them, their dog loves them, have boyfriends who treat them nice. Is San Diego that different or do I just gravitate to the happy ones?

gatorfan

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13 years ago

mikeya02, the drugs are working

mikeya02

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13 years ago

For you? Sorry but its true. I guess Florida is different.

HonestT

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13 years ago

I never unload on dancers with my problems. I usually pretend to be Jay Leno and ask the interview questions. Unfortunately I spend 40-50% of the time trying to steer the conversation sexually, instead of all the "bring down drama" I usually elicit. Not that I don't mind listening a little, but once most dancers (and most women) get started talking, they can't stop.

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