tuscl

Do you really give a shit about the club layout?

shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
i read review after review of where the bar, pool tables, stages, and mens room are located. I find that a total waste of literary talent. I can find that out in an instant. What I find lacking is a listing of actual prices for drinks, table dances and VIP trips. Words like reasonable or customary don't tell me anything.

39 comments

  • gillydon
    •
    13 years ago
    I wouldn't necessarily care exactly where everything is, but it would be useful to know whether there are pool tables, how many stages there are, how big the stages are, and whether the men's room is clean.
  • troop
    •
    13 years ago
    well if i walked in with my bladder ready to pop, i'd like to know where the men's room is :p

  • DFFECHSWU
    •
    13 years ago
    Somewhat. A club with a layout you like, i.e. are the dancer's higher than you or eye level when on stage, are there areas in the club where you can just hang out for a few and not be hounded incessantly (by dancers that you're not necessarily interested in), and of course as others have mentioned, where the men's room is located. At one club in PA, the restrooms are between two couch like seating areas where the dancers sometimes hang between shows. Both doors open right to the club, so it's sort of like having a pisser right next to your living room.
  • jackslash
    •
    13 years ago
    I think some description of the club's physical layout is of interest. Not as important as prices and attractiveness of dancers, but still useful.
  • biggb011
    •
    13 years ago
    To me the club lay out is as useful as writing about how many mirrors the club has. So I agree, at times some reviews can give you to much useless info. which would be ok if the review had alot of good info. Such as, prices like you mentioned, or extras, how the girls look, etc.
  • newmark
    •
    13 years ago
    If I am just surveying the clubs in a new city, the layout details are unnecessary and annoying, unless there is a club with something unique about the layout. But it is nice information when I am actually to go to a specific club. The layout is also a waste of time when reading about clubs I have visited.

    What I would suggest is that reviewers only post layout info if it hasn't been posted recently or is different from what has already been posted
  • vincemichaels
    •
    13 years ago
    Yeah, especially now that it is summer. I usually can't see a damn thing when I walk in out of the afternoon sun.
  • harrydave
    •
    13 years ago
    I'm as guilty as the next guy, writing reviews that impart wisdom like, "the bar is on the left and the stage is in the center". On reflection, I would like to know if the place is big or small. And I would like to know if it has a pool table, because that is an indication of the type of club. And I would like to know if there is something odd about the layout, like the lap dances are all upstairs. Beyond that, it doesn't really matter.
  • samsung1
    •
    13 years ago
    I like it when reviewers mention if they felt cramped or not in the club. It is ironic how these mega clubs like Hustler in Detroit or Christies in Cleveland still feel cramped on the main floor despite their huge size.
  • Clubber
    •
    13 years ago
    I would rather have extraneous information then not enough. An extra paragraph doesn't take but a few seconds to read. I believe brevity was a reason founder put a minimum on review length.
  • Dudester
    •
    13 years ago
    1) tell me about the parking

    2) Tell me about reception (what surprises lie in wait)

    3) Tell me where the LD's are-prices ?

    4) Add in the men's room-if notable. A troll ? Filthy ?
  • m00tpoint
    •
    13 years ago
    we like as much info as possible and are capable of weeding out what we feel does not pertain to us. We wish more posters would put info in about smoking and ventilation, if there is a particularly good place to sit and if clubs are couple friendly. While we recognize that couples are not the majority of club patrons, they are a viable market and many clubs are beginning to market to them. Given the response we got on our posts about couples and how to take a wife or GF to a club, we believe many agree with us. The last thing a woman wants to do is to enter a strip club and be the only female there other than the entertainers.

    Also, we have been to one club in Indiana where there was not even a ladies room. My wife had to use a men's room with a stripper outside the door (although she did accompany her back to the table and we had a nice time chatting and got a private dance later.) and the light bulb did not even work.

    One more point - without some of the descriptions on some of the New Orleans clubs, it would be impossible to know what areas are available and what they are like. They usually do not offer tours and girls won't all share.
  • dudeanonymous
    •
    13 years ago
    This is the first paragraph of founder's review guidelines: "Give a LOT of details in your review (layout, atmosphere, dance quality, etc.). Be wordy. Fill the review box. One or two sentence reviews aren't helpful to anyone."

    I don't mind the info on the layout, especially if I'm visiting a club for the first time. If it's a club I've been to before, I can always skim over it.

  • georgmicrodong
    •
    13 years ago
    Yes, I give a shit. Better too much than too little.
  • chukko
    •
    13 years ago
    Ok. I'm guilty of over describing layout. I give savant like descriptions, but I always tell prices. I find prices to be the most important details, dance/contact descriptions next, then level of privacy for dances, and last atmosphere/general attitudes. Looking back on the few reviews that I've done so far, I wouldn't completely layout the club. I would sum up the facts to a point that the reader would know about size, dance area layouts (open, cubicles, couches, benches), smoking/nonsmoking, etc.. I do agree with gmd though. Better too much than too little. Subjective descriptions can be useful when describing dancers (spunky, rude, shy, mysterious), but are crap when descibing drink prices, dance prices, entrance prices, and basically anything involving money or numbers (reasonable, high, through the rough, rip off, over priced, etc.). If you are going to say these things then drop some numbers even if they are ball park figures to back them up. These ball park figures help readers to budget, negotiate prices, dodge ROB, and basically plan ahead.
  • chukko
    •
    13 years ago
    Also to second Harry Dave, I do like to know special layout features such as an upstairs and down stairs.
  • minnow
    •
    13 years ago
    Although not that high on priority list, some things are nice to know, like where restroom, ATM machine, 2nd bar (if applicable) are. Also, where speakers are ( some can be unpleasantly noisy compared to other seats), ventilation/ac system effecdtiveness (too much or little), where low and high priced private dance areas are ( to know if you're being steered to pricier area), etc. As I got more reviews under my belt, I steered away from boilerplate layout descriptions, and adopted paragraph system with capitalized subject header, dividing into club orientation/costs, dancers, stages/laps, and a general summary so one could prioritize their reading better.
  • bang69
    •
    13 years ago
    I agree 100% with shadow
  • Notsosly
    •
    13 years ago
    For the most part, I agree with you. However, I do want to know specifics about the bar LD and VIP areas. I like to sit at the bar, so if it's small and/or off in a corner, I'm not going to like the place most likely. Are the LD and/or VIP areas private, semi-private, or in the open? Those are all very helpful to me. Exact layout info? Meh. Not really needed. But like others have said, it's right in the directions for writing a review.

    Whether it has a pool table is also good info.
  • smokeshopjoe
    •
    13 years ago
    The lay out is important if there is something awesome or something shitty. I just went to a local place with sooo many black lights I had to leave before I could finish a beer. Also it is nice to know it the layout will help or inhibit good times.
  • lopaw
    •
    13 years ago
    I obviously don't give a crap about the mens room, but I do want to know about things like whether there is forced valet parking, the type of neighborhood it's in, and what are the cover charges.
  • crecat03
    •
    13 years ago
    I generally agree with you that prices and mileage expected for lap dances are most important but there are some places where there are places to sit that are particularly good or particularly bad. It's good to know that as well as what can be expected from parking/valet. I've been known to turn around when I get to a place that has a mandatory valet or charges an unexpectedly high parking fee or cover charge.
  • Clubber
    •
    13 years ago
    sc,

    Seems you are in the minority here. That said, I will agree with on some things (pool tables, etc.), but a few extra words, I can deal with as long as pertinent information is also included.
  • mmdv26
    •
    13 years ago
    The club info should have accurate pricing and details like valet parking and BYOB.

    I appreciate a heads-up on the layout because it gives me the illusion of familiarity on my first visit...

    I agree with S-cat that words like reasonable or customary aren't very valuable. If the place has clean carpet, I don't care to read about it in a review. Most clubs have *reasonably* clean carpet, so don't mention it. If the mens' room has a toilet in it, don't mention it. If you have to piss in a five-gallon orange "homer" bucket, say something about that not-so-customary situation.

  • Realist123
    •
    13 years ago
    plastic chairs = nono

    I prefer to have sex on comfortable things!
  • Stiletto25
    •
    13 years ago
    mmdv26 :The Home Depot is my favorite place. I laughed hard on the homer bucket comment.
  • vincemichaels
    •
    13 years ago
    Good job, shadowcat, you stirred up things here !!
  • shadowcat
    •
    13 years ago
    Thanks vince. Yesterday snowtime and myself hit Follies. It's a good thing that we read the reviews first. We might have not been able to find the bar or stage without them. My dancer had to lead me to the VIP room. Fortunately there was a sign above the mens room. reading "mens".
  • vincemichaels
    •
    13 years ago
    You are welcome, shadowcat. As if you don't know your way around at Follies. LMAO
  • gatorfan
    •
    13 years ago
    I think this is self explanatory, strip clubs are not casinos. You should always be able to find everything easily.
  • rickdugan
    •
    13 years ago
    shadow, I agree 100%. Now I will add that girl quality, general vibes/attitudes of the girls and LD/VIP area privacy are also valuable to me, but I really don't care about the general club layout.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    13 years ago
    If you're going to have trouble finding a seat when you visit, that is nice to know because the club may be small compared to the crowd size. If the music is so loud you need ear plugs if you sit in certain locations, that is really helpful information. If most people don't like the lap dance room near the bar, that is nice to know. Maybe there is less sense of privacy. If the seats on the left side of the stage are for hearing impaired, deaf, or hearing protection only that may be nice to know but I could easily find out after arriving at the club. Knowing that the upstairs section is for vip card holders only is nice to know because it's hard to hear anything in some clubs with the music so loud.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    13 years ago
    However if you don't know that and some new dancer does not either, then she might say let's skip the regular lap dance room and go over here. Then she takes you up to the vip area to give you a lap dance and neither of you know that you aren't supposed to be getting lap dances there (without me being a vip customer).
  • Otto22
    •
    13 years ago
    I'm in agreement with SC. Further, I resent "reviews" where the poster admits that they did not get any LDs. WTF? What's the point of a review of a SC when your experience of the place might as well have taken place at Hooters?
  • SuperDude
    •
    13 years ago
    It helps to know if you can sit at the bar and see the dancers on stage. Many clubs have a main bar in cramped uncomfortable space, forcing the customer to get a booth for $20.00 if he wants to be comfortable and see the stage. Is the LD area private booths or something more public and, for me, less inviting.
  • motorhead
    •
    13 years ago
    You're off base Cat. A brief word about layout, especially parking, is important.

    And I'm glad you mentioned pool tables. I, for one, will not usually return to a club that has pool tables. No place for pool tables and video games in a strip club. If the dancers are so ugly that you have to resort to pool to keep entertained, then fuck that club.
  • shadowcat
    •
    13 years ago
    motorhead: I guess that if you cannot find the parking lot, then you really do need to know where the bar and stage are located.
  • rickdugan
    •
    13 years ago
    lol motor. Some of the most fun clubs I go to have pool tables.
  • troop
    •
    13 years ago
    i agree with motorhead regarding i don't go to a strip club to play video games or shoot pool although a club with them is not a deal breaker.
    afterall i do want to get my stick and balls taken care of :p
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