Which city has the worst stripclubs in the whole country?

32 comments

• shadowcat

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  15 years ago

  I would have said Atlanta but two recent outings have been very successful. You just have to be patient and wait for the right dancer.
• samsung1

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  15 years ago

  Atlanta has four clubs in the top 100 so I would not say it is the worst strip club city. Cincinnati, OH is a well known city and it only has one strip club listed. You have to travel down to Kentucky or Dayton, OH for entertainment but it still involves well over 30 minutes of driving on highways.
• gatorfan

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  15 years ago

  Salt Lake City Utah has to be the worst
• BaddJack

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  15 years ago

  Gatorfan: Is that a guess or is it your experience. My experience with Salt Lake City was great, but it was also 15 years ago. Any new developments?
• minnow

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  15 years ago

  Prior posters have posted a pretty good list. My choice would be Cincinnati. Other major cities that I'd add to "dishonorable mention" list for combination of paucity of clubs, mileage, and/or poor bang for $$ would be Chicago, Washington DC, San Jose, & Charlotte. In the lower tier, but not total "Siberia", I'd place Boston,Orlando, Seattle, & San Francisco. One standard of measurement I'd be considering would be the quantity/quality of clubs that a business traveler could get to for < $15 cab fare from downtown or major airport hotels.
• harrydave

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  15 years ago

  I would nominate Washington DC. Good thing it is near Baltimore. Also, until recently I thought Columbus OH clubs were pretty bad, but I have benefited from tapping into local knowledge. Worst State for strip clubs? I would nominate Vermont.
• txtittyfan

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  15 years ago

  A few years ago I travelled quite a bit and found that while Salt Lake City was restrictive, the dancers were pretty hot looking. Ten years ago I would say Boise, Idaho and Des Moine, Iowa.
• arbeeguy

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  15 years ago

  Salt Lake City may be pretty bad, but - hey - Salt Lake City is Capital of Mormon Country, and based on that you should have pretty low expectations to begin with. Based on the TREMENDOUS gap between expectations and reality, I nominate ORLANDO. There is no other city that has so much entertainment but so little satisfaction in the erogenous zone. A perverse tribute to the power of squeaky-clean Disney, I guess. But one would THINK with all the money spent on entertainment in Orlando they might allow one little X-rated joint with bare pussies and extras. Maybe it is there but we just don't know the secret password. I have often wondered about that city.
• arbeeguy

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  15 years ago

  I must take strong exception with the previous poster who claimed that on some nutty criteria, ORLANDO is the worst strip club city in the nation. Here are some facts to the contrary: (1) TUSCL lists 11 strip clubs in Orlando. (2) Three of these clubs have a rating of 7.6 or above. (3) the average stripper beauty-factor and glamour-factor in Orlando clubs is actually quite high. (4) The Orlando clubs, taken as a group, are classy, clean, well appointed, etc. (Well, #3 may be subjective, not fact, but would anybody disagree?) So it all depends on the criteria. Given the right criteria, Orlando ain't half bad.
• aalexium

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  15 years ago

  Hands down - biggest disappointment is Chicago. The 'better' clubs are all nearly an hour from the city/airports, clubs are some of the most expensive in the country, a locals oriented environment which is very unfriendly for the business crowd, and the talent is only slightly above average. I'm sure there are worse cities (Salt Lake would seem challenging) but in terms of disappointing relative to expectations - Chicago takes it. Worst region is definitely the Midwest.
• gatorfan

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  15 years ago

  My experience at Salt Lake City was 2005. It was the worst in my opinion, the Cincinnati area was about as bad, as was Buffalo NY area.
• KootchieKoo

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  15 years ago

  I was in Salt Lake City in late 2006 or early 2007 and paid for a cab to one of the clubs there, the girls were behind a barrier and there certainly was no VIP area. What was I thinking? The clubs in Nashville are dying, Anthony's and Ken's closed recently, leaving only 3 clubs. I was there this past Christmas and bought a LD from a dancer at Ken's who said she'd been to Memphis a few times to work at Platinum Plus so I thought she had "potential", but when we went upstairs she wouldn't let me touch her at all and the whole thing was ultra lame.
• Player11

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  15 years ago

  Billings, MT - They are only one way contact.
• wallanon

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  15 years ago

  I've checked out two or three of the clubs in Orlando. The ones that were supposed to be the best in town. The clubs have the same problem that the ones in DC have, no laps. At least in Orlando you can get table dances, but only being an hour away from Tampa it's a no brainer to drive there if the timing works.
• GQMan

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  15 years ago

  Have you ever been to New Hampshire!!!! OMG...THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY
• DandyDan

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  15 years ago

  If it is just the city, and not the metropolitan area, it would have to be Chicago. I love going to Chicago, but never for the strip clubs. However, the ones in northwest Indiana possibly make up for it, or so I hear, at least. I remember my one and only trip to Milwaukee and thought the clubs there were lame, but that was also 5 years ago. I don't know who posted about Des Moines, Iowa, but I've never had a serious problem with any of the clubs there. I don't think the girls are always topnotch there, but the clubs are all right.
• chandler

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  15 years ago

  Dan, I think the lousy clubs in suburban Chicago are just as responsible for its reputation. Anything that's in NW Indiana only looks marginally tolerable in comparison. However, there's no way the Midwest is the worst region. Where it's bad, sure, it's bad like anywhere else. But we've got some of the best big city scenes in Detroit, ESL and Indianapolis, plus a bunch of towns like Lansing, Kokomo, Dayton and Lawrence where you can have a lot of fun. The Midwest is all right.
• steve229

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  15 years ago

  arbeeguy - you really set that other jerk straight on Orlando! Interestingly, I've had some good experiences in both Orlando and NH - but that was all about the one-on-one interaction with a dancer, not the clubs themselves.
• gatorfan

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  15 years ago

  I remember Butler County in Ohio (where Cincinnati is) had some stupid restriction on strip club lap dances which did not apply to the rest of the state.
• harrydave

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  15 years ago

  Just a historical factoid regarding Cincinnati. The group responsible for promoting the new restrictive strip club law in Ohio is based in Cincinnati. They have some serious limp dicks in that town (no offence to the local horn-dogs, who are probably doing a lot of porn surfing). As for Orlando, I have a soft spot for that town. My first visit to a strip club was at Thee Doll House. Pretty mild, but fun for a newbie.
• steve229

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  15 years ago

  harrydave, Last time I was in Orlando (almost a year ago) there were some very hot Russian girls dancing at the Thee Doll House. I also liked the more downscale sister club directly across the street. I found out a lot of dancers were Doll House girls that got in trouble (underage drinking, drugs, etc.) and management sent them there on “probation.” Sort of like a stripper reform school.
• Scoops

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  15 years ago

  I'll weigh in for what its worth. My votes go to Chicago and DC. Based on reviews here, I did not even bother to visit a SC on my trip to Chicago last year, and that is unusual (Thanks TUSCLers). I am local to DC and go to Baltimore or Showcase in MD, for local entertainment, and more recently Paper Moon in Springfield Virginia. I give honorable mention to Albany (worst SC I've ever been in) and Hunstville (second worst). As for Orlando, I drove to Tampa Bay to visit Mons Venus, again based on reviews here. One last thought, its been a while since I've been to Los Angeles, but never had a good time there either.
• chandler

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  15 years ago

  I realize that jerk Arbeeguy was mostly playing devil's advocate, but I think his comments in defense of Orlando show how little you can rely on statistics and ratings. I've always heard that Orlando is a complete wasteland for strip clubs. Scanning the reviews appears to confirm that, regardless of what the numbers say.
• samsung1

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  15 years ago

  at least living or traveling in Orlanda you are 1-2 hour drive to Tampa. Also Orlando is home to the top Hooter's in the nation. Their Lake Buena Vista location in Orlando won the award for top sales in 2008. I have been to the location myself and it is the best hooter's I have been to. Lots of hot women. It wouldn't surprise me if Hooter's is promoting these orlanda air dance laws to protect their own business profits lol. Hooter's was willing to open up their own airline a while ago but it went out of business. I don't know why they have not tried a hooter's strip club. Those outfits can be pretty hot on some girls.
• samsung1

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  15 years ago

  *Orlando, not orlanda lol I was in Cincinnati a few weeks ago, and I saw hotter girls at King's Island than I did at the local strip club.
• gatorfan

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  15 years ago

  Orlanda, like the spanish/russian feminine of Orlando
• Clubber

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  15 years ago

  In my experience, Salt Lake City, and Orlando AFTER the righteous got hold of it are neck and neck at # 1.
• samsung1

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  15 years ago

  is it the righteous that got hold of Orlando? I thought it was because Disney and other tourist companies control the town now and wants to make it as family-friendly as possible. More of a business decision than a religious decision. Kind of what is going on with Las Vegas and how the casinos try to make it tough on the strip clubs to protect their own profits.
• steve229

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  15 years ago

  In Orlando they blame the Mouse.
• MisterGuy

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  15 years ago

  "Worst State for strip clubs? I would nominate Vermont" ...or NH. "Have you ever been to New Hampshire!!!! OMG...THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY" Exactly. I would say that Sainte Hyacinthe,, Quebec (where Montreal strippers apparently go to die) would be the worst city that I ever visited. All the strip clubs in the downtown area are horrible freak shows.
• Clubber

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  15 years ago

  Righteous does not necessarily mean religious. As it's base says, "right". Although it is sometimes Godly in meaning.
• gk

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  15 years ago

  I don't have too much to say about this one, BUT I agree that Chicago proper (as opposed to its burbs & x-urbs) delivers way below what you would expect from the second largest city in the country.