Second OTC Experience
seawa
Nevada
This site has been really helpful for me and a lot of the discussions seem truthful. From the response to my last article, I learned that there are others that are learning and some have the same concerns that I do. There are also those that of course choose to ridicule. Oh well, here's how it went down.
I was set to visit the same area where my first OTC took place. I texted my girl a few days in advance and got no response. I texted her the day I got into town no response, oh well like most strippers, she's not reliable. I decided to go to the club and get some dances. I showed up at around 10:30. Got a few dances on the floor, nothing special but a decent night. At around 11:30 I heard my girl's name announced as being next on stage. She came out and we made eye contact. After her dance she came down and sat with me.
Small talk and SS. She got a new phone blah blah blah. Didn't have any way of contacting me. She's so happy I'm in town etc. She sat with me for about an hour before we even talked about a dance. She initiated the discussion about OTC. She said that she had such a great time with me previously that we needed to do it again. I had to leave as I had to work early the next morning so we decided to get together in the afternoon the next day before her shift.
We agreed to meet at 5pm and discuss details over dinner. I texted at 5, nothing, 6 nothing. At 7 I had concluded that it wasn't happening and got some dinner. She finally texts while I'm eating. SS of course. She still wants to get together blah blah. Okay, meet me at hotel at 8. 8pm - 3 hours after what we agreed on. "I'm on my way". 9pm - 4 hours after what we agreed on. I'm 5 minutes away. I'm very angry now. I text her to not bother coming by. She knocks on my door at about 9:30pm.
I let her in and I'm pretty pissed off. She's in a normal outfit, jeans and a shirt. She looks great. More SS and small talk. It was strange seeing her as a "normal" person. Remember she was dressed up for our first meeting. I saw the person, not the stripper, that made me even more angry. Now it was a person screwing with me not just a stripper. We talk for about 45 minutes. I can tell she wants to discuss what we're going to do but she doesn't want to bring it up. She finally does and I tell her I'm not happy. SS about why she didn't show up on time. That was enough for me. I catch her in about 5 different lies. I finally tell her no thanks and she can leave. She's very apologetic and tells me I won't be mad after we spend time together. I stay strong. At about 10:45pm she agrees to leave.
It didn't feel like a power play but that's what it turned out to be. She has since been texting wanting to know when I'll be back. Of course that's because she needs money but i feel like I have the upper hand now. To be continued...
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29 comments
Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but that takes the time of establishing trust with another dancer before she'll meet him OTC. He already has that trust established with this dancer.
seawa, stop stalling and just fuck her the next time you see her. Don't make me have to do it.
:-)
On the other, let some guys tell it you should consider it a win she showed up at all and probably should have just went with it at that point.
I suspect next time she will know not to waste your time or she will say fuck it and there won't be a next time since she knows you won't see her at her leisure.
1. Flakiness, lack of ability to honor commitments, and poor judgement come with the territory. Either accept it, or OTC isn't for you
2. At some point, there's a level of disrespect I won't take from anyone, even a stripper
Like you, once that girl had not texted me for hours, then finally on her way waaaay after that, I probably would have bailed. Not sure how I would have reacted when she showed up in my room -- if I was already steaming, I might have stayed firm like you did; if I was only irritated, I would have fuxed her.
Once I realize a stripper is particularly flaky -- and I usually realize that before we ever go OTC, as I try to arrange ITC appointments with her -- I'll often try to intervene. For many of the girls, passive aggressive behavior is the way they handle anything uncomfortable, which is why they won't bother texting you if they'll be late or wont' show up. So I tell them outright, "totally get it that you won't always be on time or have to cancel, but for me, I expect you to tell me early -- I'll make you a deal, you text me back early that you think you'll be late or have to cancel, I promise not to get mad; but if you do it late, I'll be pissed". Don't expect miracles, some of the girls can't help themselves, but sometimes knowing my expectations and knowing they get a "free pass" if they text me early they'll be late, gets their behavior to slide a bit from "stripper" to "normal person"
I think a discount would have been in order if she wanted to continue and you still wanted to be laid. But I get why you sent her packing.
Set your expectations and if she doesn't meet them find someone else who can.
1) it takes two to tango - i.e. we expect the dancers to be on time at our beckon call - i.e. if we tell them we will be at the club at X time; she better be there waiting and available and not w/ anyone else; etc (same as for OTC) - but I would venture to say that perhaps us PLs also may not always be able to be at a meet-up (ITC or OTC) or be able to shwo-up at the agreed time and we expect the dancers to understand; i.e. does a PL not ever say he won't be able to make it after they have agreed to meet or at times also ignore dancers' texts?
2) many of these girls have complicated if not unstable lives - many may have an S.O. they gotta work-around; perhaps kids; if not other personal life matters that make it difficult for them to always make it and always be on time - if they were punctual reliable persons they would not be strippers (for the most part)
SS is baked into the equation - sorta like on a project often times one has to put in slack for potential cost and schedule over-runs that often happen - they (strippers) are what they are - if one wants a hot young chick that allows strangers to grope them and see them naked, and more; well they are not gonna be the most well-balanced responsible people, for the most-part.
IMO getting pissed at SS is a losing battle; you are gonnna be getting constantly pissed - it's like comedian Chris Rock said "it's like calling out a retarded kid for double-dribbleling; you just gotta let some shit slide".
Many experienced OTCers will say SS is the reason they often have more than one OTC dancer on their rouster (i.e. not putting all their PL-eggs in one basket) - in my unprofessional opinion it's best to expect SS and learn how to deal w/ it and around it than not expect it when it comes to dealing w/ strippers (especially OTC since IMO the more they are willing to do the more stripperish they are and thus the more unreliable they are gonna be, in-general).
So IMO if you are gonna be dealing w/ strippers especially OTC then learn how to accept SS or work around it b/c IMO often times the way many act is often really the best many of them can do under their circumstances - it's sorta the nature of the beast.
I went and looked for the other OTC article since it was mentioned. That first meetup sounded like it met expectations. Expectations are a problem, too. Last time I had a meetup OTC, I had zero expectations. Asked the girl after knowing her for an hour on a whim. It went eerily well, but this isn't about my story so the point is I had a back up plan I ended up not needing. If nothing else, I would have something do so I wasn't standing around looking like and idiot in public or sitting around wherever wasting the day away. If you're really looking for advice, what I would offer is try not to make these things personal.
It's business (at least def for her) - no need to get emotionally wrapped-up - some business deals work out and some fall thru.
Again, for anyone who has missed the advice: particularly if I can already see the stripper is flaky, I've found it useful to sit her down and give her a little talk about how I expect a text as soon as she knows she's going to be late or have to cancel, how it's no-harm/no-foul if she does so, but I'll be irritated if she doesn't. I really feel many of these girls are emotionally immature, and you really need to approach it with the mindset of teaching a child proper etiquette (but without talking down to them...lol). It absolutely can help, if the stripper is being passive-aggressive and not just forgetful
In the OP, She isn't a little late, she is over 4 hours late. I don't know Seawa's circumstances but for many of us, that would impact our billable hours or even other plans we have. Perhaps not in this particular instance but accepting it this time, might set the expectation for future encounters. What if the customer needs some medicine at a certain time? What if he has to call home at a specified time? Plans with friends? Another provider coming over?
I probably would not have sent her on her way but I am not Seawa. Her being on time is important to him. If we tell a provider to dress a certain way or perform a certain way and she doesn't we have the right to call it off.
Girl doesn't seem like a ROB. But totally unorganized.
Worth giving her another chance if she's hot.
Righteous indignation = masturbation later that night.
I can make my point by not soliciting her in the future or by cutting my future offering rate due to past poor treatment.
You say she ignored your texts in the days before arriving. Why? She may be your favorite but it doesn't sound like you're her regular by any means. You probably don't see her that often or spend a regular amount on her....at least in her opinion.
When you get to the club you say "She sat with me for about an hour before we even talked about a dance". Then you wanted to get dinner with her to "discuss the details". How long does discussing details take and is she getting anything for this? Then she gets to your room at 9:30 and talks with you until 10:45. My thought is she viewed all this as you wanting multiple hours of free companionship (in the club, at dinner, chatting in the room beforehand, etc) with an uncertain reward for her at the end. When she blew you off for dinner you can be sure she was with her S.O. or a regular customer that offered more certainty ($s per time spent)
My advice: discuss the details BEFORE setting up OTC. Example: "I'm willing to pay $X hundred which will include you joining me for a nice dinner followed by X, Y and Z back in my room." That way she can internalize the compensation she is getting and know she gets the reward for showing up at the agreed time for dinner, etc.
Good luck out there.
I can see why a lot of services have drivers. Helps actually get the product there on time.
What makes you think you can treat a stripper like a hooker? For that matter, what makes you think you can treat a stripper like a non-person? She didn’t respond to your texts because she wasn’t ready to see you again. She was still trying to process her first OTC encounter with you. You didn’t go to her club to “get some dances.” You could have gone to any club for that. You went there to force the issue.
She was at the club that night because she had bills to pay. When she saw you in the club, she walked over to you because she had bills to pay. That said, I’m picking up clues that there were some feelings involved on both sides. She dressed up for you the first time. You like to tell your wife about your strip club experiences, but you didn’t tell her about this OTC experience. Did this dancer know you were married? Did your wife know about this particular dancer? How would you have felt about taking your wife to your “current favorite’s” club to meet her?
Your “current favorite” didn’t want to upset you or lose you as a customer, but she clearly wasn’t ready to meet you again OTC. So she stalled, hoping you would call things off. But you didn’t. When she felt she had no choice she finally showed up at your hotel, wanting to talk about where things were going, and you turned it into a “power play.”
No, I don’t think you had the upper hand at all. The only upside I can see to this story is that you probably fucked things up so badly with this dancer that you may have inadvertently saved your marriage.