Being strongarmed to tip / being the bigger person
I'm the type of PL who enjoys a good friendly conversation, although that isn't what I am looking for at my local club/s. I like to get a drink or three, tip on stage a couple times, maybe more, and then wait for a dancer of my type (fit and pretty, great ass and legs) to approach me for a dance.
If I get approached by somebody who isn't my type, but is decent in conversation, I'll tip them and/or offer them a drink from the bar. I will try to let them know politely earlier in the 10-15 minutes that my intentions are to not get a dance today. Point is, I'm a decent enough PL, imo.
I don't tip everyone who approaches, generally I believe in them earning it with a dance in the back or on the stage. I don't mind them joining me if they ask. The other day I had a weird experience.
Dancer informs me that they would like a tip after spending 8 minutes chatting me up. During said 8 minutes, she asked what if I like VIPs, I said seldom so, I'm more of a regular dance or two type of guy. I invited to buy here a beverage, which she declined.
How was I supposed to respond to her demand? I told her I tip when I want to, and don't tip on command. She got a bit upset by that, and responded with, "Do you think I LIKE sitting here talking to you?" "How do you think I make money here?"
At this point I was incredulous, and wanted to tell her to take a hike. Instead I took a deep breath, and excused myself to the bathroom, telling her, if you're still here when I get back, then we'll see whether or not I WANT to give you one.
When I went back she was still there. I decided to play along with her self imposed rules, simply to just keep the peace. I said: I was thinking about what you said, and I do want to give you a tip: $5. She thanked me, and we talked for a short time longer. I gave her another $5. She asked me was I ready for a dance, and I politely declined. She left.
Looking back, I can't tell why I caved in- but I think sometimes people are just miserable, and you have to chalk it up to a lesson learned. She must have learned that complaining and whining to her possible customers paid off- and I only reinforced that by my actions. I want to learn by it too, though. Was there anything redeeming by her gracing me with her presence during that 15 minutes(of a DEAD day-shift). She did save me money declining my drink. She also taught me about herself. She's blunt and feels entitled to tips for conversating. I suppose it helped me appreciate the job more- and how the good ones never let you know how much they really hate on customers.
So guys, if you're ever put into this position, i don't think it's worth it to stand on your high horse and make a point that conversations are a chance for the girl to sell a dance and make money, not tip-worthy in and of itself. Instead, pull out at least 5 bucks and say thanks, even if, no especially if, they do so in an insulting manner. You won't feel better sinking to their level. Don't let a rotten fish spoil the bunch.
TheC
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last commentI think @HarderLap and @GordieBoi approved this article my accident.
What is "Package", and how did it get two upvotes?
"good ones never let you know how much they really hate on customers" I sincerely believe that most dancers don't feel this way about PLs in general. I could be fooling myself, I suppose.
thanks for all the votes up/down- all the feedback is valuable and appreciated. I might enjoy checking out the discussion board. While I feel this has merit as thought provoking to club goers -to maybe not sink to the ROB's level- I am cool if the powers that be choose to move this elsewhere.
IWantHerOnMe - you are correct
I am typically a generous tipper.
But nothing turns me into a miserly bastard quicker than being asked for tips. Especially (and this is often the case) when I was already planning to tip her!
In your shoes OP, I would've given her the $5 or $8 or whatever, then I would've found someone else to chat with.
"Do you think I LIKE sitting here talking to you?"
👆 That is just like an immediately red flag. She's just completely busted the 4th wall here.
Good to hear your reply, RonJax2. I can't control her behavior, just my own. She was nervy to say that, and she'll have to live with that whenever the next time, if there is one. At that time, she won't be able to tell herself, "there's that cheap guy who wouldn't tip." Instead, she'll be reminded of her own bad behavior towards me. I'll know better and act accordingly, should she be bold enough to approach me. "No thanks. Not interested."
If the convo is only the basic Q&A back and forth for a couple minutes, then it's okay to dismiss her w/out a tip. If asked for one, I just say, "Not today, baby."
I've even cut girls off in mid-sentence to let them know I'm not interested in dances at the moment, so they don't get their expectations up. Occasionally they act upset, like "WTF, I was just gonna talk for a few." I'll just say that I'm letting her know, in case she'd prefer to make the rounds with other customers.
But, if you do chat w/her for a good 5-10mins beyond the basics, then flipping her a few tip dollars is no biggie in the grand scheme, and goes a long way. It's all part of participating in the hobby.
I think it was pretty poor of her dis me specifically, and poor form in general to request a tip for a ten minute convo. I didn't request her attention. So I knew full well that she was out of pocket. I would have been well entitled to tell her to eff off. But I resisted that urge because I know from experience it doesn't benefit me to be as small of a person. As you wisely state, Rod84, a few dollars isn't a big deal in the grand scheme, right? So, I play her dumb little game, dumb because it's the last bucks she'll ever get from this semi regular. Won't be fooled again. She revealed herself for the classless employee she is, and to my credit, I kept my composure. To me, that's well worth the ten bucks, and then some.
I might tip a dollar. if she has some appeal I might go two!