She's Pretty, You Like Her, but Why Won't You Buy Dances From Her?

My 2-cents - by no means am I a stripper whisperer.

First of all; sales-jobs are tough – and that is what stripping is – it is not easy to get people to part w/ their $$$ - the economy is still so-so – not terrible like a few years-ago; but by no means “on fire”.

“… But I can't sell lap dances unless I get someone who is specifically looking for a black girl …”

This actually should have been near the top of your post – a lot of AA dancers seem to find it hard treading in many clubs – for many it’s hard enough to even get-hired particularly at the more upscale places (I’m assuming you are working in a mixed club).

Everyone has their type – and when a custy goes to a club he goes looking for what he likes not what he can get.

In our society most people hook-up with folks of their own ethnicity - so it stands for that to be the case in strip-clubs also.

Some guys are into any type of dancer – but I’d guesstimate that most custies have a particular type dancer he likes and if you work in a predominantly white-club chances are most of the white-custies will be into the white-girls as it’s often the case in society in general.

Also – if dance prices are expensive in your club; e.g. $25+; then this can often be a “barrier to entry” – i.e. w/ high dance-prices custies are often more warry abut pulling the wallet-trigger and/or they wanna save their $$$ for the exact dancer they want.

Things you can do? If we had the answers for strippers to surely bank then we’d have to charge you for the advice – some things off the top of my head but by no means are they a sure-fire solution:

• be more straight-forward – being “too nice” can actually work against you – most SCers don’t go in looking for “nice girls” but women that will seduce them – e.g. kinda like if you as a girl are at a bar and a guy you find attractive talks to you but never gets around to asking you out or for your # even though you would have said yes – i.e. it’s up to you to close the sale, not the custy – you gotta convince him to wanna get a dance from you by other means than just being a nice-girl like in a Jr High dance

• accentuate your best/strongest features – often times black women will have banging bodies – i.e. show it off – as much as possible – if you have nice full-breasts – show as much of them as possible with tiny tops or push-up bras that will make them look irresistible – too many dancers try to dress “classy” or “cute” instead of provocative – now PLs are all over the place in terms of what they like; so if a guy is not into busty girls and you’re busty; then showing off your tits may not work on him (or it still may) – and some guys also prefer a dancer to look “classy” vs showing off flesh – but IMO for the most part if you got-it flaunt-it – kinda like advertising – you gotta let people know what you have

• you have to turn them on – as a saying in Spanish goes – “men fall in-love thru the eyes – and women thru the ears” – i.e. men are visual – rarely in reviews do I hear guys saying they got a hard-on or got dances b/c the dancer’s nails looked so great – sure that’s a nice thing – but nicely made up hair and nails will not make “most” guys horny enough to wanna part w/ their $$$ - tits and ass will, IMO.

• a popular saying is “a way to a man’s heart is thru his stomach” – that was probably a fat ugly bitch saying that :) – the way to a man’s heart is thru his penis – sorry to be so blunt – but I’m a man – if you don’t give him a hard-on then much harder to get him to part w/ his $$$ - guys love the stick-shift and that is often a way to defeat most of his defenses – wear a top showing major cleavage while you stick-shift him and that may open his wallet a lot faster

• I’d say be more slutty and less nice-girl – as the saying goes “nice guys finish last” and the same may also often happen to nice-girls in SCs

And lastly – it’s summer time and summer-time is often notoriously slow – you may also do better in a different type of club – try different clubs and see if another type may be a better fit.

Perhaps a simple way to seduce a custy; i.e. get him horny.

What makes your/former BF horny and wanna fuck you? – was it your nails and hair and being a “nice girl” – or was it being nasty and wearing provocative clothes and being sexually suggestive.

i.e. in your experience if you’ve been in relationships and know what turns guys on that they can’t resist to wanna fuck you, then that is the same strategy you can use w/ custies – i.e. if you know what makes your man/BF horny; then chances are that will make most custies horny.

i think the reason you're having trouble selling lap dances is because you're a black girl. i have absolutely nothing against black girls (i'm black myself) but black women, generally speaking, are not viewed as pretty as white girls. just look at the covers of magazines when you enter a grocery store of the women who are portrayed as pretty/beautiful.....they're all white.

if i find a dancer hot, and i like her, the only reason i won't buy dances from her is if the lap dances at that club are really over-priced

“… Customers tell me I smell good, my skin is so soft, I'm so pretty, they would marry me if they weren't already married, I'm the best looking girl in there (not true but i'll take it) my ass is perfect, my body is amazing....yet no one spends money on me …”

Damn woman – post some pictures:

Imgbox.com

PhotoBucket.com

“… When I finally DO sell a dance the person always ends up getting at least 1 more if not 4 or 5 more, or going to VIP with me …”

That makes me think you have a lot of sexuality and that “you can bring it” – seems you are able to turn-up the heat in the dance-room and get the custy hooked – now you gotta improve on “turning on the heat” in the main-room – i.e. you mention:

“… I make an effort to have a good fun conversation and pepper in some sexiness but I've been coming up dry …”

So is “fun conversation and pepper in some sexiness” what makes guys wanna get more dances or VIP from you once you are dancing for them? – i.e. you gotta find a way to incorporate what gets you more-dances in the dance-area into them wanting to get dances when interacting w/ them in the main-room – i.e. be sexy and desirable vs a “fun conversationist” – I never met a guy that wanted to fuck a chick b/c of her conversation skills – you gotta make guys wanna fuck you not think what a nice conversationist you are – you’d be better off engaging their lower head than their upper head, IMO.

First of all... what area of the country are you working in? Not to be insensitive (or captain obvious) the ethnic barrier is going to be different in different parts of the country. I can think of lots of areas of the country where an AA dancer is going to struggle.

Second... IMO it sounds like you are over-killing it on the dolling-it-up. Maybe you are coming across as "high maintenance" / "all looks, now show". Also, is it possible you are going so much beyond the other dancers that you are actually creating a situation where you appear to be a "fish out of water" where you aren't fitting in with the atmosphere?

First off, you can't win them all, especially as a black girl. Personally I tend not to find black girls attractI've to me, and the ones I do are usually biracial.

Dudes don't care about your fucking nails. Sometimes it's even "well that looks unpleasant on my dick". The "high maintenance look" is a gamble. "Trashy " and "girl next door" often sell more dances; the former look high mileage. The latter fulfil the fantasy of lost youth.

Black girls have the toughest road. The black girls at my club are some of the best talkers. I wish I was more into them. But I'm not.

Every PL has their type. Nothing you can do about it, especially when lap dances are $20 for 3.5 minutes of fun.

My CF is a gorgeous Latina who puts in a lot of effort into her appearance like you do. Nice hair, manicured nails, moisturized skin, smelling good, etc.

Well, I never have to compete with other PLs for her attention because she is not in high demand as the blonde strippers.

You can post a thread on the discussion board with respect to what city you're dancing in & ask which clubs TUSCLers think an AA girl could do well in.

The answer should have been obvious. Try an "urban" club or "ethnic" club.

As others have said.... you need to find a different club...

From a white guu who loves the ebony beauties: Ask right out of the box if they like chocolate. If they say yes, aak if they want a sample. Then you got them.

If she's pretty and I like her why WOULDN'T I buy dances from her????

I don't think her working in a black-club will necessarily improve her income - IME:

• not many upscale black clubs - most IME are dives where often times not a lot of $$$ is spent and IME most of the custies treat the place as a hangout spot and don't spend much - again this is just IME - I've noticed the black clubs in Atlanta custies often spend more and at the few upscale black clubs around the country custies also often spend well

• often times dances at the black clubs are cheaper - $5 and $10 vs $20 or $25 at the mixed-clubs - def not all black clubs are like this but a good # are so can be harder to make good $$$ especially if it's a club w/ spectators vs spenders

• IMO not every black dancer is cut-out to work a black-club - I've heard horror stories of black dancers in black clubs basically barely escaping w/ their lives at the hands of other black strippers in the club - not saying it's the norm but have def been told that

• some black dancers are tweeners in that they may be too black to do well in a white-club (too thick/curvy) or not black-enough to compete in a black club (thick/curvy but not thick/curvy enough)

By no means do I know for sure she won't bank in a black club - just saying it's not that easy and can often be harder.

Where I've seen AA dancers do well is in mixed-clubs where they may not have a hard-quota on AA dancers and a good # of the dancers (25 to 50%) are AA.

It's hard to tell what the problem is. I had a very nice looking girl approach me and I felt no connection.

In her case she talked to much and wasn't sexy enough. We became good friends and drinking buddies and I rarely got dances from her as a result.

I just read your other posts, I know why guys don't want to get dances from you. It's your attitude towards guys.....

I leave some girls alone at my favorite club because they have a reputation for low mileage dances. Are you meeting the competition or just trying to make it on your looks?

If I were you, I might try out a black club. You might stick out at a black club, and then you would get all the money.

Pontiacguy- that was burnout talking. I could take that article down I would. I was overworked and just grumpy. I've realized when I feel like that whether I want to or not I need to take a week or 2 off or travel.

To everyone else great suggestions and papi ur right I'm not "black enough" for black clubs and black men typically don't go for me. Let's just say they've nicknamed me ores at my club. I've always danced in upscale mostly white clubs and im not the only black girl in my club but I am the darkest.

In my experience I've always done better in the south believe it or not. I've found men usually want the opposite of what they have at home so white men in the south love me. I'm currently dancing up north and it's still the same just not as frequent. I will definitely try to bring the heat I bring in my dances to the main floor too

TC, one thing you could do to sell more dances is to come to the clubs I frequent. I love beautiful black girls and you sound scrumptious.

Another thing to keep in mind is the fact most of those here on TUSCL are on the top of their game and are very comfortable inside a strip club and dealing with naked women. Many SC customers are probably scared shitless of women in general. Add the fact you are nearly naked and beautiful, they could be intimidated by you. You may need to be more aggressive with some of these guys you encounter?

It's nice that you posted this here and the fact you did so instead of bitching on SW shows a positive attitude in itself.

When I go into a club I find a lot of girls fall into the same category, i.e. they are pretty and I like them. Unfortunately there's so many of them I can't get dances from all of them so my decisions are based on personalities and 'gut feeling' that I am either going to get a great standard dance or one that involves a degree of touching, preferably two-way. Colour and race doesn't come into it for me, a woman is a woman. One of the hottest girls I ever saw in Rhino was a black girl, not only was she gorgeous her body and personality were smoking hot, it took less than a second to decide once she landed on my lap for a chat.

Try not to get to despondent, keep your chin up and maybe with a little fine tuning of your approaches your success rate will go up. Keep in touch and let us know how you get on, either on the board or PM.

I will tell you what works and doesn't work for me. If a dancer comes over and asks for a VIP or couch dance without talking first, usually a turn-off. Once you do sit with a customer, your body language matters a lot. Don't cross legs away from him. Instead cross your legs over his, or even sit on his lap if the club lets you. Basically get some physical contact in fast. Ideally use your hands to rub my shoulders, arm or better yet rub my pants some. We aren't looking for a quick HJ but show the customer that if you will touch out on the floor the performance will be even better in back. Of course if you don't WANT to touch a cock through pants, then you might be in the wrong career. Go do cam shows. Also you have a powerful tool in your chest. Use your boobs to accidentally rub my arm, bounce into my hand or whatever. Again you can play it as accident but you know what you are doing. Now if you say this is way too much contact, then you probably don't want a couch dance. Also when you stage dance, make sure you pay attention to all customers. The guys throwing a lot of $1s at the rail may not be looking for couch dances. The guy who comes up and give you $1 tip and goes back to sit might just be looking for company. Also if you are in a nude club, don't be the one girl who doesn't go nude. Be on the leading edge of what is allowed not the trailing edge. Sometimes the trailing edge gets to give dances but once the guys figure out where mileage is, they go back for that. Also talk to the guys as if every topic he brings up is interesting. Even if it isn't. You are trying to give him a fantasy. Those are what get me to put up couch dance money.

the wrong shoes will turn me off and on. If you're smoking hot but wearing some GOD AWFUL stereotypical stripper shoes (high heeled stiletto clear shoes), then your looks went down to a 3 and you have a LOT of work to do. On the other hand, if you look alright but your hair is well done, you don't smell and your shoes are really really nice, you MIGHT have a shot with me if noone better comes along in the next 5 minutes.

I'm probably one of those guys giving a dollar or two away and telling that to some of the girls but not getting dances from them lol. To be totally honest with you first of all I'm trying to be nice and have a good time and two, I may also say that to what I see as my plan B most likely I put all my resources towards plan A, sorry that's just me.

I think stripping is a very unfair job to say the least. I know some girls start dancing at the clubs in the city and wonder the same thing when they were a Rockstar in the corner bar/stripclub in the suburbs, competition may be hard but unfortunately the one who looks more sexy (and a little slutty) to most guys is the one getting the dances :(

ive seen this struggle in the south eastside of clubs if its a strong white club, ive seen very sexy AA that cant make a dime. I would say look for clubs with a healthy mix of girls and custies. it seams more latin and AA men buy from AA girls. most white men like myself seem to keep to our heritage some being racist and others not.

trying to be honest but not offensive. good luck

I suggest a little physical contact, even just lightly touching his arm. If you can sit on his lap or put your arm around him even better. You don't have to grab his cock. I find if a girl asks me for a dance but keeps a polite distance from me, I am less likely to say yes but if a girl gets a litle too close and makes a little contact like even touching my arm or lightly caressing my leg, that will work.

@large - Touching the forearm psychologically makes humans much more likely to say "yes" based on a number of factors. I have used it many times when asking for a first date. I actually wrote a whole article in response to this and it was just published today (6/26/2016).

What do the other girls tell customers about you? When a guy tips you at the stage, how do you respond? Guys are looking to see what other guys are in for. If you're walking around to every customer and trying to work the crowd, sometimes that can backfire because it makes you look desperate. Yes, the customers bring the money but you are the star of the show. The other catch is the experience some of the people above commented on. Custies want to feel like they're getting special treatment. If you're simply running down the line then guys might get the impression they're a walking stack of bills to you. It spoils the illusion for some making them less likely to take a chance.

I go into a club with an amount of money. It's not unlimited. It dictates how many dances I can get. With this limit on the number of dances available for me to buy, I prioritize who I would like to get dances from in my mind as I watch them on stage. Often, these girls don't ever come around and ask for whatever reason. But I have this idea in my head about what girls I would really like to see more of as they do come around. And, my general preference is asian or white. Occasionally, a lady that I wasn't otherwise interested in comes along and warms up to me and gets me interested in her. (not always by stroking my junk). But it's kinda rare. Sometimes, especially at new clubs travelling, all the ladies there seem to ignore me, sticking to regulars, etc. And I would usually go for a dance with any lady that's at least kinda pretty, regardless of other preferences. But typically, I'm just more interested in asian or white girls, and can't afford to buy a dance from every girl that hot.

Like most have stated, try making more contact with them. A light rub on the back as you past by is a good thing. While you're there to make money, some guys are there to see if someone can get the money out of them. It's easy for me to just give every girl money but where is the fun in that. I'm there to relax. I usually tell the girl to come back later and she never returns. If you are not making money, why not return and see if they are ready for you now? And consider playing the long game. Maybe the first time you meet someone, set things up for the next encounter. Good luck. Hope things improve.

I strongly agree with Viking on why you are having a hard time: being black or more politically correct, an AA. The reason I found certain black people unattractive or downright offensive is not the color of their skin, but rather the way they talk and carry themselves. Before everyone rushed to accuse me of being a racist, I have high respect for Candoleeza Rice, Colin Powell, Neil deGrasse Tyson, the renowned scientist. I also find Beyonce, Rihanna and Halle Berry attractive and sexy. The opposite would be someone like Mel B, with her annoying and phony British accent and gestures. So it's really not a matter of race or skin color but rather the way a lot of black dancers approach patrons and the way they talk and act (ghetto!!!).

@oldlion888 I am not ghetto. at all! private school, college educated, only black girl in my entire neighborhood growing up. i'm the opposite of ghetto. it seems like thats what is actually working against me tho. The smart girl is usually not the girl thats gonna give you a $20 bj so they avoid me because unfortunately the town i dance in now is a very cheap town compared to previous areas I've danced. I've danced in the whitest most southern places you can think of and made bank. This is a more "northern" area and I don't do as well as the girls who are obviously on stuff.....sad reality. I've started "dumb" myself down, and not look as nice, less diamonds, less class, seems to be what sells here i guess.

Hi Tara, My comment was not directed at you at all. I have never met you and have no idea whatsoever what you look like, what educational back ground you have; where you have danced or are dancing right now. My comment was meant for some local black dancers here who behave rather obnoxiously and therefore "ghetto". If I offended you in any manner, my sincere apologies. Best wishes for a great career and a bright future.

Touch. bottom line. physical touch. contact.

My Reasons:

1. Waiting on someone that I already asked.. (And I am leaving after that see below)
2. I am at my budget limit for dancers.
3. You are not in the Atlanta Area.

I will agree that if you bring the heat and then ask, I can't say no. Touch, on the back a friendly hug, a smile/wink. make his heart race before you even say hello.

Went back and read some more. Me and the Emma Watson look alike over at Follies joke about the creepers that come in and lean against the wall close to the bathrooms. They don't get dances just hold the wall up and stare.

Oh I should have said I LOVE women with a dark since of humor.

Ok its really annoying when you guys have this mentality that black dancers can only work in Atlanta or in these hood clubs. I have NEVER danced in Atlanta or a 'black club'. I've made my most in Florida and South Carolina. I have no "hood" in me. I'm not "thick" enough for a black club and I"ve danced in SEVERAL states and made crazy good money. Its this particular region/ state that the guys are cheap because its not just me. Girls I'm working with are starting to feel it now too. I"m talking selling only one dance a night! These guys always say, "I just came in to watch the show and have a beer and then i'm leaving in 45 minutes." If the white girls can only sell one dance a night then I'm definitely not selling one.

I wanna know why guys think its ok to buy a $3 beer, tell me that you like the girl on stage, and when I recommend you go show her some love you say no. Think about it, the club charges each dancer a minimum of about $60. If you have 21 girls working in a Tuesday night and NO ONE makes it our club won't make us pay it, but they're gonna come up with the difference somewhere. I don't know this for a fact but I would say food and alcohol would get more expensive. Furthermore we're all getting jobs doing other things, clubs get empty, dancers stop dancing, your left with ugly crackheads that smell like b.o.

Ill give a couple of potential reasons. 1. Many times ive seen the best looking girls are the most mechanical, They are the ones who it seems its strickly business in the back. Not all times and apparently not for you but for many. 2. Often times dancers form opinions about customers, especially black dancers with black customers. I.E. all black customers want is a black girl with a butt. As customers we see trends just like dancers see trends. We may have a idea of what to avoid before we walk in and you have to break that idea. One of the biggest tips i can give is to have an edge to yourself. You can be nice but you have to show a sexiness, a freaky side; something to make us want to go for a dance. Holding a conversation is great but at some point, we want to know you can do more than hold a convo when it comes time for a dance.

Just a point or two. If he is not smoking, don't sit down and light up. He isn't smoking for a reason, and doesn't want it in his face/lungs A little contact is great. You don't have to put your hand on his junk, but don't be afraid to touch, or be touched. Of course if he gets a bit too handsy for you, say so. Don't be afraid to open up a bit. Talk about something, don't just sit there. Fake interest in what we are saying, or provide a topic of some interest to discuss. Anything is better than silence.

It is a shame you don't work in the Lexington area, you would make a killing. The AA dancers in this area are for the most part thick and a bit too ghetto for my taste. The couple of AA dancers I have seen in the area that are not thick and seem to be a bit less ghetto are so busy, I can't get them away from the regulars. Best of luck!