Strip Club Etiquette and Dating Advice

avatar for deejaymedstu
deejaymedstu
<p>
I have been to strip clubs in Albuquerque, El Paso, Tijuana, Miami, etc. I have realized many things over the years and will try to simplify everything I have learned based on my observations.</p>
<p>
First, shower and look decent when you go to a strip club. Many strippers compliment me that I smell nice and appreciate that I took the time to shower before I came. They tell me that many men come right after work and smell really bad.</p>
<p>
Two, respect them and they often take my hands and let me roam and explore their bodies and they often enjoy it themselves. An awesome stripper in Miami once told me, &quot;Thank you for not grabbing and squeezing my breasts very hard and actually hurting me. 80% of the guys that come in here actually hurt me and I can tell that you know how to treat a woman.&quot;</p>
<p>
Lastly, don&#39;t fall in love with one. Decide on how much money to spend and only take that amount, scope the place out, make eye contact with the women you want dances from, and leave a happy man. It&#39;s really that simple. I have some stripper friends and trust me that you do not want to date one. They are always, and I repeat, they are always trouble. You have no idea how many kids they have, where their baby daddies are, what drug they are addicted to (70% suffer from some form of addiction), if they are really trying to become a doctor or lawyer (most lie by saying this of course), etc. I have had some great conversations with maybe two strippers but they are not worth all the drama that always seems to follow them everywhere.</p>
<p>
Follow these simple rules and you will enjoy yourself and can just go on with life and find and marry an awesome woman later if you are willing to interact with many and really get to know them on a deeper level. How do you do this? Just strike up a conversation with one at the grocery store, in class, at a cafe, at a bookstore, etc. Then, establish some common interests, let her know that you have to go, and ask for her number if you are interested, and then get the heck out of there. It&#39;s that simple fellas.</p>

18 comments

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avatar for mjx01
mjx01
13 years ago
correct - don't fall in love with one
(oops, my bad!)
avatar for steve_ny
steve_ny
13 years ago
The girl at the grocery store, in class, at a cafe or bookstore is probably a stripper...
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
Not new info.
avatar for Rlionheart
Rlionheart
13 years ago
I like your rules but would add that no one likes to be characterized espescially if they haven't been given the chance to show what they are about. I mean: 70% of people like me are d.b.s.
What am I? I love a good conversation in the club. I've learned some things and have always appreciated folks' views on life, politics, etc. I go classes, cafes, etc for different reasons than I go to clubs, but learning and good conversations can occur anywhere.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
13 years ago
Fourth, wipe your ass after you shit. A shitty smell coming from the back of your pants can really turn off a stripper.

Fifth, don't piss in your pants - go to the club bathroom and use the damned urinal. She will really appreciate the fact that you don't smell like piss and that your lap is not wet, particularly when she's giving you a dance!

Sixth, don't stick your penis in any of her orifices unless she agrees to it. Seriously, some customers just don't seem to understand that it is NOT OK to fuck a girl in the ass without some advance notice.

Seventh, [insert any other obvious DO or DON'T here]

The bar for getting an article approved around here is so low that it can be stepped over. Then again, it is indeed possible that the editors let this through for its potential entertainment value, which I can understand. ;)
avatar for CTQWERTY
CTQWERTY
13 years ago
Yeah, don't forget: avoid drooling on the dancers!
avatar for JohnBuford
JohnBuford
13 years ago
I've learned that dancers appreciate it when I don't put on brass knuckles and smash them in the face a few times. Several have told me as well they're grateful that I don't have puss-leaking open sores and I don't threaten to mutilate them and their children.
avatar for steel3643
steel3643
13 years ago
8.When following a dancer home ,use extreme caution,and always carry a pimp stick with you.

avatar for zorro
zorro
13 years ago
I'm a lumberjack and I have noticed that the girls really appreciate it when I don't bring my chainsaw into the club and fire it up, though many have remarked how they enjoy my piney smell mixed with oil and gasoline. One girl told me that 80% of the lumberjacks that come to the club bring in running chainsaws.
avatar for jerikson40
jerikson40
13 years ago
Damn, you guys are FUNNY !!! No, really, I'm serious. You're just hilarious. And you come up with stuff nobody would expect.

I wanna take all you guys for a beer. Chainsaws? Puss leaking sores? DAMN, I really am rolling on the floor laughing.
avatar for Pdxgodfather
Pdxgodfather
13 years ago
I agree with all the comments .. But be respectful .. It can and get you a long ways in be remebered and taken care. Also be respectful of the bar staff and waitresses. A tip will go along ways in getting you taken care with drinks etc. Finally converse with the bouncers and management. A tip to the bouncers will leave a positive impression.
avatar for muchfun
muchfun
13 years ago
The one and only time I was asked if I date in (actual city) was after a day of travel 2 Flights of more than 12 hours no shower after (felt Little unconfortable myself but no pation going to hotel First) wearing old Jeans shoes and shirt being in VIP with her. I failed to say yes.
avatar for zorro
zorro
13 years ago
what?
avatar for malibucoconuts
malibucoconuts
13 years ago
I always forget the part about not being an asshole..damn. Oh and not falling in love with them..
avatar for malibucoconuts
malibucoconuts
13 years ago
I always forget the part about not being an asshole..damn. Oh and not falling in love with them..
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
13 years ago
There are a lot of messed up strippers, but there are a lot of messed up people in general. It's always hard to know if any particular group of people is more messed up than average, and not much point in knowing since it works better to deal with people as individuals. No matter how much a stripper tells you she likes you and how great you are, it's probably just part of the sales pitch. If she talks openly about herself, that's more of a sign that she likes you. Of course some people just like to talk about themselves, to anyone. If you want to ask a stripper out, sure, why not? But if she says anything other than yes, forget about it. "Maybe sometime" or "I need to get to know you more" most probably means "no, I prefer to focus on my loving relationship with your money".
avatar for trazail
trazail
13 years ago
@ ilbbaicnl how do you get a stripper to go out with you if you develop feelings for them? is it way you guys can tell that guy likes you beyond the stripper/customer relationship?
avatar for JuiceBox69
JuiceBox69
13 years ago
Rule #1 to be in love is not to be in love. Rule#2 not to be in love is to be in love
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