Strip Club Etiquette and Dating Advice
<p>
I have been to strip clubs in Albuquerque, El Paso, Tijuana, Miami, etc. I have realized many things over the years and will try to simplify everything I have learned based on my observations.</p>
<p>
First, shower and look decent when you go to a strip club. Many strippers compliment me that I smell nice and appreciate that I took the time to shower before I came. They tell me that many men come right after work and smell really bad.</p>
<p>
Two, respect them and they often take my hands and let me roam and explore their bodies and they often enjoy it themselves. An awesome stripper in Miami once told me, "Thank you for not grabbing and squeezing my breasts very hard and actually hurting me. 80% of the guys that come in here actually hurt me and I can tell that you know how to treat a woman."</p>
<p>
Lastly, don't fall in love with one. Decide on how much money to spend and only take that amount, scope the place out, make eye contact with the women you want dances from, and leave a happy man. It's really that simple. I have some stripper friends and trust me that you do not want to date one. They are always, and I repeat, they are always trouble. You have no idea how many kids they have, where their baby daddies are, what drug they are addicted to (70% suffer from some form of addiction), if they are really trying to become a doctor or lawyer (most lie by saying this of course), etc. I have had some great conversations with maybe two strippers but they are not worth all the drama that always seems to follow them everywhere.</p>
<p>
Follow these simple rules and you will enjoy yourself and can just go on with life and find and marry an awesome woman later if you are willing to interact with many and really get to know them on a deeper level. How do you do this? Just strike up a conversation with one at the grocery store, in class, at a cafe, at a bookstore, etc. Then, establish some common interests, let her know that you have to go, and ask for her number if you are interested, and then get the heck out of there. It's that simple fellas.</p>
I have been to strip clubs in Albuquerque, El Paso, Tijuana, Miami, etc. I have realized many things over the years and will try to simplify everything I have learned based on my observations.</p>
<p>
First, shower and look decent when you go to a strip club. Many strippers compliment me that I smell nice and appreciate that I took the time to shower before I came. They tell me that many men come right after work and smell really bad.</p>
<p>
Two, respect them and they often take my hands and let me roam and explore their bodies and they often enjoy it themselves. An awesome stripper in Miami once told me, "Thank you for not grabbing and squeezing my breasts very hard and actually hurting me. 80% of the guys that come in here actually hurt me and I can tell that you know how to treat a woman."</p>
<p>
Lastly, don't fall in love with one. Decide on how much money to spend and only take that amount, scope the place out, make eye contact with the women you want dances from, and leave a happy man. It's really that simple. I have some stripper friends and trust me that you do not want to date one. They are always, and I repeat, they are always trouble. You have no idea how many kids they have, where their baby daddies are, what drug they are addicted to (70% suffer from some form of addiction), if they are really trying to become a doctor or lawyer (most lie by saying this of course), etc. I have had some great conversations with maybe two strippers but they are not worth all the drama that always seems to follow them everywhere.</p>
<p>
Follow these simple rules and you will enjoy yourself and can just go on with life and find and marry an awesome woman later if you are willing to interact with many and really get to know them on a deeper level. How do you do this? Just strike up a conversation with one at the grocery store, in class, at a cafe, at a bookstore, etc. Then, establish some common interests, let her know that you have to go, and ask for her number if you are interested, and then get the heck out of there. It's that simple fellas.</p>
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18 comments
(oops, my bad!)
What am I? I love a good conversation in the club. I've learned some things and have always appreciated folks' views on life, politics, etc. I go classes, cafes, etc for different reasons than I go to clubs, but learning and good conversations can occur anywhere.
Fifth, don't piss in your pants - go to the club bathroom and use the damned urinal. She will really appreciate the fact that you don't smell like piss and that your lap is not wet, particularly when she's giving you a dance!
Sixth, don't stick your penis in any of her orifices unless she agrees to it. Seriously, some customers just don't seem to understand that it is NOT OK to fuck a girl in the ass without some advance notice.
Seventh, [insert any other obvious DO or DON'T here]
The bar for getting an article approved around here is so low that it can be stepped over. Then again, it is indeed possible that the editors let this through for its potential entertainment value, which I can understand. ;)
I wanna take all you guys for a beer. Chainsaws? Puss leaking sores? DAMN, I really am rolling on the floor laughing.