In Memoriam: Liquid Lapdance

2/4/2025 4:59:33 PM

Somebody will come up with a solution to any problem. One problem was dry lap dances that caused chaffing to the penis. In 2001, Wesley Johnson invented a lap dance liner, which would be commercially launched as Liquid Lapdance and hit the market in 2013. It was elastic underwear with a latex sleeve built into the front for an erect penis. The user would put lubricant in the sleeve and get a lap dance. The wet, sliding sensation that occurred while a dancer grinded gave the feeling of penetration and would cause the wearer to orgasm.

While the whole concept sounded silly, it was actually a way to make lap dances feel more like sex and less like a friction burn. Normal undergarments weren’t designed to have an erect penis inside. Since extras are not available at the vast majority of American strip clubs, Liquid Lapdance was a way to bust a nut off a normal lap dance. Ejaculation would occur and it would mean less money having to be spent on private dances over the course of a visit. The semen would be contained in the latex pouch. Liquid Lapdance underwear were designed to be cleaned and reused. The biggest risk to using the product would be if a dancer pulled down your pants and saw you wearing a bikini bottom with a latex bag attached to the front.

Liquid Lapdance lasted for about three years. The product disappeared off the market almost as quickly as it appeared. After being convinced by a prolific TUSCL user that Liquid Lapdance was a worthwhile product, I finally mustered the courage to order a 3 pack of Liquid Lapdance for $36. This was around 2016-17. I waited weeks for the package to arrive but it never came. I tried contacting support through emails and telephone calls but never secured a response. Through business registration, I tracked Liquid Lapdance down to a warehouse in Las Vegas. I drove by one day, and there was no activity. After a lengthy claims process, I was able to get refunded on PayPal. From what I could tell, Liquid Lapdance disappeared overnight without shutting down its website. If anyone who was associated with Liquid Lapdance is reading this article, please give us the scoop on what led to the ultimate demise of this unique product.

From what repeat purchasers of Liquid Lapdance have told me, the first batches of Liquid Lapdance were well-made with full elastic underwear. Later batches of Liquid Lapdance were designed differently. They were made with a bikini bottom that needed to be tied at each side. The quality of the later production model was not the same as the earlier production. Not finding a cost effective manufacturer for the product overseas may have led to Liquid Lapdance’s demise.

Liquid Lapdance had even designed vending machines to sell their product out of. Their goal was to have the vending machines placed in strip clubs. Ultimately, this idea did not work. Only one strip club ever put the vending machine inside their business. It is not hard to understand why. If guys are able to orgasm with Liquid Lapdance after just a couple songs, then the strip club is going to sell fewer lap dances and make less revenue per customer.

With the patent for a lap dance liner now expired, an adult toy company should pick up the design and manufacture a product similar to Liquid Lapdance. The company could sell it online and at physical adult gift shops. The demand for such a product may not be as high as other sex toys, but I would think it could sell around 10,000 or more units per year between serious strip club goers, bachelor party gag gifts and people like me who are just curious to try it out.