Comments by Subraman (page 2)

" Right now she doesn't have my cell number and I don't intend to give it to her. " This definitely won't work. As funontheside mentioned, you will need to be able to text each other, especially to check on whether she's still on, whether she'll be on time, why she isn't there, etc. This is not optional unless you just want to drive for no reason. Just get a google voice line so she can't reverse search it. Of course, no-text no-shows are common from strippers also, but at least this way you have a fighting chance.

Beat, a club hiring trans strippers who are not openly identifying themselves is absolutely despicable, potentially traumatizing to the men who do dances with those dancers if they figure it out, etc. This is a basic human decency thing -- the notion you didn't want to throw the clubs under the bus given the potential damage to customers is perplexing. That said, I see what you're saying now, you don't want your friends or yourself to get in trouble with the club... though how would anyone know it's you posting as Beat100? In any case, valid topic. I believe in general trans strippers could be out there

Yeah, not naming the club makes me doubt the whole premise -- that there's big clubs hiring trans dancers. If a club were letting TS dancers pass, that's a pretty despicable thing to do to your fellow customers; I can't imagine a customer not naming the club for fear of "throwing the club under the bus". It just doesn't ring true that a man would just let this go. But the discussion is otherwise totally valid, there's been reports of trans dancers here and there through the years, and I wonder whether younger men are more accepting of it.

You can say the name of the stripclub. In fact you SHOULD, it is in the interest of us all to let other guys know

On SA there's definitely trans SBs, you can tell because they put it in their profile somewhere. I suppose there might be some who don't identify themselves as trans, but I've never (knowingly) ended up on a meet with any. I likely wouldn't go to a strip club that had trans strippers, even a single trans stripper. If it became the norm I'd likely just retire my lapdance underwear and stick to SA. At least I think that's what I'd do. I'm surprised there's any SC with trans strippers. Which exact strip club are you saying this is? It would be a service to identify it.

This thread makes me realize I've somehow adopted the genz sexwork definition of sexwork! Here's one definition of sexworker I found on the internet, which is solidly the way genz and millennials use the term IMO: "Sex workers are adults who receive money or goods in exchange for consensual sexual services or erotic performances". Forget strippers. Many bikini baristas identify themselves as sexworkers (at least on the gram. I follow many of them for, uh, research purposes). And since the real reason for their business is not coffee, it's the "erotic performance" that guys are there for, I think they're right, at least by zoomer/millennial definitions. Yes, strippers are sexworkers, even strippers in an absolutely-no-touching bikini bar, by that definition. And I expect the above definition is what all the younger folks use.

#IstandwithBigDon

I've never been in a club where Cubans have taken over, but reading years of discussion, nicespice's explanation fits the discussion perfectly. In particular, we as customers often tend to explain things based on how everything affects us, but the motivations for managers hiring them, the way Cuban stripper radio lets one dancer broadcast that there's a good club to come to, etc., all seem to make sense

I've basically given up on pre-paying, as I said -- deja vu has a monopoly in this area and every club (at least the ones I go to) require pre-paying. But paying the attendant somehow makes it even worse. There's only one club that does that, and it's the reason I haven't gone back

"Also, each review should try to stand on its own and not require that a reader flip through a bunch of reviews to get information." Ish, this is where I definitely part ways with many of you. Having each review re-hash the same things, over and over, makes the reviews more ponderous and makes it slower to get info, not faster. There's no such thing as a guy going into the reviews, reading a single review, and saying "ah, this is the club for me". Everyone reads a bunch of reviews, and then skims a whole bunch more, so it's never necessary any review stand on its own. In short, not only is it not true that "no one wants to read a bunch of reviews", in fact everyone DOES want to read a bunch of reviews before committing to a club, that's humans read reviews, we all know one reviewer could be biased a certain way. And as a practical matter, we're not going to get a dozen reviews without a single one that describes the interior (as if most of us can't figure out the interior when we get there anyway -- only thing actually useful is anything special about the layout "the booths in the back are where you can get extras" etc). In short, if you want to make things most efficient for the VIPs who are reading reviews to make a decision, reviews don't need to stand on their own since they'll always read a bunch. By-rote interior layout is about as useless info as you can get, except to verify that you were actually there, but there's other ways to verify that too.

Anyway to bring it on home: In the low-touch, video-monitored, and heavily-bouncer-patrolled clubs I go to most often, if I asked a stripper her rules before our very first dance, there is a 0% chance she'll give me permish to go two knuckles deep anywhere in her. Will never happen. Checking with her during the dance is simple and effortless and easiest way to get permission for things she would never have agreed to pre-dance (or pre-dances, plural, since I might do multiple VIPs before I ask for more)

Fuck yeah bro! 🍻 You buy me a shot I'll let you smell my finger 🤣

Plot twist: that wasn't a splinter

What I like to see in reviews differs from the majority here, so it may be a bad sign that I completely agree with you. This is one of the most useless parts of reviews, but pads the review and may make it more likely to be approved. Others have pointed out to me that with so many people writing ambiguous and downright fictional reviews just to get VIP members, things like club layout can help prove that customer was actually there rather than manufacturing a generic review, which is a point I concede. To me that's the only reason to have club layout descriptions at all, unless there's something special about the layout

"I have never stuck a finger up inside a stripper's vag during a dance. That's just so predatory and I wouldn't want to hang with any guy that does this. Not only unhygienic, but very rude." Ha, I've done it more times than I can count. Got fingers in strippers assholes too, so I am DEFINITELY not the guy you'd want to hang with🤣🤣🤣. Here's the thing though: if I don't get consent, I don't do it. You can obviously set your own limits and preferences, but you don't get to set anyone's else's. If the stripper is fine with it, it's not predatory or rude, it's a consensual act between a sexworker and customer, for which the sexworker feels fairly compensated.

"This. I might phrase it differently, "I will not try to touch your sex, is there anything else I need to know?" And proceed gently" For me, I DEFINITELY want to touch her pussy if she allows it, so I don't want to give her any leading statements on her own boundaries. In fact, that's one of the reasons I'd rather just handle this in real-time during the dance, rather than before. I continue to believe that before, she'll give you her lowest-common-denominator rules, but the girls can and do call an audible during the dance if she feels you're being respectful of consent.

IMO it's on the customer as far as contact levels, unless her rules are so restrictive vs the club norm that no customer would have been able to tell in advance. Like if it's a light touch club where all the girls allow waist or thigh touching during a lap dance, and she's the one exception who doesn't allow even that, she'd better say it or expect most customer to assume that's ok. I never ask a stripper what her rules are in advance. Strippers very rarely just volunteer what her rules are in advance either. I don't find this very confusing or difficult to navigate. It leaves it up to the customer to either seek verbal consent or to move his hands slow enough that she can stop them or just dance away. Different customers have picked different approaches, both are arguably fine, and it's on the customer to take no for an answer from there .

My social credit score went up 3 points once I succumbed to prepay-only. So who is laughing now?

In my favorite local clubs you have to pre-pay, so I do so... otherwise, I'd just have to give up SCing. But I definitely understand why guys wouldn't want to prepay in a club where it's optional. And in a club where the norm is to pay afterwards -- I've been in plenty of those -- it can be a downright red flag to be with the one stripper who demands pre-payment. Anything off the norm is a reason to reconsider. I will say that in the clubs that I go to that went from post-payment to pre-payment-only (basically all the local clubs), there was no real difference in dances from what I can tell. The clubs take most of the dance money so the girls are still motivated by tips and repeat dances. I'd love to find a reason to complain, but I can't. I would still be cautious if a stripper demanded pre-payment in a club that has a post-payment norm, the same way I'd be cautious if a stripper broke with other club norms (e.g., she charges extra for more contact that most strippers just include).

"I suppose one's preference could be based on what they are not used to seeing." You're mis-reading this. We're all hot for latinas (well, most of us). But Cuban dancers specifically have a reputation for high pressure hustle that many goes don't enjoy. We don't have any here so no experience myself.

"I absolutely do not ever speak clearly and directly about what will happen in a room though" I actually don't either... when I mentioned that, I really meant in the case of extras, when I do. Otherwise, as I said, I've vetted her for quite a while at the table, I just take her to the VIP. Even if the VIP is just average, we've spent time together, I've had fun for an hour, not a big deal. I don't ask her limits or what will happen in the VIP unless extras are involved, then I'm clear and direct

Agree that vetting via reading a review then pre-negotiating over IG will often yield poor outcomes 🤣 Vet in person, speak clearly and directly (but respectfully) about what you'd like, etc. I've adopted a vetting strategy that's a bit different -- I only do VIPs so don't vet via lapdances, but instead have her sit at the table and spend some time drinking and carrying on with her. If I had a great time with her, she's vetted, and it's off to the VIP. This has worked better for me than doing lapdances, but just a personal style/preference thing. I also am firmly bought into the idea of YMMV -- some guys have over-romanticized strippers into being automatons whose every move is calculated perfectly -- another reason to vet in person, build a little faux trust in advance, etc

"On the chat, IME I’d buy her a drink and maybe 4$ as an overall average per song if her chat and behavior is pleasing. Whether it hits the VIP level is an open question we will discuss and I’ll eventually decide. But that amount of tipping IMO is appreciating her time is money but also appreciating that this is easy money for her, and where she can at anytime without issue say “thank you for the drink” and move onto better business opportunities. " Not saying there's a definitely right or wrong, but the "appreciating her time is money" thing is not really applicable. Everything I said appreciates her time is money, too, such as doing enough VIP dances that she's happy with the total take for all our time together including the 2 hours of chatting. Once in a while, we talk for a while and I decide I actually don't want to do a dance with her, and then I tip her all at once for her time. The way you do it, and the ways I do it, appreciate her time too! I just choose not to do the pay-as-you-go plan

Anyway, point is: whether you tip or not for time, and how much, will likely depend on how busy the club is and whether or not she believes you'll cover her time. There's no formula of "x% of a dance"

I tend to sit with a stripper, have drinks and often offer to buy lunch, for quite a while before we do VIP dances. I don't tip during this time. BUT: she has to be happy with the total I spent on her for the total time she spent with me including that hour talking. That said, the big things here: 1. I'm a known quantity at my regular clubs. The girls know exactly what I do and that I'll take care of them in VIP dances. Sometimes a total new girl will come up, and after a while I'll assure her we're doing VIP dances afterwards, which seems to be good enough given I typically go on slow dayshifts anyway. Which leads to: 2. I go on slow dayshifts. It's not uncommon I'm one of few or even the only customer buying VIPs. I've sometimes been at the club for hours and not seen any stripper do a single VIP, just lapdances, except for my stripper. This tilts the amount of time a stripper is willing to spend way higher. IME the girls' expectations line up with opportunity cost. Busy Saturday night and none of the girls know you? You're probably tipping, often, and a lot. Slow dayshift and the girls know you? You have to be borderline mentally deficient to think you need to tip some % of what dances cost, given that she would not have sold many or any of them anyway. I talk with a stripper for an hour and then do some VIP dances, she's 4x ahead of every other girl over the same total period of time.