what to expect otc
TL;DR Gave a dancer a ride home last night and she said I could meet her today OTC. First time with OTC so not sure what to expect. Any advice is welcome.Met a hot-as-hell dancer a bit ago and got a great dance and some good conversation. On my next visit, last night, was happy to see her again and got another great dance. Afterwards we got to laughing and talking a bit, and turns out we were heading the same way after the club closed, which was a decent distance away. She asked if I could give her a ride home and I agreed. We split for the last 30 minutes of the night and watched each other give (her) and get (me) dances to/from other people in the club. We left and had a weird talk along the way where she was telling me a bit about her new business and then switching to talking about what happened after you die. I think she may have been a bit tipsy. I wasn't trying anything physical with her and she wasn't offering, but it was a fun little conversation and a good time. At the end of the ride, I told her I didn't expect anything, but asked if this was going to go anywhere, and she gave me her number and said I could come back and see her tomorrow, that's today. She has a kid and asked me to stop by her place while he was at school. Typically, I wouldn't be available for such a meet up, but I'm in a special circumstance where I am free for most of the day.
We didn't talk about specifics other than me saying that I'm in a bit of a situation where this was going to be something on the downlow, and she understood. So my question to you all is, what should I be expecting here?
I still feel relatively new to this hobby, and I mostly agreed to give her a ride because 1. it really was close to where I was heading anyway, and 2. I was just curious to see what might happen, and if, at the end of the ride, she told me to bug off, I would have been fine with it and called it a small adventure from my otherwise mostly boring, staid life, and probably would have felt mostly relief. Now I really don't know what I'm going into. I'm not sure if this is a date or if this is more of a continuation of last night where I'm paying for some extras. I know I should have clarified, but I was so dumbfounded that I was in the situation at all, that I just didn't. I know, I'm an idiot, but what do you all think?
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Also, it's very unusual for a dancer to trust a customer she just met to drive her home. So, also consider that you might not be dealing with someone who makes great decisions. That might factor into whether or not *you* want it to be a date or stick to something more transactional.
Nobody can really tell you what to expect with any reliability. We don't know this woman and you didn't nail it down. I'm assuming that you'll call her before you head over. That sounds like a good opportunity to ask about her expectations versus yours.
I know that I wouldn't go into a stranger's home (and she is essentially a stranger) without knowing what I'm getting into.
Ishmael-Yeah, this makes a lot of sense. I don't really have any expectations. If she wants to go out to eat, we can do that. If she just wants to get to business I'm down for most of that. I really just want to spend some more time with a sexy girl with no strings attached. If that's just talk, or just making out or more, or even if she just bails, I think I'll be ok.
Ski-Yeah, I'm concerned about this, but here's the thing: We all do this for different reasons. Part of what I get out of it is getting out of my stultifying routine. I mean, if I get there and there are signs of actual danger, I'll get out, but while the chances of that are not 0, I don't think they are that high. The danger is part of the thrill, I guess? It's dumb, right? I think it'll be ok. Thanks for looking out though.
Sounds to me like you are in for some fun.
It's called being thirsty for some puss. At least you're driving there and not relying on her knowing how a clock works. I just had to fire two girls who greatly overestimated their appeal after fucking up my schedule two days in a row. Usually I don't ghost dancers, but this is a "special circumstance" lol.
I will play along and comment on your discussion:
Q: what to expect otc?
A: Nobody knows; even her, probably, doesn’t know what she really means/wants, because she was “a bit tipsy”…
The TUSCL Glossary definition of OTC is:
Outside The Club - Meeting with a dancer for anything from an after work snack at Denny's to a dinner date to an escort session. Not usually approved of by the club or by many dancers.
However most people in TUSCL expect/want some kind of sexual contact/relationship, who doesn’t?
You have to decide, in advance, if you are interested in her for an OTC “relationship”, as a one night stand, “escort”, sugar baby, girlfriend, future mother of your kids, kept woman, 🏆 trophy wife, dinner date, etc etc etc
In my humble opinion and limited experience OTC with sex (full service) happens maybe 50% of the OTC times, however the ultimate goal of a heterosexual healthy man is to have sex with a female he finds attractive.
According to Sigmund Freud
“Sex is a prime motivator and common denominator for male humans...”
Even today Oversexualized & Sexually Repressed American culture/society. persists in sending men and women mixed messages about their sexuality.
We want women to be objects of sexual desire, yet we expect them to be pure...
The reality is that, just like men, women have a natural and healthy desire to be sexual. Yet women are less likely to reveal their sexual desire. American society encourages women to push their sexual desires down.
I will said once more; although OTC has many interesting experiences that are individual and unique, the ultimate goal for men, even if they are repressed and have guilty feelings, is to have sex, healthy heterosexual man have sexual fantasies about women all the time.
Is interesting than in our sexualized society, cultural suppression of female sexuality is one thing that exists.
Women are in denial of the fact that most men want to have sex with them, and continue to put them in the “friend zone”…
Going back to your expectations, you should have a very good idea, gut feeling about what you might expect, she has a kid and a new “side” business and she trusted you to drive her to her house.
It is definitely up to you to pretend to be the man in the relationship and decide what you want it to be and express it clearly and since you said you want something in the “down low” you should expect paid-for-sex with no strings attached.
Make sure you “pay her for her time and compassion” and everything else (sex) is something that happens because you both like each other and is not being paid for.
Make sure she feel desired and be a gentleman and make her have a couple of orgasms first.
What other consenting adults do in the privacy of their OTC encounters should be nobody else business.
Good look and remember
Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen.
:D
But that's water under the bridge now. Though speaking of money, it's important that you are clear on expectations before you hook up with her. When you're ready, you might want to send her a simple text like "Hi [ ]. Are you still interested in meeting up today? Also, mind if I ask what you need for that?" and see what she says.
Now assuming she's still game, it's 50/50 that she's going to either give you a number or ask you to come up with one. If she gives you a number you're comfortable with, they go yee forth. If she gives you a number that is too high, or asks you to come up with one, circle back to us with the specifics, along with your general geographic location, and we can give you advice on how to respond.
Good luck!
1) Chances are she is going to expect financial compensation for her time with you. That could be just a little if she is looking to get lunch and then do some standard dances for you or a lot if she is down to fuck.
2) Young women, especially strippers, can be unpredictable and unreliable at times so the meet up may never happen or at least not as planned.
Of course she could also just be wanting a free ride back to work today once the babysitter gets there and she is looking at you as her new personal chauffeur where the only thing it costs her is some friendly conversation.
My advice: never "loan" them money, it's always a mistake. Don't pay in advance so they can get high. Don't be a captain.
You're going to need her number if you want to contact her WHEN she flakes (not if). It may even start with today, when she's not home when you arrive at her home.
Quite trusting on her part to allow a custie to know where she lives.
And, quite trusting on your part to enter her home. What are you going to do when you get a surprise visitor?
This definitely won't work. As funontheside mentioned, you will need to be able to text each other, especially to check on whether she's still on, whether she'll be on time, why she isn't there, etc. This is not optional unless you just want to drive for no reason. Just get a google voice line so she can't reverse search it. Of course, no-text no-shows are common from strippers also, but at least this way you have a fighting chance.
Wait... what? So, were you intending to just show up at her house during school hours and hope she'd be fine with that? That's got a pretty high chance of ending in evening news coverage. Certainly local; possibly national.
If you're going to do any sort of OTC, then you need some sort of burner number. Google Voice, an app, whatever. I'd say that's not optional.
Part of me is relieved this didn't work out and would like to move on to less risky things, but the other part of me, the part that is going to win, is going to arrange for a hidden number text and see what's going on for tonight. Chances are it won't work out either, but we'll see.
Just to clear a few things up:
wall - that thirst is a given, but I can, and do, ignore that call if it puts my livelihood at risk. Though technically it was a work day, I didn't have anything really scheduled during the time she outlined and should have been free until I got that call. I didn't want to talk business in front of her, and I was expecting the call to be shorter than it was so I didn't make it. It was frustrating, but a fair trade.
cj-Nice sex positivity. This is part of why I was asking the question in the first place. I know the prevalent attitude here is that the dancers just want the money, and I get that, and don't see any less of them for it. However, I also know they have their agency, and even if she expected money, she still thought enough of me to let me see where she lives, which wasn't the nicest place place in the area, but far from the worst, and that showed some trust. Even for all that, I don't want a real relationship from her, but maybe a bit more human connection that doesn't exist in the club. I don't always want that, but cool if it happens in small doses.
licker-I can't speak to this. I know addiction is a terrible thing, and I really don't want to get mixed up with that. She was a little giggly and bouncing from topic to topic on the ride, but it was harmless, at least for now. I'll keep out a weather eye for any other signs if I ever see her again.
I'll keep you all updated if anything more comes of this. Thanks for the thoughts everyone!
Text her asking what you should bring. Then if she doesn't take the hint, ask how much cash to bring.
You're likely in for a nice GFE encounter.
You can have a good time at an AMP for the cost of one short VIP session or less. May not be the prettiest masseuse but she'll make you feel alright.
A normal person would have reached out to her in advance to confirm that everything was still good and to perhaps sync up on expectations. Also, if there was already an agreed upon meeting time, he would have let her know if he was running late for any reason so that she could choose to cancel or reschedule instead of being ghosted.
But not you. First your paranoia prevented you from doing the right thing in reaching out to her even though you had her number. But as if that wasn't enough, you then doubled down by showing up at her house, where she lives with her kids and potentially others, unannounced later in the day.
Idk, but I don't think that stripper OTC is right for you at this point in your life. You lack both the stones and the judgment to make it work.
Some people have the impression that I dropped her off at her single-family home, which is an interesting assumption, and one I wasn't going to correct because it's not that important, but since it's become a thing - I dropped her off at her apartment complex where she purposely neglected to show me which building was hers in an effort to maintain her own privacy, I would think. We agreed to meet near where I dropped her off which was basically a grassy sort of park-like area in her complex. When I went late to our meeting, I went to that area; I wasn't knocking on the door of her house. There were actually some other people just hanging around the area the whole time too. I spent some time waiting, in case she might have tried to come back. And it wasn't hours after our meeting time, just long enough that I think, if she had been on time, she might have bailed after waiting some for me, but not so long that I thought there might have been a chance she would still be there.
It's possible she was never there or never even intending to be there, but after doing the risk/inconvenience to reward calculus I decided to try it out anyway. I lost out this time, maybe I'll be better prepared in the future.
"I don't think I was as rude or creepy as you are anyone else might be thinking."
No, it was actually pretty rude to no show without warning if she really did go to meet you. But strippers flake often so why not customers? And you did make it sound clueless and somewhat creepy lol.
"I left some details out of my original narrative for brevity's and privacy's sake."
Brevity, OK. Privacy? None of us care who you "really" are and describing whatever low rent shithole she lives by isn't going to tell us anything about you. All your reviews are basically in different towns so again thats going way overboard.
"I think a lot of guys on here could understand why you wouldn't want to give a stripper your personal information"
Yeah. And multiple dudes already told you about ways to give a number you can use that isn't really yours. Any stripper who can trace who you are through an internet number shouldn't be a stripper.
"It's possible she was never there or never even intending to be there"
I would bet actual money she wasn't there, because like Rick said she was probably angling to sell her body that night and you blew it. Don't feel bad. One of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life was trying to get me to take her from the club to a hotel in Columbia, SC. Totally went over my head because I was young in monger years and trying to get her goods ITC. After I'd been doing the whole club thing a while longer it dawned on me what I missed out on and I did an instant face palm lol.
The creepy comes in when a guy shows up stalker style at the home of a woman without advance notice,, not to mention she has children at the home, that would be
frightening to any woman I imagine.
I'll also note again that the dancer got a ride to the place where she and her kid lives from a strip club customer she didn't know at all. So, it wasn't exactly a night showcasing best practices by anyone.
^ This. Not trying to offend you or anything, but this is the most sound piece of advice in the thread. It's no big deal, we've all made mistakes. But you probably need to slow it down a bit and stick to the part of the pool where you can touch the bottom before jumping back in the deep end.
All it would have taken is a simple google search of how to create an internet number, and you could have contacted her within an hour of getting her number.
"I spent some time waiting, in case she might have tried to come back."
So you thought she would just hang out in a random section of her apartment complex in the off chance that you would come a bit late?
And about Google voice. While signing up for it, it asks to connect to your cell and even if it's hidden from the girl's side, it's still ringing and tracking on your side. This is not acceptable in my situation. Other less trackable text/ voice services either can't accept replies or require payment with a credit card, which is also traceable. If you can't imagine
If you can't imagine why a guy wouldn't want things traceable on his own side, then bless your heart and go with god, I love you. To that end - is there a service that is free and easy to conceal? Open to suggestions.
So I still have her number so if I can ever figure out a good scrambled texting service I'll get back to her.
It's fine. You didn't know what you were doing. We've all been there.
I would also suggest that you have these meets in a neutral location (a hotel) and not her place or yours. At least in the beginning.
I'd be surprised if iPhone doesn't have something similar.
Not gonna lie, after your initial post I was thinking the odds of you actually making the OTC meet happen was low.
When getting OTC pussy, you have to negotiate 3 important things with the dancer: Price. Duration. And Rounds. The price is obvious, how much she is willing to have sex for vs how much you're willing to pay. A good range I'd say is between $200 and $300. If she demands anything over $400, she is probably overcharging.
Duration. Ask her how long the fun will last. Most dancers will offer an hour or two. But depending on your schedules, you might have to shorten it to half an hour. The important thing is you don't want to rush it.
And lastly is how many rounds will she give you. By rounds I mean how many times you can fire your gun. So if you have a "sensitive trigger", you should definitely ask for at least 2 rounds (or for 1 hour so if you shoot your load under 5 minutes, you'll have time to go again). But just know that some girls will charge extra for another round.
First, get a secure way to communicate so that you don't run into these challenges again. You're hardly the only guy with a SO looking to get a little side ass.
Second, maybe focus on arranging same night OTC until you get a few of these under your belt. They are the simplest to arrange as the girls are already out and looking to earn. I have no doubt that the girl you drove home would have said yes if you offered her an earning opportunity that night. Always be ready to strike when the iron is hot, lol.
Third, everything that Mike Rotch said above, do the opposite, lmao. Well, maybe not everything, but just keep it simple on the price negotiation front. You're probably going to overpay a little in the early days until you figure out your local market and that's OK. You'll figure it out eventually. But unless you are in one of the large metro markets (NYC, L.A., maybe Dallas, etc.), consider holding the line at $400-500 until you're understanding of the local market is better. But I wouldn't engage in time/round negotiations as it will make some of them less inclined to see you OTC - they are strippers, not STG girls.
Finally, find a discreet way to finance this stuff, including paying for hotel rooms. Again, you're hardly the only guy looking for side ass. A lot (or most) of these girls can't host. You'll need a bank account and a card that do not track back home in order to capitalize on potential future opportunities.
In any event, good luck.
Use cash. No need for a second bank account IME. No need to have any digital trail of your activity.
I have never pre discussed time involved or rounds. But you should figure out expected $ ahead.
3131, he has a SO at home and he has an employer, which means that his paycheck is direct deposited. So there is already a digital trail every time he withdraws a large sum of money, which his SO would probably see at some point.
The idea of a second bank account is to be able to divert a discreet amount of his paycheck elsewhere and have a mailing address which is somewhere other than his house. So when he rents a hotel or withdraws play money, it's not coming from an account attached to his home. This is the only way that I was able to play on the side before I started my own business.
Every point raised by others is miraculously rendered invalid by things you "left out". How convenient.
Google Voice is convenient as fuck, but not all that "secure". You can turn notifications and incoming calls off an on anytime you want, so things don't ring through. And given that your phone carrier knows pretty much exactly where you are at any given time while you're carrying your phone, even if you're using a VPN, other apps aren't going to be any more "secure" either.
"I was just curious to see what might happen"
Don't make plans that you can't follow up on. That's rule #1. Strippers can flake because strippers. Customers flake or do other weird shit and that gets around. You can get blacklisted fast at the club.
"...if, at the end of the ride, she told me to bug off, I would have been fine with it and called it a small adventure from my otherwise mostly boring, staid life, and probably would have felt mostly relief."
You need to think about whether you actually self-sabotaged on this. There's been a lot of debate on the TUSCL forums about whether its a brag board or a place to speak some version of truth. Not everyone's a fan of sharing their outtakes, but if you read enough here you'll see them. Escorts and straight up hookers are like the kiddie pool. Taking strippers out of their natural habitat is something altogether different, and not something you do just because you're bored.
The hobby is something you go into because you want to up your consumption of hot chicks doing freaky things. ITC is enough for most dudes, unless there's something they like that is hard to do in the club. OTC gets you more options but that is really the only upside. Almost everything else about it is downside with most girls, unless she likes you enough to put up boundaries between her drama and your situation OTC. With my older lineup I don't think I appreciated that enough until I tried to replace them with these 20-something chickenheads.
"Now I really don't know what I'm going into. I'm not sure if this is a date or if this is more of a continuation of last night where I'm paying for some extras."
Luckily for you TUSCL was here to disillusion you and to call you names lol. It's not a date. You'll know when it's a date. Best thing you can do with where you're at is not to try and date strippers. That's probably not what you want.
Get confident with that until you sort out if OTC is right for you.
So when you eventually draw the line, and she starts giving you lip or drama for any reason, cut that bitch loose. Remember, you are the hand that feeds, and when they bite that hand, you gotta put these thots in their place. Even if it causes them to leave. Don't fucking worry about "oh she's gonna spread negative things about me now" So fucking what? There will be other clubs, and new strippers, and many more thots that gladly do OTC with you. Strippers are 100% replaceable and don't you ever forget it.