Sex Worker

sinclair
Strip Club Nation
I was chatting with a very attractive 21 year old over drinks on a somewhat slow evening at the club. She kept referring to herself as a ‘sex worker’ in conversation, which I thought was weird since most dancers refer to themselves as ‘dancers’, ‘strippers’, or ‘entertainers’. I always envisioned a sex worker as more of street walker or drug addict who couldn’t make any money any other way, but selling sexual favors. This 21 year old said she was a ‘sex worker' because all of her income is derived from her sexuality: stripping, Onlyfans, and camming. I asked her what kind of money she was pulling, and below is what she told me. I assume these figures were after fees were taken out.

She referred to Onlyfans as passive income. Throw some pictures and videos up, and you get what you get with little effort. Onlyfans: $650 in a year.

She said camming on Chaturbate is highly variable and requires long hours. Chaturbate: $180 in one day.

By far stripping was her biggest money maker. Stripping: $400 to $2,000 per night shift.

I guess she is a sex worker by definition, but nothing she was doing actually involved the act of sex. When I mentioned things like extras, takeout, and being a sugar baby, she was repulsed by the idea that other girls her age were actually having sex to make money.

35 comments

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nicespice
2 years ago
Cue Dave_Anderson barreling into this thread to get mad at the phrase “sex work” for the upteenth time

Yeah strippers have identified with the label for several years now. Full service sex work (FSSW) is considered its own category
Tetradon
2 years ago
Usually I hear "sex worker" used in her definition of the word--anything from a fetish model to a stripper to someone who gives $20 BBBJs in gas station bathrooms, wherein one monetizes one's sexuality.

But even if he "boundary" is a real one, the need to separate herself from "those people" is hilarious and arbitrary. I'm not a sugar daddy but it sounds here like a lot of them don't think their money-for-sex trade isn't prostitution because he buys her dinner.

A good friend's _very_ promiscuous female friend once said "I'm not a slut because I never bang multiple guys in a single day." I was thinking "it's like being an alcoholic, if you have to arbitrarily rationalize why you aren't one, then you are."
Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
Her definition matches what I've seen being used in a variety of places.

Some of it has been driven by the (slowly) increasing acceptance / normalization of working in the sex industry and "sex work is work" movement. So, her definition is pretty widely accepted.
mogul1985
2 years ago
I guess some people like to "self-identify" with what they think they are. My question has always been at some point your body that you offer for strangers/customers to enjoy does have a limited life span a lot shorter than say an electrical engineer or even a steel worker. Unless these "sex workers" (catch all) know how to save for their sooner than they realize "retirement" they are in deep kimchee.
mogul1985
2 years ago
I've also wondered how much is taxable/declared income, and how much is the undeclared $$$$.
MadMaXXXNYC
2 years ago
Pivoting from the sexwork/tax/definition chat for a moment. And I assume you would have posted if you had it, or wanted to, but any chance of sharing her CB room name? Thanks. If you'd like, I'd be happy to rain tips with no explanation, or a private one if you want to let me know what to say.
peace
captainfun
2 years ago
I watched a bit of the PornHub documentary on Netflix but grew bored with it quickly. The subject was fine and didn’t bother me; I just didn’t find it very entertaining. The cam girls in the program refer to themselves as sex workers.

I think of someone using sex worker freely and liberally (even if they don’t engage in physical contact) as a reflection of it being a bit more normalized, perhaps in a woke kind of way.
JamesSD
2 years ago
Considering all her income comes from sex work but she doesn't do just one thing, the title is accurate.

It's weird she considers having a OF worth it for that money. I'm guessing her patrons are guys she has met at the SC.
Papi_Chulo
2 years ago
As has been mentioned; I wonder if the younger-girls now see being identified as a "sex worker" as some kinda "woke badge of honor" - seems these days self-identifying as anything is "the in-thing to do".

But could also be a way of "not having to live in the shadows" per se and not having to "hide" one's "career"?

I guess "sex worker" fits to a certain-degree even if she's not having sex - but one would think there could be a better-name for it o/w is a swimsuit-model or Victoria-Secret-model a "sex worker" bc she's using her sexuality?
Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
As far as I know, a sex worker refers to someone working in the sex industry. And you could probably spend a bunch of time navel gazing about it, but the sex industry broadly includes prostitution, porn, stripping, cam work, and OF, and several others.

[There's probably a fair number of SB/Seeking women who would fight that label, but that's another discussion.]

And though there might be a few gray areas, I don't think anyone considers mainstream modeling to be part of the sex industry.

And I guess I could be wrong, but I really struggle with there being a significant number of sex workers who consider their job "woke".
Hank Moody
2 years ago
Strippers have for years described themselves as sex workers. It’s not my place as a customer to tell them how to describe it. I think it’s just them embracing what they do and the shit they have to put up with. More power to them. I don’t care if they don’t actually do sex when they work. They put up with enough shit that I’m fine with however they find the strength to work in the clubs for my enjoyment.
drewcareypnw
2 years ago
m-w.com says

sex worker
noun
: a person whose work involves sex acts
especially : a person who engages in sexual intercourse in exchange for pay

but I think the youth use this term to describe any work that involves sexuality, which they define pretty loosely: showing tits online or at a coffee stand or on a stage is sw, even though there isn't any contact or sex per se. I think it's also a solidarity thing: all sw's are sw's together, regardless of the boundaries and rise up sisterhood yadda yadda.

I wonder if hot bar tenders and admins and saleswomen, who are definitely trading on their looks, should get added to the sw group? You're staring into the boobs the whole time, she knows it, you know she shows it, she knows you know she knows it, etc. Of course the sexuality is helping the sale of something else in these cases, whereas the bikini barista really isn't selling coffee. Or is she? Murky....


shailynn
2 years ago
Damn people can’t even identify their own gender now so how can we expect them to identify what they do for a living correctly?

I would think if you call yourself a “sex worker” you’re touching some dick at some point during your work day/night - but what do I know.
ilbbaicnl
2 years ago
If you're an adult entertainer, and you participate in or tolerate the slut shaming of adult entertainers with less strict boundaries, you tacitly approve those who slut shame you. You reject slut shaming by putting yourself in the same category (sex worker) as those with different boundaries. Another example of how woke can be good.
Mike Rotch
2 years ago
Yea I agree with those saying sex work should involve touching some stranger's dick. The key word here being "work" because most people hate their jobs so if sex (which everyone enjoys) is considered work, they probably hate it. That's why I wouldn't call married couples who post vids of their fucking "sex workers" and neither would they call themselves that.
blahblahblah23
2 years ago
I mean she can identify as what she wants but I would choose to not call myself a sex worker despite profiting off of my sexuality.

I find it odd that someone that does well in the clubs can't figure out a way to get the cams going. Maybe she needs to try another website. Cuz good looking chicks on cam ain't gotta do much or hustle long hours for $180, but there is a bit of a learning curve sometimes to see what personally works and what doesn't.

From what I've seen most chicks who prefer stripping 1) don't mind being touched 2) maybe wanna be off the books but at 400-2000 a few times a week it is impossible to stay fully off the books. 3) maybe can't figure out a system on cam that works for them. 4) makes more sense to travel strip than travel cam unless leaving the country then that can change easily
funonthaside
2 years ago
"I find it odd that someone that does well in the clubs can't figure out a way to get the cams going."

Perhaps she is a wannadance girl who doesn't have the skill of finessing guys out their money, and it's therefore even harder to do it on cam. Even on cam (or overlaps even ESPECIALLY on cam), seduction and flirting are critical in getting a guy to part with his money.

Also, competition is much stronger on cams, whereas a club has only so many girls at a time...so if the guy/girl ratio is in her favor in club, she can still make money. On cams, guys will keep moving until they find what they want, and don't need settle.

Despite browsing through many camgirls, there are a few that I keep returning to whenever I'm going through my camgirl cycle.
blahblahblah23
2 years ago
So I think it depends with cam. When I did it I definitely didn't have to "work long hours for $180" or w/e fuck no I woulda quit immediately. I literally sat around and waited for the money, but I had my lips and downward in view on the cam while I browsed/fucked around the internet basically.

The girls that finesse/hustle/try to keep regular hours/ build a clientele regular base or community (depending what site and hustle) tended to be the ones who made the most money. Also the chicks who did promo like onlyfans/other social media- that shit helps. I didn't do anything right as a camgirl and I still tended to avg out well enough per hour of my time. I didn't have to hustle the dudes they literally came to my chat to give me money lmfao.
blahblahblah23
2 years ago
I'm also tho on the side of the equation that it is usually a more pleasant experience to make ur $80 an hour on cam than hustling/finessing w/e and being groped for hundreds an hr but mainly on busy nights or dead nights too if u got the regs or luck.
blahblahblah23
2 years ago
And that isn't even getting into the side of the equation that clubs just really are a shit work environment but that is a whole other topic.
gammanu95
2 years ago
I would think a cam girl who does not have non- monogamous sex would not qualify as a sex worker.

Imagine you're Sinclair, chilling at a bar. You strike up conversation with an attractive woman nearby. While discussing occupations,

-she says she's a cam girl. I would think striptease and masturbation. Shutout some of those masturbatory performances can get pretty extreme. However, she's not out whoring around. I'd take her home.

-she says she's and adult performer or porn actress This encompasses the above cam girl work, on-camera intercourse, live nude dancing/ stripping, and semi-professional pornographic films including STD testing when not monogamous. I'd take her number, unless I really needed to get my dick wet that night.

- she says she's a sex worker. Her income is derived from sexual acts with paying clientele. Her job is to get ridden hard and put away wet. I might maybe consider it if she was hot enough and I was drunk enough, but if she brings it up in conversation she likely expects to get paid.


shailynn
2 years ago
Camming is certainly interesting. Not sure how much of a money maker it is today - since it seems a lot of the ads I see for camming appear to be women not located in the USA.

Back in the day I knew a very attractive dancer turned cammer who made over $100k in a year treating camming like a full time job. Pretty awesome deal for her, she never left her house, made over $100k and was also able to watch after her kids the entire time - she calmed at night when they were asleep or during the morning and afternoon when they were at school. M

BTW - she definitely would not call herself a sex worker!
shailynn
2 years ago
“She CAMMED at night”
goldmongerATL
2 years ago
Talking about sex workers slut shaming each other I always chuckle when at my favorite club the girls riding two dicks a day look down their noses at the girls that are riding five or six dicks a day.

Now if you are a zero dicks-a-day girl, I guess I can see looking down at dick riders in general.
ilbbaicnl
2 years ago
Many define sex work as making money by providing sexual gratification. That doesn't necessarily involve junk touching or touching at all.

One escort told me that reading from a bock and picking up marbles with her toes (while clothed) were things she was asked to do. Whether that was about sex or power or loneliness, who can be sure, or be sure the lines between those things are so clear-cut.

The other unifying factor is life-long impact. If you wanted to get into certain professions, teaching, law enforcement, etc., I'm not sure if it makes that much difference if you stripped/cammed/escorted or whatever.
FishHawk
2 years ago
When I first heard the term sex worker applied to a stripper I was dismayed. I felt that it was wrong, but over the last few years I have understood that some strippers refer to themselves as that. That’s now OK to me. I still would not walk into a club and ask a random dancer about how she enjoys being a sec worker.
Mike Rotch
2 years ago
^Japanese animators who draw hentai are providing sexual gratification through their art. Does this make them sex workers?

I still think the line that defines sex work is physical contact with a customer's dick (or pussy, for all the gigolos out there). Anyone can label themselves whatever they want, but it doesn't make it true. Some OF thot can claim she's a sex worker but if all she does is sell farts in a can, does it really count?
nicespice
2 years ago
Reading some of the discomfort reminds me of an article I read a long time ago. It’s outdated now, but it was eloquently written.

http://titsandsass.com/man-calls-cops-on…

My favorite part:

“I know that strippers have something of a Regina George reputation among sex workers as many deny they are sex workers at all, considering themselves above the designation. Some strippers have been unkind trolls to Belle Knox and other porn performers on Twitter. Strippers are also arguably among the most likely type of sex worker to be denied the label by our clientele, mostly because strip club customers don’t want to have to identify as clients and they can deny that status more easily if we aren’t identifying as sex workers. But the expectation of explicitly sexual services is absolutely built into the idea of the VIP room, and it means that negotiating and/or denying various forms of sexual labor is part of the job.”
Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
I think that customers trying to dictate to sex workers what a sex worker is or isn't has all the credence of dancers dictating the definition of "high mileage" to customers.

It's an interesting debate, but I'm definitely at the low-stakes periphery of that debate.
ilbbaicnl
2 years ago
I guess makers of erotic animation/illustrations could legit call themselves sex workers. Seems like part of the meaning is that it's how you pay bills, not necessarily important to who you are. If someone's really into making erotic art, and they call themselves a sex worker, it's probably more in solidarity with those for whom sex work is a means to their goals, not really part of their goals.
ilbbaicnl
2 years ago
I respect it when strippers DON'T want to be called sex workers. They're often dealing with constant accusations from an SO that they're doing FSSW, so they feel the need to distance themselves from any association.
Subraman
2 years ago
This thread makes me realize I've somehow adopted the genz sexwork definition of sexwork! Here's one definition of sexworker I found on the internet, which is solidly the way genz and millennials use the term IMO: "Sex workers are adults who receive money or goods in exchange for consensual sexual services or erotic performances".

Forget strippers. Many bikini baristas identify themselves as sexworkers (at least on the gram. I follow many of them for, uh, research purposes). And since the real reason for their business is not coffee, it's the "erotic performance" that guys are there for, I think they're right, at least by zoomer/millennial definitions.

Yes, strippers are sexworkers, even strippers in an absolutely-no-touching bikini bar, by that definition. And I expect the above definition is what all the younger folks use.
twentyfive
2 years ago
Why is it necessary to categorize and label everything, I go along with whatever the stripper I’m with at the moment wants to call herself, it makes no difference to me one way or the other.
ilbbaicnl
2 years ago
Generally, unless there's a good reason not to, I accept how someone chooses to categorize themselves. If I get familiar enough with them, I'll ask them why they do/don't categorize themselves in a particular way.
drewcareypnw
2 years ago
@25: "Why is it necessary to categorize and label everything"

Ask Linnaeus, it seems this is the human condition.
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