Smegma Jones

Comments by Smegma Jones

discussion comment
6 months ago
Smegma Jones
Looking for a good place in PX/Tempe/Chandler area
I got a few messages asking for an update now that the trip is over, and much to my dismay, they did NOT go anywhere. I saw my nephew the other night and asked. "So, how'd it go?" and he avoided the question. I asked again "where'd you end up going?"...and got a "hold on...", I was thinking it was because his mom was also there, so waited till she was out of the room...then just asked "you didn't go to any of them, huh?". And he sheepishly said 'No...I wanted to, but the other guys didn't, were too tired or made some other excuse'. I didn't give him much crap over it, but did mention he was all big talk before going out there...why didn't he go alone? "I was going to, but got a bit nervous". Personally I like going to the club solo, as I can stay as long or short as I'd like, and don't have to feel like I've got anyone looking over my shoulder if I want to test the limits. But I get, as a 'kid', not wanting to solo it, especially in a strange locale. Ah, to be 21 and innocent again. :) I was hoping for a trip report though. He said he might be going back out in Sept (one of the guys in the group is moving out there then), and will 100% FOR SURE...go somewhere. We'll see.
discussion comment
6 months ago
Smegma Jones
Looking for a good place in PX/Tempe/Chandler area
And thanks all for the input.
discussion comment
6 months ago
Smegma Jones
Looking for a good place in PX/Tempe/Chandler area
Yeah, again, being as they are young and low experience (both in travel and clubbing) I'd guess they'd be headed to Sonny's if I didn't read up on it here and say several times..."Not Sonny's". I actually sent them addresses for both Christie's and Bourbon Street already and said they both looked good, with a lean towards Bourbon. As long as no one said anything horribly bad about either, that was my gut feels. I think they are going tomorrow anyway, just landed today.
review comment
6 months ago
boredinsb
Indiana
Saggy Stomach Saloon
Ooof....that title. It's not wrong some nights...but still...ooof.
discussion comment
a year ago
Smegma Jones
Robbery or actual 'bad luck'?
@CJ Yes....I asked. You called me a liar, so I'm no longer interested in your opinion...as it has no value and is based off an incorrect premise.
discussion comment
a year ago
Smegma Jones
Robbery or actual 'bad luck'?
@CJKent Are you still talking? To who? Fine...I'll humor you. Hmmm....let's see. HE goes back and then I join him to help look for it? Is that so implausible? A) not unless he really wanted to keep the façade up. Which seems pointless past the time we left the club. B) If you were talking about a sock, or shirt button....sure. A wallet with $150 in it, no. I doubt anyone has ever had that happen. C) This is the most likely 'non scam' option....and there has been no call yet a few days later. That's a pretty magical bounce or an awful cleaning crew. And at this point, it wouldn't matter as we already left town, the ID is reported stolen and replaced and I'm 100% the money would be gone either way....robbery or accident. I will admit, we should have called the cops there and then. It might not have netted anything as I doubt the club could have detained the customer or dancer, and they'd have been gone by the time the cops arrived, but maybe the stink it would have brought would have gotten the bouncer/manager to shake them both down. Maybe even the threat of it would have worked. Hopefully I'll never have another chance to test the theory. Try actually going to a club vs just participating in the discussion boards. The real world experience might give you some perspective. And now.....I say good day.
discussion comment
a year ago
Smegma Jones
Robbery or actual 'bad luck'?
@CJ Yes...I know and got the joke...it followed your non-joke accusing that I'd lie about the scenario on an anonymous chat board to somehow save face. So I didn't really care it was a joke. Good day. @Package Personally, I will always bring a wallet and phone in, I'm just more aware and judicious on their whereabouts at all times. Also, the wallet only ever has an ID and my cash, no CCs as I'd never use them in a club anyway. I also have my wallet in my back pocket 90% of the time, and pre-load my front pocket with my expected spend for that dance prior to getting a dance, so in general, never pull out or open it in eyeshot of a dancer. My buddy was a 1st timer, so hence why I feel a bit of guilt in not holding his stuff as he went up and picking the 'wrong' girl for him. However, $150 is pretty cheap for a good life lesson, so maybe in the end, it will end up a strong one that sticks. @WiseToo Yeah, I'd LIKE to go with the fact he dropped it, and someone quickly scooped it up in a way that didn't show on video (if and when they really looked at it) and it was the 'bad luck' scenario...vs the elaborate scheme scenario. The biggest problem with the bad luck scenario is there was only about 10 feet of floor between our seats and the 'dance' area, and less than a min for the passerby to scoop it. That's extremely bad luck in that case. I think the consensus is probably correct....it was planned or at least pounced on, by the dancer&friend. Yes, it hinges on the fact someone would forget the wallet or not notice it was shoved into a couch void, but I'd guess that could happen, especially with a noob.
review comment
a year ago
Smegma Jones
Chicas....a must visit if you are a fan of a good dirty lapdance.
Thanks. I tried for accuracy as this really is a dive with naked chicks who will grab your junk and let you grab them and by far the most direct club in Vegas, save maybe the shot hustle. For all I know it's water, not Casamigos the way they put them down. Nothing more....nothing less when you get down to it.
discussion comment
a year ago
Smegma Jones
Robbery or actual 'bad luck'?
@CJKent_Band This was not "my friend" it was "my buddy", so you obviously have reading comprehension issues or don't understand how a quote works. However, in either case I get your meaning. That I am, in fact, the victim and hiding behind a construct of "my buddy". This is incorrect. My buddy is indeed another person, a 1st timer, who did have his wallet stolen....or lost it...but either way was not me. I've been in clubs for a looooong time and had enough scams run past me I doubt I'd have fallen for this, but when I DO take my stuff out I don't move 1 inch till it's all back in my pockets. Thanks for your concern about my mental well being, but I've been here since 2001 and have 34 reviews which is about 10% of my visits out in the wild. If I got my wallet stolen, I'd say so. Save your assumptions for someone else. And I'm not sure if you've ever seen a ridge wallet, especially the older ones, but the outside is basically a thin piece of metal and does have somewhat of an edge. While it's not sharp per-se, I've had many girls ask me to remove things from my pockets before a dance. The request itself was not out of the ordinary. She could also have been referring to keys if he had them, but he didn't as I drove. The request itself shouldn't set off any bells and whistles to anyone who's ever had a vigorous lapdance and carries stuff in their front pockets. Either way, likely it WAS just an intentional way to get his stuff out of his pockets in the event he MIGHT forget them....then, as someone else pointed out, a quick nod to a partner got the non English speaking guy up there for the grab up. As far as forgiveness...on this point, yeah I do blame myself. Not because I lost 'my' wallet, but because I picked the girl for him (shit choice by me I guess) and probably should have held his stuff while he went up as he didn't need it when I paid up front. If for no other reason than as a noob, my buddy was going to be susceptible to the normal hard sell, 'give me a tip', or 'that was 2 songs' scamming that could go on with any stripper. No wallet...no availability for that, and in this case, no chance he'd have lost or got it stolen it either. No, I won't have pictures or video, but can get and post the police report and experian/transunion/equifax credit lock activation that was filed today if you want. I won't, because who the F are you that I'd give a crap.....but I could. Thanks for your valuable input.
article comment
a year ago
RonJax2
Strip Club Connoisseur
A Monger's Guide to Spanish in Tijuana
This was a great ARTICLE. I'll be clipping it to keep in my phone if I make it back to TJ or Mexicali. Most times I've been able to hang with someone who speaks more Spanish than me who handles haggling, but knowing what's being said is way better. A nice addendum would be some phrases a girl might say so you know if she's asking/telling you something. I sometimes just have to stare at them and shrug with a 'lo siento, no te entiendo' (which might not even be right...but that's what I recall from Spanish class 100+ years ago).
discussion comment
a year ago
Smegma Jones
Looking for a LV unicorn probably....
Quick update post trip. Deja Vu was temporarily closed, so we went to Minks. Not sure why Deja is closed, but tried calling for thier pickup service and was told they were not currently open. Review is up for Minks now. Did get a run (or 2) out to Chicas as well going solo. 100% NOT the place I'd bring a 1st timer or anyone you'd want to ever look directly into the eyes of again. Review is also up for Chicas. I was going to go to Hippo, but they don't do the free limo thing and the best I could find was a $50 ride that included admission and 2 drinks. Also, return trip was NOT guaranteed, so I didn't want to worry about having to find alternate transport back or be at the mercy of whatever they wanted to charge for a ride. Went with Minks for the lower admit and availability to leave when I wanted.
article comment
a year ago
Lockjaw
Nevada
Evolution of a Monger
Great article, and similar to my own history/evolution, except I went from strippers to AMP to escorts and haven't dabbled in Porn stars yet (I'm not even Daffy duck money levels). Honestly at some point I had thought about pooling a few months worth of 'play' money and heading to somewhere in EU where you can hit the legal brothels with some insanely beautiful women (I'm told). I had a buddy who was talking about doing it too, but he ended up getting canned from his job in early 2020 (I wonder what happened then?)...and hasn't had the 'spare' money to do anything of that level since. Good read. Stay safe everyone.
discussion comment
a year ago
Smegma Jones
Looking for a LV unicorn probably....
Thanks for the suggestions, but yeah CH3 seems (from reviews) to be very greedy now. Had some fun at the old CH, but again...it's been a long time since being there (I think that was even further back than my last trip). If I were going by myself, I'd bee line for Chica's, as that's more my speed as a PL....but I was looking to just get my kid some boobs in the face, maybe a bit of a grind and not go straight for the hard core monger lifestyle. Treasures did look good, but again...a lot of the reviews skewed to 'too expensive', so probably not. I doubt PHX is in the cards as we will be with a group of people so boogying out for many hours is probably not going to happen. I've been to PHX and yeah...good time to be had there. Just not this trip. As far as getting along with my kid, he's been talking up the 'hookers and blow' aspect of the trip, but that might just be talk. I've asked several times that if he didn't want to go to a club we don't have to, and every time he says...'What?...of course we will go'. Hopefully it won't be awkward...but if it is...we'll hit 1 club...do some stage tipping, have some drinks and head out. I've also downplayed my experience so he doesn't know whatever we end up doing...it will be less than I would do if I were solo. Maybe the next night I'll sneak out and head to Chica's. But no input on Deja or Mink? Reviews seem fine....and I've been to Deja's before....they are mostly ok and nothing I'd call 'high end'. Sigh....I miss the old OG. Had some good fun there. But the same can probably be said for the whole town now.
review comment
a year ago
Jthmq123
Opens at 4:30pm weekdays
It's been years since I've been there, but do they still do the thing where they can pull their tops aside, but not remove them and are then technically NOT 'topless'? It used to be a pretty fun time and cheap(free) drinks, but I don't get up to the airport area much anymore. Will have to keep it in mind, good review.
review comment
a year ago
Sazeracjack
Weird, but good.
Gotta love the Lamp. Hasn't changed in 35 years at least as that was my first visit there. Might be out that way next week and will stop by and add some notes/review if I go.
review comment
a year ago
dride
Overall an amazing night
I submit you could have a great night almost anywhere for that kind of money....but thanks for the heads up.
review comment
a year ago
Shaunthesheep2
Sad state of affairs for a club with this prestige
Great review. Heading to Vegas in a few weeks after a 12 year absence, so appreciate the detailed review. You sound like someone with my mindset. Don't rush or hustle me, and don't oversell what you are bringing to the table and I'll give you money...otherwise, take it elsewhere.
review comment
5 years ago
sinclair
Strip Club Nation
sinclair's Review
Over the years I've been here a few times. I believe this is where old strippers go to die. It used to be there was always 1 redeemable 'dancer' to keep you drinking as you MIGHT get a dance out of her, but the last time I went there it was not the case. No-one should ever go here...ever. That having been said, I'll probably go again....cause I live about 10 min away and there is always hope....right?
review comment
5 years ago
Smegma Jones
This place is still standing? Hmmm....let's check it out.
BTW.....I didn't give the club a 10. I think it was a 7 (mainly for the cheap drinks)...atmosphere alone is a 5 or 6 at best. Not sure if I accidentally submitted a 10, or if something changed when I hit send. Either way....just saying....it's not a '10' kind of club.
review comment
5 years ago
Smegma Jones
This place is still standing? Hmmm....let's check it out.
As mentioned I did not get a dance this visit. My last visit a few years ago was $20 a dance up from $10. Silver Slipper down the road charges $25, so the Lighter may have upped to $25 as well. As I didn't know for sure, I didn't want to hazzard a guess. If you wanted a guess I'd say $20, no more than $25, but again...that's an educated guess. There is no VIP area, so you won't get roped into the 200 for 30 min 'private' area. Dances are done in the main room, against the wall in the same chairs you sit on when sitting watching the show. Hope that helps.
discussion comment
9 years ago
Smegma Jones
Am I cheap or is everyone else nuts?
Wow...thanks for the feedback....I didn't realize this would spark such a response. Glad to see I'm not completely out of left field thinking bottle service and all the VIP 'show' stuff is dumb and a waste of money, but as I said at the beginning, I'm not saying how anyone should spend their money, just wanted some insight to know if I was the oddball or not....and for the record Diva1975...I was not commenting on what a stripper's freedom or safety is worth, and was not really talking about risk vs reward. ITC obviously has risks for both parties and also obviously I could ask if you thought some stripper's 'sex' is worth $1,000 vs another's is only worth $200....it's what the market will bear...we want the cheapest price (or I do at least) and you want the most money...that's the game. It's up to the dancer/patron to decide what the risk vs reward is. Honestly I don't normally go to the club for FS because it's too expensive....that was the point. SMEGMA!!
discussion comment
16 years ago
minnow
Any place that interests me.
63, 63 plus 3
Normally I like just coming here to check up on reviews or post one of my own after a trip somewhere, but this discussion has me tweaked so I'm throwing in my 2 cents. It is hilarious to say "if I could go back...." for anything. I'd then say to that poster "if I could go back to before you were born, I'd make it so your parents wouldn't meet...then you couldn't go back and change the war...but then someone else can go back and fix me before I do that..." and so on. War has existed since the beginning of time and will continue to exist. Most of the time it progresses the species one way or the other. Treaties are signed, alliances are made and (albiet years down the road) most involved parties end up progressing. We are in the first few generations who want to re-write history so that we lose or so that we never enter the conflict at all. If WWII never invloved the US or if we did indeed settle up with Japan and lay low, Europe would be a shambles (Hitler's vision would have imploded on itself within a few years)and the US would have been a much weaker country so many of the advances we have made might never have come to be (don't forget, for better or worse we are the most technologicly advanced country in the world and one of the few that have a true operational democracy). Who knows what kind of shambles the earth would be in now. Do you think Japan or Germany or Russia would have treated us well after winning a war (or if we surrendered before one got started)? Let's say you do away with war throughout the centuries....No Egypt, no Roman Empire, no expansion into Europe and over the Atlantic, no discovery of America, no Revolutionary War, no USA. I'm not saying War is good, only that it has to be. And since there will always be some amount of war, you have to do the best thing you can do to end the war, which is to win it as soon as possible and that means losing men and women on both sides. Until there is something to either totally unite the planet (doomsday, alien invasion, asteroid...whatever) there will be war...period. Wanting to go back and change what happened is just stupid. If you could go back and change anything, go back with a gun and take out a few key religious leaders throughout the centuries, since religion is at the heart of most conflicts (including the current one in Iraq). That's my 2 cents....and that's all it's worth, keep the change if you don't agree. SMEGMA!!
discussion comment
17 years ago
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
They are just tits!
I'm just going to throw in my 2 cents on a couple of points people have brought up. These points only really apply to my opinion of clubbing matters. Obviously in a 'real life' situation all these points might be thrown out by the fact that the chick is rich or have a job where she can get me sporting event tickets...then I'd settle for a quadruple amputee with a hairlip. 1) "Big deal, everyone has them".... I tend to disagree, but while I have nipples, I would not call what I have tits, and even if they were tits...they are covered in hair, which for me is a problem. 2) Ass man vs. Tit Man.... I say to each his own, but I can see asses on the beach (thongs you know) or on TV for the most part and I go to strip clubs to connect with not look at. Even in a strip club asses are pretty well all over even when the tits are covered. During a GOOD LD, you can rub your hands around on her cheeks no problem, but most girls (as someone pointed out above) don't get too freaked out with hands or mouth on tits, but shoot a finger near the cornhole and watch it get broke off. 3) Tits often look better close up, which is where I like my dancers to be...Asses mostly suffer the closer they get unless you are in a very high price joint. 4) I agree that big fakies are a turn off, but do you really think that if it were as easy or cheap to get one that girls wouldn't get fake asses as well? 5) As far as why not the vag...? Most of the time I'm not big on all nude because it makes the girls more uptight. Also most girls either don't know how to make it pretty or have razor bumps or look like a philly steak sandwich down there. With the tits you pretty much know where you stand from the get go...I can tell a boob job 10 feet away or see if a girl is 'itty-bitty' before I get into the back room. I think the main reason for why guys (myself included) like tits is because they are fun...fun to look at, fun to touch, fun to nibble on and all that.... I mean, have you ever pulled off a brumpski (motorboat, ferbertz or whatever you call one) on some dancers ass or snatch? If so, bravo! The biggest point made in all these posts is that everyone likes something different to some extent. Hopefully that will always remain the same. VIVA Variety!! SMEGMA!!
review comment
9 years ago
dancer0307
Dancer life
To start off, I'm a...
FIrst off, thanks for your perspective as a dancer. Unfortunately, your review makes me not want to go to this club. I dont know what you look like or how you dance, but as you say most of the girls were hotter than you....and you made enough that the $
article comment
9 years ago
maskmask21
INDIANA
Terrible Time in Tijuana
I've been to TJ 3 times over the last few years. Granted I've been away for about 18 months now...so things could have changed...but I had nothing but safe, mostly enjoyable experiences down there. Of course I stayed in the 'Tourista' zone by HK and the other big clubs, and once met up with a pro I booked ahead of time in a nearby hotel SHE paid for. While I'm all about the adventure, wandering around town, not speaking Spanish...alone...is a disaster waiting to happen (as others have said), in almost any lower base economy country. Life is cheap in most of these places, especially your life. Why do you think you can get 'companionship' so cheap down there? I've driven to TJ and had no issues (paid a guy some money to 'watch' my car, but I'm from Chicago so that's normal), but walking over is better...a car can be stolen...shoes are less marketable. I keep a old flip phone around (got it for $10 on ebay) which i'll move my SIM card to before going over...again, less attractive for theft. Don't flash your cash or keep it all in one pocket/shoe/buttcrease because if you do get into trouble down there, most of the 'bad' guys aren't looking to kill someone....they just want your money. Reach in, give them your wallet with no fight and you might even get the wallet/ID back. Walk away...it's only money (or in this case a phone). Even the crooks know that if the US stripper/whore traffic went away, TJ would dry up. Stick to the safe areas and let them harass some other 'adventurous' idiot....the story you have is not worth getting stabbed or half brain dead. SMEGMA!!