Reviews by Velcro

Friday night, a female friend texted. 'Meet us at Jumbo's!' When I was running late, she texted, 'We're stageside, wow, beautiful redhead dancer! Where are you?' My friend was right. When I got there, the…

There are four girls at Jumbos to rival the top girl at any club. Lacy, Bo, Zoey and Violet. Lacy is a natural d-cup blonde, and maybe the coolest girl you'll ever meet. Bo has…

Be warned that when you come in before 11pm even on a weekend night, you could easily be the only customer at the Reign. The girls will come by once in awhile, but to keep…

Just to correct a mistake below, there ARE lap dances at the club. There's a small nook back in the far left rear of the club (no nudity of course). The dancers are hugely thankful…

It's not often you go to a club and discover a gem. At Baby Dolls on a recent Friday night, that gem was Kelly. Kelly is a 20-year-old girl with natural high-c cups, a thin…

I found Zona Rosa by seeing it from the highway. Colors like that aren't used by many other kinds of businesses. Zzzzzsssona Rosssa! This is a very very latino club. Ranchera music, 3/4 of the…

Only four or five patrons. Only about eight women. What do you want on a Saturday before the Super Bowl? Turns out it was exactly what I wanted. I started out looking for an answer…

I love Synn. It's really an undiscovered gem of a club. Girls to look for on the dayshift are Chanel, Nattie and Harley. On the nightshift, Milan is a stunner, while Chanel and Nattie also…

Yes, that 10 review has to be a shill. But all the same, I liked this place purely because it provided some of the rare thrills in the past year, all related to two dancers…

Thank you Peach, thank you. What a hot little batch of salty you are. I've hit clubs all over the west, and this little, explosive, four-foot-eleven, street-wise package of Thai spice sits right at the…

Sorry, I don't believe the last review is legit. First of all, there's never any cigarette smoke. It's just not possible to mistake the smoke from a disco smoke machine with cigarette smoke unless the…

When I visited last weekend, I hoped for a smorgasbord of ass, and brothers I was not disappointed. Wow. There are actress-quality girls in all corners of this club. I determined not to waste my…

Correction, the club is still open, and the owner had 15 days to appeal the decision as of 8/24/07. The San Bernardino officials involved are your typical corrupt, small-town crusaders, particularly the City Attorny, Penman.

Flesh is ordered closed for eight months by San Bernardino County judge, owner fined $25,000, ordered to remove drapes and other stuff. http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-fleshclub24aug24,1,4677319.story?track=rss&ctrack=1&cset=true San Bernardino County is going to lose. The city is the home of…

What kind of restraint does it take not to visit Hawaii when you're in COI during the day shift with a wad of 20s burning a hole in your pocket? It's hard, brothers, very hard.…

I visited Friday with mischief on my mind. My favorite babe among the dancers was there, as was the queen of the club, Eve. Combine the one with the other, season with a generous sprinkling…

I'm not sure what the point is of reviewing this club in such detail that it alerts authorities to come shut it down. If you want to add something new and very cryptic, cool, but…

To answer the question below, Alahna is in her 6th or 7th month of pregnancy and may not come back to work. Most of the time girls do come back to work if they can…

I'm not sure which club foster_lagoon was visiting, or if he had some strange agenda, but as I read his review, the bullshit meter went off with a vengeance. First of all, I've been to…

To every review of a Vegas club, I must add the preamble: Vegas is always, everywhere a ripoff. Save your money--go elsewhere. There's nothing for you here. Nothing. That thing that 'stays in Vegas?' That's…

December 30, Saturday night, and I was locked into going to TL. I usually avoid weekend nights, and it's for two reasons: 1) there's just too much competition from the losers who sit googly-eyed without…

The recovery of Hawaii Theatre is complete. The quality of girls has risen to the point that the true battle ax of the roster, Summer, got herself a boob job to compete. That, my friends,…

Velcro took one for the team last night. I hadn't been to Paris since 1994. So nice to go back and see my old friends there: the same carpet, the same paint, the same posters,…

This place is the Theater of the Absurd. I visited in October after five years away from SF to discover that they were forced to taken down the curtains. So if you're in the back…

I have to give this a five, but part of that is my fault. I went to this club at night. If you go to this club at night, you should be banned from strip…