how do i?

avatar for icedawg
icedawg
so about a year ago i was in a club, and had a dance (or 5) from a girl. i was smitten. 'twas awesome. she disappeared (im not that creepy. really) last week, i was in a different club and it took me a while, but i recognized her.

1. do i bring up how i know her from elsewhere?

or
2. start a new?

14 comments

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avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan
16 years ago
When something like this has happened to me, usually I ask them if I have seen them before. But usually, they remember me first.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
16 years ago
Is there some reason you would not wish her to remember you or you wish you did not remember her?
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
16 years ago
If you don't get the type of response from her that you're looking for when you approach (sounds like you know what you want and still remember what you got before) then remind her. Otherwise, if she doesn't remember you then it doesn't help to bring it up right away. These girls see a ton of guys, don't remember everyone, and since you don't know why she left or why she's back elsewhere it may not be a good topic to cover up front.

End of answer, now for the story...

The other night while I was waiting for my new project to finish up with a weirdo (should have thanked him for the champagne she brought me afterward, though) I made the mistake for taking a bite on "every dancer has a story". She was a girl I hadn't seen before and I was money she hadn't seen before, and while talking a hole in my head it reminded me why it is the rare, rare dancer who I'll level with about life OTC. I asked what her story was and wished I hadn't, but since she was nursing her drink something fierce I wouldn't get nagged as long as she was there. The tradeoff was getting sized up for more than $$$ ITC (again) before watching two dancers who clearly don't speak attempt awkward smalltalk. Which is why I don't like to be a regular anywhere.

The point, if you can get what you're looking for without going too deep then appreciate that and enjoy.
avatar for chandler
chandler
16 years ago
While it shouldn't be a big deal, I've also felt a little uncomfortable in that situation. It should be no surprise that a stripper doesn't remember a customer from months ago. Yet, when I tell her, the imbalance can be awkward. Sometimes, the girl seems to feel a need to offer a fake, "Oh, now I think I remember you."

It's tempting to just let it pass, to "start anew" and not disrupt the flow. However, when I do, I invariably wind up feeling a bit uneasy, having to act and say things as though I'm meeting her for the first time. So, I've learned that it's best to just mention it as no big deal at some point (which it is) and carry on with the usual bullshit and groping, whatever.

(BTW, interesting variation on the scenario in the 'Favorites vs. Luck of the Draw' topic.)
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
16 years ago
Sure tell her you remembered her from the other club, there is absolutely no big deal with saying that and the girl will probably appreciate the ice-breaker as she herself is probably getting used to working at the other club.

If you wrote you saw the girl at a store or restaurant, some strippers dont like mixing their work with their outside life, so going up and saying too much might not be a good idea, all depends on how well you know her.

Strippers move club to club alot, they actually wish they could take good customers with them.
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
16 years ago
Sounds like a one time thing with about a year in between. Not sure it's the same thing as taking regulars from club to club.

I also try to never predict what's going on in a dancer's head until it gets down to the hows "how will she deliver? how long? how much?". Every girl is different, even if many of the patterns are the same.

If you didn't speak to her the last time you saw her, the easiest thing to do next time is say "hi". If she saw you and didn't speak, it's either because she didn't recognize you and didn't want to or did and still didn't want to. Either way, you're basically at square one. If she just didn't see you, the suggestion is still the same. Have fun.
avatar for chandler
chandler
16 years ago
OK, I wasn't even considering the change-of-club aspect. On that score, yeah, I see no reason not to bring it up. And while you're at it, be sure to remind her of the awesome mileage you got from her before and that you expect her to provide at least the same again.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
16 years ago
If I was sure it was the same girl, even if was just 1 time, I would bring up I saw her at so & so club just because it's always a better dance when the stripper is more comfortable with you. It's a given that they try to take regulars club to club. It doesn't sound like she serviced in the sense of extras from what he wrote, but if extras were involved then absolutely tell her you remember her and want the same service.
avatar for icedawg
icedawg
16 years ago
chandler- i live to serve. hope it works.

to the rest. thanksmuch. imna try and see what transpires. its weird. were both techincally at a club to interact, and theres a sublte cat and mouse aspect to things.
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
16 years ago
This horse is dead, but the whole assumption here is that by mentioning the other club that will make the dancer more comfortable. It's clear that's what the thinking is, and that's a pretty big assumption to make.

Maybe she'd gotten out of the business and wound up needing to dance again because the economy went South. Maybe somebody kicked her ass at the other club and she had to leave. Or she refused to blow the owner. I've heard all three and many more lately. Maybe she'll feel a better connection because she shared and someone listened, or maybe she'll get all pissy for the night. Who knows?

But, hey, that's what makes good stories.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
16 years ago
This has happened to me twice. The first involved a dancer that I met at my favorite club. She was the only one who ever wanted prepayment there. Good but not great.I ran into her again at an Atlanta club a year ago. I thought that telling her about our previous meeting would get me in the door. Wrong. I striked out. No big loss.

The second, I also met at my favorite club. She got fired and moved to a different club. She was happier than a pig in shit to see me again. We had a couple of drinks and then went to the couch room. I enjoyed FS there and again at my hotel room the next day.

You just never know!!!
avatar for robofan
robofan
16 years ago
I would tell her that I remember her from the previous club. If she remembers you then you are that much further ahead if not then you are starting new.
avatar for Notsosly
Notsosly
16 years ago
I never bring it up. If they do, then I'll say "yeah I thought you looked familiar." But no, I never bring it up, mostly because it's not real important for me to be remembered by a dancer.

Quick Story: I totally remembered a dancer I got some extras from last time I was in the club. She didn't remember me, and like I said, I never brought it up. Long story short, when I asked about those same extras later on, she quoted me a price that was HALF what I paid last time. I paid it happily, but I was still kicking myself for paying so much the first time.
avatar for gk
gk
16 years ago
Play it straight and be honest. If she's a pro at what she does, should remembver you. Ask to buy her a drink and see if she does. If yes, say that's why you bought her the drink. Take it from there.

Other scenario--you buy the drink and she doesn't remember you. You now have a certain guage of her personality and professionalism that you didn't have before. That's valuable. Then, you could mention that you remember her from wherever and that's why you bought her the drink. See how she reacts and then decide if you want make to make further investments.

Unless there is some reason for embarrassment, in my experience, no dancer has ever been adverse to becoming re-acquainted under the circumstances you describe. Most would welcome it.
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