Which do you prefer: Dancer approaches you or you approach dancer?

31 comments

• casualguy

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  16 years ago

  I like dancers approaching. I'm used to it now. If the dancers get too aggressive though, there are times you may want to stay in a club but not get approached so much.
• casualguy

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  16 years ago

  Business must be good for the dancer if she doesn't approach any new guys unless the club has different rules than what I'm used to.
• ozymandias

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  16 years ago

  If I want her, I'll go get her. I do NOT like being approached - I'm just way too picky. O.
• DandyDan

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  16 years ago

  I'd rather have the dancer approach me. I don't see why I should have to get up to ask them for dances. Besides, I think it is rather lazy of them to not approach anyone, since they are there to eventually get paid.
• MisterGuy

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  16 years ago

  I like dancer approaches...it's fun sometimes to make eye contact with them and then see them internally try & build up enough confidence to come over & talk to you. I know this is something that stresses out a fair amount of dancers. There was a common practice in Quebec a few years back where a dancer approaching a customer was thought to be too much like "solictation"...so dancers hardly ever did it. The infamous Grand Prix was famous for this type of behavior. Occasionally, you might run into one of these girls that was working back then, and you'll notice them picking a spot in the room and just stand there, and stand there, and stand there...until someone comes up to them to start a conversation or invites them over to a table to sit. That's fun to watch too (people watching is fun for me basically all the time though)...it seems to take a lot of patience.
• shadowcat

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  16 years ago

  I always want them to approach me. I feel that it puts me at the advantage when it comes to price. If a guy appears to be too eager, she is in control. This only applies to dancers new to me. I know a couple of dancers that will never ask a customer for a dance. They feel that if the customer wants a dance he will ask for it. They will come and sit with you and talk and let nature take its course. I can't argue with that.
• Ironcat

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  16 years ago

  I agree with Shadowcat, in that a dancer who approaches you will be much more likely to accept a volume discount. I hate the "wanna dance" approach, especially when a dance approaches from behind. 99% of the time the dancer who takes that approach isn't my type.
• jablake

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  16 years ago

  I prefer the dancer to approach. That doesn't mean that I wont approach a super hot dancer if she is sitting by herself. Some customers take it to a whole 'nother leverl: approach the dancer while she is giving a customer a dance. Heck, some might even venture into the VIP rooms in search of dancers. :)
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  It doesn't matter to me. I've had things work out well either way.
• how

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  16 years ago

  Dancer approaching is good, but only if they ask to join you for awhile. If their first words are "wanna dance?", my first words are "no, thank you" or "maybe later." When I do the approaching, it is typically during their stage set.
• Raincoat

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  16 years ago

  The best system is at Tuxedo's in Davenport, IA. The dancers walk around topless giving $1 dances that last less than a minute. Then they ask if you want a dance. I get an almost free sample and I've given them a buck making it easier to say, "no thank you" to the request. I hate when the sit next to you and chat it up. Sure its great if it is the one you wanted, but it is far more likely to be the fatty and then they try to guilt you into a private.
• FONDL

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  16 years ago

  I prefer not to be approached, I don't like any the hustle. Give me a club full of lazy dancers anytime. Although I too have been to clubs that do the dollar dance as Raincoat described and I like that. A tip walk is OK too if they aren't too aggressive about it. But I hate it where girls approach you and ask if you want company, or even worse, sit down uninvited.
• snowtime

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  16 years ago

  I usually prefer to be left alone to check out the available dancers before making my selection. I am glad if a hot dancer sits down with me but in most cases it is a fat one who is not getting dances and then you have the problem of trying to politely get rid of them. Also when one of the lesser dancers is sitting with you, you have no chance of being approached by a hot one. The $1 a dance system mentioned by Raincoat above seems like the perfect solution to the problem. Wish they did that in the clubs I visit.
• Clubber

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  16 years ago

  I'll do my own work! Any dancer will know I would prefer her to visit me by my tipping when she is on stage. I've even tipped a dancer I wished to spend some time with, even when she wasn't dancing on stage.
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  Never had to approach a guy for a dance I usually got approached before I am half way off the stage. But I think it may be the clubs in NJ cause the girls will the same guys 10 times if they want a dance. And in NJ each time hey come around at least $3 is expected. So alot of guys will just want to be left alone.
• Book Guy

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  16 years ago

  I like for a dancer to be available but not pushy. Whether that means she talks to me first, or I to her, is really beside the point. I want her to circulate; to make sure she finds me whenever I'm free; to make sure she departs if I reject her (and to make sure she gives me a chance to reject her -- I HATE it when they just impose themselves on me); and to make sure she returns if I've asked her to. I don't like them unavailable, either because they're yukking it up with pal strippers and bartenders, or because they're up in the privates for hours on end with some other dude. But I also don't like them overly pushy, because they keep insisting that I spend. I just walk out on them and let the manager know why, if they get like THAT.
• arbeeguy

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  16 years ago

  Wondergrl5: Just because they "expect $3" doesn't mean they necessarily get it, does it? I like to be approached by dancers. I think it is flattering --- at least it strokes my ego a little. However, I do NOT like the "wanna dance? No? OK - bye bye" routine -- this seems really really rude. (I can't imagine any guy likes this approach but if girls can make money doing it, more power to them.) The ones who offer to sit with me and visit are the best. If I see a hot dancer that turns me on, I will quickly approach her -- occasionally with a $5 bill in my hand -- and ask for a lap dance on the spot. Some clubs don't permit lap dances out in the open, but in most of the clubs I visit it is OK. Some might say $5 for a lap dance out in the open area is "too much" but at Minx in Des Moines the fee is $10, and my hands have to stay at my side. True, it is for a full song. The $5 version I am used to lasts about 1/3 of a song. Then there is Vic's Place in Irvington where the "dancer" will approach you, slide her hand down your pants, allow your finger into her pussy, sometimes without any money requested or offered. A rare place indeed. The "dancers" at Vic's must have a business on the side. So many variables. So many opinions. So .....
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  Arbeeguy- Dude Ive seen some crazy fights break out lately when that 3 dollar tip dosent appear. Id say 90% of the time the girls get the damn tip. But thats cause they are uber aggressive. And we can give mini dances at the bar And yeah "vics" got raided not to long ago
• lopaw

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  16 years ago

  I prefer to be approached, but if a dancer is smokin hot & super busy most of the time, I will do my best to hunt her down and ask her.
• mmdv26

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  16 years ago

  lopaw - exactly my answer
• David9999

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  16 years ago

  Doesn't matter, but I usually act first. There's a small group of elite dancers (often very good looking and sometimes very experienced) that will hardly ever under any circumstances approach a customer, so if customers want dances from them - will be missing out if they don't ask them. Some of these dancers while they've able to follow this strategy for years and do Ok simply cannot handle rejection. Some in fact are shy, however most dancers if they don't do some variation of "wanna dance" - will be constantly leaving money on the table with lower earnings than they otherwise would have. Most importantly they will missing out on constantly recruiting new regulars, which generally only have shelf lives of probably 3 to 6 months in any case Now for the dancers that are aggressive, since its a business transaction and most will solicit nearly any customer anyways, I don't see why its a compliment to the customer when a dancer approaches them, so I just approach them if I'm interested. Every single dancer I've been involved with with any kind of long term "relationship" or whatever one might label it- I've approached them. The downside is with the 90% who end up a one-dance session (I usually buy 3 or 4 dances in total) - they then might still think you're interested on subsequent days, so they will come back and you need excuses. Even though its in the nature of a commercial tranaction male aggressiveness obviously is a plus if the mutual "chemistry" matters as it might to some patrons. Many of these dancers notice the passivity of certain males in clubs and even comment on it now and then, and its generally not a plus. True, its not real world, but real world constructs can in some cases operate in a parallel fashion.
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  As easy as it is for me NOT to have to approach I dont like the aggressive "caveman" nature. A guy who usually just grabs me like that is usually an ass in the LD room. So its 12 mins of me dodging probing fingers and sayin "you gotta put that away" Honestly those guys get crappy dances from me, the shy non pesumptious ones get my best
• Clubber

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  16 years ago

  We should sponsor a wondergrl5 tour.
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  ha ha its been proposed before lol I dont take TUSCL coupons (except maybe for lowpaw)
• Clubber

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  16 years ago

  wondergrl5, "for" her or from her? If from, she can come on the tour as well!
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  from!! ok Ill accept my grammer ticket officer LOL
• lopaw

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  16 years ago

  LOL - I'm printing up some coupons right now, both "from" & "for" (I'm not taking any chances on printing the wrong ones). Sign me up for the tour!!!
• Clubber

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  16 years ago

  OK, guys, let's pony up for the wondergrl5/lopaw tour. When you are ready, justlet me know and I'll tell you where to send your checks. Just make them out to cash.
• someyoungguysomeyoungguy

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  16 years ago

  I don't like it when girls constantly ask "wanna dance?" when you know they're just going through the motions. But I also don't like it when the girls just go to their regulars or go back to the dressing room without any effort to try and offer one. So in other words, I actually hate it both ways.
• flguytampa21

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  16 years ago

  Like others have said, I hate getting stuck with the dancer I have no interest in. I want to them to go away, so the dancers I am interested in will dance for me. I always turn down the first dancer who asks. I usually annoyed when I have barely gotten a drink and they ask for a dance. sometime I do like to approach the girl. I have found some really hot girls, that are just shy. After I talk to them and have fun, the give really good dances.
• jablake

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  16 years ago

  "I want to them to go away, so the dancers I am interested in will dance for me." I *LOVE* wanna dance. The dancer I'm not interested in comes and goes and if they're all wanna dance types, then presto super hottie will come calling soon enough. One negative with making a first approach especially in cheap "wanna dance" type clubs is that it can be awkward upon speaking briefly with what appeared to be a hot dancer you then decide you rather forego the dance. If only I'd been a tad more patient, then I could have just waited for her to do the wanna dance. OTOH, the very hot dancers can be snapped up and retained forever when the dances are $5 per song. That is why customers will sometimes interrupt to get in line for the next dance when the dancer finally finishes for her current customer.