Your ideal strip club
Book Guy
I write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
Let's say you're God Of Strip Clubs for an hour and you can magically snap your fingers and create an ideal strip club. What would you make sure you included? Left out?
I know I'd have a place that had a variety of rooms, descending into ever more and more depraved services. Perhaps the front would even be a "normal" club, and there might be incentives to coax the civilian girls into slowly working their way backwards.
I'd make sure the sound system never got too loud, and the stage-lights never shined in the customers' eyes.
I'd make sure the girls were hot, of course; and well provided-for; and horny. Maybe spike their drinks with a little ecstasy (if that's possible; I don't even know if that would work) or some other Spanish Fly funzies.
Oh. And I'd provide tons of condoms. :)
I know I'd have a place that had a variety of rooms, descending into ever more and more depraved services. Perhaps the front would even be a "normal" club, and there might be incentives to coax the civilian girls into slowly working their way backwards.
I'd make sure the sound system never got too loud, and the stage-lights never shined in the customers' eyes.
I'd make sure the girls were hot, of course; and well provided-for; and horny. Maybe spike their drinks with a little ecstasy (if that's possible; I don't even know if that would work) or some other Spanish Fly funzies.
Oh. And I'd provide tons of condoms. :)
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27 comments
I'd think about maybe letting the dancers set their own prices for "extras", and I'd try & keep the LDs to ~$15/topless dance & ~$20/nude dance (the dancers would control the amount of touching as well). The dancers would get to keep the majority of that LD money and all their money from "extras"...no upfront tip-outs and no encouraged upfront tipping by the customers. Hell, if the girls even wanted to unionize...that'd even be cool with me. Stage tipping would be allowed, but no groping the dancers while they were onstage. We'd have clean, well-lit, well-stocked bathrooms!
The only problem with this type of club in the states IMO would be drugs and/or violence just outside the club (we'd need security & cameras out there I guess). Also, I'm sure the local politicians and some of the local community wouldn't want "that kind of activity" in their neighborhood, but RI is known for corrupt politicians that love a good bribe too... ;)
So, we'd be in business for about a week or so before I'd lose all my money...lol...
You walk in the front door, and the room to your right has music and comedy acts, and girls to provide the GFE. The next room to the right is a strip club. Directly across the hall from the room is private rooms for extras.
Across the hall from the first room would be a restaurant with an erotic theme (topless waitresses????)
Upstairs would be rooms for all night GFE's and prolonged extras.
Pirate's Den, agreed, now that was a great club!
Heh. OK so math isn't my strong suit ...
Then for when you get tired of a regular strip club, a laser tag strip club where the dancer dances on stage like normal but you can shoot her with an infrared beam and light up her lights near her nipples and lower regions if you score a hit. As a reward a couple of other hot strippers race up beside you and kiss you on both sides.
Then you can walk into another arena and it looks like the bordello of sexy vampire strippers with very pretty dancers with real looking fangs with devishly good music playing.
In none of these places does the DJ talk very much.
I would like a little more of the "sports bar with strippers" feel like you get at King of Diamonds in MN. I would like to see nude dancers everywhere like you used to see at the Deja Vu chain when nude "private" dances were done on coffee tables around the perimeter of the room. You would walk in a see 50 writhing nude bodies.
I would like to see more of the party "anything could happen" atmosphere like you get at the Lumberyard chain. They have a talent for regularly hosting special events that attract coeds that want to show their tits.
I like the very sexy and friendly waitresses at Babydolls in Dallas. It would be even better if they would flash for tips like at the Bare Chest in WI. I would really like to see topless waitresses (or nude like a once saw at a WV bar)but I suppose that is too much to ask for.
I too would like to see more theme dances, especially Catholic school uniforms and co-eds in flip-flops. But I want them to get naked fast and get their well lit pussies up in my face. I would like to see more than one on stage at a time, especially if they interact like you sometimes see at Lumberyard clubs or shower shows like Roxies. I remember one time in an East St.Louis area club when one dancer spread the lips on another dancers pussy to give me a better view. I still get wood just thinking about it. I like the kind of stage interaction that you get at Minx in Des Moines.
I would like to see a return to $10 dances. I swear that I spend much more money when it is in smaller increments. I dump a bundle at Tuxedos in Davenport, IA where dances are $15 for the first and $10 for each consecutive dance.
Manager, are you listening? Get half this stuff at one club and you will have wall-to-wall customers without having to force your dancers to give blow jobs in the back room.
1) In a way, it already exists in an imperfect way, the Mitchell Brothers O'Farrel Street Theater in San Francisco. An emporium of strippers, skin, toys, fantasy rooms, porn, sex, girl-girl shows, themed shows, sex, did I forget to say sex? But it can be very expensive if you want to play all night. No bar service is available and only limited n.a. beverages. Most of the fun is metered and you pay for time before you pay the girl. Sound crazy? It is. But you can simply pay the entrance fee and walk around and watch if you're not going to participate-which would be hard to do. Every SC lover should try it once.
2) Now, if I were building from scratch with my own preferences:
First, no cover charge. Everyone would know your name if you were a regular and would be required to greet you with a hello Mr. ____
when you arrived. It would be a clean place but not overly pretentious. Subdued lighting on the main floor, dark corners. But enough light around the stage area so you can see the dancers. No mirrors on the walls, no flashy lights. No obnoxious DJ. The music would be automated and arranged by prior selection of the dancers. It wouldn't be too loud and would be themed to match the demographic mix of the majority of customers. Customers would have the option of preselecting songs for their ATFs to dance to. There would be a bar with only women bartenders and they would be hot. And they would be required to flirt with you and dance with you for tips at the bar. In other words--no more hot bartenders we can't have. Dancer and customer drinks would be priced the same (actually they should be free, but I'm trying to stay a litle real here).
There would be modestly priced theme rooms for private shows and dances, say for about $25 to the house and $15 /dance to the girl+tip for good service and would feature the following:
-customer choice of traditional private lap dance room with chairs or room with couches, plus
-bed dance room
-girl-girl/toy show
-massage theme room
-street clothes to dancewear room show
-shaving show
-build your own fantasy room
-there would be dial-a-meter lap dances so you could vary the intensity of the contact to suit your mood or preference. (No more grind it till it falls off on purpose dancers.)
There would be no cameras.
Extras would be the norm but not required. It's always customer/dancer choice.
Any dancer badmouthing another dancer would be warned once, twice and then asked to leave. Dancers wold have lockers, showers, taning beds and large, clean dressing rooms.
The words "wana dance" would be banned from the language within the first three minutes of a dancer meeting a customer.
Dancers would be required to learn how to flirt.
Dancer schedules would be prominently posted in the lobby.
No bouncers in private dance area.
No shot girls.
No men's rom atendant, but al the niceties they provide would be available as a courtesy in the lobby.
There would be a hostess who would ensure al dancers worked and mingled with customers and would find a dancer you were loking for.
There would be a master of ceremonies, not a DJ, who would provide some context about dancers and what's going on, but in a subtle way, with humor and with respect for customers and dancers.
There would be no dancers under 21. The would be no overly skiny girls. There would be no overweight girls. There would be a topless stage and a nude stage. Every girl would be required to cycle around to each per set.
Monopolizing by regulars for all night would be prohibited but time allowances wold be ensured for customers and their ATFs.
The club would be operated like a mutual insurance company-if you come enough you own a piece of the pie. (hmmm)
The laser gun has a broadcast transponder which links her erotic response to you alone. So, after her stage set she comes over and begs you for more ... Fun. Rewards for good shootin'.
I would give dancers a wider age range. 18 to 45 is ok with me if they look good and fit. Actually if you can't tell that they look too old, I'm ok.
Maybe it should be a requirement that hot female customers have to go topless at least once when they go to tip a dancer on stage. I think that would be nice. Some do already though.
Right behind it was "Fancy Pants" where booth handjobs and open zipper laps were the norm. So was DATY at the stage and a couple tables in the back....sure miss those places.
The Celebrity House private parties were just that, private, so do as you please. In this case, it was encouraged! Usually you had to be told about them by a dancer or the owner who I got to know pretty well. During normal hours, the celebrity house could get really wild, but also discreet - sometime the nude dancers would stand on your table, squat down, and run their pussy over your tongue - they DIDN'T want you to move your head - it make it too obvious.
Fancy Pants was just plain wide open - had 6 - 8 booths were handjobs were the standard fare, everyone knew it. I think they were paying off the locals. Dark corner open zipper slip-it-in was common, too. The dancers would say "dance one I take it out, dance 2 I slip it in, if you don't cum by dance 3 you get finnished off by a handjob in a booth." Spent a LOT of time in these places - bet I "got there" at least 20 - 25 times. They even had what they called a "freak show" occasionally and a customer would get blown on the stage. When the stage stuff happened, the door was locked.
... and I'd love to hear of any places that are like that NOW ...