Your ideal strip club

I'd like to bring the wide selection of choice & openness that most FS Quebec strip clubs provide (where pretty much anything goes) to the states, like maybe in RI (where prostitution is legal indoors). Having some "theme" rooms (all the VIP areas would have doors that would lock with NO monitoring equipment in them) might help...this one Quebec club has a "dungeon" room apparently. I'd charge a slightly higher than normal cover charge (maybe $15?) and make sure that the drinks weren't too outrageously priced (maybe even have free non-alcoholic drinks?). There'd be no special, VIP-treatment, discounts, or anything else like that...all customers would be treated equally. There'd be a wide selection of girls of all ethnicities, body types, and almost all ages (no old hags tyvm). I think that everyone would either have to be searched or would have to go through a metal detector to get into the club (even club staff) in order to ensure safety, a low "thug factor", and no drugs or cameras in the club. We'd have a digital, computerized sound system (maybe even a live house band on occasion?) with a good mix of music types & DJs that knew how to announce without being annoying and without ear-spliting music volume.

I'd think about maybe letting the dancers set their own prices for "extras", and I'd try & keep the LDs to ~$15/topless dance & ~$20/nude dance (the dancers would control the amount of touching as well). The dancers would get to keep the majority of that LD money and all their money from "extras"...no upfront tip-outs and no encouraged upfront tipping by the customers. Hell, if the girls even wanted to unionize...that'd even be cool with me. Stage tipping would be allowed, but no groping the dancers while they were onstage. We'd have clean, well-lit, well-stocked bathrooms!

The only problem with this type of club in the states IMO would be drugs and/or violence just outside the club (we'd need security & cameras out there I guess). Also, I'm sure the local politicians and some of the local community wouldn't want "that kind of activity" in their neighborhood, but RI is known for corrupt politicians that love a good bribe too... ;)

So, we'd be in business for about a week or so before I'd lose all my money...lol...

I think the only place where this place could exist would be is in Nevada.

You walk in the front door, and the room to your right has music and comedy acts, and girls to provide the GFE. The next room to the right is a strip club. Directly across the hall from the room is private rooms for extras.

Across the hall from the first room would be a restaurant with an erotic theme (topless waitresses????)

Upstairs would be rooms for all night GFE's and prolonged extras.

Mine would be a classy club setting. Not this gaudy embarassing shit you see today. The girls would all be dressed in the rockabilly pin-up style. (I love that look.) The stage shows would be themed. The girls would spend time with you at your table before taking you to a private suite in the back for lap dances. And oh yeah, the bar would have the best liqours, decent mexican food, and the DJ would be replaced by a person whose job it was to play music, make announcements and then SHUT THE FUCK UP! And all at a volume that dosen't cause discomfort or inhibit socializing.

In addition to anything mentioned by any of the above, mine would have all of my ATFs. All of them would be just the way I remembered them and all my fantasies about each would be fully realized.

I'd start with Brad's Brass Flamingo with it's party atmosphere, young funky girls, and low prices and add several small private rooms with a comfy little sofa in each. I think that would pretty much do it. Then it would be a larger version the old Pirate's Den in Key West, which is the closest thing to a perfect club I've ever seen.

FONDL,

Pirate's Den, agreed, now that was a great club!

Another thing I'd make possible at my club, would be full benefits (mainly medical) and child-care for the dancers. I think we all should have access to that in the first place; and as long as the government is going to drop the ball, then I'm going to pick it up as best I can. I realize I won't be making a lot of money off this place, if I go in for spending all sorts of income I could keep in my own pocket. But really, if I own the building, and can live in a modest apartment and use this place as my "home away from home" (watch all major ball games on the big screen in "my" club), then all I really need is $40K income before taxes: the rest of it would just go to strip clubbing anyway ...

Heh. OK so math isn't my strong suit ...

Some great ideas so far. My club would have a metal detector like machine that everybody, dancers and patrons, are required to pass though. When you walk through, it rids you of any STD's. No condom machines on the premises. Lots of hot towels.

hmmm, I don't know if my club would be a strip club. Maybe instead of a sign that said 2 drink minimum required that you didn't see right away, a sign that says, you must receive at least 2 BJ minimum, on the house of course. Free drinks, free food (hot pizza, hamburger and fries, lots of hot naked dancers. Then even an arcade car racing area and some other video arcade games for when you want to take a break but don't want to take a long break from the regular strip club.

Then for when you get tired of a regular strip club, a laser tag strip club where the dancer dances on stage like normal but you can shoot her with an infrared beam and light up her lights near her nipples and lower regions if you score a hit. As a reward a couple of other hot strippers race up beside you and kiss you on both sides.

Then you can walk into another arena and it looks like the bordello of sexy vampire strippers with very pretty dancers with real looking fangs with devishly good music playing.

In none of these places does the DJ talk very much.

To add to the laser tag strip club arena, a laser tag sniper rifle and scope would be pretty cool to for those really long shots. If the scope magnified the dancer so you could see her good, all the better.

there are certainly some vivid imaginations here. i think my club would be based on the Platinum Plus in Columbia or the old Platinum Plus in Memphis. no cover, reasonable drinks, especially non-alcoholic ones. great sound system at the right volume, DJ who understands that less is more. Barmaids and waitresses dressed in sheer, tight wifebeaters and short skirts. a no trolling rule for waitresses. large, soft, supportive couches in private area for no-holds barred lap dances. no security. what happens in private stays private. between consenting adults.

Sorry, hit the submit button by mistake. dancers will range in age from 21- 40. from beauty queens to girls next door. hot milf's to sexy teens. no fake tits, no tattoos.

Many of your ideas are within reach and I wish club managers would take note. Special thanks to TUSCL_Brother for his excellent suggestions.

I would like a little more of the "sports bar with strippers" feel like you get at King of Diamonds in MN. I would like to see nude dancers everywhere like you used to see at the Deja Vu chain when nude "private" dances were done on coffee tables around the perimeter of the room. You would walk in a see 50 writhing nude bodies.

I would like to see more of the party "anything could happen" atmosphere like you get at the Lumberyard chain. They have a talent for regularly hosting special events that attract coeds that want to show their tits.

I like the very sexy and friendly waitresses at Babydolls in Dallas. It would be even better if they would flash for tips like at the Bare Chest in WI. I would really like to see topless waitresses (or nude like a once saw at a WV bar)but I suppose that is too much to ask for.

I too would like to see more theme dances, especially Catholic school uniforms and co-eds in flip-flops. But I want them to get naked fast and get their well lit pussies up in my face. I would like to see more than one on stage at a time, especially if they interact like you sometimes see at Lumberyard clubs or shower shows like Roxies. I remember one time in an East St.Louis area club when one dancer spread the lips on another dancers pussy to give me a better view. I still get wood just thinking about it. I like the kind of stage interaction that you get at Minx in Des Moines.

I would like to see a return to $10 dances. I swear that I spend much more money when it is in smaller increments. I dump a bundle at Tuxedos in Davenport, IA where dances are $15 for the first and $10 for each consecutive dance.

Manager, are you listening? Get half this stuff at one club and you will have wall-to-wall customers without having to force your dancers to give blow jobs in the back room.

Wow, the ideal strip club--two answers.
1) In a way, it already exists in an imperfect way, the Mitchell Brothers O'Farrel Street Theater in San Francisco. An emporium of strippers, skin, toys, fantasy rooms, porn, sex, girl-girl shows, themed shows, sex, did I forget to say sex? But it can be very expensive if you want to play all night. No bar service is available and only limited n.a. beverages. Most of the fun is metered and you pay for time before you pay the girl. Sound crazy? It is. But you can simply pay the entrance fee and walk around and watch if you're not going to participate-which would be hard to do. Every SC lover should try it once.

2) Now, if I were building from scratch with my own preferences:

First, no cover charge. Everyone would know your name if you were a regular and would be required to greet you with a hello Mr. ____
when you arrived. It would be a clean place but not overly pretentious. Subdued lighting on the main floor, dark corners. But enough light around the stage area so you can see the dancers. No mirrors on the walls, no flashy lights. No obnoxious DJ. The music would be automated and arranged by prior selection of the dancers. It wouldn't be too loud and would be themed to match the demographic mix of the majority of customers. Customers would have the option of preselecting songs for their ATFs to dance to. There would be a bar with only women bartenders and they would be hot. And they would be required to flirt with you and dance with you for tips at the bar. In other words--no more hot bartenders we can't have. Dancer and customer drinks would be priced the same (actually they should be free, but I'm trying to stay a litle real here).

There would be modestly priced theme rooms for private shows and dances, say for about $25 to the house and $15 /dance to the girl+tip for good service and would feature the following:

-customer choice of traditional private lap dance room with chairs or room with couches, plus
-bed dance room
-girl-girl/toy show
-massage theme room
-street clothes to dancewear room show
-shaving show
-build your own fantasy room
-there would be dial-a-meter lap dances so you could vary the intensity of the contact to suit your mood or preference. (No more grind it till it falls off on purpose dancers.)
There would be no cameras.
Extras would be the norm but not required. It's always customer/dancer choice.
Any dancer badmouthing another dancer would be warned once, twice and then asked to leave. Dancers wold have lockers, showers, taning beds and large, clean dressing rooms.
The words "wana dance" would be banned from the language within the first three minutes of a dancer meeting a customer.
Dancers would be required to learn how to flirt.
Dancer schedules would be prominently posted in the lobby.
No bouncers in private dance area.
No shot girls.
No men's rom atendant, but al the niceties they provide would be available as a courtesy in the lobby.
There would be a hostess who would ensure al dancers worked and mingled with customers and would find a dancer you were loking for.
There would be a master of ceremonies, not a DJ, who would provide some context about dancers and what's going on, but in a subtle way, with humor and with respect for customers and dancers.
There would be no dancers under 21. The would be no overly skiny girls. There would be no overweight girls. There would be a topless stage and a nude stage. Every girl would be required to cycle around to each per set.
Monopolizing by regulars for all night would be prohibited but time allowances wold be ensured for customers and their ATFs.
The club would be operated like a mutual insurance company-if you come enough you own a piece of the pie. (hmmm)

I guess I'd install an orgasmatron (once they invent it) too. And on that laser-tag subject, how bout if you hit the target on the girl, SHE AUTOMATICALLY CUMS?

The laser gun has a broadcast transponder which links her erotic response to you alone. So, after her stage set she comes over and begs you for more ... Fun. Rewards for good shootin'.

Yeah, lol, good shooting, hey, I just had another idea, what if the lights were just slightly inside and it made her pussy glow in the dark? I'm not sure how a sensor would pick up the infrared beam unless a tiny part stuck out a little. I can imagine some feature entertainer eventually trying something like this instead of the dollar bill toss and give out laser guns and have them shoot them at her pussy or a tiny spot on her pussy from their table. Then a wireless device could light up on their table if they hit the bulls eye and they get a free lap dance or 5 dollar rub on the stage. I don't know, that might need a few more bells and whistles to make it fun.

I would give dancers a wider age range. 18 to 45 is ok with me if they look good and fit. Actually if you can't tell that they look too old, I'm ok.

Maybe it should be a requirement that hot female customers have to go topless at least once when they go to tip a dancer on stage. I think that would be nice. Some do already though.

Oh, one more thing, when a dancer climbs down off the stage and sits on your lap, no more bouncers coming over to warn the dancer. She probably would have been ok if she hadn't left the stage or been completely naked. She did have shoes on so I guess she was partially clothed. I was thinking that is what I call close. A bit surprising as well. hmmm, she didn't know the club rules and I didn't try to take advantage of her. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Another thought. Key-tags with bar-codes, which log the girls in. These little things could be easily connected to "dancer inventory" functions on the internet, so you could find out who is not only (A) scheduled to work but also (B) actually in the building and actually working. They'd function as clock-in for the management, too, because that way they'd know who really did arrive for her shift or really did start dancing on stage at exactly 9. Transponders in their shoes, maybe?

I'd vote for 1/3 or so of the on-stage or VIP dances to start with the girl in something like "normal world" clothes, instead of stripper gear. Sexier to me to see some hot girl dressed like she's on her way home from work, peel out of it, no? Way back in the day I think the Playboy channel ran a show called the Great American Strip-Off and, if I remember right and if I was seeing right through scrambled analog cable in 1985, they always started dressed like regular women.

A lot of good ideas , some a little far fetched but the topic was left open so I guess thats o.k. For all of you who ever visited Nashville in the late 90's there was a joint that was about as perfect as can be by my standards. It was called "Private Dancer" located in a two story house in the restaurant district surrounding Vanderbilt University. It was open close to 24 hours a day and usually had 6-10 college age cuties who would line up for you after you entered the door. No cover by the way. Once inside you could pick the girl of your choice or sit on a couch in the waiting room until your dream girl returned from a session with someone else. Once you picked the girl you paid a fee of 4 songs for $50 (other times from 1 dance to an hour were also available). Once inside the locked room the girl would get completely nude, give you a full contact lap dance, ask you to get comfortable(nude), and for a 20 dollar tip would give a memorable HJ or more. Boy do I miss that place.

The perfect strip club DID exist some years ago in Highland Park, MI, the Celebrity House. Always nude, good prices for everything, and often you'd get your tongue very wet. Once every 3 or 4 months they'd be closed in the evening for the same setting, but a "private" party night - believe the fee was about $40.00 and well worth it. Anything goes, no rules, usually started out with one of the dancers taking a guy up on stage, dropping his pants and sucking him until he shot into the air. At the first party I remember, the dancer was sucking a guy standing up, she had her "outfit on" but was removing it while she was doing the guy...when she was nude, she layed on the stage on her back, spread her legs wide, and got screwed right there. The dancers and waitresses usually got topless or top with bottom off very early. Open masturbation was OK and encouraged by the DJ. The dancers or waitresses would come over to offer you a drink, grab your dick, straddle your lap, etc. - you could get sucked off sitting at the bar while spun around facing the stage watching the stage show. The stage show could be a girl with a customer, 2 dancers 69'ing, etc. No holds barred - have very fond memories there.......on of my most memorable was a dancer I knew for some time sat next to me at a seat that was a very long soft bench with a row of tables - she pulled me out, stroked, went down on me........then I got her to sit of the table while I sucked her off. This is NOT a Penthouse letter - anyone remembering the Celebrity House and went to one of many private parties remember this. The perfect club doesn't need to be invented - just brought back!

Celebrity House: how come I've never heard of it? How come I never went there!!!?

""Celebrity House: how come I've never heard of it? How come I never went there!!!?""

Right behind it was "Fancy Pants" where booth handjobs and open zipper laps were the norm. So was DATY at the stage and a couple tables in the back....sure miss those places.

Wondering how they got away with it? I have known of an odd "full service" joint here or there in different cities -- Houston, Tampa, Toronto -- and of course there are the notorious San Francisco places. But are you talking about something similar?

Highland Park, MI had a mayor who had a sordid reputation for frequenting the strip joints, although the news didn't involve this kind of thing. Discretely, it was all fine with him.

The Celebrity House private parties were just that, private, so do as you please. In this case, it was encouraged! Usually you had to be told about them by a dancer or the owner who I got to know pretty well. During normal hours, the celebrity house could get really wild, but also discreet - sometime the nude dancers would stand on your table, squat down, and run their pussy over your tongue - they DIDN'T want you to move your head - it make it too obvious.

Fancy Pants was just plain wide open - had 6 - 8 booths were handjobs were the standard fare, everyone knew it. I think they were paying off the locals. Dark corner open zipper slip-it-in was common, too. The dancers would say "dance one I take it out, dance 2 I slip it in, if you don't cum by dance 3 you get finnished off by a handjob in a booth." Spent a LOT of time in these places - bet I "got there" at least 20 - 25 times. They even had what they called a "freak show" occasionally and a customer would get blown on the stage. When the stage stuff happened, the door was locked.

Snowtime, at the time you mentioned, Nashville had numerous "jack shacks", so did Atlanta.

Dangit Beachboner you're making me jealous ...

... and I'd love to hear of any places that are like that NOW ...