tuscl

Songs you would prefer not to hear during your lapdance

Enya-Only Time

Anything by the Ramones and their minute and 40 second songs.

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Avatar for Meshuggah
Meshuggah

A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying - The Bloodhound Gang

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Avatar for rattdog
rattdog

miracle cure by the who.

the only way one might ever hear this song at the club is it's the last day on the job for the dj and he feels like fucking around.

so imagine in the lapper room and you here this shit. the song is 12 seconds long. once it's done the dancer goes that's the first song. would you like another?

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Avatar for blahblahblahs
blahblahblahs

I've heard Enya at Mary's in Portland. That isn't the reason, but I recommend avoiding Mary's.

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Avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael

Unless it's something incredibly outside the norm, like sea shanties or polka music, I'm not going to care.

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Avatar for skibum609
skibum609

Questioningly; her eyes looked at me; and then she spoke; aren't you someone; I used to know; and weren't we lovers a long time ago;

Looked pretty close; forced her into view; yes I said, you're a girl; I once may have knew;

But I don't love you anymore; what do you want to talk me for; you should have let me just walk by; memories make us cry;

In the morning; I'm at work on time; my boss he tells me; that I'm doing fine; when I'm going home; whiskey bottle, movie on tv; memories make me cry; and I'm alone just me; just me......................................

3:21 seconds long and a great lap dance song. Thank you Rmones.

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Avatar for ancientlurker
ancientlurker

A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying - The Bloodhound Gang
A stripper picked that to play for her stage set, must be 10 or so years ago. I had never heard it before. She thought it was hilarious.

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Avatar for blahblahblahs
blahblahblahs

I would love to hear sea shanties in a club. And actually, polka would be ok because so many dancers match their movements to the song to keep themselves entertained.

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Avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael

Strip clubs definitely bypassed the "Wellerman" trend of a couple of years ago.

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Avatar for PAWG_Patrol
PAWG_Patrol

A strip club DJ played Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry Be Happy" once which was a complete vibe killer.

On the plus side, it's almost 5 minutes long 😎

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Avatar for skibum609
skibum609

Eric Clapton's version of the Hendrix song "Little Wing" at close to 7 minutes was the highlight of a trip to the old Inner Room 25 years ago. Flet bad that they played the full song when laps were $6.00.

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Avatar for mike710
mike710

"Don't Touch Me There" by the Tubes

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Avatar for azdd
azdd

I actually once heard Butterfly Kisses in a strip club, thought I was hearing things. IFKYK

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Avatar for Studme53
Studme53

Lovin you
is easy cause your beautiful
Do la doodlely do
(Extremely high note here) Ah ah ah aaaah aaaah

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Avatar for Studme53
Studme53

^ had to google it - Minnie Ripperton

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Avatar for skibum609
skibum609

^^ Such a terrible song, but the worst boner killer ever: Jet Boy Jet Girl. Elton Motello. Exact same music as Ca plan pour Moi; note for note. Exact same music, which is great, but with lyrics such as "gonna rape, gonna penetrate, gonna make him be a girl", it's not so great.

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Avatar for Icey
Icey

Rock music gives me a headache.
Other than that, anything besides sexxy red or partynextdoor songs is good.

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Avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD

This is a bit of a throwback, but Trap Queen by Fetty Wap. I don't mind the song but find his vocals distracting.

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Avatar for dannyboy3
dannyboy3

Was at a place recently where they put on mariachi music. I think the little guy inverted during the song

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Avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan

One that drove me nuts recently is Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65. I always think the lyrics are saying I need a guy or something like that. I don't need to hear a song that makes me think of gay sex in a strip club, even if that's not the actual lyrics.

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Avatar for misterorange
misterorange

Anything by the Beatles. Not that I don't like the music, but just doesn't feel like lap dance music. Possible exception might be Come Together.

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Avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael

^^ Speaking of the user three comments above, "Danny Boy" would be a weird choice.

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Avatar for skibum609
skibum609

Strauss' minute walz.

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