FindMyPhone

Trade in the iPhone for a flip phone. (Kidding) Seriously, tell her that turning on location means almost anyone can track you down, perhaps for nefarious or at least unwanted reasons. Therefore you don't use it, period.

My idea would be to find a new SO. Those who do not trust others, do not themselves deserve to be trusted. I leave my unlocked phone and computer where my wife could look at everything. If I have to hide it from her, I don't do it. If I am strip clubbing I say to her bye honey going to desires, love you, kiss you when I get home and she responds: "have fun".

How lucky for you skibum that you can operate in the open. The reality is that many of us lead compartmentalized lives, because our wives would not be OK with any form of strip club activity. To the OP - I’ve been concerned about the day my wife asks me to turn on this feature. Our married kids share their locations with their spouses, friends, etc., and it occasionally comes up in conversation, but so far my wife hasn’t pushed it. I believe there are apps that can spoof your location, but that could create its own problems. My advice is to hold off on this for as long as you can, for as many dumb reasons as you can.

I'm not super familiar with the tech, but could you share your location from say an iPad instead of an iPhone on those occasions when you go somewhere she wouldn't like? For example, work late by bringing your ipad to the office and switch locations while there. Then pick it up on the way home and switch back. That's a lot of logistics and work though.

I'd be more inclined to push back and refuse, or acquiesce and either stop going to the strip club or come clean and keep going. If she's insisting, I'm guessing you've already resisted and if she wasn't already suspicious, she is now.

Don't strip club.
Refuse to activate it.
Leave her.

Not many options here.

"Seems my SO of several years is insisting I share my location with her on my iPhone since she shares hers with me (which I never asked her to do.)"

Tell your SO of several years to fuck off. You should've set up those boundaries when she offered to share her location with you.

Or since you probably won't actually establish relationship boundaries talk to one of your good friends about being your phone runner lol.

Here’s the dilemma….

You could drive off a bridge and if your location tracker was on, your SO could help the police locate your car and rescue you.

Or, conversely you could see young naked women.

No brainer! Leave the tracker off !!!

Actually faking his own death could be a way out if he doesn't need his identity lol...

He can bury his former life next to his balls.

My wife and I would never even discuss some ridiculous shit like this, much less consider doing it. My buddy and his wife are obsessed with this and it only leads to continuous bickering. Not because either one is cheating or doing naughty stuff, it's more like he checks on her and he's like, "Goddammit she's late picking up the kid from school". Then he calls and initiates an argument. So stupid.

I know lots of companies monitor their employees with tech like this and, as much as I don't like it, I can't find anything morally or legally wrong with it. I just think it sucks. But in a personal relationship? Fuck no.

For the purposes of arguing against it, I'm sure there's plenty of articles online offering arguments about it on both sides. Read up a little, pick the arguments you think will be most effective & make your case.

Without trust on both sides, without reservation, there is no relationship. Please feel free to argue with me on this, citing your sources, because I base my opinion on 4+ decades of practicing family law and 55 years of dating/sex with women.
Sex is the single stupidest reason to be in a relationship and the single stupidest reason to end one.

@Dolfan.. agree there are some reasons not to activate this feature being hacked mostly, emphasize this to SO

If you and her have gone into FindMy and selected sharing locations, there’s nothing you can do about her knowing your location unless you turn off GPS. But even then I believe the E2EE comms between all Apple devices will give away your location. She’ll know where you are. To be covert: park in front of a restaurant or establishment right next to the SC. I believe in FindMy you can custom name a location (for places you commonly go). Name it Harmless Establishment A. when she looks at your location it may not be precise and it’ll show up as Harmless establishment. Or leave your phone in the car so your never located at the SC

Edit of last sentences: when she looks at your location it may not be precise and it’ll show up as Harmless establishment A. Or leave your phone in the car so YOU’RE never located at the SC

^That would work because no way would a suspicious person show up at the restaurant, thinking you were on a date with another, find you are not there, and never suspect the strip club. Also, I tried thinking of just one, but I have never seen a restaurant next to a strip club.

Mr SkiBum,

Two examples in your neck of the woods of restaurants sharing parking areas with clubs:
Boardroom Cafe and Ten's in Salsbury.

Is being married to her so wonderful that you are willing to give up your liberty? I can't see it. Especially since she is the suspicious and intrusive type.

I would ask her: "Are you sure this is really important to you? Because this may well be the end for us."

Fortunately my wife isn't the suspicious type, or perhaps she's figured me out long time ago and thinks it's better to leave well enough left alone.

You said SO. Are you married? Do you have kids together?

If these are both Nos and you want to go to strip clubs, please dump her.

There are some restaurants or other similar establishments near strip clubs. Port Hole Pub and Shadow Cabaret in Pompano are in strip mall's that share parking lots with restaurants, so are Goldfinger in Sunrise and Sensations in Stuart. There's a church about a block away from Diamond Dolls you could park & walk if you were adventurous. There's a Thai place across the intersection from Deans Gold in Miami and a Dennys or IHOP across from Cheetah Hallendale. Spearmint Rhino in Palm Beach is in a strip mall with a Gun Range that's open late I think.

There's probably a bunch more, those are just the ones that spring to mind. But that's not really why I'm back in this thread. I have actual advice:

Turn on tracking as requested. Go to a strip club. When she asks about it, turn it around on her. "You are aware they have food at a strip club, right?" Then get all indignant and refuse to answer any further questions.

For those that may not get the admittedly obscure reference, that was a response from that Royce White guy who was questioned about spending campaign funds at Gold Rush.

I didn't say it was good advice.

If she is asking you to turn it on, she is likely concerned about what you are doing. Per Ski, if she can handle it just tell her you are going to the strip club. You don't have to tell her about every gory detail.

If you think she can't handle it, then...

If you don't live together: leave the phone at home when you club.

If you live together: turn off the phone when you club, either when you leave the house or when you are 1/2 way to the club. Turn it back on when you get 1/2 way back.

...if it looks like you are at home or like there was a glitch that didn't update your location for a while, you are in the realm of plausible deniability.

This app claims to spoof your location on iPhone. Makes a PC connection, re-identifies your location. Seems to apply to all the apps in the phone (f.e. if you call for an Uber it might send the Uber to where you CLAIM to be).
www.iphone-to-pc.com

There are several similar apps for Android phones but they seem less invasive. Like, you can simply spoof your Google location without messing with your Uber connection. Here's one
play.google.com

Or, you could get a second phone, a burner-phone only used for clubbing purposes. Would be annoying to have to set up duplicate profiles for the things you want to use at the club (personally, I'd want very little other than Shazam, Uber, and calling and texting capabilities) but otherwise very straightforward, you could even pre-pay.

SO or clubbing. Your choice. Not too many realistic options to keep both without risk. You need to decide whether you want to risk your alibi coming apart with the second phone, spoofing apps, restaurants or you want to risk extra suspicion by refusing to share. Up to you.

@skibum609: "Sex is the single stupidest reason to be in a relationship and the single stupidest reason to end one."

I've said this very thing to people for years. In fact, I could have written most of what you did in your two posts. Except for the practicing law part. 🤣

Almost 40 years of marriage being as open about this stuff as it's possible to be. My wife doesn't usually ask, but when she does, she gets all the details she's asked for.

She used to have an account on here, but she doesn't sign in anymore because she said it was all boring.

I simply cannot imagine having to hide anything from her.

"Seems my SO of several years is insisting I share my location with her on my iPhone since she shares hers with me (which I never asked her to do.)"

When a woman grabs your balls like this, it means you haven't grabbed your balls enough yourself to make sure they're still there. Chances are you have not beat her pussy into submission enough, but that's just a guess. And I mean really kill that mf'er. Like, put a hurtin on the bitch. Make sure she comes hard, preferably multiple times. You do that to her, and she tells you she wants to know your location, you tell her flat out, hell no. You are not an "on the grid" guy. You need the freedom to at least be by yourself. You tell her that after you've made her come hard, and she'll be ok with it. If she's not ok with that, then you didn't beat the pussy hard enough, and it's probably time to move on. If you negotiate on this, it's like negotiating with a terrorist. You will always be negotiating. Draw the fucking line. Do not be afraid of her, of her leaving you, or any of that shit. Be nonchalant about it. You wanna leave? Ok. I don't want you to, but it's your choice. Be the man, so she doesn't have to be. I'm fucking serious.

Although 5footguy is generally a total asshole sometimes he's completely correct as well. LOL

If I'm in a relationship and craving strip clubs, it's usually a sign that the relationship has run its course.

"I simply cannot imagine having to hide anything from her."

That's not a bad way to go. If I ever get the urge to try the domestic thing again I'm going in with my hobby stuff known.

Not sure about on iPhones, but android let's you choose between precise location and approximate location. If you set it to approximate location it basically just goes off of the nearest cell phone tower's location and gives a radius around that. Many clubs are located relatively close to restaurants, bars, stores or other businesses that you could say you were at. If Apple gives you a similar choice that may be an option.

But like others have said, if she is asking you to turn this feature on there may be a trust issue in the relationship. It could be a temporary hiccup or signs of a bigger problem.

Even if the OP gets a burner phone, or leaves his phone "somewhere".....it still won't work because he'll need a back story on why he was at location X for Y amount of time. Especially if he is clubbing in his home town. I suppose this plan would work for out of town, leave real phone in the room.....forward those calls to the burner phone while out.

Yeah - not many options - be open and honest is option 1

Option 2 - buy a second phone on an independent line - leave your phone at your hotel, home or wherever and take your second phone with you.
This will cause you to need to open a second small checking account and Credit Card - use your work address or a P.O. Box as your billing address / turn on e-statements

Then, open up a cash so, Zelle, etc off of that checking account, this way you have other options to pay your “friends with”’ take cash from your primary and deposit it into your second bank account, no online records to your secret checking / credit cards

If she sees the CC on your credit bureau, just call it fraud

This allows you to always have another phone, for Ubers, cash app, organizing OTC, etc. never link the two

You can also use the CC to book trips, buy gifts, etc all under the radar

Then, there is the hope and prey option, turn off Bluetooth and wifi - then turn your phone off before you get to the club, turn it back on when you need an Uber, turn off last know location, and hope she doesn’t look for you while you are in VIP

But you have to turn Bluetooth and wifi off, otherwise even with phone off, you can still be tracked - this option is more dangerous as your have to turn it on to get Uber, but, could add some risk element to the fun in the back, or at the back at the hotel - feels better when 1/2 your shit is on the line, some pussy is worth that, not all…

A lot of people have employer-provided cell phones. If this applies to you, it’s easy to say that your phone is a company-owned and company-managed device, and “find my friends” is a prohibited app due to potential security issues.

Do you all even read what you're writing? This elaborate mousetrap bullshit I wouldn't do for a woman with a pussy spun from gold.

📱 📱 📱 See About Getting An Android Phone, Or Go To Your Phone Store For Assistance. May B They Can Fix It With Your Settings, Re---Fresh Your Phone, Or Find A Way To Block Her. May B You Can De--Activate What Is Causing It. In A Worse Case, You Can Change Your Phone #Number.
Good Luck ~~~ Tuscl ~~~ Strip Cheers

Iknowbetter came up with the same idea I did, sort of. My company manages my phone so I can access corporate cloud apps so I can say that my company policy on managed devices is to disable location services. This is frankly what I was looking for but thanks for all the marital advice!

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when we first practice to deceive," Sir Walter Scott. I think you are on a dangerous slippery slope with your phone and your deception will only get more complicated as your SO begins to ask questions. It's not worth the stress. Tell her the truth - who knows she might want to join you.

Go Airplane mode and when you get back and ask play dumb. I caught up with the guys or Ted needed someone to talk too. He's going through some mid-life crisis. Or went to the movies

Another option: tell her you are not the marrying type, and her request is more than what an especially clingy spouse would ask for. If her thinking was that you two were on the path to marriage, she may dump you. But, in that case, it would be better for your karma anyway.

my wife for sure would want this feature.
(my ex wife.)

Wallanon and Wisetoo absolutely get it. The effort guys here make to pay for a quick, emotionless, mechanical sexual experience is amazing. You're all like the criminal who puts in 20 hours of planning into a robbery, pulls a gun on the clerk, clears out the register, gets away clean, looks at the $127.00 he just stole and realize he makes $6.16 an hour, or $9.00 an hour less than the clerk he just robbed.

@skibum nailed it. That's why I so rarely buy extra these days!

I’m just amazed at how much effort you guys put into deceiving your SOs, trying to understand what made many of y’all get married in the first place.

The reality is that this isn't considered a weird or intrusive thing in many marriages these days. I know guys who do this with their wives and it's both a benefit and sometimes a critical safety measure.

Stipulating, of course, that no one is doing secretive naughty things...

If you Google this tech in conjunction with marriage, you'll see that a lot of the questions and articles target guys who think their wives are cheating on them just as much as the reverse scenario. There's also a lot of content on the legality of using this collected GPS data in divorce proceedings.

The reality is that it's getting harder to get away with stuff, particularly in a marriage. There are still some short-term means to get around this sort of digital accountability, but if a spouse wants any sort of habitual extra-marital fun then they should prepare for eventual failure.

@25

It’s really not that difficult to understand.

In Massachusetts the infidelity of your spouse with 300 others and $3.00 will buy you coffee at Dunkins. Unless a spouse is fucking their lover in front of the kids, few things mean less in divorce court here. I have filed one complaint for divorce on the grounds of adultery in my career and that was in 1983.

OP, just a thought that if push comes to shove you can apply the feature on your phone and anytime you go to the club simply turn it off until you leave.

Reading through all these uppity comments from “Dumb” posters shows me they failed to read your post, which is the wife isn’t demanding anything, she is simply doing what most women do, which is they follow others in the group with their ultra herd mentality. Since her offspring is onboard with the tech feature she believes she should also follow so it may be time to agree with her, but come up with the excuse that your phone died whenever you go into the club for what, an hour or so? Simple solutions for which common sense seems to not apply to those that are “Dumb”!

I'm gonna just leave the original post here...

"Seems my SO of several years is insisting I share my location with her on my iPhone since she shares hers with me (which I never asked her to do.)

This will undoubtedly cause me problems with some of the locations I wind up.

Other than leaving my phone somewhere else, any ideas ?"

Simple solution if using life 360.

If you're the administrator shut off your location sharing in the app on your phone it will show on her phone as "location sharing paused" when it's brought to your attention play dumb turn it back on. After several hours turn it off. Repeat as many times as necessary claiming You have no idea why it's doing that must be a glitch in the app.
If you must reinstall the app and/or pretend to take it in to your provider.
Sorry honey it just doesn't seem to want to work on my phone nothing I can do about it.

I've had life 360 for years able to see her location mine still shows up as "Location sharing Paused"

After 'several years', it may be time to trust the relationship, and share that you sometimes indulge.
Worked for me.

rofl @Mate27 "ultra herd mentality" yup that's a good way to put it

Turning the phone off keeps the location off. “Was out and my phone died”.

The checks in the mail; I promise I will pull out; that outfit looks good on you; no you don't seem to have put on weight; my phone died. All equally believable.

The problem with the "My phone died" family of excuses is that they will be believable for a while... and then they aren't.

My biggest issue with the OP situation is this "why do you have to share locations" People who do this are very clingy and tend to be obnoxious busybodies.

Everyone already offered solutions. Mine is just a repeat: buy a second phone. Phone 1 will be the phone you use in your regular life. Phone 2 will be your strip club phone.

Set Life360 or whater findmyphone app to Phone 1. Leave Phone 1 at whatever location your SO thinks you'd be. Get creative and find a new hobby (ie a socially acceptable hobby) like bowling or camping, preferably something that doesn't include a large mass of people.

I never shared locations when I was married but I am so paranoid I power off the phone before leaving the hotel and just leave it in the car. I operate entirely on a deniable cash basis in the club. It’s still my habit and I just take less stuff into the club now, I don’t even take my wallet, less shit to fall out of pockets and get lost. I was never one to get numbers and text girls either so no issue there. Keeping it old school and off grid as much as possible gives me peace of mind.

Nothing worse than groping on the floor in the club for keys, glasses, phone, etc. Gross.

"Although 5footguy is generally a total asshole sometimes he's completely correct as well. LOL"

Please replace "total" with "partial" and "sometimes" with "pretty much always" and let's shake on it.

I am in 4 high stakes fantasy baseball leagues so my phone is always on and with.me at the club. In addition, how can I call my wife to see if she wants to go out to dinner without it.