Porn Hub Fantasy

You got lucky. Maybe! I hired a cleaning lady last Saturday for the first time in my life. She is a co worker of my daughter's that cleans houses on the side. She is a very pleasant woman in her 40's but no fantasy there. She did a great job of cleaing and will be on an on call basis. I'm not that messy or horny.

Are you looking for suggestoons about subtle ways to hint to her that you want her to bend over and get stuck in the dryer?

'“is there anything else I can do for you”
or better yet if she ever says no solo limpieza

angi's list.....very interesting mongering option. hmmm....

There are services who actually send maids to your house who take their clothes off while they clean, fantasy style. They advertise "no sex" but are open about the maids coming there to take their clothes off. And let's be honest, you know many of them will do whatever you want for the $. Can't remember the site but it's a real thing.

Sounds like some of you guys take the dear penthouse forum too seriously.

I was today days old when I learned that "stuck in the dryer" is an actual thing. If motorhead's new cleaning lady needs that kinda help then I suppose he'd just have to ask "wwgtd?"...

If this doesn’t work you can always start going to funerals like Will Farrell’s character in Wedding Crashers to pick up some tail.

lol - don’t shit where you eat or you’ll end up like George Costanza

@wallanon lol... top 10 in no particular order of things to ask your maid if she would do to earn a little extra cash based on porn hub:
Get your hand stuck in the sink/garbage disposal
Roleplay as my bratty step sister who is a stripper bit mom or dad dont know
Step daughter wants to wear a too small bikini and mom says no but step daddy will bone her
"Fluff my pillows"
Finds porn/sex toys and starts using them
Accidentally spill something on clothes to have excuse to take them off
Walks in in you jerking off and helps
Hears you fucking, listens from the next room, touches herself then wants more when your woman showers after
The whole Casting couch thing.

I may watch too much porn.

I used to think that sort of thing was Penthouse Forum fiction, but over the years I've actually had similar experiences. I've had two cleaning ladies bring their daughters to help them and not even a little bit subtly offer them up. I've never taken them up on it, as the daughters while cute clearly didn't want to be there cleaning and the whole thing felt off. I've never had the cleaning lady herself be cute enough to look at that way though.

I've also had a few strippers see my cleaning lady and either offer to clean themselves or tell me about their friends who clean. I have taken a couple of them up on that, with positive results. The strippers who cleaned actually did a good job, they showed up on time & with their own gear. I think I only did one of the friends who clean, if memory serves she wasn't the greatest at cleaning but she was damn hot.

Good luck.

My cleaning lady is here right now. She’s older, but had a friend help occasionally who was a curvy MILF who I would have given a nice tip to.

It's really simple. The next time she is scheduled make sure you meet her wearing only a towel around your waist and explain you just came from the shower. Then as she prepares to clean "accidentally" have the towel slip from your waist and fall to the floor. Apologize, but If she likes what she sees, then you're "in like Flint."

Fascinating….. I’ll put your odds at better than 50/50. What would you pay her for FS vs. cleaning the house?? Twice the amount of money for half the amount of time?? She might see the value in that. Try some light flirting or complements to take her temperature.

Two words Motörhead: White suit, White suit.

Geez, the closest I got to strippers who clean, was one who recently said she charges $80 an hour to help declutter. (Is "declutter" a euphemism for giving a handjob?)

So she says, the company that does this mostly gets hired after someone in the family dies. A crew go into the house, trash everything that can't be sold, arrange for furniture and kitchen implement donations, put everything viable on E-Bay, leave the place entirely empty, and charge the $80 (usually takes ten days with five people, so that's a neat $4000 for the whole house) and take an additional 40% of any E-Bay sale, and return or keep the items that don't sell, probably to re-sell again in another season. It sounded like a great arrangement to me, my parents are both borderline-hoarders, certainly pack-rats if not actual "buried alive" types, and I'm going to be stuck cleaning up after them when they're gone some day.

If the next time she shows up the tight tee is now a loose crop top and she starts doing lots of overhead cleaning, you might take that as a sign.

This reminds me of the old joke where the stripper says “for $500 I’ll do anything you want”, and you answer, “for $500, bitch paint my house!”

^ Chris Rock said that on an HBO young comedians special when he was like 20. I think it was before New Jack City.

Some of those ideas seem like a great way to get "Me-Too'd". Best left to waiting for her to make a move/suggestion.

They have those nude maid services. They say all over their website that sexual contact is strictly prohibited, but they say that in strip clubs too. I'm sure some of them make a little sumthin' on the side. I've even heard (not verified) of Hooters and Tilted Kilt girls giving blowjobs in the pantry for $100.

My maids are Brazilian and come as a crew. Not attractive but I'm not hiring them in the hopes that it'll turn into a porno.

I once had a stripper offer to clean my house as a side gig. Was not comfortable with a stripper roaming my house, so I declined. This was before VIP's extras were a thing, so no idea how "full service" the cleaning would have been.

Strippers are usually averse to actual manual labor. I’m surprised two people in this thread have commented you’ve gotten them to show up at your place and do real work/cleaning! Man, I must be talking to the wrong girls.

===> "Without sounding Rickish, all I can think of for my next visits is getting more than cleaning services from her.'

You clearly have me misjudged, lol.

My housecleaner is one of the most naturally beautiful women I've laid eyes on in a long time, with a body to match, including a perfectly shaped ass that could launch a thousand ships. She also dresses in tight pants that display that ass very nicely. Frankly I can't believe that she's cleaning houses instead of doing something much more lucrative given how incredibly hot she is, but she has been cleaning my house weekly for almost 2 years now.

Yet despite everything about her, I would never dream of propositioning her. I even make great efforts not to stare at her face or ass when she and her crew are here (she's Brazilian and usually the girls that help her cannot speak English). Why? Because around here good reliable housecleaners are much harder to find than OTC strippers and hot ass sugar babies.

Right now I'm a single Dad with a business to run. I need all the help I can get. This girl and her crew (which seems to turn over monthly) do a great job and show up every week. Also this part of Florida is exploding with incoming transplants, so demand for good housecleaners is higher than the supply. I'm not going to do anything to fuck up a very good thing, lol. There are plenty of hot ass girls I can stick my dick in to relieve the cheese on my brain, but only one who scrubs ny house down every week, lol.

^ the best housekeepers I ever had were Brazilian, too. Brazilian women are some of the most sexually assertive women on Earth. The lead housekeeper was professional, but her assistant was always showing me her ass and tits. I never reacted but I enjoyed the show and she knew it.

^@Gam: In my case, the lead housekeeper is so damned beautiful and sexy that I can't imagine her finding anyone for her crew who could compete with her, though right now she has one who is also rather sexy.

But I bend over backwards to give all of them their space when they're cleaning and to treat them respectfully during my brief interactions with them. They're saving my bacon by showing up each week, lol.

If they are cleaning your house, not only do they know where you live and your real name, but they also have or can make contact with your kids. NFW. It’s also pretty fucking creepy. Best leave this for a fantasy or porn hub search. (Unless she initiates. Still stupidly risky but at least it’s less creepy.)

LOL, what rick said. Maybe not drop dead gorgeous, but quite attractive, house cleaner comes once a month to do a thorough cleaning. My wife and I pick up, but she does the whole place to the gnat's ass.

My wife asked me one time if I'd ever asked her for more, and my response was "Are you kidding? After how long it took to find one who'd do this for that price? I ain't fucking up a good thing by trying to fuck and maybe pissing her off."

To be fair, she's never even hinted at anything more, even when I've been here alone.

Motor ape, listen to my brother the dugan. He is taking you under his wing in a small way as his Padawan, if this rick can use a term from those goofy sci-fi movies. But a rickish Padawan - a rickawan if you will.

Anyhoo…you should be very careful about anything that would scare her off. I mean really…do you know how hard it is to find a cleaning lady who isn’t taken aback by meeting a lion at the door?

However, I will give you one piece of rickawan guidance: wear a stylin’ suit when she’s around. You can’t go wrong with a stylin’ suit even if you aren’t trying to close a deal. ROAR!!!

Hank's point about the IRL identity situation was also my initial thought, but I didn't want your first reply to be a gigantic wet blanket lol.

I'm not as emphatic about the creepiness factor because I've asked girls I see to do stuff they're not 100% cool with. It's always their choice, but it may be a condition of them ever coming back again. Such is life. Please direct all stone throwing away from my brittle-ass house...

"My wife asked me one time if I'd ever asked her for more, and my response was "Are you kidding? After how long it took to find one who'd do this for that price? I ain't fucking up a good thing by trying to fuck and maybe pissing her off.""

was this really your response? would i be correct to assume your wife has been ok with you getting around or otherwise the response would have been way more different? also just curious how would your wife had reacted if you answered yes?

I have a 50's friend whose wife told him if he needed it more than once or twice a week to go buy it somewhere but never bring it home.

He later found out the wife had a guy on the side, and she was getting it a lot more than once or twice a month.

So it all worked out fine.

I used to crack jokes (before "me too") about posting job openings and looking for candidates on Ashley Madison and Seeking Arrangement.

In all seriousness, if she did a good job and you trust her not to steal your shit, do not do anything to mess that up.

Anyways, the long game is to offer her food and drinks every time she comes over. Water, coffee, tea, even beer. If you are ordering takeout offer to get her some.

i should start a cleaning service and randomly send a hooker every 10 single male customers

Rick where are you and others finding these super hot cleaners? All off angis list or how? I cant believe your house cleaner is hotter than the strippers and wears those tight pants while cleaning