Flaking
Muddy
USA
How have your experiences with being bailed on been for OTC? How has it changed how you deal with it over time?
At first into this hobby, I had a stripper evaporate on me, she all excited and nope, no notice just stopped texting me. At first I couldn't believe somebody would do that. I just don't think like that. My word is gold, if I say I'm going to be somewhere or do something I'm going to do it. If that changes I will let you know ahead of time 150%. I hadn't even had a date stand me up before (not that I was a guy that was ever swimming in those)
But still it was kind of shocking, then after a while, one would work, but then wouldn't, then one would work but be super late then the next was a no show. It turned into like 50/50 type thing. Who knows what was going to happen. I would book the hotel ahead of time, everything set up then when it would fall through, I got sick eating that sunk costs.
-Don't get the hotel till the last minute. Like she is actually in your presence last minute.
-I absolutely will never again plan my day around somebody that hasn't built that trust up.
-I always have some sort of primary activity going on, it might be strip clubs, water park, whatever and if the OTC does go through it could drag me out of whatever is going on, but otherwise I gameplan for it not to happen but if does go through, nice surprise.
-They probably are just double and triple booking people so if whatever goes wrong with whatever they got going on, you could be there as an escape hatch. Or they just got high and forgot. I have no idea what goes on, I don't really even care about the why, I'm just trying to hook up and move on.
-End of the day I just get kick out of how predictably unpredictable the whole thing is. I don't get upset at all anymore when it happens because it happens so much.
At first into this hobby, I had a stripper evaporate on me, she all excited and nope, no notice just stopped texting me. At first I couldn't believe somebody would do that. I just don't think like that. My word is gold, if I say I'm going to be somewhere or do something I'm going to do it. If that changes I will let you know ahead of time 150%. I hadn't even had a date stand me up before (not that I was a guy that was ever swimming in those)
But still it was kind of shocking, then after a while, one would work, but then wouldn't, then one would work but be super late then the next was a no show. It turned into like 50/50 type thing. Who knows what was going to happen. I would book the hotel ahead of time, everything set up then when it would fall through, I got sick eating that sunk costs.
-Don't get the hotel till the last minute. Like she is actually in your presence last minute.
-I absolutely will never again plan my day around somebody that hasn't built that trust up.
-I always have some sort of primary activity going on, it might be strip clubs, water park, whatever and if the OTC does go through it could drag me out of whatever is going on, but otherwise I gameplan for it not to happen but if does go through, nice surprise.
-They probably are just double and triple booking people so if whatever goes wrong with whatever they got going on, you could be there as an escape hatch. Or they just got high and forgot. I have no idea what goes on, I don't really even care about the why, I'm just trying to hook up and move on.
-End of the day I just get kick out of how predictably unpredictable the whole thing is. I don't get upset at all anymore when it happens because it happens so much.
11 comments
Lately though, its much less of an issue. Partially I'm sure because most of my OTC is with a dancers I've known a bit and made so called appointments to see ITC a few times first. Similar to your approach, that one has a built in plan b. If I make plans to meet a stripper at the club, and she flakes, I'm at the club anyway and just find a new one. If we've kept plans to meet up ITC a few times, then OTC a few times, it's obvious we both find it mutually beneficial so flaking is rare. Sure, meeting up OTC isn't top priority for either of us so sometimes shit happens and we have to reschedule. But that goes both ways equally and is generally done with some notice. Maybe 1 in 10 or less don't follow through.
Fairly often, the girls are texting me asking if they can meet up OTC. They almost always follow through when they initiate. Also, I tend to bring OTC girls home and it's on days when I wouldn't really be doing anything anyway. So it's not like I'm wasting my Friday night getting stood up, or shelling out for a hotel I didn't need or anything. So impact when a girl does flake is pretty slim. I'll just stay in on my Tuesday afternoon and catch something on Netflix or whatever.
One other thing, I tend to be pretty unforgiving about total flaking. If a dancer just doesn't text me after a planned meet up, and I run into her after a couple weeks of no communication, I pretty much take OTC off the table with her and in many cases stop talking to her ITC since most of my time ITC is simply to setup OTC. I don't get upset about cancellations, even lat minute or even after the fact. But if more than a few days go by and she doesn't reach out to apologize, I lose interest.
Strippers are flakes. They lead messy lives. They drink, take drugs, fight with boyfriends, go to jail. It's surprising they ever show up at all.
I don’t get upset but just won’t waste any more time on somebody who flakes on an OTC meetup absent a good excuse.
The sunk cost of the hotel isn’t an issue when I’m traveling since I would incur that cost anyway. On the rare occasion when I set one up locally I use dayuse.com. No non refundable cancellation fee and you can get good rates for short duration stays at decent chain hotels
^I think Manuellabore is probably about right with that guesstimate.
As far as sunk costs, as others have said, it’s smart to have a backup plan to avoid an unused room fee if possible. I think OTC is one of those things where you get better at it as you go but also get surprised just often enough to remember it’s always hit or miss.
Also, there's the flake rate and the late rate. Hate to think how much time I spent waiting. Oy.
Planning in advance is a different matter. With first time girls I'd say it's 50/50. At least the ones that flake usually have the decency to respond to my same day confirmation text with some excuse or another. Like some others here, with a first time girl I don't book the hotel until i receive confirmation that she's on her way.