Girls who won't Work It
Book Guy
I write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
First you identify yourself. At this club, they are required to parade along bar-top and I'm required to dollar-tip each individually -- I know, not the ideal system, but dem's de rules, and it does have the advantage of forcing every girl to pass by every customer at the bar. I avail myself of this advantage, over-tip, request her presence, make it known I have a wad of money, chat politely, that kind of thing. But after her bar-top stroll she just stands in the corner.
Second you approach her. I walk over casually, after some banter with other dancers on the floor, and ask her who she's text messaging. She replies! She's friendly! I start to like my chances. She says it's so-and-so and she needs to such-and-such and we chat about how she can't text with her fingernails and so on. I sidle up next to her, we lean and contact and I get to grope an ass-cheek and all is going swimmingly. I learn that she claims to have been dancing several years, that she claims to have been at this particular club with this particular other friend for about nine months, and I believe her because I've seen the friend before and because mostly it seems plausible. I like her speaking style, there's a degree of intelligence and wit, she's not blotto on some substance, she's got her brain on normal and is attending to all that is going on around her in a proper manner. But she departs to finish her make-up (or some other excuse) and then she returns to just stand in the corner.
By now I'm getting the message that she finds me creepy. She'll take money from other guys but I'm just too nerdy, or ugly, or fat, or stinky, or cheap, or poorly dressed, or whatever other strange requirement she might have in her head. I am not too crestfallen, there are other girls standing in other corners who may be (definitely WILL be, I soon learn) more receptive.
But I observe further. She rebuffs all. She and her friends, a small gaggle standing in corners together, simply don't ever go back to the back room, simply don't ever take a guy up on any offer he might bring her. Several men approach several of them, they like it in their corner. Aside from the mandatory on-stage gyration (this night, it was one song but no disrobing) and then the subsequent mandatory bar-top stroll (topless), she seems to be mandated to remain inert in her corner.
I have two questions. First, how does she make money? Her tip-outs and fees must add up to more than the paltry fifteen or twenty bucks she'll make over four or six hours of bar-top strolls. Second, why are there so many of them?
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I’ve never heard of the tip parade being mandatory I wouldn’t tip her at all, this sounds to me like a grown man being intimidated by a little girl in her underwear.
I wouldn't ask my best friend who they were texting.
I don't really understand the tipping rules you are describing, but it sounds like they are club rules that are not up to the dancers.
They all work it, but it's up to them how they work it. You must not read these discussions much, we get a post like this every month or so. All the cans of Hormel Chili and the store are the same, so why doesn't Anthracite dance as dirty as Bubbles for $37.50? Most women don't want to strip at all, even if that means they are much poorer. Everyone has different things they are and are not willing to do or put up with to earn money. Get your dances from Bubbles. If even Bubbles doesn't wand to do or tolerate what you want her to, that's just how it goes.
If you are polite (which includes hygiene), your looks will not be an issue with most dancers. Sometimes, when dancers are feeling down, or in a good mood that they don't want to lose, they'll coast a little. They'll stick to customers they recognize, that they find relatively easy to dance for.
It doesn’t matter if they don’t do their job the way you think they should. It doesn’t matter if they are objectively bad at it. It’s their decision and if they opt to not take your money, that’s their decision. Your decision is whether to forget about it and find someone else, or bitch about it.
It sucks if your preferred dancer doesn’t want your money, but chances are that if you get her in the back, she won’t deliver. Maybe if she sees you spending money she’ll come around. Or not. Either way it’s not worth the wasted energy of trying to figure out why a dancer is not behaving like you think she should.
Didn't mean to sound like I was desperate for this one girl, or that I didn't have the good strip-club sense to simply move on to others (rereading, I don't think I did sound like that; the OP is, in fact, explicitly otherwise), I just wanted to describe the situation and share the annoyance.
Also, aside, funny how a few of the replies here seem, to me, to be genuinely pissed off at me for my poor performance (or maybe just trolling). I had forgotten one of the major TUSCL tropes, respondents spoilin' for a fight and making defense-of-poor-helpless-girl the pretext. She'll be fine without you coming to her aid, gentlemen. I don't need your correctives, get over yourselves.
Question for Book Ape: are you any of the following “…too nerdy, or ugly, or fat, or stinky, or cheap, or poorly dressed”? Given that I’m quoting you it seems like one or more of those issues may apply.
Lemme give you some rickvice. It’s called “workin’ the system(TM).” Of course, it will help if you lose some weight if you’re too fat. But that will take time. You can deal with the stinky, cheap, and poorly dressed pretty easily. How? Simple! You take a frickin’ shower, buy a few stylin’ suits, and start spending reasonable amounts of money. The nerdy thing is a challenge too, but you’ll become less nerdy as you become more rickish.
Anyhoo…did you know that it is possible to compensate for bein’ ugly by spending more money? I don’t have direct experience because, as a rick, I am a truly beautiful lion. You have the disadvantage of…well…not bein’ a rick. But there are non-ricks that can have rickish levels of success simply by spending more money.
To recap: buy a stylin’ suit, shower regularly, and spend money. Also start a more intensive workout will help deal with the whole fat thing. Just remember that you should shower after the workout. I don’t have to do that because my lion-y pheromones are charming to most female mammals. Alas, I suspect your ape pheromones are kinda noxious. Take my rickvice and your problems will disappear. ROAR!!!
My spidey-sense says, about the few particular women I experienced on this past weekend, is that they are young and new-ish and probably were just feeling their way into being more aggressive about income.
Overall in general, for all dancers who fit this category, and therefore for those who would be in the minds of most readers, I'm going to have to stick to the sugar-daddy-whale theory as the most likely for most situations.
And to Rickthelion, well, your "rickvice" is true, generally speaking, but presently not particularly germane. We could all use (I suspect this is another TUSCL trope) more lion-ness in any situation. I think I have my strip-club game down nice enough for all my own purposes (or, you may quibble, for ALMOST all of them, given that at least one purpose was not fulfilled and has been recordified in this very thread) and do not generally consider myself any of the "too nerdy, or ugly, or fat, or stinky, or cheap, or poorly dressed, or whatever other" I mentioned. Maybe the "nerdy" applies the most, certainly not the "cheap" since this is a locals-neighborhood club and I'm pretty much a bigger sucker unloading more cash than most, and made sure this particular girl knew it. But still, let's all of use aspire to greater Rickification, if we could, ok? :)
Option 2: stop being a nice guy who makes witty jokes about her fingernails, and tell her what to do. Direct her in a cordial and pleasant way. She will either comply, or she will not. Either way, you are no worse than you would have been. Do not ask a girl like this anything. Don't ask her if she'll come over after she's done. Don't ask her if she wants to dance for you. Don't ask if she'd like to do XYZ. Ask nothing. She views your witty banter and your questions and the chit chat about where she worked with whom as weakness, boring, and a waste of time. She's not turned on by it, she doesn't care enough to put in the work, and that's it. If you need more evidence, look at the corner where she stands, preferring to do nothing rather than take your money.
First from the senile penguin 25 who found it necessary to insult you by saying you're intimitated by girls in their underwear. This is the same guy who threatened to boycott the site unless a two way block was established, yet he's still here. This is also the same guy who is to sad/cheap/broken to spend six dollars to watch an NFL palyoff game. Talk about always spoilin' for a fight. As another member said, "it's not a good look but its the only look some people have."
I also noticed how Hank Moody gets rather pissy in his responses whenever someone has a complaint about dancer actions, prices, etc. If you don't like how one of the junkies act, you have every right to vent if you wish. Hank, the poor helpless girls/ damsels in distress thank you.
Last, despite suggesting to the rick the lion novelty act to cease and desist, the nonsense continues. Rick, if you're proud of yourself, you shouldn't be.
I used to have confusion about why a stripper would care about x/y/z, as long as she's making money. I then concluded that a girl, as with anyone else, prefers to avoid discomfort/awkwardness. If she doesn't feel a connection with a guy, any interaction will be inferior to interaction with a girl that finds something of interest in a PL. It could be his physical attractiveness, humor, fact that he is clean/good-smelling, has a common interest, or anything else.
I don't go any further than eye contact and a brief smile from across the room and/or when she's on stage. More than half the time, that approach results in her approaching me. When it doesn't, I deem it a quick and free determination of the likelihood of a good experience, avoiding an inferior experience.
I don't ever fixate on a certain girl, particularly when there is not a mutual interest in engagement. Who will give a better dance/conversation...someone who wants to be next to you, or someone who is beside you "just because"? Save your time and money for someone who shows interest. Who wants to be with someone, stripper or otherwise, who isn't fully interested in being with them?
I've observed enough body language between strippers and PLs to identify the key signs of interest/disinterest. I've also dodged some bullets after observing a girl of interest with another guy, and concluded that she would not be a good target for company. Of course, a girl could have good rapport with one PL, but not another. They aren't robots, so just as with us, they prefer certain people over others.
I imagine OP has a stable of girls who fawn over him, while those same girls would find others repulsive and annoying. The same applies in reverse.
The beauty of strip clubs lies in its variety and options. If one doesn't work out, move onto the next one.
And, if all else fails, and you are still insistent on getting with the elusive girl, choose and backup girl or two, and see how Top Girl reacts when she sees you spending your bankroll on others.
This statement is so obvious that it amazes me anyone would think otherwise. But some people here actually think that all women are some kind of programmed stepford wives who mechanically take dick and have zero preference about anything, if they are "working". As if they don't have a brain, emotions, and are somehow immune to their own biology. These guys have the money, so they say that's all that matters. As a species, we'll tell ourselves the most nonsense bullshit when our own ego is at stake.
It wasn't enough for her to blow you off after you tipped her well and made your interest crystal clear. You somehow reasoned that if you just went over to her while she was so obviously ignoring you, maybe your wit and charm would win the day.
Maybe next time have a little more pride. If she didn't think you were creepy before, she almost certainly did when you approached her even after she blew you off, no doubt along with pathetic. Even worse, you put on this show in front of others.
She's selling access to her own body. She has every right to choose who she sells that to. She's not a public commodity to be passed around by every self-entitled customer with a 20 burning a hole in his pocket. You took your shot and she declined. That should have been the end of it.
She must be doing something right, otherwise the house mother would have a talk with her. And if she didn't change her behavior the house mother would cut back her schedule. Of course, if the club is desperate for dancers, putting up with her is better then having a shortage or no dancers at all.
Also, she may not need the money. She may have a regular civilian job that pays well and the club just provides the opportunity to meet guys she finds appealing all in a safe environment. And she may get lucky and find a guy she finds appealing who has deep pockets.
1. Think they might be stinky.
2. Take unoffered free samples of the paid service that is provided at the club.
3. Ask strangers who they are texting.
Rough club.
I didnt read through the entire OP… but there could be any number of reasons why a dancer would refuse a dance. As some mentioned yes they could be waiting for a regular/whale… but that shouldn’t be a factor unless they’re thinking he could enter the club any moment.
There could be a hygiene or smell issue or she feels uncomfortable or scared in some way or assumes you want some sort of extras. I doubt its due to age or looks or physical attractiveness. Did you say you grabbed her ass out on the main floor? Not all dancers are open to that since you havent paid technically. Some may become open to it if you are a pre established regular who has already done it in paid circumstances. I’ve never gone for that move with a dancer, and ive always assumed the clubs have some sort of rules about touching out in the main floor anyway.
If you mentioned she rejected a bunch of guys asking for dances.. she may be tired… maybe she has a mental disorder…