Let's focus reviews on dancers + their friendliness, not club layout and parking

At the risk of sounding abelist, I'm not blind, so upon entering the club, I can see for myself if the bar is on the left or the right. And not to brag, but I'm smart enough to figure out how to find the restrooms.

Will there be a men's room attendant? Surprise me!

Similarly, I don't need an entire paragraph on the parking lot. I'm a grown ass man and I'll figure it out.

Here's what I want to know:
- Are the dancers hot?
- Are they friendly?

If the answers to those questions is "no" and "no," I don't care if there's lighted parking and a men's room attendant.

Can I get a witness?



24 comments

Latest

  • Dolfan
    a year ago
    I read your one single review and it doesn't really answer either of those questions.

    People want different things out of reviews. Do I need to know that there are 43 parking spots and they are approximately 92" wide? Or that the bathroom stall on the left is the reviewer's favorite cause it has a grip on the wall he can hold on to while he takes a shit? No, and no. Do I want to know the parking lot has ample parking and seems reasonably safe? Or has mandatory valet? Or that the bathroom is disgusting and covered in piss and vomit? Yea, that kinda shit might be useful. Will I reject a review that doesn't have a peep about the layout and parking but covers other items in detail? Nope. Will I reject a review that includes those things and mentions nothing about strippers? Yup. Will I reject a review that covers both? Nope.

    I repeat, people want different shit out of reviews. Read the dozens of threads on the topic of what makes good reviews, or dozens of other asshats like you coming on here crying about it. If you don't care, don't fucking read it. If you want your voice heard on which reviews to approve, feel free to adjudicate the unpublished ones.
  • SteveO696969
    a year ago
    Dolfan you mad
  • stainglass
    a year ago
    No sir. This has been discussed. Read through the forum.

    Everyone has different needs, although I vibe with your thoughts. Since this is atleast a USA wide discussion board, what applies as friendly differs from person-to-person, and race-to-race. What applies as hot has different meanings. Go through the discussion forums and the comments... you will understand the breadth of what tuscl carries.
  • SteveO696969
    a year ago
    To be clear, I'm just giving my opinion. Just stating my preference.

    If somebody wants to give an exhaustive review about the length of the bar or the number of ice cubes in their Red Bull White Russian, that's cool.

    All I'm saying is, for me, what will determine whether or not I choose to visit a strip club is the quality of the dancers.

    But again, that's just me.

    Maybe somebody else wants to visit a gentleman's club because they read a review that the place has high ceilings or that they fold their cocktail napkins into origami flamingos. If so, you are hereby empowered to go and have a great time!

    p.s: Headed to Pompano for a few days and will report!
  • motorhead
    a year ago
    FYI to new members. Welcome to the board!

    I believe it’s gone now, but at one time Founder posted guidelines of “what’s makes a good review” and he suggested key points to be covered.

    Describing the parking situation, club layout, location of bar and restroom were one of the bullet points
  • ilbbaicnl
    a year ago
    As others have said in the past, paragraph breaks are everyone's friends. I put info about the dancers in separate paragraph(s), to make it easier to skip too. I often put a TL;DR at the top, almost always related to the dancers.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    a year ago
    Here's a pretty good refresher on club review writing from someone who has been here for a while.

    https://tuscl.net/discussion/82995

    If the review you're reading isn't helping to you, or you're physically incapable of "skimming" text, then read the next review.
  • Brahma2k
    a year ago
    As @Dolfan said, various information will be important to various readers.
    Go ahead and write extensively on every girl in the place. Great. Other information steeped in detail isn’t a requirement for a review but this information is important to some: is it easy to see/access from the road, ample parking free or charged or valet, cover charge, bathroom conditions, seating options to stage, description/layout of the LD or VIP area?

    As @Call.Me.Ishmael says, skim through that information you don’t need to get to dancer information
  • Muddy
    a year ago
    You can see reviews sometimes with all these details, what they did before, what they're doing after, what they were drinking, who they were with, the set up, the parking lot everything about that one girl he was with but forget the entire rest of the lineup.
  • shailynn
    a year ago
    Hey parking lot details matter to some people - like Muddy for example, because he’s probably sleeping in that parking lot after he LDKs. He wants to know the odds that he’ll get carjacked and I would too if I were in his shoes.
  • PAWG_Patrol
    a year ago
    I give the layout on my first review of a club then only give updates on changes after that. Would get tedious to explain the layout every review but I understand having it at least once.

    And I for one definitely appreciate a heads up about a bathroom troll 😂
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    a year ago
    I've never seen a review where the guy forgot to talk about the dancers...

    At this point, the thing that is more tedious than detailed club descriptions is guys whining about detailed club descriptions.
  • Heellover
    a year ago
    Is there a club in AZ that folds the napkins like origami flamingos? Asking for a friend.
  • twentyfive
    a year ago
    ^ don’t know about AZ, but years back Solid Gold when they were on Federal Highway in Fort Lauderdale, used to fold the take home foil boxes into swans and other objects when you ate food in their steakhouse.
  • motorhead
    a year ago
    As others have said - if parts of a review don’t interest anyone, then just skip it and move on.

    I belong to a lot of sports groups on social media and it’s kind of annoying when someone comments “this has been posted before” or “this is not <insert team> related.

    My response is “get a life”. No one is forcing you to read every comment on social comment. Go out and take a long walk instead of reading everything on Facebook.
  • RiskA
    a year ago
    I’m with OP, but this topic has really been beaten to death. Where reviews emphasize dancers, “too explicit” invariably follows. And that’s the way of this website. You can ignore it, comply, or quit posting reviews because the lack of shared intel makes it not worth the effort.
  • JamesSD
    a year ago
    If a review doesn't talk about the girls it's worthless. That said, if you don't care about parking you've never gone to a club with a sketchy lot or mandatory valet.

    I've also been to clubs where the layout was weird and it affected my stay.
  • Jascoi
    a year ago
    I wish I had read a review of Olympic garden's in Vegas as to the layout and that way maybe I would have found the men's room instead of the gay men's room upstairs.
  • Specialj
    a year ago
    I guess the only thing worth mentioning...you can go on most clubs websites or simply call them.....chances are you can get all the information mentioned without even stepping foot in the place. Sure, some of what you may visualize may be different from what is reality....my point being that the only information that can't be obtained without reading a review, hearing it from others or actually going yourself is incidentally what we all find to be the most important, such as dancer quality, mileage, VIP prices etc. One thing I can guarantee you is you won't get Any of that information via a simple phone call or visit to a website. Just food for thought
  • 5footguy
    a year ago
    My favorite clubs don't have web sites, and I sure as hell am not going to call one. This site is boots on the ground. When I started going to clubs, I used the info here to make me comfortable and part of that was the layout, parking, and generally what to expect. This info is valuable for people just getting started in the game. If you don't like all the detail, skip it.
  • BubbleYum
    a year ago
    How about no. I read the reviews to hear not only about potential coworkers, but I'd also like to know the layout to see if it would work for me and what I look for in a club. Just because you don't want to write a real club description doesn't mean we change how reviews have been traditionally written. Grow up. This isn't all about you, sport.
  • Dolfan
    a year ago
    And yeah, @OP, we saw your little temper tantrum of a review https://tuscl.net/review/404050. Are you sure you're old enough to be going to strip clubs?
  • SteveO696969
    a year ago
    Dolfan you mad
  • Hank Moody
    a year ago
    Safe to say someone is mad that not everyone shares his opinion.
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