A Refresher on How to Write a Good Review

founder
slip a dollar in her g-string for me
I got an email from a member who had a review rejected. He sent me the following:

"Not being able to see a full review without the VIP, I have no idea what it should contain. All I see is the short snippet. Can you send me a full review in the email so I get a sense of what they look like?"

and he sent me his rejected review:

"Visited while waiting for a flight. @ 5 pm. No one dancing on stage. Girls were talking to what looked like regulars. Took a while to get a drink. I think I was just a little early for the evening crowd to fill arrive. Got the opportunity to chat with Mercury. Bought a few drinks and had an enjoyable lapdance. Dances pricey. $90 per 15 mins. No discount for longer. I’d go back."

Rather than sending him a sample, I gave him some pointers to help with his own review. I thought it might be helpful to share this with others.


Visited while waiting for a flight. @ 5 pm. No one dancing on stage.
How big was the stage? How big was the club? How was it laid out? Any privacy in the main room?

Girls were talking to what looked like regulars.
How many girls? Why did you think they looked like regulars?

Took a while to get a drink.
How long is a while? What did you order? How much was it? Were you seated at the bar or a table? Why did it take a while? Were you ignored by the bartender or waitress?

I think I was just a little early for the evening crowd to fill arrive. Got the opportunity to chat with Mercury.
What did you chat about? What did she look like? What was she wearing?

Bought a few drinks and had an enjoyable lapdance.
How many drinks? How much were the drinks? More expensive for dancer drinks? What was enjoyable about the lapdance?

Dances pricey. $90 per 15 mins.
Where were the dances? In a private room? Out in the open? Was the dancer or management strict on the the time or contact?

No discount for longer. I’d go back.
Why specifically would you go back? From your review, I wouldn't know.

Hope this helps,
F

30 comments

Latest

  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    a year ago
    I agree with this.

    Also, is there some way to make this (in some form) available both to guys who are about to write a review, and to guys who have their reviews rejected?

    For the guys who get a review rejected, maybe in the rejection notice they get a link to a page where some version of this is available permanently.
  • shailynn
    a year ago
    Raview
  • misterorange
    a year ago
    No ragrets.
  • TheeOSU
    a year ago
    As founder said, he gave some pointers.
    Pointers are a useful suggestion or hint,
    For the power mad that relish their chance to down vote a review or steer it in the direction that they believe it should go, those pointers are suggestions, they are not meant to be verbatim so if a review is missing a pointer or two but still gives useful information, cut the reviewer a little slack.
    Not everyone has the same pov as you.
  • drewcareypnw
    a year ago
    Club Ad of the day.
  • drewcareypnw
    a year ago
    ^KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)
  • minnow
    a year ago
    WTG, founder, this should be a sticky. Gives a guideline to the already published guidelines.
  • Muddy
    a year ago
    Describe the layout, tiles, ceiling, fans, bathroom down to a T. Juice bar menu w/drink prices. Did your mixed drink take you to paradise? No names or descriptions of girls. How do YOU know what they identify as? Think less like pervert (ugh men, as if) and more like an interior designer and your review will be simply...fabulous.
  • uniquename
    a year ago
    Who
    What
    Where
    When
    Why
    How
  • motorhead
    a year ago
    The rules are pretty simple. Write to an audience who has never been to the club before and is seeking information. Don’t write for the credit
  • WiseToo
    a year ago
    But for clubs that have plenty of reviews, such as Desires in Providence, is it really necessary to repeat the same information, e.g. layout, drink prices, parking lot in every review?
  • Muddy
    a year ago
    I think these reviews need to be more dancer centric. Nobody is going for anything else other than how hot the girls are and what the mileage is. We've gotten too layout centric.
  • Mate27
    a year ago
    I disagree. I don’t think a review should include tmi. Trivial shit like “what did you chat about” has little relevance to the reader. Dancer quality, dancer responsiveness, volume of dancers, mileage, music volume and type, drink prices, and wait staff service are relevant. Include these things and you’re sure to get approved along with if you know the difference your experience will be day vs night.
  • Tetradon
    a year ago
    The essential component of any review.

    IT'S THE DANCERS, STUPID!

    Number, ethnicity, build, options, mileage.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    a year ago
    Muddy said "We've gotten too layout centric."

    Except that's not true.

    As far as I know, no one has rejected a review because the reviewer failed to provide architectural schematics. That's a whinge fabricated by reviewers who've had reviews rejected and don't feel like trying a bit harder. Layout can be covered by saying something like "Smaller club with two stages and one bar. It's sort of a dive and dark as fuck."

    Honestly... how hard is that?

    Also, in terms of layout I think it's very valuable to talk about the lap dance / VIP rooms (size, privacy, cleanliness (or lack of...), etc.

    Sure. Talk about the dancers more, including body types, ethnicity, hotness, age, etc. Talk about mileage (but don't connect dancers by name to extras...). And though I've decided to stop using dancer names in my reviews, I don't reject the reviews of others who do use names because the guidelines still allow it.

    No, you don't have to provide line-by-line dialogue of your conversation with a dancer, but it's helpful to know if there's a lot of "wanna dance" girls or high-pressure to buy dances, as opposed to dancers willing to sit and chat casually for a while.

    The example review that founder posted did none of that and it's not a helpful review. But I do think it was written in good faith because that guy reached out to founder. The good news is that guy *doesn't* need to add chapters of information or provide the manufacturer of the bar stools. He only needs to learn a little bit more about what other guys find useful in a review and fill it out a bit.

    It's not a heavy lift.
  • gammanu95
    a year ago
    Original review author be like " I didn't ask for a damn roundtable on writing reviews. Just gimme my damn free VIP"
  • Hank Moody
    a year ago
    It’s not one size fits all. Hit most of the basics and I’ll use my vote to approve. My own personal third rails are dancers’ names connected to extras and failure to use paragraphs. It takes like 6 seconds to put paragraphs in your review and makes it 10x easier to read.
  • shailynn
    a year ago
    The raview efforts would be much better if our chief editor desertscrub was still employed. No club ads would ever slip by.
  • gammanu95
    a year ago
    Where's a power wand 3000 when you need one?
  • Jascoi
    a year ago
    it's at the pawn shop.
  • RiskA
    a year ago
    I’m with Muddy: dancer names/descriptions, and what mileage is possible in the club (in your dreams) - without tying the two together - is the point, why regular mongers read reviews. Maybe the club layout/vibe is relevant to out of towners or first-timers, but they should be reading multiple reviews anyway, so they’ll find it.
  • RonJax2
    a year ago
    @founder, I've noticed a drop in review quality lately in the unpublished queue, I'm wondering if it's because since the upgrade, there is no longer instructions on writing a good review on /reviews/add page. Maybe consider adding a link to this post from the that page?

    You used to have a comprehensive guide to writing a review that was quite good. One thing that stuck out in the old instructions was to imagine you're talking to a businessman sitting alone in a hotel, wondering if a club is worth his time and money. What would you say to convince (or not) to go to this establishment?
  • shadowcat
    a year ago
    The guidelines are there but they are a secret. Clue....when you start to submit a review, click on "read our review guidelines" and they will magically appear.
  • Hank Moody
    a year ago
    Ron, I think what you are seeing is the result of no free reviews to read. It’s causing more new users to try and write reviews to get access. These are people who coasted along on three free reviews a day for years. The result is compounded by the fact that without any access, new reviewers don’t know the requirements of a quality review.

    I’m ok with this. The bad reviews are pretty routinely rejected. If someone really wants vip access, they’ll keep trying. They’ll either add to their deficient reviews or find the founder’s tips or come to the discussion board to get feedback. Any of those results is acceptable. If they give up because they can’t string 6-8 sentences together into a coherent review? That’s on them.
  • Muddy
    a year ago
    Here’s what I do:

    Step 1. Start drinking and write like an obnoxious asshole

    Step 2. Proceed to get yelled at by grumpy curmudgeons in the comments

    Works every time.
  • Jascoi
    a year ago
    how about bringing back ONE free review daily without VIP access?
    if that's considered too much free access, maybe ONE free review per WEEK?
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    a year ago
    ^ Or... pay $10.
  • founder
    a year ago
    ^ this
  • RonJax2
    a year ago
    @shadowcat, TY for pointing that out. I completely missed that there's a link there, now I feel like an idiot for resurrecting this thread
  • Dan3635
    8 months ago
    Is there a similar thread describing the guidelines for a good article?
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion