A Refresher on How to Write a Good Review
founder
slip a dollar in her g-string for me
I got an email from a member who had a review rejected. He sent me the following:
"Not being able to see a full review without the VIP, I have no idea what it should contain. All I see is the short snippet. Can you send me a full review in the email so I get a sense of what they look like?"
and he sent me his rejected review:
"Visited while waiting for a flight. @ 5 pm. No one dancing on stage. Girls were talking to what looked like regulars. Took a while to get a drink. I think I was just a little early for the evening crowd to fill arrive. Got the opportunity to chat with Mercury. Bought a few drinks and had an enjoyable lapdance. Dances pricey. $90 per 15 mins. No discount for longer. I’d go back."
Rather than sending him a sample, I gave him some pointers to help with his own review. I thought it might be helpful to share this with others.
Visited while waiting for a flight. @ 5 pm. No one dancing on stage.
How big was the stage? How big was the club? How was it laid out? Any privacy in the main room?
Girls were talking to what looked like regulars.
How many girls? Why did you think they looked like regulars?
Took a while to get a drink.
How long is a while? What did you order? How much was it? Were you seated at the bar or a table? Why did it take a while? Were you ignored by the bartender or waitress?
I think I was just a little early for the evening crowd to fill arrive. Got the opportunity to chat with Mercury.
What did you chat about? What did she look like? What was she wearing?
Bought a few drinks and had an enjoyable lapdance.
How many drinks? How much were the drinks? More expensive for dancer drinks? What was enjoyable about the lapdance?
Dances pricey. $90 per 15 mins.
Where were the dances? In a private room? Out in the open? Was the dancer or management strict on the the time or contact?
No discount for longer. I’d go back.
Why specifically would you go back? From your review, I wouldn't know.
Hope this helps,
F
"Not being able to see a full review without the VIP, I have no idea what it should contain. All I see is the short snippet. Can you send me a full review in the email so I get a sense of what they look like?"
and he sent me his rejected review:
"Visited while waiting for a flight. @ 5 pm. No one dancing on stage. Girls were talking to what looked like regulars. Took a while to get a drink. I think I was just a little early for the evening crowd to fill arrive. Got the opportunity to chat with Mercury. Bought a few drinks and had an enjoyable lapdance. Dances pricey. $90 per 15 mins. No discount for longer. I’d go back."
Rather than sending him a sample, I gave him some pointers to help with his own review. I thought it might be helpful to share this with others.
Visited while waiting for a flight. @ 5 pm. No one dancing on stage.
How big was the stage? How big was the club? How was it laid out? Any privacy in the main room?
Girls were talking to what looked like regulars.
How many girls? Why did you think they looked like regulars?
Took a while to get a drink.
How long is a while? What did you order? How much was it? Were you seated at the bar or a table? Why did it take a while? Were you ignored by the bartender or waitress?
I think I was just a little early for the evening crowd to fill arrive. Got the opportunity to chat with Mercury.
What did you chat about? What did she look like? What was she wearing?
Bought a few drinks and had an enjoyable lapdance.
How many drinks? How much were the drinks? More expensive for dancer drinks? What was enjoyable about the lapdance?
Dances pricey. $90 per 15 mins.
Where were the dances? In a private room? Out in the open? Was the dancer or management strict on the the time or contact?
No discount for longer. I’d go back.
Why specifically would you go back? From your review, I wouldn't know.
Hope this helps,
F
30 comments
Also, is there some way to make this (in some form) available both to guys who are about to write a review, and to guys who have their reviews rejected?
For the guys who get a review rejected, maybe in the rejection notice they get a link to a page where some version of this is available permanently.
Pointers are a useful suggestion or hint,
For the power mad that relish their chance to down vote a review or steer it in the direction that they believe it should go, those pointers are suggestions, they are not meant to be verbatim so if a review is missing a pointer or two but still gives useful information, cut the reviewer a little slack.
Not everyone has the same pov as you.
What
Where
When
Why
How
IT'S THE DANCERS, STUPID!
Number, ethnicity, build, options, mileage.
Except that's not true.
As far as I know, no one has rejected a review because the reviewer failed to provide architectural schematics. That's a whinge fabricated by reviewers who've had reviews rejected and don't feel like trying a bit harder. Layout can be covered by saying something like "Smaller club with two stages and one bar. It's sort of a dive and dark as fuck."
Honestly... how hard is that?
Also, in terms of layout I think it's very valuable to talk about the lap dance / VIP rooms (size, privacy, cleanliness (or lack of...), etc.
Sure. Talk about the dancers more, including body types, ethnicity, hotness, age, etc. Talk about mileage (but don't connect dancers by name to extras...). And though I've decided to stop using dancer names in my reviews, I don't reject the reviews of others who do use names because the guidelines still allow it.
No, you don't have to provide line-by-line dialogue of your conversation with a dancer, but it's helpful to know if there's a lot of "wanna dance" girls or high-pressure to buy dances, as opposed to dancers willing to sit and chat casually for a while.
The example review that founder posted did none of that and it's not a helpful review. But I do think it was written in good faith because that guy reached out to founder. The good news is that guy *doesn't* need to add chapters of information or provide the manufacturer of the bar stools. He only needs to learn a little bit more about what other guys find useful in a review and fill it out a bit.
It's not a heavy lift.
You used to have a comprehensive guide to writing a review that was quite good. One thing that stuck out in the old instructions was to imagine you're talking to a businessman sitting alone in a hotel, wondering if a club is worth his time and money. What would you say to convince (or not) to go to this establishment?
I’m ok with this. The bad reviews are pretty routinely rejected. If someone really wants vip access, they’ll keep trying. They’ll either add to their deficient reviews or find the founder’s tips or come to the discussion board to get feedback. Any of those results is acceptable. If they give up because they can’t string 6-8 sentences together into a coherent review? That’s on them.
Step 1. Start drinking and write like an obnoxious asshole
Step 2. Proceed to get yelled at by grumpy curmudgeons in the comments
Works every time.
if that's considered too much free access, maybe ONE free review per WEEK?