During a breather between a couple lap dances the other night, from a nice looking woman probably around 30ish, she started talking about her two teenaged children. This ruined it for me after that I just wasn't quite as interested in having her grind all over me.
Mostly just girls who can't, or won't, do a lap dance. Some girls just don't have the skills while others just sit there without any real interaction taking place.
I like it very much to be about the fantasy. Real life can creep back into the conversation once the lap-dancing is done. If the girl starts to talk about bullshit I do not wish to hear I end the dance right there and find someone else.
Nothing turns me off quicker than a girl reaking of BO. I ran into a hot dancer at a club after waiting patiently for her and as soon as her "aura" drifted my way, I couldn't get away fast enough. Ruined the whole night for me. I left shortly afterwards.
Sometimes the conversation can be a mood kiler. I don't mind talking between dances about kids, hobbies, unusual sexual prcolivities. But for me the worst turnoff is getting an air dance in a club where I know mileage is available. And having the girl thinking her dance was great is bewildering.
About 3 years ago, in my favorite club, I was watching a beautiful young black dancer on stage. I would rate her a 9+. As soon as she came off stage they announced a 2 for 1 lap dance and she came right to me and asked if I was up for it. Of course I was. The dance started and she was like a greased pig. Sweating so badly that we just kept slipping and sliding. My pants were soaked. Because she was so beautiful and doing the right moves, I stuck it out. Normally I would have asked for more but instead I told her the truth. "You need to go towel down and cool off after getting off stage". She did not smell bad and apologized. I saw her again a month later and she apologized again and we did some sweet lap dances. Never have seen her again. Damn!
Sweaty, smelling bad, asking or talking about your mother, or her kids, I agree can all be a mood killer when you're getting ready to get a lap dance from her and if you're a guy who thinks like me, you want to think sexy thoughts to get in the mood rather than something else. She can talk or ask about that stuff later if she wants to talk in my opinion. Asking about someone's mother or relatives can be a real quick mood killer as well if one of your relatives was recently in the hospital but you did not want to talk about that during your strip club visit. I often like to enjoy my time in strip clubs and don't want to be reminded about reality unless of course I'm the one who brought it up.
I don't even like to tip a dancer on stage if I see she is all sweaty if I think there is a chance she is going to get me all wet.
Ok this is gross but a girl was tellin me last nite that when she was pregnant and still dancing she'd have to say" dont stimulate my clit it can cause preterm labor"
Hows that for a mood killer?
Agree with many of those listed (talking about their kids, bills, crazy boyfriends... razor stubble around--and below--the bikini line, upselling, drink hustling, etc).
One that hasn't been mentioned is one I hate. When I get an LD and the girl is just going through the motions. When she's staring off into space, rotating between the same 3 positions, or just getting on and grinding the same spot with no change for the entire song or more (chaffing!), and when girls seem to be bouncing off the walls and just climbing all over you, bouncing up and down going way to fast with everything... even during a slow song. I know she's probably doing it unconsciously because she wants to get it over asap and get her $. I hate that. Go slow, take your time, don't bounce, the song is the same length no matter what happens... but if you do it this way, I'll be paying you for more songs, not thinking about whether someones taken my seat at the bar.
You're heading for the LD room and the girl asks for a tip in advance saying, "The bigger the tip, the better the dance." Goodby.
Now I can't help but wonder how many "girls" with Adams Apples work at Wondergirl's club. I might not be too surprised by that in New Orleans or Key West, but New Jersey? And here I was planning to visit.
While one patron was trying to entice me to have a dance, she bent over in front of me and i noticed a string dangling out... waving back and forth like a pendulum. That pretty much killed the mood.
Yeah, that string thing will ruin it every time. The smart dancers know to tuck it inside the kitty. I once was doing a two for one lap dance with one of my favs. I was about to let my hand go under the thong. Witch I had done many times before without objection. Then she says "I don't care but you are going to find a string down there". Oh shit and I still had another song coming.
mr. g., I have seen "advance tipping" in Vegas at Deja Vu. As far as turnoffs, do NOT under any circumstances sing, this is not American Idol, and do not chew gum.
Hows this cause I had to do it at work.
Big dude goes in the LD area with me but wont sit down just pushes against me up against the wall. Im like have a seat he ignores me and Ilook down and see he is wearin the work out shorts with the pocket cut out (ala Shadowcat. But of course lacked shadowcats finesse) Anyway there he is pokin out im pinned against the wall and hes like grab it. Now I had one of 2 choices push the panic button or grab it.And now Im kinda pissed. So I grab it give it a good twist hey yelps and I say now listen have a seat and Ill give you a dance but you pull that shit again and Ill twist it like a ballon animal. He bought 4 dances and bought me a bottle of wine. The damn dominatrix in me cant stay quiet.
But in my head that would be a turn offf what do you guys think?
1. Dancer scolds you for not buying her a drink, or for not tipping her, or for any other reason.
2. Dancer starts asking serious questions about your background, for which you have to make up mindless shit because that's none of her damn business and you don't give a damn about discussing your or her life story, you're there to get laps with hot chicks and have some fun.
3. Air dance.
4. A dancer who starts psycho-analyzing you. I actually had that before. Black chick, asks me my sign (people still do that???), starts analyzing me, and decides "oh, you're one of THEM" and storms off. Geezus, are you freakin' kidding me?
5. A chick who starts out the lap telling you she just started working there, and can't believe that some of the dancers there actually have sexual contact with the customers. EEEWWWWWW !!!!!!!!
6. A chick who starts discussing your wedding ring, and gives you this holier than thou "oh, you're married..." BS.
7. Dishonest dancer.
8. Black chick with a huge butt who thinks that what guys really want in a lap dance is for her to back it up to you, and pile-drive your crotch into submission until it gets welts.
9. Dancer who has no clue how to give a decent HJ, and dry-rubs your dick until it's raw and painful.
10. Clueless lap dancer who does weird shit that she thinks is sexy but is in fact either just stupid or downright painful, but certainly not sexy, just annoying. Like pinching/tweaking your nipples (BTW ladies, only chicks like nipple play).
2) dancers that don’t like being touched – I don’t mean the kitty – but boobs and such – makes for a boring LD that I want to be over sooner than later
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Another funny one that I just thought of (but that's never happened to me) is a dancer saying, "Damn, I just can't seem to get rid of this itch!"
I don't even like to tip a dancer on stage if I see she is all sweaty if I think there is a chance she is going to get me all wet.
Hows that for a mood killer?
One that hasn't been mentioned is one I hate. When I get an LD and the girl is just going through the motions. When she's staring off into space, rotating between the same 3 positions, or just getting on and grinding the same spot with no change for the entire song or more (chaffing!), and when girls seem to be bouncing off the walls and just climbing all over you, bouncing up and down going way to fast with everything... even during a slow song. I know she's probably doing it unconsciously because she wants to get it over asap and get her $. I hate that. Go slow, take your time, don't bounce, the song is the same length no matter what happens... but if you do it this way, I'll be paying you for more songs, not thinking about whether someones taken my seat at the bar.
Now I can't help but wonder how many "girls" with Adams Apples work at Wondergirl's club. I might not be too surprised by that in New Orleans or Key West, but New Jersey? And here I was planning to visit.
Big dude goes in the LD area with me but wont sit down just pushes against me up against the wall. Im like have a seat he ignores me and Ilook down and see he is wearin the work out shorts with the pocket cut out (ala Shadowcat. But of course lacked shadowcats finesse) Anyway there he is pokin out im pinned against the wall and hes like grab it. Now I had one of 2 choices push the panic button or grab it.And now Im kinda pissed. So I grab it give it a good twist hey yelps and I say now listen have a seat and Ill give you a dance but you pull that shit again and Ill twist it like a ballon animal. He bought 4 dances and bought me a bottle of wine. The damn dominatrix in me cant stay quiet.
But in my head that would be a turn offf what do you guys think?
Yup. Young guys complaining in a club! LOL
1. Dancer scolds you for not buying her a drink, or for not tipping her, or for any other reason.
2. Dancer starts asking serious questions about your background, for which you have to make up mindless shit because that's none of her damn business and you don't give a damn about discussing your or her life story, you're there to get laps with hot chicks and have some fun.
3. Air dance.
4. A dancer who starts psycho-analyzing you. I actually had that before. Black chick, asks me my sign (people still do that???), starts analyzing me, and decides "oh, you're one of THEM" and storms off. Geezus, are you freakin' kidding me?
5. A chick who starts out the lap telling you she just started working there, and can't believe that some of the dancers there actually have sexual contact with the customers. EEEWWWWWW !!!!!!!!
6. A chick who starts discussing your wedding ring, and gives you this holier than thou "oh, you're married..." BS.
7. Dishonest dancer.
8. Black chick with a huge butt who thinks that what guys really want in a lap dance is for her to back it up to you, and pile-drive your crotch into submission until it gets welts.
9. Dancer who has no clue how to give a decent HJ, and dry-rubs your dick until it's raw and painful.
10. Clueless lap dancer who does weird shit that she thinks is sexy but is in fact either just stupid or downright painful, but certainly not sexy, just annoying. Like pinching/tweaking your nipples (BTW ladies, only chicks like nipple play).
1) ROBs
2) dancers that don’t like being touched – I don’t mean the kitty – but boobs and such – makes for a boring LD that I want to be over sooner than later