Power Rank the States by Strip Club Experience

It's interesting how far Michigan/Detroit and Arizona seem to have fallen.

I haven't experienced enough different states to really comment, but I feel like based on what I've read here your 4 and 5 picks will get more debate than your top 3. Oregon in particular seems divisive. Some people like the variety of clubs in Portland, others feel it's poor value.

1. Michigan
2. Florida

I don't get to Texas or Arizona enough to comment other than what I've read.

Not sure how Louisiana makes your list. But to each their own opinions

The order depends on the criteria. Availability of extras ? Upscale show clubs ?
Number of clubs versus quality of clubs ? Price of dances ?

I guess there’s no perfect criteria but just trying to go with overall experience which is obviously a mix of all of the above.

I have not been to Michigan so maybe that belongs in a Top 5!

Based on my experience I would rank as follows:

1. California (but only because of it's proximity to TJ)
2. Florida
3. Michigan
4. Texas
5. Georgia

I've never been to clubs in Louisiana or Oregon. Are they any good? Which clubs should I read reviews on to learn more?

Personally, I rank clubs on mileage, girls hotness, decor, and then extras. I'd rather get mileage from an 8 then a mechanical extra from a 10 (it's a near toss up, but my primary goal is to stay away from mechanics). That being said (based on the last 3 years or so: (also I know I'm ranking areas, but the area leads the state)


S Tier
1) Pompano Beach (the rest of Florida seems to be on some lower tier)
2) Detroit/Inkster/Suburbs/Airport (Does Ann Arbor compare? Flint? Kalamzoo?)
3) Phoenix, but I hear Tuscon is comparable
4) Texas (Dallas slightly over Houston, haven't been to San Antonio for a while, but when I was last there mileage was great) (Barely squeezes in)

A Tier
5) Rhode Island (I plan on visiting, so this is what I've read, same for the rest of this tier)
6) Georgia (really ATL)
7) Philly
8) NJ
9) Ontario, CA (extras abound, hot girls, US discount, but terribly all mechanics)
10) Washington
11) Oregon (reports for these last two seem conflicting and expensive)

B Tier
10) San Diego (super hot girls, extras are near non-existent and mileage is slightly above average)
11) Indiana (not as hot, mileage is good, extras take work)
12) Illinois (City of Chicago drives this listing way down, too many clubs where the LDAs are well-lit circle jerks, the clubs with proper LDAs have average girls, hard to find extras, and varying mileage)

C Tier
13) California (girls are often not as hot a civilians, high prices, little value, bunch of mechanics)
14) Vegas (maybe Reno has something better?) (except for Chicas Bonitas no value, high premium, mileage approaching Chicago)
15) Wisconsin (guaranteed half your dance is in the air, no/hard to find extras, no mileage, girls are weak)

1) Baja California (where the happiest place on earth is located) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3SzOUvB1WS…
2) (Southern) California (were Hollywood and the Porn Capital of the World provide a large supply of quality entertainers)
3) New York

Oh yeah, NY, I've been there once, clearly C Tier

^ what do you mean by S tier ?
I think there are a few good options in Fort Lauderdale, West Palm Beach and Miami, saying I do agree that Pompano is probably the best of the best, but South East Florida as a whole is a pretty good entry as far as overall strip club quality, there’s at least a dozen clubs where pretty much anything you want is available easily.

^When are you Providence bound - we have recommendations lol.

I assumed S meant better than an A.

I'm in Ontario now and we (the client and my company) can't seem to figure out a way forward, also, we're not sure our client in Providence is ready.

Anyway, the tier system is from video games I've been catching up on lately, it's a Japanese ranking I believe S is the best and viewed as over-powered, C is worst than average (for context)

The S is thought to mean Superb or Superior.

It depends what your looking for I guess, I don't know the order

California, Florida, Michigan, New Jersey, Ontario, Texas would be the big ones.

Cities (really the metros) it's

1. LA
2. Detroit
3. Miami
4. Toronto

LA has good strip clubs?! Never hear about them

There are several cities in Asia with nice hotels that have a floor of whores. Walk out of your 4 star room and take an elevator to meet 50 hot women who charge $50 for full service. The island of Batam, for example.

We have nothing to compare in the US. It makes the “ which state is better” seem
Meaningless.

I mean it’s much cheaper and more convenient to travel within the United States

I am happy to go to strip clubs. Zero interest in brothels. Not the same thing. Flying half way around the world to save $300 makes no sense.

Agreed - strip clubs still give you the chase (or at least the illusion of it)

It’s been years since I’ve been to Dallas Clubs, but they were once the top of the heap for being true, upscale Gentlemen’s Club. If the criteria was the kind of club you imagine a millionaire would go to, those are the winners. That was back in the day when you could take a business client, run it through an expense account, get a tax break, and discuss the visit back at the office.

Agree with Muddy’s list of MI, NJ, FL, TX.

Not sure how Louisiana ended up on OP’s list. I was just in New Orleans last week and hit three clubs - decent but not great.

I haven’t clubbed enough in CA to add though I suspect COI pulls the whole state up since San Diego is mediocre and the Bay Area is just so-so too.

Yeah in CA you need to choose your city wisely.

Sacramento & Bakersfield & Ventura/Oxnard keep a tight lid on the extras; nude clubs in those towns are like topless bars but no alcohol. Pointless. I stopped going to SF in about 1995, just too much scummy street folk counterculture.

San Diego is a joke, IMO; hot girls, but they play the long con and work “emotional connection” to fleece you and rarely deliver the goods (& never ITC). They all say “if you want that, go to TJ”. Geisha bars more than strip clubs.

Greater LA/OC has its highlights, but spread out and can be hit & miss. The Upland club (not actually Ontario, but close) is great, but yes can seem mechanical since it’s so matter of fact, straight to business. Ecstasy in OC is good, but can get expensive & you are competing with real whales. COI and OC and the SF Valley have several solid high mileage, mid-range price clubs. West side and DT L.A. is expensive.

Unfortunately, most SoCal clubs end up being kind of a “fast food” experience: anonymous, impersonal, get what you need fast & for a decent price, but not really that pleasant of an experience. It’s somewhat routine & all about the extras available, so non-explicit reviews aren’t real helpful.

Look at what states have the most clubs that make our top 40 list...I feel that's a fairly good indicator

Baltimore has a few nice clubs on the block. But it unsafe

in my experience, my best experiences have been in TJ first and foremost and value-wise.
second would be Los Angeles metro area.
third (and only because of my stupid addiction to this area) would be Las Vegas. it was damned expensive.

fourth would be a tie between Phoenix Tampa and Miami. but my experience in these places were very limited.

so in my experience... 1. Baja.
2. CA. 3. NV. 4.FL. 5.AZ.

if I were to do it again with what I know now, I would avoid Nevada. (Even though I only live 100 mi from the LVstrip.)