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The worst thing to say to a stripper??!!

Avatar for Specialj
SpecialjBorn in NYC, conceived at Woodstock.

I’ll go first. “I just won the lottery…I have so much money I don’t know what to do with it…can you give me any advice?!”

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Avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon

I'm almost certain I can't give you herpes.

Avatar for etsutwigg222
etsutwigg222

I got all this inheritance money but I still can't find a woman that likes me for me.

Avatar for skibum609
skibum609

Sometimes, when I get very excited, I lose control of my bowels......

Avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat

When a stripper told me that she was pregnant I actually asked her "Do you know who the father is?" She was quick to reply "My husband".

Avatar for shailynn
shailynn

Here’s the keys to my new car.

Avatar for Mate27
Mate27

I’m emotionally available…..

Avatar for whodey
whodey

It's my first time in a strip club so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do or how much to tip.

Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

You look just like your mother did at your age

Avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan

or will you marry me

Avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan

My PIN# is...

hold my wallet while I go to the bathroom

Avatar for Electronman
Electronman

Any idea what this rash is on my cock?

Avatar for nicespice
nicespice

“You look like my daughter”

“There is no way you’re older than 15/16/17/18. Drink that (alcoholic beverage)”

“Your car is (insert whatever detail that indicates he was watching you earlier)”

Avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman

“Is that you or me that stinks so bad?”

Also, any unsolicited advice probably ranks near the top of things not to say.

Avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael

Things I've heard from nearby at the bar...

"It's been a while. Are you fatter?"
(I actually had to step outside zone of collateral damage for that one.)

Guy: "Did you get a breast reduction?"
Dancer: "Yes."
Guy: "Shit, that's too bad. They don't look as good."
(The dancer walked immediately to the dressing room without saying a word.)

Some guys like strip clubs, while others depend on strip clubs.

Avatar for mark94
mark94

I overheard a long conversation where an Uber driver/PL described his day, fare by fare, and complained about his job. The dancer feigned interest. It was painful.

Avatar for dha
dha

Come back after I've had a few drinks.

Avatar for Specialj
Specialj

I don’t get paid until tomorrow…can I write you an IOU on my napkin?

Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

It’s my birthday – can I get a free-dance?
[LOL I actually read this somewhere a few years back about some broke mofo in a club; can’t recall if I read it on TUSCL or StripperWeb]

Avatar for bang69
bang69

I herd a person at a table next to me say . I just shit my self.

Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion

^
We all believe you bang-ape. The person at the table next to you was Skifredo. Just read what he said above and believe him. ROAR!!!

Avatar for datinman
datinman

The ATM just declined my card.

Avatar for boomer79
boomer79

A dancer told me the other day that she looked like his dream for the mother of his babies and that if she wasn’t on birth control he’d pay 50 dollars to put his babies inside of her. Needless to say she was mega creeped after she realized he was serious.

Avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong

@twentyfive:"You look just like your mother did at your age"

There are two locals that I know of (probably more, but...) that are daughters of former dancers. For one of them, it's a really good damned thing she doesn't look like her mother. Even when she was dancing, she wasn't above a 5. Daughter apparently takes after dad, because I don't see a resemblance. When mom told me that she was her daughter, I had to resist saying exactly that.

The other one is a dead ringer for her mom at that age, and she knows it, and is thankful, because mom is an absolute smoke show. The first time I saw her, she was on stage, and I had to stop and stare for a minute. After she came off stage, she came over and said "you knew my mom, didn't you?" I had to laugh and say yeah.

Avatar for dha
dha

Do you smell something funky like fish or provolone?

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