Seeking and Strip Clubs: Two Worlds Collided

21 comments

• mickey48066

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  a year ago

  Don't see why it would matter. You're in a transactional relationship. She gets her monthly fee or ppv, you don't owe her anything else. You don't actually believe you are her "one and only"? She's banging other dudes so why wouldn't you bang the other broads in the club, even if she's there? Why would you let some gold digger on SA dictate your activity in the club?
• wallanon

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  a year ago

  "Assuming our upcoming date goes well, things could get awkward for me at this club. I very much want to get her naked under the sheets, but the cost, beyond money, might be to limit my ability to play with the dancers there." What's the downside? Is it that you'd have someone inside a club you frequent who knows you shop on SA? Or is it that you share more information about yourself with one set of girls than another? "I'd be very interested to hear any thoughts on this." I've been lucky the past few years that the girl I see the most stopped dancing, but even as an active dancer she was the rare girl who really didn't seem to care what I did with anyone else so long as I didn't talk about what we've got going on. Or didn't let it get in the way of what we've been doing. But besides her, every other dancer including my ATF is very aware and interested in who else is in the mix. It's a money thing but also a health thing. You've been saying your arrangements don't last that long anyway, so maybe it's not a big deal unless you're trying to keep your stories straight. But in that case you can just treat the SA girl like a dancer and keep the details lighter, unless it's already too late for that. This is one reason why I like to keep my sexy time options in a single channel. If I treat them all the same then I'm not needing to sort out who knows what. It's enough to manage that the girls keep club hopping more post-COVID and more of them know who their competition is.
• ATACdawg

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  a year ago

  I really don't see why this girl should be different than any other girl at this club, except that if she gets jealous she'll have access to spit or piss in your whiskey before it's delivered...... or that she might spill a dark drink on a strategic part of your best white suit..... or are you just that smitten by her?😜😂
• Dolfan

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  a year ago

  Like others, I think it seems similar to any other scenario where you're seeing multiple girls at the same club. It can be a little tricky sometimes, but it really depends on the nature of what you're doing and the "relationship." The waitress vs stripper aspect does complicate it a bit more, because waitresses tend to have a wider sphere of friendship with the girls. They may be considered more trustworthy by the dancers too. So, if things go south, her ability to tarnish your reputation might be greater than an another stripper. They also tend to stick around the club longer, vs the rapid turnover of strippers, so you could be paying the price longer. Still though, I'd say it comes down to what she wants. If she's looking for a traditional SB/SD type thing with regularity and some level of bonding, you're right, seeing her might damage your ability to see others at the club. If she's more looking to supplement her income, working a few times a month, and that's it, then I'd guess your less likely to have an issue. In either case, when it ends, they'll be some period of awkwardness and concern that she's poisoning the well to the girls. If she tends to work a shift you don't patronize though, it feels like the risk is somewhat mitigated. I mean, the odds of her posting your picture in the dressing room like you're passing bad checks at the corner store is pretty slim. Unless you're both there at the same time, its unlikely to make any difference whatsoever. I don't do the SA thing, but I have had girls I've had history with pop up at a club in a number of roles, be it dancer, waitress or bartender. For the most part, it's been a non-issue. One dancer who evidently thought our "relationship" wasn't transactional, moved from a non-extras club to an extras club and was shocked and appalled to find out that I also periodically visited the extras club and "did stuff" with other dancers. She proceeded to tell all the girls there about how I'd pay her to come to my house and fuck and I was such a piece of shit and whatnot. It really didn't do much, I think it had the opposite of her intended effect. It seemed like every other girl in there was asking me about OTC for months. I suppose if she decided to lie and accuse me of not paying as agreed, or worse, I could have had an issue. But as it was, she told the truth, thinking it made me sound like a monster but all it really ended up doing was make me sound like a good customer. In the other cases, it was less impactful. On girl shot me dirty looks when she saw me talking to or tipping other girls, a few tried to re-kindle our arrangements, a couple just sorta avoided me.
• twentyfive

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  a year ago

  I would guess this is more of a problem in smaller markets, I actually dated a club waitress a number of years back, we have enough good club options here it’s really not a big deal if the drama gets too intense to skip a club for a month or two.
• rickdugan

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  a year ago

  @Wall: Fortunately I have no differing stories for me to keep straight. Sure I may share a little more about a few things with SA girls than I do with strippers, but that's more a function of spending so much time with my SA dates with nothing to focus on but each other. It's also a two-way street as these girls tend to share a lot more about themselves than a stripper typically would, at least in the early days. For example, she's already told me where she works during the day as well as things about her kids. She chose to waitress instead of dance, even though she's certainly hot enough to, because she doesn't think of herself as a SW. She has a vanilla day job and waitresses at night to supplement (as many of them do). She's coming at this from the viewpoint of an SA girl, not a stripper. Again the mad genius of SA is giving them a way to convince themselves and others that they aren't doing exactly what they're doing, which is selling sex for money. Net-net if I'm seeing her regularly as a SD and she sees me playing around with strippers, it's hard to predict how she's going to react, especially if she learns of any stripper OTC activities. Maybe she'll be fine and maybe not, but IDK.
• docsavage

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  a year ago

  Concerning the more general subject of female jealousy and strip clubs, I've seen a lot of this over the years. Women generally want two things from males, a sexually attractive male to have sex with and impregnate them and a male economic provider to help with providing financial support for them and their children. Strippers don't sexually desire most customers but do desire their money and this creates much female jealousy in strip clubs. I've had lots of regulars. Strippers get angry if they think another girl is trying to steal their regulars. The unpopular girls also get angry at the popular ones. There is some bullying going on in strip clubs, but I think the management helps to keep it under control. There have been four or five times I decided I needed to drop a regular. They didn't say anything but gave me unfriendly glares after that. One even made a face and stuck out her tongue at me when she saw me. I hadn't had a girl do that since elementary school and broke out laughing when she did that.
• wallanon

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  a year ago

  "Net-net if I'm seeing her regularly as a SD and she sees me playing around with strippers, it's hard to predict how she's going to react, especially if she learns of any stripper OTC activities." Is she new? If she's not new, there's a decent chance she's already assuming the worst because you're a customer. All of us who've been doing this a while know it's stupid that strippers/SWs look down on customers when do many are perfectly content to shack up with losers. But many people need to feel superior to someone especially when they're common. Customers give that outlet and station (in the club at least) to people who people who can feel marginalized OTC. "Maybe she'll be fine and maybe not, but IDK." If that's the issue here's my take. Don't make a pre-emptive decision because you don't know how things are going to go. If she's your instant fav with a glory box that's headed for the hall of fame, then if she has an issue you can win points by dropping other girls. She could also be a lousy lay and then you went and made concessions for no reason. Not that'd I'd have any recent experience with this lol.
• 3131

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  a year ago

  There are always fresh faces coming in to clubs and SA. Sure, there are a few veterans in both. I wouldn't worry about it. Worst case scenario.... you have other clubs you can frequent?
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  a year ago

  Tough call... because a fair number of SBs want their SD to be exclusive to them. Sometimes because they do see it as a form of dating with blurred lines, but also because they don't want you're money going in different directions. It could raise temperatures if you're in the club trying to get dancers for OTC and she's watching you while she works. It's also a matter of time before a dancer gossips to the waitress about what you wanted from the dancer. Perhaps just tell the waitress up front about boundaries if she wants your money. Or, go find another SB who isn't employed in a strip club you visit as a customer. There's that old saying about not shitting where you eat...
• rickmacrodong

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  a year ago

  Unfortunately some clubs im convinced the uglier and/or regular dancers are making efforts to keep out or get rid of hotter and/or newer dancers. Wally w.r.t. shacking up with losers it seems like some of those losers are able to look or act enough like some famous celebrities or athlete’s rappers etc and thats all it takes to shack up with them! Ive seen some guys who look absolutely ugly and strange but because their appearance matches the ugly and strange appearance of a famous trendy person, that was all it took for them
• rickmacrodong

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  a year ago

  Rick technically and legally they aren’t selling sex for money, youre just paying for their time and companionship. The sex is something they gave you for free, if it happened. Just like if you pay for a lapdance, you paid for a dance, anything beyond a dance was performed free of charge.
• Subraman

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  a year ago

  Rick is reading this right. Many SBs do not even look at themselves as sexworkers, whether we here agree with them or not. Very few SBs want an SD who is also OTCing strippers at the club she works at 🤣🤣 I would counsel having this conversation with her pretty quickly. Maybe she does after all have a more sexworker-y attitude and is fine with it. But it's more likely that your OTCing days at that club are over as a condition of being in an SR with her. Hell, she might even have expectations that she's fine with you still SCing, but doesn't want to see her SD at her club spending $ on strippers. Hash it out, see what her expectations are, go from there. And keep in mind she's a young woman who probably can't really predict how she'll feel; even if she says it's all fine, expect she might change her mind once she sees you in the club
• Subraman

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  a year ago

  Okay to pile on a little more: even strippers who have SDs -- that is stripper/SBs who are very open and clear that they are sexworkers -- typically don't want to share their SD. I've known strippers who have SDs through the years, having an SD is a point of pride and bragging that raises their status among the other girls. They grab about having SDs. So while I haven't been in this position myself, I don't even think coming into the club and spending on other strippers and taking them OTC would fly with a stripper, much less a waitress.
• Subraman

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  a year ago

  brag*
• rickdugan

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  a year ago

  IME and IMHO one of the keys to getting into a girl's pants, at least more than once, is understanding what her motivations and needs are. With a civilian girl it can be anywhere on the map, mixing in a combination of physical attraction and whatever other emotional need she is trying to meet (not feeling lonely, overcoming rejection, wanting to feel wanted/valued, etc., etc.). Figuring it out is simply a function of listening and observing. And of course sometimes it's a girl who just wants to get laid, though IME it often ends up being more than that. For an OTC stripper, the analysis is a lot clearer. Money is a key driver. But even then the extent to which other needs have to be met depends on whether she is fucking and sucking routinely and has accepted whatever label that may bring, in which case she doesn't generally need much of anything else, or if it's something she does more opportunistically. At the extreme end of the non-pro OTC strippers, IME you'll find a type of girl who definitely has minimum standards as to who she'll see OTC and who needs certain other things from the guy, like affirmation that she is not [insert label here] and that he finds her to be truly special. As I have been finding out very quickly over these past few months, non-pro SBs are like extreme versions of non-pro OTC strippers, but often with a few additional civilian needs mixed in. They tend to have slightly higher physical standards than the non-pro OTC strippers and they often need even more affirmation and to feel more special. But beyond that, many of them need someone who listens to them and makes them feel validated as both good people and women. Basically it's like some blending of extreme non-pro OTC strippers with elements of civilian dating. Now obviously these are blanket generalizations, but on the whole this is what I've been finding in the SB marketplace. I say this only to provide a bit more perspective for the guys here who haven't waded much in the SB marketplace. Once you learn to screen out the pros, scammers, fake accounts, etc., what you find are civilian girls, many of whom work normal days jobs and generally live normal lives, who are doing this to meet certain financial needs, but definitely don't view themselves as SWs and expect to be treated as well as any civilian date.
• funonthaside

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  a year ago

  Typical story of a girl wanting a guy (and his money) all to herself, and making guys out as being monsters for being customers of what they are selling. More and more, I am finding that the girls grow far more attached to us (our money) than we grow attached to them. Meanwhile, these girls have multiple guys on the line. Quite hypocritical. It's become clear to me that this activity is best enjoyed without any sense of obligation or commitment to any one girl (or even a small group).
• JamesSD

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  a year ago

  I see no reason you can't be upfront with her about your occasional clubbing.
• rickmacrodong

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  a year ago

  If you look like George clooney in your 50s and 60s and are also a millionaire, you may not even need to p4p. It’s possible guys like Rick or Gmd are swimming in it because of those attributes.
• rickdugan

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  a year ago

  ===> "If you look like George clooney in your 50s and 60s and are also a millionaire, you may not even need to p4p. It’s possible guys like Rick or Gmd are swimming in it because of those attributes." Ah, sure Money. Now I can't speak for GMD, but you just described me to a tee. How did you know? 😁 All kidding aside, I doubt that I'll ever civilian date again. Sure I might save a few bucks in the short run, but it's too expensive in every other way that matters. 😆 But IME there are definitely some social elements of civilian dating that come into play with SA girls and even some OTC strippers. If you're at that point in the process where they're seriously considering it then you know that they want to say yes, obviously because they want the cash infusion. For the OTC stripper that's generally when you're discussing the details of the meetup and for the SA girl it's of course the M&G. From there IMO and IME it's just about getting her comfortable enough with you as a person that she's not worried about getting stalked, hurt, scammed, etc. Though apparently, as reported by many "friends" over the years, there is a fair % of guys swimming in these waters who just can't seem to get out of their own way.
• Hank Moody

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  a year ago

  I think a preemptive conversation is a colossally bad idea. As Wall was saying, would you really want to blow it up before anything happens without knowing whether you’d even want to see this girl again? If it comes out, this is definitely an ask for forgiveness, not permission, scenario. As always, don’t be a Dick about it.