dancers sitting at your table uninvited

Just tell them you are not interested in them and you are waiting for someone.

If I am not interested, I'll just respond with " thanks. Just settling in" to " how are you tonight" question.

But personally I like when a girl comes and chats with me before upselling. I hate those 'wanna dance' conversation starters. Like - 'Yeah- that's why I am here' but I need to know if you are fun to be with first.

@docsavage, no, you are not being unfair to them.

In fact, you're being more than fair--you're respecting their time by not wasting it.

I sometimes use the "I'm waiting for someone" excuse. If I tell them that I'm waiting for someone, though, they then ask who I'm waiting for. Unless I actually am waiting for someone, which usually isn't the case, I then have to make up an imaginary stripper that I'm there looking for. They then say she isn't there and ask if they will do as a replacement.

Any sales person who does *not* approach customers is a low/no earner, regardless of industry.

As for how to make them go away, a simple "I'm not buying anything right now, I'll let you know if I change my mind" will suffice in the vast majority of situations. I've seldom found it necessary to actually be rude, even if they don't take the hint the first time.

I am waiting for someone is usually not a good answer. Making an excuse in itself is a slight display of lack of confidence.
You can just say 'no, thank you' or I'm good for now' or anything firmly but politely.
Domt engage in further conversation or at best respond with a question. Recently after i said 'thanks i am good', a girl asked me 'why, you don't like booty?' My answer was 'what do you think'? She mumbled and left.

Shy dancers are worth a try, but I've never gotten a good dance from an obnoxious dancer. I stick with "thanks, I'm just watching the stage show". I'll try to let them finish their pitch out of politeness. But if it lasts more than a minute or so, time to move to a different table/spot.

I recently had a dancer uninvitedly sit down with me and start chatting me up. I had no interest in spending on her, as I didn’t find her attractive so I kept me answers short and didn’t engage any more than possible without being rude hoping she would get the message. Lol, she called me a boring loser who is destined to die lonely and finally went on her way. I guess I could have saved her some time and told her she was ugly right up front but I didn’t have it in me. So to answer the question, no, I don’t like when dancers sit down uninvitedly.

Usually it’s bad, I’m thinking “just leave me alone and go away,” and I’ve been rather direct and some dancers or staff (shot girl, waitress) just don’t get a hint. Often times girls have said if they sit at my table management won’t get after them for “not actively working.”

A few times - an average girl that I’m not interested in comes over and ends up charming the pants off me so I go ahead and take her back for a dance or two and really have a great time. It’s doesn’t happen often but it has happened.

"Unless I actually am waiting for someone, which usually isn't the case, I then have to make up an imaginary stripper that I'm there looking for."

Just point to the dancer you'd rather be talking to. Then you've told the truth and maybe the "go away" girl will mention you're waiting to the one you want.

"Lol, she called me a boring loser who is destined to die lonely and finally went on her way."

This *is* funny.

Take control of the conversation.

I usually quickly steer the conversation to sex. It's a useful way to thin the herd.

I don't mind it. I actually enjoy talking to the girls for awhile (and I respect their talk time with money), because I like to get that head game going before taking a dance. If they are good at convincing me (because I want to be convinced) with the gift of gab, then I'll take a 5-7 for a dance. Sometimes I'll pass on a 7-9 because they don't sit and talk enough for me to get into it.

Based on the reviews I've read the overall membership on TUSCL probably splits close to 50/50 on whether they like this. I don't mind it so long as the conversation is enjoyable and not just an interrogation.

Like some others here I've paid for dances from a girl who I would not have otherwise just because she was so fun to talk to. But those times are rare.

Having done some sales before I got totally used to 49 No's in search of that one Yes. You learn that what you have is not for nearly everybody. No dancer who is going to make it past a week in the biz is going to be offended by a polite and respectful comment that makes it clear you are not interested.

The problem comes in a slow club. She has already heard No from everybody already there. When you walk in you are her only new prospect. She has nothing to lose from being a bit persistent.

Most guys in the club don't go as often as TUSCL guys. Also, if it didn't work more often than not, dancers wouldn't do it.

I say something like this: "I know that you're working and I don't want to waste your time. I really just want to sit and decompress for a little while. I'm not interested in dances for now."

That has always worked for me and the dancer usually reacts fine to it (I get the occasional frustrated eye roll, but so what? They still leave.). I don't make up imaginary dancers. I don't move my seat.

I think there are two situations here -

Dancers approaching and asking for a dance or “may I join you” - I like that. That’s the correct sales approach

Or -

A dancer just plops her butt down like she knows you without asking. That’s the wrong approach and it’s rude and I’ll usually not even get a dance with her unless she is super hot - but those aren’t the ones that do that

===> "Do you enjoy this aspect of strip clubs? Do you think most customers do? If you don't, have you found a polite way to tell the girls to go away?"

I can't speak for most customers, but I very much prefer a dancer who is motivated enough to make the effort. Over the years I have found chasing after unmotivated dancers to be a low ROI activity, though experiences will differ.

Also, as GMD rightly said, anyone who sells almost anything for a living is going to go hungry if he/she isn't willing to initiate contact with potential buyers. When those potential buyers are sitting at tables, she literally is the product and she has competing products walking all around her, it's a no-brainer.

If I don't like the girl who sat down, usually I'll just say something like, "Hon, I don't mean to be rude, but I just want to let you know that I'm not buying anything for a while." As soon as she realizes that she's trying to drill a dry hole, she moves on quick.

It's not necessary to be rude or mean, nor do you need to lie, what always works for me is a simple "not now, maybe later" said politely with a smile, what's so difficult about that

"Having done some sales before I got totally used to 49 No's in search of that one Yes. You learn that what you have is not for nearly everybody."

I also worked in sales for a little while. Did ok with it because I had this flawed approach where I asked people what they wanted and offered them that.

"The problem comes in a slow club."

Thanks COVID and terrible economy and decades of hypocrisy ruining the great club scenes of the 80's, 90's, and early 00's. It's not been fun getting marked as money on a slow shift.

"She has already heard No from everybody already there."

Putting that shoe on the other foot. Maybe. But even if she hasn't been turned away by everyone that shift she's heard it enough since Day 1 to not want a hard pass.

"When you walk in you are her only new prospect. She has nothing to lose from being a bit persistent."

Mostly agree with this about a dancer approaching. The guys on the "go away" side seem to have a beef with dancers who can't or won't take a hint. If I know the dancer is an automatic no, it's typically for a few reasons. More on those later, but I do try and say something polite but clear that I'd rather they not sit down. If I do the pointing thing at another dancer, her getting a visual on what I like is usually enough for them to process and then walk.

Counter on the persistence angle. Opportunity cost is a thing. The guys saying they're trying to save both sides time have a point. I'll routinely ask a girl if she wants to do the rounds even if I'm enjoying her company so they get another chance to make money. I've put off doing dances or a room so dancers could do this, even ones I've just met if I know I'm going to spend on them for a while and it's getting late in a shift. Girls will stay late if it's worth their time and lots of clubs will stay open if a customer is spending on dances.

Ever had a dancer refer to your table as her home table? She likes you and wants to sit there in between making money from other customers. She always gave me great dances and conversation and didn't object to me spreading the wealth around.

It is nice to be wanted but some times it can be a cock block.

We get a lot of complaints in reviews about dancers staring at their phones instead of working the room and now complaints about dancers working the room. My guess is the preference/objection to whether PLs want a dancer to approach directly correlates 1:1 to how hot she is.

Most dancers get the ‘I’m waiting for someone’ or ‘not right now’ but those are passive aggressive statements. For the OP, if you want to be direct without being a dick, just tell the truth. “I’m looking around right now and when I find someone I want to get dances from, I prefer to be the one to approach.” It’s pretty clear you’re interested in her and you don’t have to call her ugly.

This happened to me last night. The club was slow and I had a pleasant conversation with a girl who sat with me. She got called to the stage and as she got up, I told her I’d seen someone I was interested in and tipped her for the time. Did I have to tip? No, but I kept her there awhile because the conversation was good. After I had a rapport with my eventual companion for the night, when she got called to the stage another girl approached and I said I was waiting for the girl on stage. She thanked me for not wasting her time and moved on. This happens a lot and if you club regularly you should have a master’s degree in how to send girls away and go get the girls you want pretty easily and without stress. It’s not hard.

It’s pretty clear you’re NOT interested in her and you don’t have to call her ugly.

McNulty has it right. Whether not interested at all or just not yet, I’ll politely take control, “I’m mellowing out & not looking for company yet, when I’m ready I’ll make it clear” etc. I don’t blame a girl for selling, it’s the business. Most get it & try again later if I’m still free. Some don’t get it & complain or just sit there and cock block. Then more assertive means are necessary, either asking them to leave or moving to the stage or taking a piss & re-locating. If they’re offended, no sweat for me.

Like others have said, I appreciate girls who approach and try to make small talk. Do I like when girls who I'm not interested in do it? No, of course not. But it's a cost of doing business, If I want the girls I like to do it, I have to accept that some I don't will do the same. Again, as others have mentioned I just try to limit time wasted on the encounter to a minimum, for both our sakes. I don't make up bullshit excuses, or say things like "maybe later." I try to find a balance of rejecting her the second she sat down, and wasting both our time. Within the first few moments, after the first round of questions or so, I come out like Rick said and say I'm not interested in any dances or looking for company. I'll usually say something like "thanks for stopping by" or "have a good night" to indicate I'd like them to leave. If they don't get the hint, I'll give em a few moments of awkward silence or curt answers to their questions and them progressively become less polite and more direct with asking them to leave. It's rare, but sometimes you gotta be a dick and point blank ask them to leave.

Definitely agree with @Jimmy on this one. We complain about being approached by dancers, but what if they didn’t approach? If they stayed on the other side of the room and don’t interact, or stay locked down with a regular all night, we complain that they don’t approach.
The issue for me is often timing. I get approached by someone who I might be interested in, but not now, until I’ve had the opportunity to survey the entire field. And then I turn her away only to later regret it after I realize she was the hottest one there.

^WE complain about dancers no one wants approaching......

Strip-clubbing is by-far not-a-perfect-science and w/ experience (or tuscl) most of us learn to abide by the “unwritten strip-club-rules”.

Yeah – the best way would be for dancers to approach *and* ask if we’d like company but as has been mentioned these girls are sales-people and beyond being on-straight-commission they are usually in-the-red walking into-the-club via the various dancer-fees they have to pay usually upfront b/f they’ve ever sold a dance for the shift – so can’t blame the ones that are “extra-proactive” especially in clubs were making-$$$ may not be as easy for various-reasons – as others have mentioned, not only does a dancer have to convince the custy to spend $$$ on-her; but she’s also competing against possibly dozens-of-other-dancers that may be pushier than her and not abide by “proper etiquette”.

Being a variety-PL I’m mostly a yay/nay type PL – i.e. I don’t need a dancer to “convince me” to get a dance (talk me up) – it’s rare I turn a dancer down if I’m ready to get dances and she’s my type – and I don’t mind the wanna-dance line and often prefer it since that is what I’m there for and not really there for cheap-talk w/ someone I usually have little-in-common-with (the few interesting convos I sometimes have are often w/ other custies but it’s not a common-thing) – if she’s my type and she’s trying to talk-me-up, I don’t mind and sometimes enjoy the convo; but due to my variety/dancer-sampling M.O. I often get antsy if she just keeps on talking-and-talking especially if the convo is not that engaging and I mainly just wanna get m PL-hands on-her.

Thus – there isn’t a perfect-solution in strip-club-biazarro-world; just mainly “unwritten rules” – I actually think dancers get more upset investing a long- period-of-time talking-up a PL for him to say no, vs being turned-down upfront. I try to strike a somewhat happy-medium – my M.O. is to let her talk-me-up from 2 to 5 minutes b/f telling her something along the lines of “I don’t wanna waste your time but I just wanna watch the stage for a while and not getting any dances for now” – they usually take the hint that-really-means “I’m not interested” but at least I gave them a shot for a couple-of-minutes vs telling them “no” right-off-the-bat.

Of course it's fine/desirable for them to come by and say hey. But they should ask if you want company before sitting down (unless your an established regular). If I like her, I'll wanna dance her before she gets a chance to sit down.

While I appreciate those who ask for permission to sit over the "Ju wan Danz?" I understand that in a lapdance factory club, the wanna dance is just easier for all involved. Think old school Mons Venus. But at a club where extras might be had... I prefer a bit of chit chat first to make sure I'm going to enjoy the experience.

My pet peeve is when they ask "why not" when I decline their offer. It's literally all I can do to not hurt feelings. Just take the L and move on.

In this Bizzaro World is the only time I get to reject those I'm not feeling and have exactly the one I want. There's a guy for every girl, but every girl certainly isn't going to be for every guy.

One thing I have to work on is not smiling when I say I’m not interested. I think I naturally smile to let them down easier with a no. At the end of the day it’s my money and should be spent how I want it to.