I like to write long ones, some folks like to read them, others not. If the content is solid, brief is fine for me. If they're a good storyteller, I'll read on for pages. It all depends.
Good question. I think I would usually prefer quality over quantity and believe the reviews should all include basic information regarding the club, the place in general, the staff and the overall value
Somewhere in the middle. I want plenty of details about the specifics of the visit, including the crew working that day/night, costs and anything unusual or notable (good or bad) that the reviewer observed. What I don't want is so much of the autobiographical filler that some reviewers are prone to writing, all too often when they're trying to bulk up a review which is light on details about the specific visit.
“So, I and my friend went to the club last night. We usually don’t go out that late, but it was a special occasion. I ordered my rum and coke and thought about getting a baked potato……”
Example 2
“There were 15 dancers, about 12 sixes, 2 sevens, and an eight. The eight was named Bambi and I got 4 VIP dances from her with great mileage……”
I’m not stingy with giving away Founder’s 4 weeks of VIP. Give me some decent info and I’ll approve even if you forget to tell me the price of your drink.
As for an ideal length of review, I don’t have one. As long as there’s a balance of information and readability I’m happy. Some reviews are really long winded and very dry making them unreadable. And readability includes using paragraphs. It’s not that hard to hit the return key twice. My New Year’s resolution is to reject reviews that don’t use paragraphs. You 2d grade English motherfuckers have been warned.
My preference is a review where the reviewer knew what he/she wanted to say and said it straightforwardly, Punctuation is semi important, if it's not readable I won't bother, and another preference is to review clubs I know something about or have visited myself.
If I am interested in the specific club, I'll read a very long review. If it is too short, I'll read it but reject it. If it not a club that I am interested in but the topic of the review catches my eye, I'll read it and Adjudicate it according to the guidelines. Rarely reviewed clubs will usually get a positive vote regardless of length or quality.
Good writing is most important, and good writing is usually succinct. It can be longish, but it must be well organized, pithy, and paragraphed. If it just covers your own experience with one girl, then it's probably useless to me. Even worse, if you simply report going in, not engaging with anyone, and then leaving. One basic that must be covered: PRICES.
Super short won't have enough info, but we don't need to know the color of the urinal cakes.
Number of dancers, general demographics of the dancers, average dancer hotness and typical mileage are key details. Booze details are probably important as well. So is parking and general safety vibe.
There are some good writers on this site, but a bread and butter review should mostly be factual information and general impressions. If the club gets a review every week the details matter less than a club that gets reviewed every six months.
Length doesn't matter nearly as much as knowing how to do it right and how much effort you put into it. At least that is what the strippers tell me in the vip room. I guess it applies to reviews as well.
It's not about length it's the quality of the content and it being a retelling of an experience. Not a description of how many feet apart chairs are or the height of the stage.
The review information most wanted involves prices, club mileage, attractiveness of dancers and availability of dancers. You could probably do that in two paragraphs. The "I walked into the club and there were no dancers, so I left" review would be ok with me but not with a lot of adjudicators and I understand why they would feel that way.
I like it if the review shows some originality or makes me laugh. I want to get a feel for what a visit there would be like so subjective impressions of the reviewer are interesting to me. Elaborate descriptions of club layout or all the price details like how much a beer costs don't interest me.
In my view, it’s not the length of the review (that’s what she said!) but rather the ability of the reviewer to provide a readable review that provides useful club details.
A long review can be very useful and readable - as long as the reviewer can convey club information without becoming long winded and boring.
A short review can become tedious quickly - if the reviewer focuses on specific dancers or other areas - and he is a poor writer.
Ok so first off we all had our first review. The more you do something the better you get at doing it. Spell check helps put a lot. Some reviews are impossible to understand due to typing errors. I also enjoy when people are able to add the right amount of humor in their reviews. For me that always make reading it more enjoyable.
The key word is useful. Every paragraph should contain a piece of information that is useful for future visits, especially about the dancers and the dances they provide. If something has already been discussed in prior reviews ( drink prices, hours, layout ), it is not useful.
“Hemingway was contemptuous of writers who, as he put it, “never learned how to say no to a typewriter.” In a 1945 letter to his editor, Maxwell Perkins, Hemingway writes:
It wasn’t by accident that the Gettysburg address was so short. The laws of prose writing are as immutable as those of flight, of mathematics, of physics.”
I always laugh when someone writes a long review, which I do if I have a lot to say, and then puts a TLDR at the end with a short summary. Those need to go at the top, asshole! If you put it at the end I’ve already read your tome!
30 comments
“So, I and my friend went to the club last night. We usually don’t go out that late, but it was a special occasion. I ordered my rum and coke and thought about getting a baked potato……”
Example 2
“There were 15 dancers, about 12 sixes, 2 sevens, and an eight. The eight was named Bambi and I got 4 VIP dances from her with great mileage……”
I prefer the second example.
As for an ideal length of review, I don’t have one. As long as there’s a balance of information and readability I’m happy. Some reviews are really long winded and very dry making them unreadable. And readability includes using paragraphs. It’s not that hard to hit the return key twice. My New Year’s resolution is to reject reviews that don’t use paragraphs. You 2d grade English motherfuckers have been warned.
Some here think there's a certain formula, I don't.
Number of dancers, general demographics of the dancers, average dancer hotness and typical mileage are key details. Booze details are probably important as well. So is parking and general safety vibe.
There are some good writers on this site, but a bread and butter review should mostly be factual information and general impressions. If the club gets a review every week the details matter less than a club that gets reviewed every six months.
I like it if the review shows some originality or makes me laugh. I want to get a feel for what a visit there would be like so subjective impressions of the reviewer are interesting to me. Elaborate descriptions of club layout or all the price details like how much a beer costs don't interest me.
A long review can be very useful and readable - as long as the reviewer can convey club information without becoming long winded and boring.
A short review can become tedious quickly - if the reviewer focuses on specific dancers or other areas - and he is a poor writer.
I say, extra points for any review that quotes Shakespeare.
BTW, I don't think Shakespeare coined "shill review." So no extra points for desertscrub.
It wasn’t by accident that the Gettysburg address was so short. The laws of prose writing are as immutable as those of flight, of mathematics, of physics.”