what to do when seeing a regular at a club but want to try another dancer?

Remind the current dancer she has other customers and fair is fair. Your money makes it about you. This is only an either-or situation if she makes it that way and if she does wish her the best and move along.

Strip Club Wife Syndrome has been discussed many times here. Short answer is man up, and politely, but firmly tell her what’s up. Some girls will pout and give you a lot of drama, but most are totally OK with it, and will appreciate you being straightforward.

She was not upset you got a dance with another dancer. she was upset your money got a dance with another dancer.


remind her that you will only continue getting dances if you enjoy them. You won't enjoy her dances if she is nagging you or starting a fight. If she wants to continue getting your money, you need to continue enjoying her dances.

I just tell them that I am a slut.

Grow a pair.

Old dancer is behaving badly, give her no dances for a while.

If she was being cool, say “I want to see you, but I’d like to get some dances from other girls first tonight”, but she’s not.

New dancer is doing her job, get some more dances if you like.

They’re remarkably perceptive, if you are clear that you aren’t putting up with her bs, she will know.

I get bored after three or for times so I just buy them a drink and a dance they seem to understand. When I’m done they go sit with someone else and never think about me so y would I be exclusively

This happens, dancers don't like seeing "their" money go to someone else. Not a knock on them, many customers get butthurt when strippers dance for other guys too.

I'm a big favorite stripper kinda guy, so this is certainly something I deal with pretty regularly. But I do periodically like a little variety. When it happens to me, I don't make it into more than it needs to be. I'll tell her I want dances with someone else. I try to be clear about it being a "right now" or "this time" or "today" kinda thing if that's what it is. Most of the time they'll just be like "okay, I'll see you later" Occasionally they'll be some fake pouting or whatever when I say it. But it's exceedingly rare that the original dancer won't be more than happy to dance for me the next time I'm there. Or 10 minutes after I'm done "cheating on her" with another stripper. It's certainly possible the original girl will lower her service or whatever, but I've not really noticed it much. Its equally likely she'll go the extra mile to win you back so to speak. Realistically, it almost never has any impact beyond the 30 seconds it takes to tell her. It's just not that big of a deal, don't make it one.

Like shadow suggested, you can have a little fun with it. I once sang a little bit of that Megan the stallion song. "I'm a slut guy, guy, I do slut shit. Spend my income, on a lap dance." or I've gone the other way and pretended to break up with them, complete with the whole "It's not you, it's me. I'll always cherish the time we spent with your tits in my face. I hope we can still be friends" kinda shit. It's easy to miss the mark and come off like a jackass if you try to have fun with it though, so be careful if you go that route.

iknowbetter summed it up nicely. Be polite but blunt about the reality that you didn't come to a strip club looking for monogamy. But understand that you might move down her list of favorite customers (but probably only temporarily). If there's too much drama, then it was likely time to move on anyway.

After I've seen the same dancer two or three times, I'll set expectations up front that I'm not her "territory" and that on some nights I might want to spend time with other dancers. It can help cut off some of the drama ahead of time.

There's a simple technique for knowing how much you need to compromise in order to avoid the other party walking away from a business deal: learn to read minds.

Her negotiating position is extreme. The fact that you didn't immediately reject it means there's a good chance that being her customer is a bad, self-destructive habit for you. Like drinking too much. Best to cut such habits off sooner rather than later.

@GrayFox

I will play along and comment on your discussion.

Q: what to do when seeing a regular at a club but want to try another dancer?

Do you get a dance from the new dancer and see what happens and might lose the regular one or stay with the current one you have a good time with?

A: What has worked for me, In order to have access to both is to ask the new dancer if she would be interested in OTC, (if you want we can meet outside so you don’t have to share with the club and we both can have a better deal.) make sure the new dancer knows that you want to “discreet and anonymous”

If you can afford it you will have access to both. With little to no drama as long as the new dancer and you are discreet.

If the old dancer becomes suspicious or asks you questions you should respond “a gentleman never tells, I will never tell anyone anything about you”.

Just remember: “Don’t Buy Things You Can’t Afford”

+1 to iknowbetter's comments about Strip Club Wife Syndrome.

I'll just add that, while a lot of girls come around in these situations, some don't. So be it - you have to let her walk. Don't let fear of conflict or of "losing her" get in the way. The alternative is having one favorite dictating your club experiences for some indefinite period of time, which is just not acceptable, at least for most guys.

If a dancer gets angry or upset with a regular customer who does lap dances with another girl that may drive the customer off. Most good dancers don't do that. However, I think sometimes a customer wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants the special treatment he receives from a regular while at the same time switching away from her when he feels like it. When he does that, he should expect the friendliness level from his regular to drop at least some.

I have a lot of regulars. I'll always pick my regular. When I come into the club, they usually head straight for me with a smile on their face when they see me. If I started saying "not today but maybe some other time" that might no longer happen. The exception is when it is obvious my regular didn't show up for some reason. I'll sometimes pick another girl. This can turn into a problem, though, when I go back because I may have two girls heading for my table at the same time. Usually, if I want variety I visit on a different shift or go to a different strip club. The only problem with doing lap dances in different clubs is if I have regulars in three or four clubs and they all move to the same club. That's happened a couple times.

I go try another dancer.

I agree with Doc. Money is money, but when you are loyal to one girl you often get benefits. Better LD experience, more time for conversations, priority service when you walk in the bar, and her answering your message. Strippers are very flaky and those advantages should never been taken for granted. If you are a regular with this girl she's probably doing a good job so dont play with fire.

My advice is to discretely ask the girl you are interested in when your regular girl isn't around what days she dances. The two girls rarely dance on the same day. If you know the days your girls dance you can see the new girl when your girl isn't there. 9 times out of 10 this new girl will fail to meet your expectations and you can tell your old girl that you had a sudden urge to visit if she learns of it.

A bit more work than growing a pair of balls, but even at clubs women are women. They remember everything, hold grudges, get catty with other dances. As Doc said I have tried to play the field and found a drop in service with my regular or being hounded by the new girl I didnt click with

"With limits" are two key words. I have cultivated "regulars" at a couple of clubs that do everything I want to do. No reason to risk effing that up when I can just go to another club when I'm looking for variety

One system for categorizing dancers:
Partiers: act rando in the club, may hustle a little when they get an eviction notice or run out of weed.
Haters: prefer self-hating PLs, whose comfort zone is being shit on. $ is a secondary priority for them. They'd beat out the Whale Hunters if they actually made the $ they brag about making.
Whale-hunters: They're conventionally pretty, work out, spend on cosmetics and clothes, hair, botox and plastic surgery. Wealthy men like these women for the same reasons they like Audis better than Toyotas.
Career Strippers: plan to move on to a different career sooner or later. Stripping is what they do for work, not who they are. But, when they work a shift, they wan't to get every dollar they can.

The OP's fav is maybe a Whale-hunter, but probably a Hater.

I stick with the Career Strippers. In general, in the places where I club, as long as I spend at least $100 on them when we're both in the Club, they'll consider it worth it to prioritize me. But even a non-Whale-Hunter may have a whale or two. If he shows up at the club, just your bad luck. That's when your glad if you have more than one fav.

What kind of limits are you working with? You have likely spent too much, and received too little, which has lead this dancer to think she owns you. You should stop seeing the regular entirely and see new dancers.

Dolfan, customers get butthurt if a dancer gives other guys dances? Thats laughable. Are they unaware of what the dancers job is? Or if they want that loyalty from a dancer, are they willing to pay her the 4k+ per month she makes from the job?

Luckily few of my favorites over the years got mad that I got dances from other dancers, mostly because I am known for getting dances from multiple dancers during the night. If anything I have had a few of my favorites recommend several new dancers "I might like." A few of whom later became favorites of mine.

Just say you were in a rush that day and she was busy. One tells me I’m her favorite and I 1/2 believe her because I give her extensive massages and that’s not regular so she really enjoys my visits and rushes out to see me when I get there. However she has a regular whale. This guy books 2 hours in VIP at $500 an hour and orders anything she wants on door dash and let’s her eat in there and play on the phone. I don’t want to compete with that. I’m happy for her. She has no problem s chasing his money. She will say I’m sorry I missed you. It go’s both ways. That’s why I have a backup just in case.

She sees you as her money and of course doesn't want to share

You grow some balls and tell her you want to see another girl tonight

I don't consider any dancer a regular, even the ones I regularly get dances from. It's open season anytime I'm in a strip club.

If strippers don’t understand that men like variety then they don’t know men:

I just went through this on my last trip in Detroit. I was banging this stripper on the side for "free", like a gf, but at her place or my hotel, not in the club. At the club, I would pay for dances and tip her generously. She was cool with me dancing with other girls, as long as she wasn't at the club at the same time. She would hang with me for a drink or two while we were at the club, but also danced with other guys -- which I was cool with because she needs to make money. When we go out, she maybe picked up ice cream or coffee, but I paid for everything else. If we weren't mashing, I would tell her she's my first regular, meaning I would dance with her first upon arrival but expected to get other dances as I deem worthy.

^ They 100% understand it. But that doesn't change the fact that they want to make more money. And they want to make more money because it's their job.

It's not unreasonable to expect a dancer to try to convince a customer to spend exclusively on them. It's up to the customer to set expectations, either sooner (which is better) or later. And if the dancer reacts badly or insists on exclusivity, then it's up to the customer to either go with it or find a new favorite dancer.

^ Intended for BL92.