Affirmation that they are not "whores"
rickdugan
Verified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
Is it something in the water? Seriously. Lately I've run into a number of OTC girls who need some type of affirmation that I do not view them as whores. Whether it's a girl who wants me to understand that this is not a regular thing for her, or one who wants me to spend some time listening to her talk about herself so I see her as a human being, or one who comes right out and tells me that she doesn't want me to think of her as a whore, it's all the same. They need some type of affirmation in order to feel OK about what they are doing.
Fair warning - I am a bit drunk from a very good night out. But the girl tonight was one of the ones who specifically needed to hear me tell her that I viewed her as more than a whore. When I encounter one of these types, there are almost always water works involved, which was the case here as well.
So there I am, tired from the booze and the sex, thinking about making a graceful departure, when this stuff started. I had to spend another 15 minutes reassuring her that I viewed her as a complete person and enjoyed her company, trotting out some of our historical interactions to buttress these comments.
Just fuck. Anyone else deal with this routinely with OTC girls?
Fair warning - I am a bit drunk from a very good night out. But the girl tonight was one of the ones who specifically needed to hear me tell her that I viewed her as more than a whore. When I encounter one of these types, there are almost always water works involved, which was the case here as well.
So there I am, tired from the booze and the sex, thinking about making a graceful departure, when this stuff started. I had to spend another 15 minutes reassuring her that I viewed her as a complete person and enjoyed her company, trotting out some of our historical interactions to buttress these comments.
Just fuck. Anyone else deal with this routinely with OTC girls?
131 comments
15 whole minutes?! Bwah ha. I've spent longer than that trying to talk a dancer down from a ledge because I suggested the wrong club to meet at. I thought we were meeting on neutral ground to sort out the details for a no pants dance, and she thought we were going on a date.
AHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhah
A psycho burnout should probably think carefully before she criticizes other for being weak minded. Most of the girls I see agree to this because they are supporting other people, such as kids, aging parents, etc., and need to earn the freight. One is shouldering high living expenses because she needs a place big enough to house all of her rescue animals. OTOH with your issues I suspect that you struggle just to take care of yourself.
===> "15 whole minutes?! Bwah ha."
Sadly my real life is chalk full of unavoidable female drama. If I didn't learn how to deal with dramatic moments fairly efficiently I'd never get anything else done. 😆
But when I get those precious nights out, it's not really what I'm looking to deal with. I'm paying someone to focus on *my* needs. Now we're all human, so the occasional bad moment is unavoidable, but damn I seem to be running into it a lot more lately.
While I understand the preference towards low-volume or first-timers, etc., I think that if you're going to be the person who convinces a dancer to start doing P4P sex, then baked into that is the unavoidable reality that for a decent percentage of these women your fun is going to be their existential crisis. I'm pretty sure that this isn't the first time you've posted about a dancer crying at the end of one of your OTC sessions. So, obviously there's nothing in the water; this reaction is furniture in the space in which you choose to have your particular fun.
And so each guy has to ask themselves how much of that they can or want to deal with. Personally, if my OTCs ended often enough in crisis and tears where I thought "I wonder why this keeps happening?", then I'd likely change tacks or just stop. But, other guys will make other choices.
I agree with ilbbaicnl's comment regarding "ridiculous" values. I'd lump in "often hypocritical" as well, but that's not going to change anytime soon.
I will play along and comment on your discussion.
It is not the water; it is YOU, you unconsciously, instinctively choose these type of girls.
And then YOU tolerate their behavior and YOU like, enjoy complaining about it.
So don’t drink and drive and don’t drink and OTC, and don’t drink and post, because you might be causing harm to yourself and others.
With the girls I spend less time with and do have more overtly transactional relationships with, its mostly because that's how they prefer it. In all honesty, that's most often the Cuban chicks. It's not the majority of the Cuban girls operate that way, but the majority of the ones that do are Cuban. I'm not sure if its a language and communication gap and I just don't know how they feel or if its more of a cultural or socioeconomic thing and they don't have those needs or feelings to begin with.
This is no different than the fact that those of us that pay for sex are by definition whoremongers or whatever term you want to use. That isn't all we are but it is part of who we are.
I have no problem telling the women I see otc or itc for sex that I see them as funny, smart, confident, friendly or whatever else about their personality led me to choose them over the other available sexy dancers for the extra services that evening. In fact I usually do this without them asking as part of my flirting/negotiating with them before finalizing the deal after all complementing her on the things you find appealing about her other than just her looks can go a long way.
Maybe that is why I have never had a dancer ask me if I see her as just a whore since I have already told her what else I like about her.
Funny, I was thinking about this myself and agree to a certain extent. But let's also be clear-eyed about where I meet them. It's not like I'm soliciting girls working fast food drive thru lanes. These are strippers who have already chosen to commercialize their sexual appeal to varying degrees. Now sure crossing that line is indeed a Rubicon moment for some of them, but it's not like they weren't marching in that general area to begin with.
Idk. As someone else mentioned, I've had these moments in the past, but they have become much more frequent as-of late. I may need to think about whether something has changed in my own behavior lately which is making them feel less valued/appreciated.
If there is an increase in post-OTC crisis, then it might be tied to the bad economy, inflation, and the resulting desperation. But I'm no expert; it could be something else entirely.
So, again, if that's the case then every guy has to ask themselves if they are helping someone in a desperate spot or exploiting their desperation. That probably comes down to a case-by-case basis.
There you go trying to apply logic to female emotions, lol. 😆
It is better not to use any of those terms with dancers, lol, especially ones who don't do this routinely. A girl who finally decides to selectively cross the line with one or a few club customers often doesn't view herself as any of those things.
I suspect that most low volume girls rationalize it by viewing it as nothing more than an extension of their club activities. After all, she's not selling sex on some website or fucking and sucking dudes ITC - ew gross. Nope, she just decided to meet up outside with one or a few customer(s) who she got comfortable with ITC. So there's no way that anyone could think of her as some whore, right? 😁
You can call it hypocrisy, emotional deceit or whatever else you want, but you'd be surprised how many of the girls I've seen OTC think this way. I've even had OTC partners sitting with me call other girls ITC "whores", with a note of genuine disgust in their voices, even as they were planning to leave with me that night. Like so many things we encounter when we deal with women, we may never understand how a girl thinks this way, but it is enough to know that she does and adjust accordingly.
Mind you, I've never, ever, found any profit at all in calling one of these girls a hooker, whore, escort, or whatever other synonym for prostitute. There's just no reason to do so. But most of them seem to have been self-aware enough to recognize the reality. My ATF used to say "I'm *your* whore", and even my current "sugar baby" has made similar mostly joking comments.
A hoe is a hoe is a rake lulz
Who me? No! Of course I see you as a real person!
A sexual object? No worth outside of sex? Who filled your pretty little head with such thoughts?!
I know cosmetology school will provide you with a meaningful career. Once you get back to your studies, I’m confident you will be valedictorian of your class - and graduate with some sort of honors!
I basically listen and act offended when she pauses - as that’s usually when I’m required to show interest and reply.
Rick, I know you have children and possibly listening to some of the girl’s school drama helps to prepare for this. But, I agree, it’s annoying when you are paying.
Yeah, and that is the difference between me and them. I am selfish af and do not have obligations :) I know, that's why I got a pet cat to take care of me the last few years.
Also honestly, I just think they are weak-minded and dumb. It is easy to run up your credit in an emergency or hell go get a regular fucking job and sign up for the all the overtime in the world. Easy to do these days if desperate.
Anyways there are a lot of lonely guys out there that are willing to help girls out without sexual favors in return. I do not understand these stupid American and Latina bitches that do not realize the power of just being a cute female willing to listen to and care about a lonely guy's issues.
If you feel like escorts charge too much, I guess it's another example how there's never really a free lunch.
You need to eat WAY MORE BEANS! SERIOUSLY BRO! You have an imbalance of hot air coming out of you and the beans will help restore the balance. You need to fart more to match the hot air from the other end.
In reality hoes hate men like him. They resent them. They know they're being used because of their desperate circumstance
Most of these otc girls and escorts are very smart and cunning. The stereotypical desperate crack hoe is the one doing stuff for $50 or $80.
The lonely guys you refer to who give out free money for nothing, have issues of their own to resolve, and are being taken advantage of by the girls and are probably desperate for something.
It is exceedingly difficult, but maybe becoming more common for a strict no extras dancer to maintain any regulars. An extras dancer can potentially earn $300+ from the same client week after week. Even if they use icees robbing, beating and leading on tactics they would struggle to get $300 more than once off of the same client. Non extras likely require higher client turnover. Also even if you are talking morally, how do you equate full service sex with a nude lapdance? For instance is OTC with 5 clients really worse than doing a nude lapdance for 15 clients?
The otc girls are using their time more efficiently
I was laughing bc I was drunk and it’s funny, and it’s funny because you are calling Rick out on an aspect of his method that many of us feel is a little dodgy, and that he tends to dance around a bit. You’re pinning someone down on their bs and that can be very funny, esp with a deadpan delivery.
Not that I feel he is a bad person for paying women good money for a service that they provide, whatever their internal narrative around that service is. Everybody involved is a grownup and no one has a gun to their head.
I see someone beat me to it, but I was going to point out to you that guys giving you large amounts of money with nothing in exchange is just as weak and a sure indication of some sort of weirdness as well.
Since our resident drama queen Drew seems to believe that I dance around this, let me address it head on.
First, this comment was absurdly arrogant. Do you really think that your intelligence/cunning/willpower are superior to those who ultimately make this choice? Please. With all due respect, you're a fucking psychological mess. Even with nothing more than a cat and yourself to feed, you're burnt to a crisp. Imagine what your mental state would be right now if you actually had other people to take care of and high baked in living expenses to shoulder.
Also the notion that I prey on anyone is hogwash. You really think that they girls I see don't know what their other options are? That they don't know where the food banks are, or how to find other support services, or that they don't understand that they can work vanilla jobs if they wish, etc., etc? How stuck in your own head are you?
When a girl sees me OTC to pay some bill, it is because it is the option more preferable to her than doing one of these other things, not because she's incapable of doing them. Around here we have more food pantries, soup kitchens, charitable organizations (including Catholic Charities) than you can shake a stick at, along with more jobs than can be filled.
For example, if a girl fucks me for money in order to earn grocery money for her and the kids, it's not because she would have to go hungry otherwise. It's because she'd prefer that to having to drag them to a meal service or get groceries from a local food bank. As another example, if she fucks me to keep her cell phone on, it's because she'd rather not live without it for however long it takes to pay it some other way. I could go on.
This isn't the 1950s, with little in the way of on the ground support for those who need it. When a girl fucks me for money, it's never really because she has no other options. Instead it is about convenience and maintaining a certain standard of living, especially for the kiddos.
More weak minded than a coal miner selling his or her body (and lung health) to mine coal? More weak minded than a professional athlete selling his or her body for entertainment?
There is nothing inherently immoral about prostitution, from either side. The characterization of it as such is yet another way to for people to impose their will on women and limit their choices.
@blah: "It is easy to run up your credit in an emergency or hell go get a regular fucking job and sign up for the all the overtime in the world."
A "regular" job that pays a tenth of what an hour of letting some creepy fuck stick his dick in you. If I could pay my mortgage by selling sex for four or five hours a month, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
I love people who treat their own particular moral choices as some kind of natural law that others are "weak" or "corrupt" for not following.
Once, an OTC dancer was persistently telling me that she wasn't a hooker and wasn't in my hotel room for the money. So, I tried taking the inconspicuous envelope back and she seemed to have a quick change of heart and suddenly the money was important.
One of my OTC pals would turn your head so fast you'd sprain your neck. But, because she was black, I was afraid someone would think she cleaned my house, and ask her to clean theirs. Hopefully I only have such fears because I saw the bad old days.
I think it's pretty phony for a flea to feel like it's better than the dog whose back it rides on. Strippers are important to me, I'd feel greasy being ashamed of them.
If she was actually desperate she’d fuck for $50 or under $100!
Seems like many here are convinced that strippers are very distinct from women under 35 in general. That's not what I see, more similar that different.
For example a woman that has sex for money is, by definition, a whore, so if she's desperately trying to make sure you don't think of her that way, then she's in denial.
The same thing goes with RIL trick bitch Iceydodo. She claims she's not a trick over and over, yet at the end of the day she pays junkie stripper whores a lot of money and drugs for GFE. Again, she's in denial about her true self. Her actions speak volumes to what she truly is - as opposed to what she claims, ad nauseam, in her posts. 🤭🤡😂😂😂
He’s stated what he wants, she needs to do the same before not after.
I am not talking about girls who solicited then cry later. It clearly seems like Rick goes for girls that don't really wanna do this then he vents about them crying? What did you think? Oh wait you're a fucking predatory sociopath who doesn't give a flying fuck.
Anyways of course they're not their only tricks
I’m not dodging your question, I don’t know the answer to that my reading is I’m giving Rick some poetic license, for the sake of the tale, but I just don’t see this as coercive as you do, I’m guessing that they were gung ho for the money and maybe they changed their mind after the fact, or maybe they thought they could get a few more bucks out of him, or who knows, my sex life is the same few women for years now, I just go to a few clubs to drink and have a few laughs with my friends the gals I’m friends with I very rarely go to their club, they more often join me at where I’m hanging out.
While his motives may not be altruistic it isn't like he is blackmailing the girls into it. He didn't put them into the situation they are in, he just offers them a way out. Is it a bit sad and creepy? Sure, but so is every part of the sex work industry to an extent.
I'm sure there may be a few girls that grow up and want to be a sex worker because it seems like fun. The majority just make a choice and decide sex work is the best choice to get what they want. A few of them are going to regret that choice either right after the first time or at some point down the road. Personally I prefer girls who have done it a few times before since they are more likely to have come to terms with their decision to be a full service sex worker and less likely to regret it right after. UT I can't blame Rick for preferring newbies if that is what he likes.
Look, I will never be rick's greatest fan, for a variety of reasons I've expressed here a fair few times, but I've never gotten the impression that he goes after woman who don't "want to". He definitely goes after women who might not usually do it, and he's probably convinced a few who've never done it before, but the very nature of preferring women who aren't high volume sex workers is going to be accompanied by a certain amount of soul searching on the woman's part when they've actually done the deed, and I have little doubt that some of the women he's convinced decided "never again" afterwards, but "crying"? Not that I've seen.
Rick, you have bragged yourself into a corner. 😉
I’ll even bring out the toy
https://youtu.be/DT18WA7tGrc
===> Drama_Queen posted: "Rick, you have bragged yourself into a corner. 😉"
A few times over multiple years is hardly a pattern. Indeed the very reason I posted about them, then and now, were because of their aberrational nature.
Because I don't want those girls.
Look blah, I'm not sure what impression you've formed of me, but I can assure you that I'm the last guy to ever hard sell a girl. It's often a natural process that happens over time, often involving several conversations in the club and a fair amount of rapport building. I never press a girl who tells me that she isn't interested. Instead I leave the door open if she ever changes her mind and, every so often (usually when she is complaining about slow money), remind her that it is an option.
Those are the basics anyway. The rapport building is definitely the key. I'm not arrogant, condescending, uptight, too eager to please, defensive, boisterous or any of those other traits which make so many club customers so off-putting and emotionally draining to deal with. I'm relaxed, quietly friendly and happy to tip decently barside and on stage. This keeps keeps the chair next to me often occupied, especially on slower shifts, including girls who have declined an offer in the past. From there, when the moment is right, things have a way of opening up.
Btw none of this was intended to be bragging. Just trying to be clear that I'm hardly one of those guys who goes into a club seeking some sad or desperate looking girl to prey upon. I go looking for girls who entice me and then, if the stars eventually align, then cool beans.
However the thing is this. Do we really know if rick is just talking them into this? Its likely a combination of his talking skills and his looks. He mentioned hes still muscular and built like a monster truck. Maybe he looks very good for his age, which then plays a factor and explains the jealousy and possessiveness of some of these girls. Even here on the website his dms are likely stuffed with dancers dming him for otc. They read his experiences and know he is in demand, which creates a trifecta of more dancers wanting to meet him otc even if they normally don’t do it.
"I'm not arrogant, condescending, uptight, too eager to please, defensive, boisterous or any of those other traits" - Rick, 20 lines later.
Is that just in the club, or on tuscl too? 😉
I got a dude right now I don't fuck or even send nudes to paying my rent like the last half yr or so while I've been back in school. Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty smart.
I've also done plenty of OTC w/o screwing and been paid for a mutually pleasant time.
Do I think I'm emotionally balanced? No. Did I say that anywhere? No. Do I think I am a total genius or rocket scientist? LOL no.
I guess to each their own. I would rather get a low wage job which out here these days is like $20/hr and just slave away OT than be a crying mess and doing sht I regret to fix a temporary problem. If this isn't a temporary financial issue then if the same girl has frequent REAL (not exaggerated or fictitious) financial crises then maybe she needs to learn how to manage her money better or get a better paying job or work more????? Or perhaps get educated on just how much you can get out of these dudes.
That kinda sounds like what you’ve been riding Rick about
Speaking strictly for myself I don’t want to take advantage of anyone but I’m not going to allow myself to be taken advantage of either
20fag you couldn't keep 2 wives and your fugly daughter isn't around either. You know shit about women
Drew. See whenever I'm right I hit a nerve.
They degrade the hookers they pay to feel better about themselves. Some go as far as to pretend they're not hookers. Some exhibit extreme anger and misogyny berating them after fucking them. Like Rick
Now go suck their ducks coz you're just like them
They hate you because you disrespect their space. Harassment follows easily from there. You make it easier with nonsense sjw politics and absurd conflicting positions like espousing feminism and then calling women stripper ho's. But thats just icing on the cake.
They hate you bc you disrespect their space, and the main activity that brings them to the space: paying for sex. They harass you bc you won't leave.
I'll add that I am not into ducks.
You basically hate the free market, hence your hate extends to republicans, tricks, hoes, etc...
thats your problem if you’re dating someone in the sex work industry and you dont want her doing extras
Justifying harassment and hate online makes you sick in the head. Go pay attention to your family instead of me
you could point out that when he’s not around there is very few protracted issues between members he’s the issue because his enabler (founder) won’t do the right thing and get rid of the obvious problem.
Quack Quack
meeting a dancer for dinner, show and then back to my place tonight. all so she can say she is my date. Hotels make her feel like a whore, taking money for sex does not
Surprise, I think you are a trick🥳
And the two lived happily ever after. The end.💋
I also try hard to not go to the front desk with the dancer, because (though it's very rare) there is the occasional front desk person who decides to be openly condescending or snarky. And, though it doesn't matter to me, it has put the dancer into sour / angry mood. That's not the best way to kick off an OTC encounter.
maybe someday our paths will cross.
Your honesty and brevity are impressive. Your post is almost poetic!