Breaking Loose from CF

You said it yourself, "man up". It's not gonna get any better until you do. Yes, you risk losing out on her, but when you put your foot down, she'll likely get over it.

Once had a girl say to me "I heard you cheated on me when I wasn't here."

So I said to her, "Am I the only dick you suck in here?"

Once had four girls in the same club I'd see regularly, both in and out. One day when they were all there at the same time and came up to me and said, "We got together and decided that it's ok for you to see all of us."

I said, "Good thing. I'd hate to have to give any of you up."

One of them smiled, because she'd known exactly what I was going to say. One almost looked offended, but not for long.

Had a girl at PT's come up one day and declare that I couldn't talk to another specific dancer anymore because they weren't friends anymore. I told her that was her issue, not mine, and if wanted to stop dancing for me because of it, I understood. She just looked at me for a minute and said, "OK." She did not stop taking my money.

So, as you said, "man up".

I don't get all the angst, it's a strip club, the girls circulate, if you expect to have a good time, why the fuck would a grown man be answering to a bunch of little girls in their underwear. In other words, being a man, you've decided to go to a strip club, half of you guys act like you checked your balls before entering.

It's not about you. They're being possessive with your money and you as a regular. Not you as a person.

No disrespect, but I can’t even believe this is an actual post. Wtf?! Never let anyone tell you how/when/where to spend your money

^ If dancers see you going for dances with one or several dancers, then they know where you're spending your money.

If you start getting dances or OTC from a dancer consistently, then you need to set expectations early on. Let them know (politely) that you like and want variety. Also let them know that drama and trying to fence you off is a great way to never see your open wallet ever again.

If it happens anyway, then you need to tell the dancer (still politely) that you weren't kidding. You like and want variety, and if she doesn't cut it out then she's never going to see your open wallet again.

Caveat... If you're not going to give your favorite dancer any special considerations, then don't be surprised if you become less of a priority for her. It's a two-way street.

Inflation and prices remain high and dancers need more money for buying holiday gifts (for others and themselves). That's why dancers are being more aggressive with customers.

Man up and tell her its your money and you get a dance from any one you want. if she doesn't like it. Tell her to FUCK OFF!!!!!

^ Don't do this. There are better ways of getting your point across and not be a dick about it.

More importantly, there are ways of making your point and continuing to have fun with the that dancer (probably).

Yea you gotta man up bro. You are obligated to spend a dime on these chicks no matter how much you’ve spend on them in the past. Just like they are no obligated to give you time and attention. I have dancers who try to guilt trip me all the time if I don’t want a dance I don’t want a dance and until the clubs make a requirement to purchase dances I’ll purchase them when I please.

Not obligated*

There is more competition now between the dancers because of the deteriorating economy leading to fewer customers spending less money. Real income, that is income adjusted for inflation, has dropped for 19 straight months. In the third quarter of this year household debt increased at the fastest rate since the first quarter of 2008. That 2008 expansion of household debt led into a serious recession. I've run into a couple dancers who worked then who said the strip club industry never really recovered from that 2008 recession.

My regulars have seemed happier to see me on recent visits. None of them have told me I can't do lap dances with other girls, but I did see an angry look on the face of one when she saw me approach another dancer. It's up to strip club management to prevent one girl from trying to intimidate another. Traditionally dancers have an understanding not to approach each other's regulars. As the competition increases for fewer customers, there will be more stripper drama. This is likely to backfire. Many guys don't have girlfriends in order to avoid girlfriend drama and go to strip clubs instead. They will stop going if they have to start dealing with too much stripper drama.

What makes this most amusing is that the girls have no issue jumping from guy to guy while multiple regulars are in the club, or being very active on social media sites to seek guys, even blatantly posting cashapp handles. What's good for the goose.....you don't get my sole attention until/unless I get YOUR full attention, babe.

It's not all that amusing or surprising. It's a strip club and it's their job. If they think they can do [X] to make more money, then they will. That's why you set expectations.

"seems that something is in the water."

Something like less money in the water. It's making some girls hungrier and cattier than usual, but other girls more timid if they think you're claimed because who wants to get a beatdown in the locker room?

"What's good for the goose.....you don't get my sole attention until/unless I get YOUR full attention, babe."

Try hyping yourself up like this before you go to the club. Then come back and let us know if that worked out for you. Preferably before rick dugan sees this thread and calls you a little girl lol.

@Call.Me.Ishmael: "More importantly, there are ways of making your point and continuing to have fun with the that dancer (probably)."

This. I can't remember ever having a dancer stop taking my money, or even lowering her level of service, after telling her, politely, that she doesn't control who I see.

@C.M.I: "If you start getting dances or OTC from a dancer consistently, then you need to set expectations early on. Let them know (politely) that you like and want variety. "

Yep. If I think I'm coming back to her, I'll eventually let her know that I'm a slut, and will get a dance from pretty much anyone who lets me play the way I want to.

You just have to be upfront and set expectations up straight. I had my go to girls in the past but I was no way obligated to only be exclusive with one in the strip club. I tell them up front I am here to see titties and ass not just your titties and ass. If I build a vibe with one stripper it does not mean I am locked down to only one. It is all part of the game but you have to be firm with them or you will be walked on. Never feel like you obligated to a girl in the club. Also, all she is thinking about is the money you are spending on another that should go to her. Stick to your guns and you will be ok. Be a man about it and it can work to your advantage. The main girl should be giving you intel in the other girls so you are now way obligated. I had a main girl in some clubs here in Atlanta and when she want at the club I would test her and she would tell me who is down like we were. Hell when we all were together at the club we all were rolling in VIP and they both got done lol

"This. I can't remember ever having a dancer stop taking my money, or even lowering her level of service, after telling her, politely, that she doesn't control who I see."

Lucky you lol. I had to drop one because she was pissed off that I liked banging another dancer more than her. If you're wondering how she knew, let's just say threesomes can be fun but also deadly to self esteem. Then another threatened to change our status quo if I didn't stop seeing another dancer who she thought was too slutty.

Ok, so this could go on for a while but money can't fix everything once dancers decide to stop treating everything with you like a transaction. On a related note I'm thinking about clearing the decks around the end of the year, but not before Christmas. Complacency has turned what used to be fun into a chore.

Icee that all depends on the context, you insist that strippers can only like people for their money, that they can never genuinely like someone they met as a client, at the same time, you also claim strippers genuinely like you, while also claiming to do absurd things like tipping thousands of dollars on the stage, dating a stripper and paying for her education and parents living expenses (while insisting that she genuinely liked you even though you were spending and giving so much). It’s a very odd dichotomy, the implication seems to be that strippers only like money, not their clients, unless its you, then even if you tip thousands on stage, they liked you for you, not the money?

^ You're still tedious.

I've had dancers break things off (figuratively...) when we couldn't get on the same page regarding what we each wanted. I've also had to put distance between myself and a couple of dancers who said they understood what I wanted, but really didn't.

The goal, though, is to be straightforward while also being respectful. If you can pull that off then (usually) you can part ways without a lot of drama. If you're a club regular, then this makes being in the club afterwards easier.

It’s all just stripper shit. She’s trying whatever she thinks will work to get your money. The inevitable question with any long term contractor is the same: who is in charge here? It’s up to you as the customer to set the terms that you are comfortable with.

@wallanon: "Lucky you lol. I had to drop one because she was pissed off that I liked banging another dancer more than her."

Ah, but that was you dumping her. Would she have continued taking your money if you hadn't?

90% of this, if not more, is on you.

As I often post, strip-clubs are bizarro-world and often operate differently than the real-world – as a strip-club-custy one needs to know how to say “no” and be comfortable saying-it – some of these girls will get away w/ as much as the custy lets them get away with and if you don’t set the boundaries they’ll set them for you, o/w take you for a dweeb they can control/manipulate.

Also – as a custy if you don’t set boundaries, this will often cause drama among the girls – some of these girls get territorial (some custies as well) - if there are other dancers you wanna get with but don’t, or think you can’t, b/c of the regular-dancer you get with, then that is on you (the girl is just looking out for her best intere$t) - also it's kinda an "unwritten rule" that dancers will not mess-with/approach custies that are known to be the regular of 'X' dancer; so it's up to you to overcome that unwritten-rule b/c o/w this will cause drama in the club among-the-dancers.

If this is an issue, then you need to come up with a plan ahead of time b/f you get to the club of how to handle this vs trying to do so on the spot if you’re uncomfortable doing-it – my go-to is to tell them something like “I don’t’ like getting dances w/ the same girls every time I come to the club”; or something like that – dancers know that most custies like to “play the field” but some dancers will try to put the custy on the spot or prevent him from doing so b/c it affects her bottom-line.

The more you let this go-on the worse it usually gets – some PLs are so afraid of “offending a dancer they know” that they opt for avoiding a club they like and hit other clubs.

If you dislike a dancer, you stop getting dances with her. But, if the other dancers at the club are going to support or be intimidated by her claim of ownership of you, only so much you can do about that. Usually they just won´t come over to you, and may avoid or give you the brush off if you go over to them. If they say why they´re not giving you a dance (they usually won´t), you can tell them you don´t consider youŕself owned by any dancer. Other than than, find a new club, try escorts or sugaring, or be the bitch´s bitch.

^ No. Also don't do this.

Letting yourself be cock-blocked by a single dancer to the degree that you have to abandon an entire club is silly and more than a bit spineless.

Ultimately, another dancer in the club will quickly and happily take your money if you offer it. Maybe not a dancer that's good friends with the one that's pissed at you, but one of the many others. It won't be hard work.

I mean, it's one pissed off dancer, not John Wick.

"Ultimately, another dancer in the club will quickly and happily take your money if you offer it."

And when others see it, the rest will likely follow in relatively short order.

"Ah, but that was you dumping her. Would she have continued taking your money if you hadn't?"

Probably. If I were paying her. That one got complicated. Nevermind. Bad example lol...

What you control: How you behave and react, including how much you let a bit of whininess from a girl in her underwear impact you.

What you do not control: How she behaves and reacts, including whatever she says about you in the DR.

IMO you need to be less concerned with losing a CF and instead let her be concerned about losing your money. That starts with emotional control and perspective. Don't let silly drama mess with your head. A calm and firm demeanor goes a long way in managing your strip club experiences.

As GMD and others have said, most girls will come around pretty quick when you put a stop to this. But even if it means losing a CF here and there, so be it. Same if your experience gets derailed for the night because a former CF is trashing you in the DR. Any result is preferable to allowing a single girl to take charge of your SC experiences.

Btw no girl has had the audacity to try this crap on me in a very long time. I guess they innately sense that I would never put up with it. I'm not trying to brag here, but rather just making the point that you might think about what kind of vibe you're giving off that emboldens them to play these games. Just something to think about.

As others have said, you have to decide what you want and make that clear.

There is a decent chance that a stripper will do more for a customer who she feels is loyal to her. It might be small things, maybe she'll drop the person she's with to accommodate you or continue to offer you a lower price when she charges others more, or do OTC, or any number of things that she limits to a smaller group of customers. By spreading the love, you may loose out on that. I know I've been favored by a number of strippers for exactly this reason. You have to watch out on this though, it's just as likely if not moreso that she'll mistake it for weakness and do the opposite. Just keep you on the hook as easy money, doing the bare minimum.

There is a very small chance a stripper will stop seeing you all together because you see other strippers. I've used a similar line to the one GMD mentioned earlier when presented with similar challenges, usually there's a giggle, sometimes a pout and she'll walk away for that day. But I've never once had a girl stop dancing for me or seeing me OTC because I wasn't exclusive to her. It could happen, there's a few dancers I can think of in the club who are absolutely popular enough where I can be replaced just as easily as they can. They aren't the type to demand loyalty, and I wouldn't give it to them, but If they threatened I'd assume they meant it.

But again, it comes down to what you want. The OP sounds like he's seeking variety & is just afraid of drama. If that's the case, "man up" is the advice. And +1 to the "don't be a dick" about it comments. You can be lighthearted about it, as GMD's comment was. Jokingly demanding her loyalty in return or something. Or politely explaining to her that you're not in a strip club seeking a committed relationship, but rather prefer to play the field a bit and letting her know there's no hard feelings if she's not okay with that. But outright aggression and "fuck you, I do what I want" comments aren't likely to be productive and is likely to cause the sort of drama you seem to be looking to avoid.

All great advice. The one girl ultimately outplayed her hand, and ended up being ousted by me, due to her excessive "ownership" of my funds, even once telling me "I actually don't care if you tip other girls...just don't take those funds out of my amount" smh. It's not like I go to a club saying $xxx is for Trixie, $xxx is for Tiffany.

It's your dime you make the rules.