OTC: Going to women vs them coming to you
Muddy
USA
Recently I was hearing a story from a sugar baby on how a guy she met up with had her in Jersey come out to him in Manhattan. She gets there and he ghosts on her, and she then had to take the bus from the Port Authority bus terminal at night (At night not the best place for a girl to be) back home. But the whole thing just sounds crazy, idk it got me thinking like I don't think I've had a girl come to me, I met a girl sometimes agreed spot but never had had deliver herself ala Ubereats style maybe Ubereatspussy. I'm always the one going to get her, I just don't believe in her driving a million miles to come to me, I know I'm paying her but I just still feel like I'm the guy I need to put in the work on the transportation, it's just habit for me.
I like bailing if I have to but if a girl drove an hour or so for me to bail it wouldn't feel right. It's just drilled into me that I'm going to them. What kind of set up do you guys have?
I like bailing if I have to but if a girl drove an hour or so for me to bail it wouldn't feel right. It's just drilled into me that I'm going to them. What kind of set up do you guys have?
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14 comments
In one instance, she came to me from a considerable distance. It became pretty clear pretty quickly that we weren't going to work. I paid for appetizers and drinks, and then I offered her some traveling money for the effort. She was okay with that.
In another instance, I went to her over a considerable distance. It was a pretty blatant bait-and-switch (my fault; I didn't do the proper vetting), and I was having none of it. After she introduced herself I said, "You're not the person on your profile, and I'm going home." That was a lesson learned.
If I go for it again and there's a distance between us, then I might suggest that we meet in the middle someplace. If it's a genuine romantic date, then I'm on board with going to the woman. But, this isn't that, so there can be some compromise.
In the story you relate, if a woman engaging in sex work lite travels a distance to meet a guy she doesn't know at all, then she should absolutely have the means to get away from there. Hopefully, that was a lesson learned.
let me make a suggestion, you should only date homeless women, that way you can drop them off anywhere!
I've only had to cancel twice, once I was able to let her know mid-trip and she turned around. The other time was a genuine emergency and calling her or answering my phone just wasn't in the cards. I offered to pay them both for the missed appointment and they both said okay and we made plans for another day. Neither of them actually took the money though, I saw them within a week or so of the original appointment and gave them double and they both handed half back to me and said something along the lines of, it's cool, shit happens, I understand. I even pushed the one girl who I ghosted to take $100 at least because I felt bad, I knew she drove 45 mins or so and after waiting 15 minutes in my driveway she went around back to the pool for another hour and half, basically wasting her whole afternoon. But she stuck it in my mailbox on the way out.
Because its strippers, the whole concept of her not being as advertised just isn't an issue. That potential problem is a part of why I don't really do escorts or sugar babys.
It's less common with strippers, IMO, where typically neither of us want the other in our home or our neighborhood, at least for the first OTC. I most commonly meet strippers for OTC in SF where we met, where neither of us live. Neutral territory, and lots of fun restaurants, bars, and strip clubs to explore, plus 20 hotels on dayuse.com
Oddly enough, more escorts have wanted me to come to their home than strippers ever did. Never took them up on it; if they weren't in a hotel, or willing to come to *my* hotel, I passed.