Recently I was hearing a story from a sugar baby on how a guy she met up with had her in Jersey come out to him in Manhattan. She gets there and he ghosts on her, and she then had to take the bus from the Port Authority bus terminal at night (At night not the best place for a girl to be) back home. But the whole thing just sounds crazy, idk it got me thinking like I don't think I've had a girl come to me, I met a girl sometimes agreed spot but never had had deliver herself ala Ubereats style maybe Ubereatspussy. I'm always the one going to get her, I just don't believe in her driving a million miles to come to me, I know I'm paying her but I just still feel like I'm the guy I need to put in the work on the transportation, it's just habit for me.
I like bailing if I have to but if a girl drove an hour or so for me to bail it wouldn't feel right. It's just drilled into me that I'm going to them. What kind of set up do you guys have?
I don't have a lot of experience with SA (at least not successful experiences...).
In one instance, she came to me from a considerable distance. It became pretty clear pretty quickly that we weren't going to work. I paid for appetizers and drinks, and then I offered her some traveling money for the effort. She was okay with that.
In another instance, I went to her over a considerable distance. It was a pretty blatant bait-and-switch (my fault; I didn't do the proper vetting), and I was having none of it. After she introduced herself I said, "You're not the person on your profile, and I'm going home." That was a lesson learned.
If I go for it again and there's a distance between us, then I might suggest that we meet in the middle someplace. If it's a genuine romantic date, then I'm on board with going to the woman. But, this isn't that, so there can be some compromise.
In the story you relate, if a woman engaging in sex work lite travels a distance to meet a guy she doesn't know at all, then she should absolutely have the means to get away from there. Hopefully, that was a lesson learned.
I've gotten tired of paying for a hotel room, I guess. So lately I've started having them come to a restaurant that is close to me. Then I can see if she is a catfish. If we get along, then we go back to my place. I do occasionally ask if the girl can host. But most do not want to do that with someone they just met. And I'm not sure I want to go to the home of a girl I do not know.
I also don't have any relevant sugar baby experience, but I have strippers come to me pretty regularly. Usually we'll have met up at the club a few times, then we'll have met somewhere neutral or I'll have picked her up a time or two, after that, they come to me unless they need me to get them because the don't have a car or license. A fair number of the Cuban girls don't have licenses for a variety of reasons. Not always though, a few girls have wanted to drive themselves from the start. I'm actually surprised more strippers don't insist on driving themselves or getting their own ride. There's zero chance I'd get into a strippers car and let her take me to some undisclosed location, it just seems much safer for them to have the additional control of the situation by managing their own transportation.
I've only had to cancel twice, once I was able to let her know mid-trip and she turned around. The other time was a genuine emergency and calling her or answering my phone just wasn't in the cards. I offered to pay them both for the missed appointment and they both said okay and we made plans for another day. Neither of them actually took the money though, I saw them within a week or so of the original appointment and gave them double and they both handed half back to me and said something along the lines of, it's cool, shit happens, I understand. I even pushed the one girl who I ghosted to take $100 at least because I felt bad, I knew she drove 45 mins or so and after waiting 15 minutes in my driveway she went around back to the pool for another hour and half, basically wasting her whole afternoon. But she stuck it in my mailbox on the way out.
Because its strippers, the whole concept of her not being as advertised just isn't an issue. That potential problem is a part of why I don't really do escorts or sugar babys.
For me it's something in between usually. Most of the girls I deal with can't host because they have other people at home (kids, SOs, parents, etc.), but I can't host either for the same reason. So a hotel it is. The only question is whether she can get there herself or if I have to go get her, which breaks about 50/50 for me.
It is common for SBs to travel to SDs. I often discuss with my SBs what works better, sometimes they actually prefer to come to me (they don't say so, but obviously they don't want to be seen with some old dude by their friends and family). But many SDs won't travel, so most SBs expect they might get asked to drive to the SD.
It's less common with strippers, IMO, where typically neither of us want the other in our home or our neighborhood, at least for the first OTC. I most commonly meet strippers for OTC in SF where we met, where neither of us live. Neutral territory, and lots of fun restaurants, bars, and strip clubs to explore, plus 20 hotels on dayuse.com
I've tried that dayuse.com . Not many choices in my city. And the deals aren't that great. But I"m in a tourist area, so the hotels can probably stay full without offering much on this website.
I've never had anyone at my home, not even my ATF. The vast majority of them have been at the local no-tell, a few at an actual overnight hotel or motel. A very few, like my current regular, have invited me into *their* homes.
Oddly enough, more escorts have wanted me to come to their home than strippers ever did. Never took them up on it; if they weren't in a hotel, or willing to come to *my* hotel, I passed.
george, while I have had strippers and SBs at my home, typically that doesn't happen until I've known them for months if not longer. Even if she comes to me, I get a hotel room locally. But it is more convenient if she drives an hour to my city, than me driving an hour to hers
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In one instance, she came to me from a considerable distance. It became pretty clear pretty quickly that we weren't going to work. I paid for appetizers and drinks, and then I offered her some traveling money for the effort. She was okay with that.
In another instance, I went to her over a considerable distance. It was a pretty blatant bait-and-switch (my fault; I didn't do the proper vetting), and I was having none of it. After she introduced herself I said, "You're not the person on your profile, and I'm going home." That was a lesson learned.
If I go for it again and there's a distance between us, then I might suggest that we meet in the middle someplace. If it's a genuine romantic date, then I'm on board with going to the woman. But, this isn't that, so there can be some compromise.
In the story you relate, if a woman engaging in sex work lite travels a distance to meet a guy she doesn't know at all, then she should absolutely have the means to get away from there. Hopefully, that was a lesson learned.
let me make a suggestion, you should only date homeless women, that way you can drop them off anywhere!
I've only had to cancel twice, once I was able to let her know mid-trip and she turned around. The other time was a genuine emergency and calling her or answering my phone just wasn't in the cards. I offered to pay them both for the missed appointment and they both said okay and we made plans for another day. Neither of them actually took the money though, I saw them within a week or so of the original appointment and gave them double and they both handed half back to me and said something along the lines of, it's cool, shit happens, I understand. I even pushed the one girl who I ghosted to take $100 at least because I felt bad, I knew she drove 45 mins or so and after waiting 15 minutes in my driveway she went around back to the pool for another hour and half, basically wasting her whole afternoon. But she stuck it in my mailbox on the way out.
Because its strippers, the whole concept of her not being as advertised just isn't an issue. That potential problem is a part of why I don't really do escorts or sugar babys.
It's less common with strippers, IMO, where typically neither of us want the other in our home or our neighborhood, at least for the first OTC. I most commonly meet strippers for OTC in SF where we met, where neither of us live. Neutral territory, and lots of fun restaurants, bars, and strip clubs to explore, plus 20 hotels on dayuse.com
Oddly enough, more escorts have wanted me to come to their home than strippers ever did. Never took them up on it; if they weren't in a hotel, or willing to come to *my* hotel, I passed.