I just came to drink liquor and tip stage girls. Not sure if that's wrong of me

Nothing wrong with drinking and stage tipping. I do it too sometimes. And it's common.

You should be more assertive saying no. Just tell them you're not interested in them.

Well, that was how it was in old style clubs. Just stage.

Today the girls want dance money.

I have giving them the full per song dance rate and just had them sit and talk. Sometimes more two way touching that way.

SJG

Not my idea of having a good time in a strip club, but I am certainly not going to tell you you're having fun wrong.

Sometimes girls who read sales books (like Tom Hopkins' stuff) think they can make it work in a club (especially the "ask 10 times before you take no for an answer" trope) and it can be annoying. You're tipping the girls and paying for your table by drinking alcohol; knock yourself out.

CP

I see nothing wrong with just drinking and tipping for the scenery, your money your choice.

Honesty is not necessarily the best policy when dealing w/ women, and even-less-so strippers - dancers will put up w/ a lot but it seems what they hate most-of-all is a non-spender and/or what they call "a time waster" - there are certain "unwritten rules" in strip-club bizarro-world; strip-club bizarro-world can often be infested with shark$ so one kinda has to know what to say and what not-to-say and/or how to say things.

If I"m not planning to buy dances or VIP, or just not interested in a particular dancer, I just say something along the lines of "I just wanna chill for a while and watch the stage"; most dancers get the clue - but I never say "I'm not gonna be spending any $$$ tonight" which is how it comes across to many dancers if one says they don't want dances or VIP.

"... Had a girl sit with me for probably 45 minutes off and on. She even danced on me a little bit. You know free roam dancing. I tipped her a $10 so perhaps that did the opposite of deter ..."

Every PL has his M.O. - for me my M.O. is that I'm cognizant that for dancers "time is money" - I'm cognizant when they approach me and invest time w/ me it's b/c they are hoping to make a sale - if I'm not interested in spending $$$ on a dancer I usually let them know within the first 5-minutes (often less than than that) - again, I rarely say "I'm not getting any dances tonight"; nothing wrong w/ saying that but I know that will sometimes cause issues with some of the more bitchy-dancers so again I'll say something along the lines of "I just wanna chill and watch the stage for a while" or something along those lines.

My M.O. is that I feel I'm leading-a-dancer-on by engaging w/ her for an extended period of time to then not spend any $$$ on her.

The girls expect more dough today.

Pick the one you want and make it happen with her, and plan to be waking up with her in the mornings.

SJG

Gimme Shelter [Rolling Stones Cover] - Britny Lobas at The Roost Austin, Tx
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B71GZQYH…

I do that from time to time. I see nothing wrong with it. I usually just try to be friendly but firm and clear about it. I'll say something like, I'm just gonna have a few drinks and watch the show, have a nice day. Maybe I'll substitute in a thanks for stopping by instead.

I suppose it could rub some people the wrong way if you're doing it at a peak time, nursing a drink and barely tipping, holding on to a prime seat. Assuming you're sipping ant tipping at a reasonable clip, fuck em if they don't like it. And I don't know if you gave the girl who hung out with you for 45 minutes a heads up, but I'm with Papi in that I think its generally courtesy to do so. She's an adult and if she chooses to stay after she's been told you're not interested, that's on her. But its reasonable for her to expect some kind sale if she's been there for the better part of an hour and you've actively engaged with her.

Locally, Viet Coffee is good just to space out in, read a book. No alcohol though.

SJG

Gimme Shelter [Rolling Stones Cover] - Britny Lobas at The Roost Austin, Tx
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B71GZQYH…

You didn't do anything wrong Esta. IMHO it's more a function of where you club more than anything. In most places a girl walks into the club $40-60 (and in some places even less) in the hole before dollar one, so if they are getting decent stage tips then at least they can go positive even if they struggle to sell dances. But in NYC they start more like $200 in the hole, so stage tipping often ain't gonna cut it. If they can't sell dances then they don't make any money and may even owe the club at the end of the night - hence the hard sell.

“She's an adult and if she chooses to stay after she's been told you're not interested, that's on her. But its reasonable for her to expect some kind sale if she's been there for the better part of an hour and you've actively engaged with her.”

So this has happened to me several times before. I dancer sits down or even a shot girl and parks at my table. A lot of times the dancer is cool just not my type. I am very straight forward about it saying “hey I’m just not going to VIP or getting dances now,” and I’ve had a dancer say “that’s cool” and they even buy their own drink(s) while sitting with me. I’ve been told a couple different scenarios by dancers:

1. I just started my shift, and I like to have a drink or two to loosen up and I just wanted to sit and chat with someone casually and you looked like a good person to talk to.

2. It’s okay, things are slow right now and if I’m sitting here hanging with you management will leave me alone but if I’m sitting in the corner not talking to any customers I’ll get yelled at.

3. (Weirdest one) a stunning shot girl (hottest girl in the entire club) “I sold my shot quota for the night and I really don’t feel like hustling anymore, nobody is buying anymore shots anyway and I’m stuck here for another 2 hours and I just want to sit and chat with someone.” The is was nerve wracking to have a 9 sitting at your table for an hour and you can’t do anything about it. No lapdance, no VIP and she couldn’t even comprehend what OTC was.

You do you

Follies had a unique circumstance. The club got so crowded that you couldn't move. The fire marshal cracked down and the club was forced to comply with capacity limits. How to balance the number of customers with the number of dancers?

When you add in the number of customers that were there just gawking and not spending money it was unfair to the guys waiting in line outside and unfair to the dancers that were trying to make money. Add the gawkers that were staring at the couple doing private dances. This all added up to a resentment of guys just taking up space.

Ain't no such thing as having fun wrong . You can enjoy a strip club however way you want.

If you walk into a bar you are expected to buy drinks. There is no expectation to buy top-shelf liquor instead of draft beer.

If you walk into a strip club, you are expected to buy drinks and tip dancers. There is no reasonable expectation to buy table dances, lap dances, or more.

However, dancers are allowed to try and change your mind. As professionals, though, they should be able to take "no" for an answer and move on.

It's fine.

I told this girl I'm just here to watch the stage and tip. Not feeling dances right now. One girl said ok and stayed. Another girl kept trying to change my mind. And I didnt want to bark on her but she seemed to refuse to understand what I was saying

Since you let them know your intentions up front then you don't need to do anything else. Just do what you want. And if you want them to leave, either ignore and don't engage with them as much as possible. And if you weren't at the stage, go sit at it and focus on the dancer onstage and completely ignore anyone else.

Has anyone ever straight up told a girl that you're not attracted to them? Seems mean, but a lot of dancers dont seem to get the hint. I've tried the whole "I'm gonna chill and drink for now" thing. Many dont seem to get it.

I did that once. She insulted me loudly and walked away. Nobody approached me for an hour afterwards. But that was early in the night. So as more strippers thing patrones came in, I guess people forgot who I was and approached me hour later

@shailynn in that situation you could have geared her up to want to see you otc non sexual and eventually lead it to a Roma endeavor. Or just a friends with benefits thing.

Romantic*

not surprised, Estafador. I guess I'll have to keep lying to save these girls egos.

===> "She insulted me loudly and walked away. Nobody approached me for an hour afterwards."

Traffic control is an important part of optimizing your club experience. In clubs with very aggressive girls, if you don't control your own space, others will control it for you.

Aggressive girls can smell weakness, like defensive body language or trying to avoid eye contact, and some will try to lean on you when they think that they can. IME the easiest way to dismiss a girl when she asks "wanna dance?" is with a relaxed demeanor, a smile, direct eye contact and a firm "No but thank you." Even most aggressive girls will take the hint and look for something more promising, but for the ones who keep pursuing it, something as simple as "Look I'm not buying anything right now" almost always gets the job done.

Now when all else fails, yes, I'll tell a girl that she's just not my cup of tea, but I haven't had to do that in years. And if anything I say to her causes other girls to avoid me for a while then I'm perfectly fine with that - such is life. 😊

The problem is that some guys can't seem to easily pull this off, for whatever reason. So instead they end up sitting there for way too long enduring an endless hustle until they finally can't take it any more and then it becomes a dramatic moment. Each person's experiences and interpersonal skills are different I suppose. I happen to be very relaxed in strip clubs, which makes all of this much easier I guess - again IDk.

@estadafor - trust me I tried! Problem was it was a club that I’m in usually 2 to 3 times a year max in a town I rarely get to, so it was all or nothing that night, typically with girls like that when I return 6 months later, she’s no longer working there.

There’s nothing wrong with what you did - or tried to do.

In my view, different clubs have different levels of pressure to sell dances. Some clubs are more chill, and you can hang out, tip and enjoy the stage show. Other clubs can inspire dancers to be pushy about selling dances.

If I hit a club, and get the “Wanna dance?” question several times before I can find a seat and a beer, I know it’s not my type of place. I think it’s best to allow a customer time to check out the club before hitting them with dance requests.

I hate to use this characterization - but I feel like a bait fish swimming into a tank of barracuda. It’s like a feeding frenzy for a piece of chum! In those cases, the comfort of the bait is not important. In the case of a customer, it is very important.

You paid an entrance fee. Even if yoi didn’t, you dont need to tip any girls or buy any drinks. Strip club drinks are ripoff prices and poor quality. Why would you tip any girl? If you like her get a dance or just keep staring. I never buy any drinks or tip anybody , just talk to and get dances the ones i like.

The problem here is that you went to the wrong club. Or rather, you went to the wrong club to just hang out.

Dancers pressure you when they think you can be pressured. You have to say no confidently. Just say you're just enjoying the stage show tonight and will see her when she's oh. You don't have to be rude or anything just assertive and confident.

===> "The problem here is that you went to the wrong club. Or rather, you went to the wrong club to just hang out."

IDK. I really don't think that he did <strong>anything</strong> wrong. He was buying alcohol and tipping girls that he liked, which meets any strip club minimum expectation that I've ever encountered.

My only observation - still not calling it "wrong" because he is who he is - is that he must have been giving off a vibe that made them feel emboldened to keep harassing him. I suspect that there are a lot of guys on here who they probably would have left alone after one or two brief tries.

Speaking for myself, there is no universe in which I would let a few girls in their underwear (blatantly stole this line from 25 lol) dictate whether I should be in the club or how I should spend my money. It may be their workplace, but it's <strong>my</strong> playground. 😉

As long as you were up front about your intentions, I see no problem with what you wanted to do.

As shadowcat points out, if the club was busy, and your presence prevented another PL from coming in and spending, that could be an issue. But then it would be up to the <em>club</em> to make that known to you; it's not your responsibility to regulate their business.

@Papi_Chulo: "Honesty is not necessarily the best policy when dealing w/ women, and even-less-so strippers"

I don't know about that. It's worked wonders for me over the years I doubt I'd have stayed married for this long without it, and I doubt my ATF would have ended up as my ATF if I hadn't been. Have I lost some opportunities because of my honestly? Probably. Don't care. I see no reason to lie just to get some pussy when it's so easy to get by telling the truth.

@rickdugun is that"vibe" a good thing or a bad thing? Cuz it sounds a bit sus

Sometimes these popping clubs be looking for jumping vibes not chill atmospheres

I could still have fun doing that. It’s not that I dont get dances or VIP it’s just I do t want to pay for it. Some clubs I’m just checking out, and leaving after doing nothing while sometimes kind of feels anticlimactic, it feels good on the wallet driving home

Especially at what $30 dances becoming the norm, even $40 in some places. No man you gotta really think about these things hard now

You don't have to get dances if there's not a girl you really want dances from.

"I thought I was being decent by letting girls know that approach me all I was doing one night was just coming to drink and tip stage dancers."

I think that you're being a little too honest by revealing your true intentions. The girls don't need to know why you came to the club or what you plan to do at the club.

You can just politely decline a dance with a "no thank you." You can also say that you promised getting a dance from another dancer and are waiting for her to return. Also, later in the evening you can say that you already had all your dances and are now just relaxing.

GEorge how are you getting so much pussy like you said its so easy.


14 Hours Ago
One of them loved me. Several like the fact that I can take no for an answer and still spend money. Some hate the fact that I've ever even asked anyone for sex. One invites me to her house for our meetups and lets me stick around after we're done. Sometimes she even feeds me.

Can you share more about the story. What happened in the meetups at her house? Was it just naked lapsdances at her house or actual sex? Thats an insane story man!

Why do people keep saying tip the girls? Theres no obligation to tip, and honestly some of the girls on stage are gross, you are not supposed to tip just cuz you feel obligated to, you are encouraging these clubs to hire subpar dancers and creating a situation where clubs can have 30+ dancers of which only 3 are attractive worth getting dances from and have huge wait times. Even if they are attractive why tip why not get a dance. Tip is giving free money, you can do it but it should be totally optional not some sort fo moral obligation. Same for tipping after dances. You shouldn’t ever buy any drinks at a club, cause you’re supporting a ripoff. Food at clubs seems more fairly priced, and in line with other restaurants.

I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Be polite and give a “no thank you”. I don’t control what anyone says or how they react but, as long as I’m polite, the reaction is their issue, not mine. Generally the shorter and simpler response is the best when you don’t want to interact with someone they way they want you too.

You owe others courtesy and respect. You don’t owe them a longer explanation.

@BTE: "GEorge how are you getting so much pussy like you said its so easy."

I think it's probably my coke bottle dick, 8 inch tongue, and thousands of dollars I have to throw at the problem. Hard for a girl to resist those.

DBAP. Be direct and honest without being an asshole. If they still don’t get the message, rinse and repeat until they do. I’m surprised at the legs this thread had. Lots of approaches. None are really wrong but they are mostly all variations on the same theme. Control your own experience as much as possible. Or leave.

DBAP?