How do I politely tell dancers say no?
Not all clubs are the same. But many in San Francisco are very tough to relax. Last time I went to New Century, the girls wanted like 800. Do any of you really spend that kind of money? Let’s admit it, there’s many better things to spend that on. I ended up doing a 40 dollar dance but it went by so fast that I felt like I flushed the money down the toilet. It was not fun.
Sometimes at other clubs, girl don’t accept no very easily. They might ask you if you’re gay. One time a girl pinched me hard in the nipples and I slapped her hand away and she called me a fat bitch. Other times when you say maybe later they say why later? Why not now? Don’t waste my time!
I hate it when dancers treat you like this. You see this is why I don’t understand why dancers are like this. You can’t behave like this at other jobs. Strip clubs should be no different. I feel like some dancers don’t read body language well. You tell them no and they act like you’re gonna change your mind. No means no. Maybe later really does me maybe later. There’s other dancers to choose from. And you should just find a guy more interested.
Sometimes at other clubs, girl don’t accept no very easily. They might ask you if you’re gay. One time a girl pinched me hard in the nipples and I slapped her hand away and she called me a fat bitch. Other times when you say maybe later they say why later? Why not now? Don’t waste my time!
I hate it when dancers treat you like this. You see this is why I don’t understand why dancers are like this. You can’t behave like this at other jobs. Strip clubs should be no different. I feel like some dancers don’t read body language well. You tell them no and they act like you’re gonna change your mind. No means no. Maybe later really does me maybe later. There’s other dancers to choose from. And you should just find a guy more interested.
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If you can't afford the prices of the club you are at find a cheaper club. If you can't afford even the cheaper clubs this isn't the right hobby for you. Strip clubs are a very expensive hobby, especially in a high dollar city like San Francisco. If your budget can't handle it and you can't find a way to limit your spending to fit within your budget then strip clubs aren't the hobby for you.
If you don't have the balls to tell a dancer no this isn't the right hobby for you. I always start off polite with the first refusal, if she doesn't take that refusal and go away I will be firmer with the second refusal. If she still won't go away after two refusal I give up on any type of politeness and say whatever it takes to get the point across. If you can't stick to your guns and tell a stripper no when you are not interested then strip clubs aren't the hobby for you.
"You can’t behave like this at other jobs. Strip clubs should be no different." Strip clubs are very different from other jobs, if you can't understand this then strip clubs aren't the right hobby for you.
In your other post you said "I get the sense that most strippers don't want to help you. They just say that you SHOULD go to the club and spend your hard earned money. So that's not helpful." If you can't understand that strippers aren't there to help you and only want to take your money than strip clubs aren't the hobby for you.
For me, a simple "No but thank you" with a little direct eye contact is effective 99.5% of the time. The other .5% is handled with a bit more directness and less smiling. As the Italians say - Finito.
As mentioned this hobby is not cheap. I've never been to a club and paid $40 for a 3 min dance probably never will, that's just nuts
On the other hand I dropped close to 800 on three girls today I'll be kicking myself in the ass for spending that much at least until next week when I'll likely repeat.
BGL don't let strippers push you around and don't spend what you can't afford.
At other jobs, you don’t go in and loiter while the workers wait to see if you are going to actually patronize the business, at other jobs the beautiful workers don’t sit in your lap, or entertain you for free while you ponder contributing to their paychecks and their bills or just put them in a position where they are required to do their jobs for free.
There aren’t other jobs like this so don’t expect things to go like you are at some other job. 🤷🏼♀️
Only a small subset of guys who go to strip clubs probably ever turn it into a regular hobby. I went when I was 22, 37 and 52. It wasn't until my third trip at 52 that I got hooked on it and became a regular customer.
If a dancer starts chatting with me and I know I'm not going to buy dances, I'll say something like "I know you're working and I don't want to waste your time. I'm not looking to get any dances right now. I just want to relax on my own for a while." The vast majority of dancers will thank me and move on. On occasion, I get some snottiness, but they still move on (so I don't care).
Occasionally, I'll encounter an aggressive dancer who won't take 'no' for an answer. Eventually, I'll say firmly (but not loudly) "It ain't gonna happen. You need to go." Once they realize that they won't see the inside of your wallet, they'll move to the next customer.
"You can’t behave like this at other jobs. Strip clubs should be no different."
Strip clubs are many things, but they are not typical work environments. Whatever that is. People working a construction site behave a lot differently than people working at a bank. Strip clubs each have their own personalities. Some are more aggressive, while others are more laid back. You need to find a club that's more laid back.
why does anything she says bother you?
"You can’t behave like this at other jobs." this is a big reason many don't have other jobs and must rub up against pathetic losers for money.
The best way to tell a girl “no” is to start acting really creepy so she just goes away. Read some of the posts by Mr. OSU and Mr. Dugan and then act like that.
You’re welcome!
Welcome to the Call of the Wild. Strip clubs aren't like other places, which is precisely what makes them so much fun. There is nobody there who is going to protect your wallet or your delicate sensitivities. Girls are getting naked and sometimes much more for money and they don't get paid if guys don't spend, so they often hustle.
So that leaves you with the following options: (1) man up and learn how to cope in that kind of environment; (2) let them keep treating you like a fat bitch (your words); or (3) stay out of the clubs.
"Maybe later" when you really mean "never in a million years" is bad. Making excuses about not having money is also bad. Saying you're waiting for someone else is okay, but only if you actually are. Otherwise, it falls into the making excuses category.
Strip clubs are not for the thin skinned or weak minded.
@OP
Listen man, you need to understand the dynamics at play. Strip Clubs are the most expensive way to receive female attention. I've spent about $9,000/year on PFP in California. If I crunch the numbers, I'd have probably spent $9,000/year dating women and probably would have gotten more sex that way...all be it mostly by women that were much older and less attractive.
Now, if you're overweight (you're not alone) and feel the usual dating avenue isn't going to meet your needs...and PFP is within your wheel-house morally...then you need to realize there are 4 options:
1) Strip Clubs. This is the most expensive option, but allows you to spend more time "hanging out" at the club, drinking, chatting with different girls, etc.. But, this is $300-$400 a night...probably more in SF. That will likely limit you to a couple visits a month.
2) Massage Parlors. This is usually your second most expensive option and limits you to primarily asian and latino entertainment. It's far cheaper than a strip club, but it has a few disadvantages. You're generally stuck with whichever girl you get...and services vary a great deal from one place to another and one girl to another. The nice part is you usually can get a "bad massage" prior to any extra services. You're not likely to get a massage by a stripper or escort. Granted, the better the massage, the more likely she isn't providing extra services. These places are common in California more so than any other State I've found. If it doesn't have the picture of a foot in the window and/or it's open late (past 7PM)...you're likely to get penis interaction. The bill? Generally $45 (nothing extra) to $220 depending on how hot she is and what you want in addition to the massage.
3) Escorts. A much harder find now that Craigslist and Backpage are gutted, but if you can find them and/or set up some OTC arrangement with a stripper...you're looking at $70-$270...but most of the time around $100 to $120. The advantage here is you're getting exactly what you want...no chance that an escort is going to say, "I don't provide extras." The downside is...you get about 30-45 minutes of fun time...because she has a whole line of dudes waiting for their turns.
4) Street Hookers. I've never went this route. I'm sure there's multiple places in the Bay Area where you can pick up a girl in a car and take her somewhere. This is generally your most dangerous option in terms of safety. It also isn't a huge savings because you're essentially paying less than you would for an escort, but adding on the cost of a motel if you're taking her to one. Otherwise, you're limited to what you can do in a car. If you only have $50 and are sure to wear a condom and bring some sanitizer with you...this is generally the only option available.
Given your post, I'd suggest trying massage parlors and see if you like that route better. It's far cheaper, in most cases, than a strip club. The next best option is to try different strip clubs and see if you can set up OTC activities with a dancer you like. She then becomes essentially an escort and the cost goes down a little (depending again, on whether you need to pay for a hotel/motel.
Are there frustrations in a strip club? Absolutely. Hustles on top of hustles. Once you go enough times, you become a bit jaded and less tolerant of the hustles. Whether it's hard selling shooters or pushing drink minimums for dancers onto customers or just really aggressive dancers that see you as a quick ticket to them making a profit that night. Once you get jaded enough by it, you don't feel as bad about holding your ground. But, it's a double edged sword. One minute you're going to be upset about too much pressure from a dancer, the next minute you're going to be pissed off that none of the dancers come near you.
Well to be completely accurate Leonard, the only person who actually called him a bitch was the dancer who gave one of his man titties a twist. But if the shoe fits and all.
Look, strip clubs can be a tough environment. Those girls come in every night in the hole before they make dollar one. Then they have to earn their money by getting naked and rubbing on guys while fending off unwanted fingers in their asses, dicks randomly pulled out and the other shit that commonly occurs. Now add to all of this the fact that many of these girls didn't exactly grow up in Mr. Roger's Neighborhood to begin with and what you get is a place where shit can get real in a hurry.
I'm really not trying to be a complete jerk, but if stuff like this is happening to him that often then he's clearly throwing off weak prey vibes and, at the very least, may need to choose his clubs more carefully. But better still for him would be to think about why he's such an easy target and make changes. IMHO he also should reframe his expectations by understanding where he is and what he's dealing with instead of wallowing in whiny self-entitlement.
Stripper: Hi baby. Want a dance?
PL: I would love a dance!
Stripper: Thank you honey. You are sweet.
PL: Your tits are bigger than my mom’s! Do you shave your bush? My mom doesn’t, and the hairs get in my teeth.
Stripper: Thanks baby. I’m very smooth!
PL: I don’t have any money. My allowance is $12 and mom gives me my allowance on Sunday (if I’m a good boy).
If that doesn’t keep them away - let me know what club it is - as those girls sound like fun!
Otherwise, sit with your legs crossed and don't let a dancer sit on your lap unless you want them to.
It is less likely the dancers will get insulting if they see you stage tipping or getting dances. It is a justified agitation for them if you are just enjoying a free show.
1. NCT is a high hustle den of ROBs. Dayshift at the alcohol clubs would normally be your place, but given limited hours (dayshifts still aren't open at Hustler or Gold Club, are they?), clubs like Condor and CrazyHorse tend to be a little lower pressure for nightshift. Hell, even Hustler or Gold Club at the **beginning** of the shift. NCT may well be literally the worst place to go.
2. "No thanks". I don't get into discussions with dancers, give excuses, or answer questions, unless it's being offered as friendly discussion rather than continued hustle or a humiliation tactic.
3. Rule 1: Don't be an asshole. Rule 2: Don't be a little bitch. https://tuscl.net/article.php?id=49689
What you put up with is how you'll be treated.
Generally something along the lines of "hey, would you mind pinching my nipples real hard?"