tuscl

Is it me?

RustyLlewellyn
Tagline? Um ... You're it?
Saturday, February 12, 2022 5:29 AM
This could be lengthy, so apologies in advance. At the outset, let me confess that I struggle with mental illness, with particular regard to self-esteem. (That is, I don't have any.) I won't turn y'all into my therapist or anything, but it's an important detail here. (And yes, I'm open about it. If it helps someone understand me, or someone come to grips with their own struggles, great!) But please, as open as I am about it, it's a sensitive issue for me, so ... maybe no trolling on this one? I'd appreciate it. Okay. I've been to (and been a regular at) SCs across this great country, from nice places in the South to grungy places in the Midwest to high end clubs here in the City of Angels. And never has any dancer even hinted at the prospect of "extras". Not once. So ... Is it me? I know I'm not much to look at (see above self-esteem issues), so is that it? Do I not know how to broach the subject and invite those conversations? Am I going at the wrong time, or to the wrong clubs? Do I give off the wrong vibe (and, if so, how do I present the right vibe)? Ladies, how do you read a customer and know he's open to suggestion? I don't know if knowing an answer will change my behavior, but I would prefer to know why, if that makes sense. Thanks.

53 comments

  • mike710
    •
    2 years ago
    Maybe it is you and maybe it isn't. I have lived in a city where the average customer is expected to sit on their hands during dances, there is even a 6' law on the books. However, as I became more of a regular, the trust level went up and I had some adventures in and out of the clubs despite local laws. I travel a lot and have found that, the more you act like you've been in the situation before, the more comfortable the dancers are, and you get offered extras. If you act nervous, they may thing you are wearing a wire or something. So, bottom line, some level of personal confidence helps make dancers open up a bit more. I think that is a general life trick. I have worked in hospitals for a very long time and always found that if you act like you know where you are going, nobody stops to question you. Act like you've been in the situation and I think you will have better luck.
  • ATACdawg
    •
    2 years ago
    I wouldn't sweat it. By my count, I've had dances from about 75 women over the years and had extra offers from only three, all in the same Canadian club. Hope this helps you!
  • shadowcat
    •
    2 years ago
    Maybe leave your girl friend at home. RustyLlewellyn January 29, 2022 I'm taking the GF to Vegas in a few weeks, and I'd love to find a club where some dancers would show us a good time (meant literally and possibly euphemistically, depending on how into it the GF would find herself). Suggestions for a SC that's couple-friendly?
  • RustyLlewellyn
    •
    2 years ago
    ^Funny you should say that... Last time we went to an SC together, *she* was offered extras! (She accepted, but told me she wasn’t impressed. Truth? Polite fiction to salvage my ego? Dunno.)
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    2 years ago
    Most likely it’s the clubs you are hitting – extras-clubs/cities are the exception not the norm. Even w/ clubs “that have extras”; not all extras-clubs are the same – some are more-subtle about-it; and a few are kinda brothels. Thru my years on TUSCL, there have been many comments of guys that had clubbed for years and didn’t know about extras or thought they couldn’t be had. The easiest way is to go to certain clubs/areas – e.g. Detroit-suburbs and South Florida are pretty-much sure things. In clubs/areas where it’s more subtle; sometimes one has to be the one to ask and be proactive about it. If you really wanna experience extras, then take a trip to where they are pretty-much a sure thing; and this is where TUSCL comes in w.r.t. finding the right clubs – once you get some experience under your belt you’ll be able to do better in the extras-department – but even then, strip-clubbing is not an exact science and it’s often more of an art than a science that one learns w/ time and IMO especially thru TUSCL since there are a good # of guys on here w/ a lot of SCing experience. It rarely has to do w/ the custy – as a custy one’s success is usually linearly-proportional to one’s ability and willingness to spend – that is by far the #1 thing almost all dancers look for - you just need to zero-in on the right-clubs via some TUSCL research and read some reviews to get familiarized w/ those clubs.
  • misterorange
    •
    2 years ago
    I would say 100% NOT you. If you've established yourself as a regular and it still ain't happening, it's probably just not an extras place. Cops don't spend weeks to months infiltrating every back woods strip club for a BJ bust. Plus most undercover cops are arrogant pricks. If you're in a legit extras club and you come off as nervous or shy, trust me, there are girls who will make it their mission to walk you down the path of empty wallets. (As long as you're polite and respectful to them, which it seems you are.) And forget about your looks. If that was a factor, most of these clubs would go out of business. I say spend some time reading reviews for your area. Look for the small privately owned dive joints where extras are discussed or implied in the reviews. Avoid the high-end glitzy spots because while extras may be available, they will come at a very high price. And the fast-paced environment might cause girls to target what they perceive to be quick, easy money rather than spend a little time sort of helping you along at first.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    Op. So you're self conscious about hookers not propositioning you but have the confidence to find a girlfriend and take her go strip clubs looking for a 3some and let her be with a hooker.... which is very rare.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    But I agree with those posting hookers aren't the norm jn most clubs. So it could just be the clubs. Could be the vibe you give off. I've been propositioned a lot. I don't really think of it as anything to be happy about. Uts not what I'm into.
  • Cashman1234
    •
    2 years ago
    I don’t think it’s you, unless your low self esteem makes you seem creepy in a club. In my view, there are several items necessary for extras to be had. You must research to determine if extras are common in the club. You must ask before going for a dance. You must have a relaxed regular guy vibe - not a stiff cop type of vibe. If you go to a club that is known to allow extras, then you chat with a dancer before you go to get dances, to learn if she will do extras with you. You also get prices before going to the back room. Remember, if you are paying for dances, then the dancer is making money. Why would she offer up extras - unless she’s in a bad economic situation? Asking politely about extras won’t offend the dancer.
  • Mate27
    •
    2 years ago
    Maybe you should visit a bathhouse. You may find better luck and then change your name to RustyTrombone!
  • doctorevil
    •
    2 years ago
    “You must have a relaxed regular guy vibe - not a stiff cop type of vibe.” Not sure I agree with this one. I don’t know how many times I’ve been asked if I’m a cop. My response is always the same: “Why? Do I look like a cop? And their response is always the same too: “Yes.” And every time I’ve had this discussion, I’ve been getting my dick sucked 10 minutes later. The biggest factor, besides have the money to spend, which isn’t necessarily a lot, is having the balls to ask for extras. Even most extras girls won’t ask you first. You have to bring it up. When you do, you may be surprised at how many girls are down for it, even at supposedly “clean” clubs. But you also have to be prepared for “no”. Even in some of the most extras heavy clubs I have been to, their are non-extrasolar girls.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    When you solicit jn a club. Word gets around. It may lead to a hooker seeking you out or to you getting a bad reputation there. Trying to solicit prostitution jn a club will be considered creepy regardless of how you so it.
  • RustyLlewellyn
    •
    2 years ago
    Thank you all, gentlemen. Honestly, I'm feeling quite a lot better about myself; thinking it isn't something *wrong* with me.
  • DeclineToState
    •
    2 years ago
    Agree with Papi here, that it's likely the clubs you're hitting and that extras clubs are not the norm. Your post says you're in LA and hitting the high end clubs there. If the high end clubs you're talking are 4Play and similar, those aren't extras clubs. If you hit BELAX then you'll have some extras opportunities and it's hit and miss whether you'll be offered versus need to ask. COI is a whole different story and if you wanna get asked, then multiple COI clubs are the ones to hit - I've only been to SRCOI, and at that only a few times (not an extras seeker and don't inquire), but the offer rate there is 50+% and likely higher at other COI clubs. With you being in LA, you can also head 100 miles south to TJ and eliminate the line of inquiry.
  • rdig
    •
    2 years ago
    You have to show initiative and bring up the subject. A pretty good number will be proactive but some won't. Just ask: the vast majority of them are up for it. And if they aren't, it's not like they aren't getting asked all the time by others. Very unlikely you are going to offend them by asking. Have fun! rdig (the prophet of doom)
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    2 years ago
    I'd suggest, if you're going to ask for extras, you bring it up as a hypothetical first. Ask if customers offer them money to hook up outside the club, and do they feel like that's dis. If they say yes, they'll probably feel dissed if you ask them for extras. As far as how many strippers are up for extras, I'd say it's by club. Either a minority are up for it or almost all are up for it. Once there are enough strippers in a club that are up for extras, most of the ones who are not will go to a different club. "Up for it" is not cut and dried either, they're more likely to be up for it if you're under 40, their type, and are ready to drop several grand. Also common that you have to be a stripper's ITC regular for a while, if you're wanting OTC, as OTC has safety issues.
  • EndlessSummer
    •
    2 years ago
    Listen to these guys... it's NOT you!! In all my years, I've never once offered extras. They know of what they speak 😊🔆😘
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    There is no such thing as mental illness, are there are are people who have survived injustice with no redress. SJG
  • Tetradon
    •
    2 years ago
    As someone else who's suffered from mental illness (ignore SJG, he's a kook in denial), my first extras in an SC and one of my first encounters with women was in Niagara Falls in a 100% extras club. "Extras clubs" range from half the girls to all the girls. Below that you can't call it an extras club, more like a club where occasional extras happen. Read reviews and don't be afraid to ask. I've heard "no" many times, in which case you don't push, you just move on. If you're too nervous, she might think you're a cop (mistakenly, but still). Have a drink or two. I don't know how to ask about extras for a girlfriend, though a civvie date of mine went to a club once (not with me) and said a dancer grabbed my date's finger and inserted it into her (dancer's) vagina. Oh, and if you have self-esteem issues, see a psychologist or psychiatrist. And don't partake of too many extras, it can be an expensive habit. I've taken a break because of that, and wanting to devote my masculine energy to civvies.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    People think they are or were mentally ill, but this does not make it so. [view link] SJG
  • Tetradon
    •
    2 years ago
    "When we talk about anosognosia in mental illness, we mean that someone is unaware of their own mental health condition or that they can’t perceive their condition accurately. Anosognosia is a common symptom of certain mental illnesses, perhaps the most difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it." [view link].
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    That still does not mean that there is such a thing as mental illness, any more than it means that there is such a thing as evil spirits. SJG
  • Tetradon
    •
    2 years ago
    ^ Right, because a kook on a titty bar message board without any medical credentials says so.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    That people learn about mental illness in schools is not the remedy, it is the locus of the problem. My views are consistent with Michel Foucault and R. D. Laing. SJG
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    But you quote a guy who made a career off mental illness. Who says there's no covid lulz
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    There is no such thing as Long COVID. Lots of money is made from the idea of Mental Illness, and from the sham of Psychotherapy. SJG
  • RustyLlewellyn
    •
    2 years ago
    Respectfully, Mr. San Jose, if you feel the need to deny my existence, and the 35 years of therapy, medications, and other treatments I've worked with, then I feel no need to continue to acknowledge yours. Best of luck on all your endeavors. *ignore*
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    Rusty, I am sorry to hear that they have convinced you of that, and then put your through years of nonsense and abuse. The reason the concept of mental illness exists is simply to delegitimate people who are not breaking any law. The whole thing is Josef Mengele territory. And those drugs and treatments should not even exist. A quite moderate work: [view link] SJG
  • 8TM
    •
    2 years ago
    Extras clubs are not nearly as common at this site makes it look. The population of this site is extremely slanted toward men who live in a handful of extras hotspots. Now if you were to go to, say, Diamond Dolls in South Florida and NOT get offered extras, that would be quite an accomplishment.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    ^^^^^ "extremely slanted toward men who live in a handful of extras hotspots" No shit? Next you will probably be saying that we are all perverts. :) :) :) SJG OMS 4 of 5 [view link]
  • Tetradon
    •
    2 years ago
    @Rusty, as someone who has "mental-dar" (the mental illness analog of gaydar), SJG sets my sensors off like Fourth of July fireworks. He's battier than any five of us. Keep up the good fight.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    My experience is the opposite. I've been offered a lot of extras and otc. In Vegas la Phoenix Albuquerque. The 2 people here affecting me on this are drewcary...the processional aspect and tetradon about the thrill aspect. You can learn from anyone I guess
  • 48-Cowboy
    •
    2 years ago
    Eat more beans and fart more
  • rickthelion
    •
    2 years ago
    Rusty-ape, since you have confessed to mental illness I shall do my best to help. Of course, my rick-approved advice - rickvice, if you will - will also help you with the “extras”. My rickvice: find you inner rick. How do you find your inner rick? First, you have to get yourself a stylin’ suit. Without my suit I’d just be a goofy lion. Well, given that lions are cooler than apes I’d still be cooler than most TUSCL posters but I digress… Anyhoo…you have to find some bouncers to grease and some managers to stroke. Or maybe it is the other way round. Who the fuck knows? Well…rick knows and you can take that shit to the damn bank! Soon as the manager points out a likely candidate and the bouncer is looking the other way due to all the greasing (or stroking, as the case may be) you make your move. Be sure to drink a nice gin rickey on your drive home with the stripper revealed by the stroked manager. If a cop stops you just look him in the eye and say “you got a problem, wildebeest? ROAR!!!” Works every time! ROAR!!!
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    2 years ago
    It's unwise to take mental or medical health advice from a guy who can't sort out an internet connection in Silicon Valley outside of public library hours. It's also unwise to take life advice from a guy who has aspired unsuccessfully for almost a decade to launch a rapey sex slave cult, but (thankfully) never will because he spends as much time as possible using a titty bar website as a platform for his desperate confirmation bias disguised as performance intellectualism. Sadly, on TUSCL, all of those guys are one creepy-as-fuck guy (who won't respond to this until tomorrow when the library opens...).
  • Tetradon
    •
    2 years ago
    ^ Don't forget who disparages work ethic. 8 years of not finding sex cult takers on a board full of Johns and horndogs does not speak to skill.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    2 years ago
    It's almost certainly not you. I say "almost certainly" only because nobody here really knows you, and anyone describing themselves is to some degree an unreliable narrator. Regardless, it's very rare for a dancer to offer extras unprompted on the floor even in known extras clubs. Over 90% of the time, you have to bring it up. On occasion, a dancer might bring it up after several basic lap dances to get you into VIP. Even that isn't very common. It's on you to raise the topic.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    Cim people can shooter who to take seriously or not without you harassing anyone
  • Rod8432
    •
    2 years ago
    Agree w/most here. It's not you, it's the clubs. Just go to the right places, and it'll be you turning down the Extra offers. For example, you won't even get a chance to warm your chair at Diamond Dolls in Pompano before the sharks descend, offering $125 BJs and $225 FS. "Right Clubs" in the US? - Basically, Inkster MI (outside Detroit), South FL (Pompano), North FL (Tampa/Pasco County), Atlanta (few clubs), suburban NJ (eg., Burlington), Texas maybe...
  • Rod8432
    •
    2 years ago
    Whoops - Forgot LA COI Clubs... always a sure bet!
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    2 years ago
    Icee said "Cim people can shooter who to take seriously or not without you harassing anyone" Start with taking your own advice and then take an elementary spelling course. I also wouldn't take advice from someone who exists to stir shit for attention-seeking purposes.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    I've been offered in just about every club I've been to...
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    It could be you
  • rickdugan
    •
    2 years ago
    ===> "Honestly, I'm feeling quite a lot better about myself; thinking it isn't something *wrong* with me." Don't be so hasty. I'll chalk up all of the fluffy responses you have received thus far to a thread genuinely full of unicorns. But if you have not received so much as an offer of a handjob (even if hinted or she just grabbed) in all of those visits to the the dance areas of all of those venues, then there's probably a reason. As DE said, sometimes you have to speak up.
  • drewcareypnw
    •
    2 years ago
    @icey: I think that was a compliment, thank you. But what is “the processional aspect” ?
  • drewcareypnw
    •
    2 years ago
    @OP: it’s a question of the club, tuscl reviews will help you find the right one. Also bear in mind that even at an “extras” club, not every girl is doing extras every time with every pl.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    Drew that was supposed to be professional. The thought of a sex act with someone who is a professional at it.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    Take These Broken Wings (full film) [view link] A very responsible writer: Robert Whitaker | Psychiatric Drugs & Mental Disorders | PI Podcast 5 [view link] Why Psychiatric Drugs Are Killing Your Brain And How To Get Out Of The Bind With Dr. Peter Breggin [view link] SJG
  • drewcareypnw
    •
    2 years ago
    @icey: "Drew that was supposed to be professional. The thought of a sex act with someone who is a professional at it." Ah, I see. So you're referring to the idea of SW's being professionals, us paying them for services rendered as one would with a mechanic, etc.? How is your thinking evolving on this?
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    ^^ Very good line of inquiry there Drew. SJG
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    Drew. It's a given that they're professionals. Do anything long enough you'll get good at it. But prostitution isn't like being a mechanic. There's a dark underbelly and the toll it takes on women and customers cant be ignored.
  • drewcareypnw
    •
    2 years ago
    @icey: You are right about this, to ignore the dark underbelly would be pretty disingenuous. Do you think the underbelly is intrinsically unavoidable with FSSW? Or do other factors, e.g. criminalization, cultural mores, play a role? Is it possible to find a path to P4P that minimizes the dark underbelly?
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    Drew. I think making prostitution a professions viewed as any other would take a cultural shift. Not just legal changes. It would require addressing the underlying social problems that lead to women choosing prostitution as a career. Undiagnosed mental illness is a huge thing that leads to women being desperate enough. Addictions. Human trafficking. The myth of the happy hooker is just that. Making it legal regulating it setting up red light districts where women have access to social workers health care...security to screen customers... would do a lot to normalize it. Also address why many men resort to p4p. Addictions mental illness etc also plays a role. Men who go on drug binges and seek prostitutes are pretty common. Relationship problems. Social retardation... There are a lot of factors.
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