Handling bad news

avatar for nicespice
nicespice
100% serious thread.

Used to have this regular who came in once a week pretty reliably. Eventually the reliability falls off once he’s paying 10k a month because his wife moves to a living facility. It drops off even further when he gets a cancer diagnosis, and have only occasionally seen him since. I’ve texted with him occasionally and reached out to wish a Happy Thanksgiving. I wasn’t trying to get him back in the club because it’s understandable.

He texts me this morning that a few days ago the doctor predicts he has another 4-9 months left to live and they aren’t going to be doing anything more treatment-wise anymore. I feel awkward and I don’t know how to act in this. Here’s the text exchange:

I am sorry to hear that. I’m mentally giving you a hug
Thank you. I hope I can see you at least one more time.
You have always been a joy to be around, and I won’t ever be able to forget you.
I’m sure we can work something out. Let me know whatever you want to do
I will thanks

…Should I be saying or doing anything in this situation?

And no, please don’t suggest extras services. One time he specifically told me about having a buddy who would brag about taking girls out of the club for extracurricular activities, and rolling his eyes because that wasn’t ever his thing and got annoyed when the friend tried to make it a competition thing for something he never wanted to participate in. That wouldn’t be helpful in this situation.

111 comments

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avatar for nicespice
nicespice
3 years ago
Maybe I should get a BBL and go to an ass shaking club so I don’t have to deal with older customers idk
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
3 years ago
You probably brought this guy a lot of fun and happiness. It was nice of you to reach out to him.
avatar for mike710
mike710
3 years ago
Based on what it seems how you feel about him, a friendly lunch together doesn't seem like something crazy if he doesn't feel up to going to your club. If he is so sick, you could always bring it to him. I'm sure you could work with him to figure out a "how we met" if he is in a situation where he might be questioned.

Another innocent option is meeting for coffee.

All of this depends on how bad his situation is and what you are both comfortable with. Who knows? He may want to go out with a bang and hit your club one more time while he's still up for it.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
Best thing you can do is what you did, reach out and let him know if he needs a friend you are there, other than that just leave it alone and give him a supportive call or send him a supportive note, it's tough, and it's really hard to hear, but that's life sometimes.
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
@nicespice

You wrote and I quote:

“I’m sure we can work something out. Let me know whatever you want to do.”

In my humble opinion and limited experience, you are treating him like a reliable regular customer that became unreliable, but you had still hoped he would become reliable at again at some point in the future...however his imminent demise in a few months makes that most likely impossible to happen.

And again in my opinion this is causing YOU some kind of discomfort, remorse, I don’t know what exactly, hopefully you do know.

In my opinion if you really wanted to do something for him, you would have said, “when and were would you like me to meet you?” because he already told you that he wanted to see you, because YOU brought JOY to his life...

Being with family members and friends and saying goodbyes is important when death is imminent and this becomes a “good death” because helps to calm and soothe the soon to be departed so that they have a more peaceful journey to their death.

“To ive real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.”
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
3 years ago
At the risk of sounding callous, do nothing. It's a very sad situation but it's not your problem. Customers will burden you with endless sad stories if you let them, especially old lonely dayshift guys with their inevitable medical and other issues. You're not a relation of even a close friend - you're just someone he paid for company. After all, you weren't inviting him to your next birthday party or family shindig, were you?

I'm not unsympathetic to what he's going through, but if you start getting sucked into customers' sad situations, it will become a never-ending vortex. If I were you I'd block him and be done with it.

avatar for jackslash
jackslash
3 years ago
I think you're handling it very well. Dealing with someone who is dying is always going to be hard. I have a woman friend in her late seventies who was diagnosed with cancer this year, and she is not expected to live long. The only thing you can do is be kind.
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
3 years ago
Yeah tough. Is it possible at all he’s running some sort of pity game on you? Not trying to sound paranoid but guys can be weird
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
3 years ago
I actually had the same thought that Muddy did about a pity game. Yet one more reason not to get sucked into a customer's issues.
avatar for whodey
whodey
3 years ago
I think you're handling it right by just letting him know that you care enough to want to see him and then leaving it up to him to decide what he's up to doing.

If he is up to a last trip to the club just make sure you give him a great show that he can think back on and smile as he goes through his final months. Not saying it would be anything extra, just put your best effort into making each song great.

If he isn't up for a trip to the club then the suggestion of meeting for coffee would be a nice thing to do if it would be something he would want.

Otherwise if you find yourself thinking of him just send him a text saying you hope he is doing as well as possible along with a pic of your smiling face.
avatar for gSteph
gSteph
3 years ago
Here's my thoughts after being cleared to live longer (from a not yet old fellow)

Being nice is harder than being callous. But in the long run, it's the way to be. It's exercise at being a better person. If I were that fellow, I'd be touched to be offered one free one. Whether that's a cup of coffee, a lite lunch, or if he is up to going to the club, one free dance.

I would let him know though, that this is the one last time, so you don't get sucked in too far.

We ALL, if we're lucky, will grow old and possibly feable, the kindness of others means more than you may know.

This all presumes you feel strong enough emotionally. Best to you.

avatar for RandomMember
RandomMember
3 years ago
Unless you have a genuine connection with the guy, I would stay out of it. Hopefully he has siblings or genuine friends to help him out. Don't take any money from the guy.
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
3 years ago
I'm kinda of the same opinion as Rick. Maybe not quite nothing, I mean if the guy wants to hit up the club and see you again you could go out of your way to make it happen, even if it's not going to be a particularly profitable shift for you. That's about the level I'd take it. The text exchange is confusing though, I can't tell who wrote what. I get the first one was you, but after that I'm really not sure.

I have to qualify my opinion though, I really don't know your relationship with this dude. Simply seeing him every week doesn't tell me anything. If you guys actually had a connection of sorts, maybe it's appropriate to make more of an effort. It also depends largely on his desires. I'm guessing since he made a point to tell you, he wants something from you. Not suggesting it's carnal or anything, but he evidently wants to see you. If he wants to blow his last dollar in a strip club before he can't get out of bed, I wouldn't feel one ounce of guilt helping him.

I'll also say I think it's pretty normal for someone your age to feel awkward and unsure of how to respond. Generally, it's not a situation 20 somethings have a lot of experience with. As you get a little older, it'll happen more often and you'll feel a little less awkward and a lot more confident in how to respond. That's just life.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
I think you should keep it all business. But in a regular's sense.

Saying what you did over text was fine but I wouldn't offer anything any more than you would to a good regular that you have a good rapport with. I'd work out something with him to come in and meet with him. And sure, give him the best time you can give him within the same limits as any other regular.

Him telling you all that was too personal in my view. He's the one that went too far with information, not you. But for me I've always drawn clear personal business lines in a club and with strippers. I'm there for a physical experience first and second to be treated like I'm a stud on a superficial level. It's an indulgence in a fantasy, and I like the strippers that cater to that. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't want pity because I'm not going to bemoan my lot in life myself to strippers. That's what my friends and family are for. I think it's unfair to strippers, no different than I don't really want a stripper to bring up how she's hurting for money for some personal issue that has nothing to do with me.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
3 years ago
Honestly, I think you've already done more than he expected, and what you did was perfectly appropriate. Not really much you *can* do at this point, except keep showing the compassion you already have.
avatar for DenimChicken
DenimChicken
3 years ago
> Yeah tough. Is it possible at all he’s running some sort of pity game on you? Not trying to sound paranoid but guys can be weird

"so it turns out there is chance I live longer....it isn't common but...my doctor said that the excitement of sex with a woman under 30 could really kickstart my body. It has to be somebody I know though, so not some stranger/prostitute...."
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
I'm assuming that this is not some sort of con and it's completely true and sincere. Because there's no reason why it shouldn't be. For some guys, even if they don't "fall in love" and they have a realistic view of their relationship with a dancer, that dancer can still be someone they genuinely like and value (and not just for the time spend in a lapdance area).

If you engage any further (I have no opinion on that; you're the best judge as to whether or not it's a good idea), then possibly send a message like: "It sounds like you have a lot going on and a lot to think about. I don't want to make demands on you. Please let me know what will be fun for you and I'll try to accommodate that." That way, you're not trying to figure out this guy's current mindset. Put the ball in his court, which is where it should be. If he's only got months to live, then he gets to set the agenda for that time.

End-of-life stuff can be complex, but sometimes it isn't. I've seen some people be very matter of fact about their terminal illness. The situation might present itself as sad, the people around him might be sad, but he could totally fine with being in the home stretch.
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
I would look at it from all angles. It seems unfair and manipulative for him to Lay that on you. Unless he really has no one it seems off to just say all that in a random text.

But just be honest. If I were in your position I'd say...

"I don't know what to say. This is unexpected to say the least. How are you hanging there?"

If he offers money take it.
avatar for FishHawk
FishHawk
3 years ago
Being an older guy, I am becoming aware that all of us will face the end one day. Hopefully I have many years of clubbing left before I have to call it a day. I think the best thing to do is take a clue from him. Respond as you normally would. Unless he brings up his condition. He may or may not come to the club again but again I would treat that as normal as you can
avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw
3 years ago
The main thing is to do is whatever will bring the closure and peace of you need. In 4-9 months, only one of you is going to be wondering if they did it right or not. Now’s you’re chance.
avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw
3 years ago
Sorry, meant to write “peace of mind”
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
3 years ago
Seems that meeting at a neutral place like for a cuppa coffee would be a nice gesture.
avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman
3 years ago
^. I agree with the neutral place, cup of coffee thing, if you consider him a friend IRL rather than a customer. Having been knocked down a few times with health issue, I can tell you that a cup of coffee with a friend Is a really meaningful gesture. This all assumes you regard him as more than just a custie. And if he is playing you for sympathy (I doubt it), meeting for coffee is no big deal.

If I’m reading you incorrectly and he is just a regular custie but nothing more, then I think your kind expressions have been the right way to handle it. He needs his loved ones, not an entertainer acquaintance at this point.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
3 years ago
He was just letting you know that you meant something to him. You let him know you are there for him. Leave it be, but if he gets back to you, treat it the same as you did when things were good.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
OTC doesn't have to involve doing anything you don't do in the club. I don't think it's necessary to offer your time for free, I doubt he would accept that anyway.

I'm not super old, may have another 10 to 20 years. But if I go tomorrow, I wouldn't feel cheated, I've had many blessings in my life. Among the biggest blessings have been the chance to spend time with nice, beautiful, charming, interesting dancers like you. You have already done more than you know.

I suggest you watch this and, based on knowing him, decide if you should send him the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuDiPv-a… .
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
And BTW, whenever I've walked into a booty-shake club, me reaction has not been "wow, these people must have a super high life expectancy!"
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
3 years ago
Thanks all for the comments.

It’s not a pity hustle. Last time I saw him in person, he was definitely looking weaker than he previously had been. And he didn’t even order any beer for himself. Honestly, even if the news was sad I wasn’t surprised. Previously, he always got a specific beer brand and was annoyed when the club didn’t have that in stock for a month and grudgingly drank a different brand at that time. So only ordering water was really uncharacteristic at that point. Also he’s either 84 or 85 years old right now (fuzzy on the exact age) so it is what it is.

I appreciate the general validation that I messaged the right thing. I just didn’t know how friendly or distant is appropriate for that type of text.

I wouldn’t be opposed to meeting for coffee or anything, but I don’t think I will initiate that type of thing. Judging from previous conversations, he already has children and other loved ones who would be better for that type of thing. I’ll send out a Merry Christmas text when it’s closer to that time though.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
3 years ago
w.r.t. the posting of the text, yeah it was a little hard to follow who was saying what although one could more or less guess who was saying what based on context; but it would have been easier to post the text as:

Me: “ … ”
Him: “ … “

I didn’t get the sense either that he was angling to get something out-of/from you – if he was a regular and you’ve texted in the past, I assume his current text was a way of saying goodbye or as a way to let you know his condition so at least you would know what happened if you were unable to make contact w/ him in the future.

As others have posted, I don’t think you can do anything more than maybe be available to see him (in the club or for coffee/lunch) if he so wishes although when one is in poor-health often times doing stuff is not really enjoyable or doable.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
3 years ago
Okay, if it was difficult to read, here is the exchange, re-copied

Him:
On December 7th I went to a doctor appointment expecting to re start the treatments. They had been telling me for a while how much better my liver was. Instead of a treatment I was told they couldn't do any more for me. They said I probably have somewhere between 4 and 9 months. I sure have a lot to do in that short time. I'm sorry to bring you the bad news.
Me:
I am sorry to hear that. I’m mentally giving you a hug
Him:
Thank you. I hope I can see you at least one more time.
Me:
You have always been a joy to be around, and I won’t ever be able to forget you.
I’m sure we can work something out. Let me know whatever you want to do
Him:
I will thanks
avatar for Dave_Rave
Dave_Rave
3 years ago
Is he rich? If he is I would meet him OTC and try to get him to leave you some money. Tell him sob stories, blow him, fuck him, call him a couple of days later and tell him he got you prego, whatever you have to do. He's vulnerable and doesn't give shit anymore. If he doesn't have money I'd delete him from my contacts and move on. Isn't that stripper rule #1?
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
NiceSpice - I think your text was good. He’s dealing with a lot, and you let him know that you’ve enjoyed seeing him (ITC). You also let him know you are open to seeing him again. Possibly, the nicest thing is that you let him know he won’t be forgotten.

Even if things don’t work out for you to get together, I believe your text brought him joy, has given him something to look forward to, and let him know he’s not forgotten. Those things mean so much.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
Don't be Dave_Rave.
avatar for EndlessSummer
EndlessSummer
3 years ago
I think you handled yourself beautifully in this situation. Because we're meant to be only a fantasy, I think it can be a tough thing to know our place sometimes when such an obvious reminder of the real world creeps in.
As for communication with him, I'd say do whatever feels right. If you think he'd prefer to be the one reaching out, then let him. But, if you think he'd appreciate hearing he's in your thoughts now and then, do that. Yes, we're strippers and our job is what it is... but that doesn't mean we can't also just be kind humans. 😊

I'm a little surprised at some of the callous responses to this post... this poor guy dealt with his wife's failing health and now faces his own imminent mortality but was a loyal, weekly customer prior to the unfortunate turn his life has taken at the end.
I would say take the positive comments here (of which there are some great ones) to heart and leave the rest.

avatar for EndlessSummer
EndlessSummer
3 years ago
@ilb That video was fantastic- thank you so much for sharing!
avatar for yankeez4lif
yankeez4lif
3 years ago
You have handled a delicate situation about as well as a delicate situation could be handled. I think your plan of reaching out every so often is a good idea. The fact that you're open to a final meeting probably works better than any chemo or radiation treatment he has received.
avatar for kilgoretrout12
kilgoretrout12
3 years ago
To echo ES and Y4L, the fact that you care enough to think kindly about this man (and do something about it) speaks volumes about you. Whatever you decide going forward, it it is important that you know that you made a caring reasoned decision and you should feel good about it and yourself going forward. Make sure you don't guilt yourself.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
3 years ago
===> "I'm a little surprised at some of the callous responses to this post... this poor guy dealt with his wife's failing health and now faces his own imminent mortality but was a loyal, weekly customer prior to the unfortunate turn his life has taken at the end."

First protect thyself. He got what he was paying for - she has no obligation to let his problems become hers. It's the circle of life. The old die and the young move on. Indeed his decision to burden her with this to begin with makes me wonder what his motives are.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
3 years ago
@EndlessSummer: "I'm a little surprised at some of the callous responses to this post"

I'm not.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
>I'm not unsympathetic to what he's going through,<

If only that were true, I guess there's a first time for every thing !
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
@rd I'm sure all the free advice you're generously giving nicespice comes from a place of love. Why can't she give a little love too?

Everyone, before you're too hard on Rick, you should know he was that kid who had to shoot Old Yeller.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
3 years ago
I see the troll brigade has arrived. 😉

Hey, advice costs me no more than a handful of seconds typing. Getting caught up in some old man death saga is an entirely other matter. But at the end of the day she'll do what she wants anyway.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
rickdugan configured his keyboard so that when he hits F7 it automatically types "troll". F6 types "girly".
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Sorry nicespice this thread is the worst place for the rick-ilbb bullshit.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
3 years ago
^ It’s okay, you’re my alias account anyways. Carry on
avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95
3 years ago
Poor guy. And his poor wife. I hope they have an honest POA who can make sure that she continues to live in a decent ALF.

As for you, nicespice, I would continue to just message him through the holidays and intermittently after that. I hope he can find some joy this year, despite the sequence of bad news. I wouldn't push him to come to the club, though.
avatar for EndlessSummer
EndlessSummer
3 years ago
@rick- I don't believe compassion and protecting oneself have to be mutually exclusive.
Everyone is entitled to their opinions, of course, but I'm infinitely glad that all my years in the industry haven't hardened me so much that I'd share yours on this one. 😊
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
@Endless and @rickdugan FWIW I was a loyal regular to my ATF DS for at least three years straight. I saw her at least weekly, more on average. I was clearly her #1 regular. We talked and shared stories and had mostly good times together.

And throughout that time I had hard times, clearly not as bad as having only a few months to live, but still I went through things that I'd rather not have had to. And throughout that time I made no mention of any of it to her. Even if I did have only months to live or my wife passed away, I highly doubt that I would have offered that info to her. If it came up in conversation, maybe.

Point being, everyone handles there personal business differently, and everyone expects different things from their time in a strip club. It doesn't have to be viewed as "callous" either. It just means some, stripper or PL, would rather not bring personal issues into the club.

Furthermore, where does one draw the line with empathy? Should nicespice give the guy a 4 hour free VIP for his last club visit? Maybe a set of 3 dances for free? Or just 1? She's already drawn her own line at extras, but why not a private OTC but no extras?

My point to all this is that there's a grey area here. And a lot of variables. And every stripper-regular relationship is different.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
^^^ What a twat.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
3 years ago
@desertscrub: "i might suck, but you swallow!"

So you can't even suck right? Why am I totally un-surprised.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
The economic reality of it is that dancers need to have more regulars than we favs. It's largely inevitable our favs are more special to us than we are to them. So we are liable to have unrealistic expectations about when dancers should give complimentary dances.
avatar for RandomMember
RandomMember
3 years ago
@Scrubby wrote: "...stripper OP that loves liver and ONIONS at LUBY's and HAS ADMITTED TO LOGGING / POSTING with the fake accounts"

____________

...and if you notice, her 85-yr-old client happens to be dying of liver cancer. Is @Spice capable of fabricating a story like this to get attention? Who knows? And in the eternal manifolds of time and space, who cares.

I hope @Spice will be there when I'm nearing the end. Because I'll also want one finally tearful rendezvous with a thoughtful and empathetic stripper who poses as a shit-truck driver on a stripper site.
avatar for DoctorPhil.
DoctorPhil.
3 years ago
I think Skibum’s comment is spot on. You were nice and sympathetic. If he wants to to pursue some other interaction wirhyyou he can reach out.

One thing to think about is what you would do if he pushed for more. He sounds like a nice guy and you said he isn’t into “more”, but he is going though something major. I’m far from the end in terms of age and I mostly like strip clubs for a lark and to see some titties. I don’t want anything more and in that sense I guess I’m like this guy. But if my SO was away in a living facility and I had <6 months to live I might think “what the hell…I want some dick sucking and pussy”. Would you feel bad if he ultimately pressured you for more?
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
Dancers explain here, about when lap dancing first started at MBOT, that all the girls come to have regulars:

https://www.amazon.com/Bottom-Feeders-Fr…

Anyone with any interest in strip clubs has got to read this. It tells you how the ideas had been very different, pre-Deja Vu

These regulars, yes they are RILs and they are pathetic. But the girls do respect them. Usually they are forking over a lot of their pre-tax paycheck.

They don't want much mileage or OTC. If they started getting mileage or OTC, pretty soon they would have a sexual relationship. And this is what they really do not want.

So mostly they want to be listened to.

The girls like them because they make the job easier. They explain that when they look out at the crowd and they see these familiar faces, it relaxes them.

But they know that if they let a RIL become a boyfriend, then in the vast majority of cases that relationship will eventually crater. And then after that, he will never go back to being a RIL for her. They learn that RILs are more valuable than BFs.

And then life as it is, often the RIL arrangement will get broken by outside circumstances. It never was a primary relationship for either party.

There is much in videos about the licensed prostitution in Australia, and the women being asked to do "emotional work". Usually they do do it, but they want the same money that they get for sex work.

There was a guy who would always come to Viet Coffee and want a girl to sit with him and just listen. He was well known. So usually a girl would be appointed to do that, and she just listens. And this guy pays well, and that money does not get divided up with the other tips.

People have written about at the L.A. Hostess Dancing clubs, guys who want to sit across a table with a girl, like they are on a dinner date. So he has a regular girl for this. Other people laugh, but the guys pay well.

This is just how our world is.

One place where all of this will change is in the organization which I am working to build.

SJG
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
3 years ago
@ Randommember, have you ever met NiceSpice in real life? Perhaps you have been too busy with your opthamologist sugar daddy?
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
3 years ago
I am sorry to hear about this nicespice, this is a difficult situation to be in. Seems like you are doing the right thing though. Good luck on whatever you end up doing.
avatar for loper
loper
3 years ago
This is the kind of thread that makes tuscl interesting. I've discovered because of covid that peripheral relationships -- chatting with the guy at the deli or the attendant at the drycleaner or bartender at my favorite restaurant -- can be as necessary and important as so-called close relationships. I've valued the company of most of the strippers who have entertained me appreciate their friendliness and kindness. It's normal, Nicespice, to be concerned about his feelings -- it makes you human, and what you've done is just right.
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
He's saying he's paying 10k a month for his wife's care.

I think he's honest. But the way he's saying things and laying all that on nicespice it's obvious he wants her attention. Maybe he wants a last fling before he dies or is just making peace telling people what they mean to him
avatar for BBBC
BBBC
3 years ago
^ awww sweetie! I didn't realize I hit your head on the headboard that hard during our romp last week! I am so sorry 😒 you need to get better for our date tomorrow night! I mean, you already bought my plane ticket and everything! 😉
avatar for BBBC
BBBC
3 years ago
You keep mistaking nicespice and her yucky vaginas for a dude with a nice cock, and you misread her $10 k a month is actually what her regular is paying a living facility to take care of his wife. We got to get you better or you will end up in the behavioral health facility again ! We can't have that now, can we sweetie!
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
And you forgot she claims to read!
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
You guys that think she's fake are utter morons. Myself and several TUSCLers have met her in real life. Get a clue, dumbasses.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=5905…

https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=5991…

Hey dumbasses. These are two threads by doctorevil when he was one of the first TUSCLers to meet her at a club. These are the threads that prompted me to see her in real life. Not to mention she used to post her schedule in her profile.

Like I said, get a clue, dumbasses.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=2732

For the benefit of TUSCL, I took this picture of her. It was while I was giving her a massage before dances at the Sunset Strip in Portland. It was around Halloween so she wore a unicorn outfit. I remember that visit very well. 🥰🦄

Like I said, get a clue, dumbasses.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
Forgot to mention...that check next to her name...the one that gives her verified status...means she sent a picture of herself to founder to verify who she is.

But you dumbasses don't have such a check to verify who yourselves are. Yet you accuse her of being fake. 🤭

Like I said, get a clue, dumbasses.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
3 years ago
@SirLap: Well <em>obviously</em> any account that claims to have met her is just another nicespice sock puppet.

/s
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
She's a real FSB agent, sent by Putin to turn the men of America into sex-crazed pieces of clay https://www.youtube.com/c/NiceSpice . She got Hillary Clinton to give her her e-mail password by getting into her pantsuit.
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
I think SLD is 25. They're always on at the same time. Both are obsessive compulsive. Both feed off each other and repeat the same inane attacks.. And 25 just seems like a drunk lonely old man now.

And nicespice is behind much drama on here. She gets off on it. These idiots are easy for her to manipulate coz it's the only free contact they have with a girl.
avatar for gSteph
gSteph
3 years ago
Scrub, I am sorry if your mother was mean to you, I really am.

I, verified member, gentle Steph have met Nicespice also. She actually exists, a nice person in my opinion, definitely a girl.

I understand your having a mean persona is a defense mechanism to help ease the pain in your life. Maybe, just maybe, you could take a real look and see it's not working so good for you. And maybe, just maybe try a bit of kindness, not necessarily to others yet, but toward yourself. As a start.

Best to you, sir. There is the potential for good in all of us. Have a great day.
avatar for gSteph
gSteph
3 years ago
You too, icey 🙂
avatar for Musterd21
Musterd21
3 years ago
@nice

I hope I have someone in my life like you when my time is near!!!!!!!!
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
And to stay on topic.

Just keep communication open and stay within your comfort zone when it comes to how much you're willing to be there.

avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
dumbassscrub and IceyDodo live up to their names.

Like I said, get a clue, dumbasses.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
Icey needs to learn to ride the tiger.

https://www.amazon.com/Ride-Tiger-Surviv…

We have to develop a higher level of consciousness before The Singularity comes:
https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=7680…

SJG
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
"Well obviously any account that claims to have met her is just another nicespice sock puppet."

^^^ @georg don't just end with me then, if I remember correctly several TUSCLers have posted their own independent accounts of meeting her. Off the top of my head and besides doctorevil and myself, I believe others have been Nidan111, heaving, and gSteph. I think there are more but I remember posts by them on meeting her too.

But dumbassscrub and IceyDodo don't pay enough attention to this. It goes along with them being dumbasses. 🤷



avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
^^^^^^ SirLapDance, you are sounding like Claus von Stauffenberg

SJG

Taylor Swift
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXctLxNU…
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ @san_jose_creep you are sounding like a guy that only fantasizes about going to strip clubs. 🤷
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
^^^^^^ SirLap, you need that drug, all the benefits of Alcohol, Marijuana, and the Endorphin Rush from LDKing, combined into one pill. Better you don't try to put too much of a load on your limited brain.

SJG

Taylor Swift - Shake It Off
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h…
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ @san_jose_creep now you're sounding like an extremely butthurt guy that hasn't been to a strip club in years. 🤷
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
^^^ That drug SLD, you see everything through the prism of the drug.

SJG
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
SJG is never up in the club now, his game got so good that the Front Room Makeout Sessions became Parking Lot Makeout Sessions.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
I hear that in TJ one should not try sidewalk makeout sessions. These self appointed vigilante police will get you.

But I have been in situations in San Francisco where a sidewalk makeout session would have worked great!

SJG
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ @san_jose_creep you always post from hearsay perspective, never an actual account from you doing it in real life.

As stated, you sound like a guy that only fantasizes about going to strip clubs. 🤷
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
SirLap, we need to get you about a 2 month supply of that drug. That should be enough to do the job, even on a zombie.

SJG
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ @san_jose_creep you really need to experience life outside of your fantasy posts from the free internet at the San Jose public library.

6 days a week.

Year after year.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
SLD, my F2f life is private, and it is protected extremely well.

If would say that you sound ready for a drug overdose, were it not for the fact that you are a zombie already.

SJG
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ @san_jose_creep you really need to experience life outside of your fantasy posts from the free internet at the San Jose public library.

6 days a week.

Year after year.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
So much for the "100% serious thread."...
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
SLD, you need something else to think about. Even though you are already a zombie, you are still being reckless.

SJG
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ @san_jose_creep you really need to experience life outside of your fantasy posts from the free internet at the San Jose public library.

6 days a week.

Year after year.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
Getting laid of from you nuclear power plant security job was not enough. Now you are flirting with them catching you masturbating in a toilet stall in the unemployment office, and with them having to call your wife out to come pick you up?

She would be pissed.

SJG
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ @san_jose_creep you really need to experience life outside of your fantasy posts from the free internet at the San Jose public library.

6 days a week.

Year after year.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
"I, verified member, gentle Steph have met Nicespice also. She actually exists, a nice person in my opinion, definitely a girl."

@gSteph I remember you two had tacos OTC or something like that. And I agree, she's as nice as she looks and the fist half of her name. Hopefully someday you'll be honored with seeing her at a local club. Then you'll experience the spice part of her. 😁
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ *first* half
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
Yeah whatever. Unverified dumbassscrub. 🤭🤡
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
Forgot to mention TUSCL's #1 most ignored and unverified dumbassscrub has so much credibility here. 🤭🤡
avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
3 years ago
^ The doorman at Club Desire also touched him in his no no place and made his little pee pee stand up, confusing him about his sexuality. Hence his grudge.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ OK #1 most ignored and unverified. 🤭🤡
avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
3 years ago
Because your tiny pee pee doesn't deserve the terms dick or cock.

Your "credibility" is the entertainment value of a low grade insult jock, hence why you're ignored more than board luminaries SJG and Icey.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
#1, #3, and #5 on the most ignored list, and all unverified, are all up in here making accusations left and right towards verified members. The irony is rich. 🤭🤡
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
scrub said "Many users of TUSCL regularly contact me..."

https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Lurkers_Sup…

It's actually not surprising how many TUSCL users run to online "arguments" that lost credibility over 20 years ago.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ @dumbassscrub do you recommend Club Desire for the doorman's hand jobs?

LMFAO no homo.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
"the doorman jerked me off to completion"

^^^ @dumbassscrub is this your story about "handling" bad news?

Great post!

LMFAO no homo.
avatar for Uprightcitizen
Uprightcitizen
3 years ago
Stop being assholes
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
Unverified dumbassscrub, TUSCL's #1 most ignored, the only member with > 100 ignores has successfully outed himself. 🤭🤡
avatar for WiseToo
WiseToo
3 years ago
"I wouldn’t be opposed to meeting for coffee or anything, but I don’t think I will initiate that type of thing. Judging from previous conversations, he already has children and other loved ones who would be better for that type of thing. I’ll send out a Merry Christmas text when it’s closer to that time though."

Do his children, other loved ones or his wife know that you even exist? I doubt it. An old man on his death bed exchanging texts with an attractive stripper, who may be young enough to be his granddaughter, is a lawsuit waiting to happen should he by chance change is will and leave you some money. Of course the meeting for coffee, if it should take place, was his idea and that decision (like the decision to leave you some money) was not at all influenced by you. You'll have a lot of explaining to do before the judge when the will is contested.

He was a customer; nothing more. No more texts.



avatar for nicespice
nicespice
3 years ago
1. I really doubt there is anything being left to me. Idk where that notion even came up.
2. Even on the off-chance there was some type of surprise inheritance intention…pretty sure that would involve putting down my full legal name somewhere.
3. How would I be contacted anyways? My VOIP phone number?

Anyways, I said the coffee thing as a response to a hypothetical question from somewhere earlier on this thread. I doubted that would seriously happen ever anyways.

I was being serious that a “merry Christmas” text would be just that. Just taking like 2 seconds to type a friendly message and that’s it. Wasn’t even going to try to ask to come to the club.

I’m all ears for hearing feedback on anything ethics wise, or anything similar to that. But I’m just not convinced there is anything legally anyone can come after me for. 🤔
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ So says unverified dumbassscrub, TUSCL's #1 most ignored, the only member with > 100 ignores. 🤭🤡
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
3 years ago
^^^ So says unverified dumbassscrub, TUSCL's #1 most ignored, the only member with > 100 ignores. 🤭🤡
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
So if my will says "it all goes to nicespice on TUSCL", she won't get it? If founder takes a 1% service fee, I would consider that fair.

When Anna Nicole Smith married her billionaire husband, I think he was already bedridden. As I remember, the only "sex" they had was her getting topless and waiving her boobs back and forth for him.

My ATF accepted an invitation from one of her regulars to a family dinner with his adult children. She said they were very friendly to her. His $ ran out, so she let him give her rides to the club, so he could at least spend some time with her. She kept badgering me that she wanted to give me something for X-mas, so finally I said I would like to met her daughter. I was pretty surprised that she left me to watch her while she went out to the store. We played catch with her balloon ball, and then she spent twenty minutes or so whacking my ATF's practice stripper pole with a spatula (fun times).

@ns I think dancers like you are highly ethical. You stay positive, even though so many customers, dancers and club staff want to make stripping into something toxic and ugly. Memories of times with you will be a comfort to your regular as he faces death. I've had several close family members die after long illnesses, so I know what I'm talking about. People die like they lived, well or otherwise. You helped him to live well. I think you should just text him once or twice a month, ask how he's doing. I doubt very much he'd want you to do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
3 years ago
@nicespice, I agree that you don't seem to be in any murky territory with regard to ethics on this one.

I have been fortunate to have met a fair number of dancers with a high level of compassion. And not just towards those who spend a lot of money.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
Like I said earlier you do what is comfortable for you, I think you handled it just fine, ain’t nothing illegal about being a decent human being, don’t pay any attention to the negative stuff
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