Learn me how not to be a shithead in the future
ilbbaicnl
Keep it in my pants when I do OTC. If I were a stripper it would stand for I like big bucks and I can not lie.
On Saturday night I spent 45 minutes to an hour on the couch with a dancer, and threw in about a 35% tip. We left the couch at about 11pm. She came back with me and sat down. So of course, I'm thinking, we're well into wanna dance time, she's fucking her money cause she's felling obliged. Or she's thinking maybe we'll go back for a second round, which I'm not planning on. So I said "oh that's OK you don't need to sit with me". She said OK I suppose you want to get some dances with other dancers. We said our goodbyes and she moseyed.
She was charming af and I would have liked to have hung with her all night, if that wasn't going to fuck her money. But the club was open till 4, so maybe she just wanted a quick drink before going back on the hunt. She was a veteran dancer, so I don't think she got butthurt, and probably had already been told a bazillion times how charming she was. I did see her in the couch room pretty soon after, with another guy who looked ready to give her his bank password. I think I did right in letting her know she'd already more than earned what I gave her. I just wish I could have found a way to express what I was thinking better, I doubt I'd live long enough to get tired of your company, but I don't want to cost you the money you could be getting from the next PL.
She was charming af and I would have liked to have hung with her all night, if that wasn't going to fuck her money. But the club was open till 4, so maybe she just wanted a quick drink before going back on the hunt. She was a veteran dancer, so I don't think she got butthurt, and probably had already been told a bazillion times how charming she was. I did see her in the couch room pretty soon after, with another guy who looked ready to give her his bank password. I think I did right in letting her know she'd already more than earned what I gave her. I just wish I could have found a way to express what I was thinking better, I doubt I'd live long enough to get tired of your company, but I don't want to cost you the money you could be getting from the next PL.
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
12 comments
This will help you to express yourself more clearly in the future....😉😁
Dancers are quick to assume "Well, he's done with me and wants a different dancer now." Meanwhile, customers are equally quick to assume (particularly after getting dances) "Well, she's done with me and needs to work the room." And, more often than not, those assumptions are valid, but not always. And it's hard to pick out those exceptions. What has worked for me in the past is being really honest about the dynamics of where we are and what we're doing there.
In a similar situation a while back, I had just finished a VIP with a dancer and she asked "Are you leaving right away?" I responded that I wasn't and I was going to sit at the bar for a bit. I said to her, "I'd love to buy you a drink, but I know this is your job. So, sit with me for however long you want. I won't be annoyed whenever you decide you need to go back to work." I also let her know that I wasn't going to buy more dances. Anyway, we actually chatted for a good long while and it was fun. At some point, she said she needed to circulate, and that was fine by me.
I think that a lot of customers don't like to acknowledge that dancers are working, even though that's obvious. It dents the fantasy aspect of strip clubs where we want to believe that a nearly naked hot woman is immediately interested in having sexy fun with us. And that makes it a challenge for dancers to be more honest with us about their priorities. They have to tread a little more carefully with a guy whose self-esteem is wrapped up in that fantasy.
Anyway, that's what has worked for me in the past, but everyone has their own way.
You were a shithead alright, but not because of any communication faux pas. Maybe she wanted to take a break after a half hour dancing on you. Maybe she wanted a drink. Heck, maybe she wanted to give you her number for potential OTC action.
You'll never know because you presumed to know better than her how she should be spending her own time. Perhaps the next time you're enjoying a girl's company, you should let her decide how she should manage her own schedule.
I’m upfront with dancers as well. I respect the need to work the room - and sell dances. I will let a dancer know when I’m no longer buying dances, as I don’t want to string her along.
Wrong, this is an assumption that may be way off. It’s 11pm, the girl already made $200 over her goal for the night, she actually enjoys talking to you and just wants to chat and have a drink. She’s been working since 7pm without a break and needs one, and wants to spend it with you (lucky you!).
You're correct in that it's a bit of a dick move to try and lead the girl on with the promise of more dances, and you don't want to do that and then not come through. But, you've got to recognize it's her job to see that coming and avoid it. Going out of your way to point it out can come off exactly how it did, like you're trying to get rid of her.
Not interested right now.
I want to grab a drink first.
I’m waiting for someone.
It’s all bullshit but accepted by customers and dancers as stripclub-ese language as a polite way to say ‘go away.’ If she wants to sit with you and you tell her go away, no matter how nicely you think you’re doing it, you’re still telling her to go away.
If a dancer wants to sit with me and I enjoy her company then I don’t overthink it.
Mr. Illibby or whatever your face is you should have let her sit with you unless you wanted her gone fore some reason. She’s a grownup who can decide when she wants to leave.
You’re welcome.
When you share something you believe to be helpful you should end your post with “You’re welcome” (or “your welcome” if you’re trying to blend in with the hoi polloi - you know, the mouth breathers of the world )
I do so whenever I share a helpful Phil phact(tm).
You’re welcome.