Learn me how not to be a shithead in the future

You’re past any help. Your best bet is to find the next civilian girl to be your SO or wife, so you stay out of the club and when you do club you’ll know better because you’ll have someone to go home to. Good luck in your search, and don’t overthink it.

Youre either a simp or a troll.

First off, brush up on your English. Learning is what you do. Teaching is what you're asking us to do.

This will help you to express yourself more clearly in the future....😉😁

One thing that dancers and customers have in common is a certain degree of cynicism about each other, and to some degree it's earned honestly.

Dancers are quick to assume "Well, he's done with me and wants a different dancer now." Meanwhile, customers are equally quick to assume (particularly after getting dances) "Well, she's done with me and needs to work the room." And, more often than not, those assumptions are valid, but not always. And it's hard to pick out those exceptions. What has worked for me in the past is being really honest about the dynamics of where we are and what we're doing there.

In a similar situation a while back, I had just finished a VIP with a dancer and she asked "Are you leaving right away?" I responded that I wasn't and I was going to sit at the bar for a bit. I said to her, "I'd love to buy you a drink, but I know this is your job. So, sit with me for however long you want. I won't be annoyed whenever you decide you need to go back to work." I also let her know that I wasn't going to buy more dances. Anyway, we actually chatted for a good long while and it was fun. At some point, she said she needed to circulate, and that was fine by me.

I think that a lot of customers don't like to acknowledge that dancers are working, even though that's obvious. It dents the fantasy aspect of strip clubs where we want to believe that a nearly naked hot woman is immediately interested in having sexy fun with us. And that makes it a challenge for dancers to be more honest with us about their priorities. They have to tread a little more carefully with a guy whose self-esteem is wrapped up in that fantasy.

Anyway, that's what has worked for me in the past, but everyone has their own way.

===> "I think I did right in letting her know she'd already more than earned what I gave her. I just wish I could have found a way to express what I was thinking better, I doubt I'd live long enough to get tired of your company, but I don't want to cost you the money you could be getting from the next PL."

You were a shithead alright, but not because of any communication faux pas. Maybe she wanted to take a break after a half hour dancing on you. Maybe she wanted a drink. Heck, maybe she wanted to give you her number for potential OTC action.

You'll never know because you presumed to know better than her how she should be spending her own time. Perhaps the next time you're enjoying a girl's company, you should let her decide how she should manage her own schedule.

I think Ishmael makes some excellent points - and he offered a great answer that should not cause a dancer to be confused regarding his intentions.

I’m upfront with dancers as well. I respect the need to work the room - and sell dances. I will let a dancer know when I’m no longer buying dances, as I don’t want to string her along.

I’ve had similar feelings with the OP before. Girl is broke out there hustling, the club is crowded and it’s going to die out in about an hour, let the girl roam so she can make some rent money.

Wrong, this is an assumption that may be way off. It’s 11pm, the girl already made $200 over her goal for the night, she actually enjoys talking to you and just wants to chat and have a drink. She’s been working since 7pm without a break and needs one, and wants to spend it with you (lucky you!).

I would guess her goal for a Saturday would be at least $1000. She seemed to have her shit together. The type that knows you have to shoot for an above average night. To make up for the nights that will be bad, no matter how hard you hunt.

You just gotta balance it a little better. Both Rick & CMI make some good points. It's not your job or obligation to manage her time effectively. If you're enjoying her company, be hospitable. If you're concerned that you're misleading her try to be more clear. "Honey, I'm just planning to have a few drinks and relax for the rest of my visit. You're welcome to join me for a drink, but I'll understand if you need to mingle."

You're correct in that it's a bit of a dick move to try and lead the girl on with the promise of more dances, and you don't want to do that and then not come through. But, you've got to recognize it's her job to see that coming and avoid it. Going out of your way to point it out can come off exactly how it did, like you're trying to get rid of her.

I’ve made the same mistake and assumed a girl would rather make more money than hang out with me. If you must tell her you don’t want to be an anchor you need to be really clear. They’ve asked to sit or if a customer wants a dance dozens of times a night and thousands of times in their career. Most everyone speaks in code and doesn’t mean what they say.

Not interested right now. I want to grab a drink first. I’m waiting for someone.

It’s all bullshit but accepted by customers and dancers as stripclub-ese language as a polite way to say ‘go away.’ If she wants to sit with you and you tell her go away, no matter how nicely you think you’re doing it, you’re still telling her to go away.

If a dancer wants to sit with me and I enjoy her company then I don’t overthink it.

It pains me to acknowledge those rare occasions when Mr. Dugan is correct, but he’s correct here

Mr. Illibby or whatever your face is you should have let her sit with you unless you wanted her gone fore some reason. She’s a grownup who can decide when she wants to leave.

You’re welcome.

Also, for those paying attention to Mr. ATAC I have a special Phil hint(tm)

When you share something you believe to be helpful you should end your post with “You’re welcome” (or “your welcome” if you’re trying to blend in with the hoi polloi - you know, the mouth breathers of the world )

I do so whenever I share a helpful Phil phact(tm).

You’re welcome.