Who’s Significant Other approves of their Antics

I was doing this, Strip Clubs, and AMPs.

That fact was what made me a Pathetic Loser.

Now, I am divorced and I can do what I want. So my relations with P4P women can go as far as I want them to, and that is awesome.

SJG

Do you regret losing your marriage because you cheated on your wife?
How emotionally satisfied are you now?

My wife doesn't have issue with me going to a strip club if I am on a business trip or if I have the occasional guys night out. She doesn't wanna know what goes on and expects/trusts me not to cheat on her.

I went through a 5 yr phase where I went a lot more behind her back. It's definitely not how I want to live, as the guilt adds up. So for the last year I'm back to our agreement of the occasional trip. And I'm much better off personally. I don't see myself going to clubs like those 5 years. I'm into other hobbies now anyway.

I never got extras and I always held up the rule of no direct contact with pussy or dick by either party. Nothing more than high mileage dances basically. Although she doesn't know the extent of my lapdances, I'm pretty sure extras would cross the line. High mileage would make her upset but likely not a deal breaker for us. Since she never directly asked what I do in clubs, I never had to tell her any half truth.

Chester, my partaking with other women in AMPs and Strip Clubs had nothing to do with the course of my marriage.

I recognized right away that the greatest danger is if an outside woman feels that she is being taken advantage of.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097123/

I was always very restrictive in going beyond limited ITC adventures.

And then there was a decade long stint when I dropped all such things and lived by the rule of strict monogamy.

Why the marriage did not work then, well the wife was just not willing to allow a partnership, people working together on a shared and agreed upon vision. That way they share in the successes and the failures. She would have none of this. She just wanted to be able to stand back and crack the whip.

I needed to terminate the marriage much earlier than I did.

Rebuilding has meant working very hard to reinvent myself. This is proceeding, but it is the work of a life time.

At least now I do not have to hide or conceal which women I am seeing.

Overall I do not think married guys should have anything to do with the sex industry.

SJG

San Francisco - Scott McKenzie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I0vkKy5…

I'm single at the moment, but in a relationship, my motto is "no secrets." Set the rules in advance and stick to them.

In past discussions, they've trusted me not to seek extras, the same way I've trusted them not to suck random dicks. One insisted on fucking me multiple times the night before any SC trips. I didn't complain.

I'm an open book. My sugar baby girlfriend goes to the clubs with me. She knows everything. Oh, you mean my wife ? Well, she knows nothing.

What was the definition of a PL 6 ? You have alibis for your alibis . I think he put that part in there for me.

Don’t ask don’t tell. Wife has no problem with me going to an occasional strip club with friends / business colleagues. She just thinks it’s naked women, tame lapdances and guys stuffing dollar bills in g-strings.

She would not be happy knowing I go by myself. Something happened recently and I’m rather shocked she took it as well as she did. Someday I may post about it, but who wants to post themselves in a negative light.

Like other people have already said my strip club trips were going way down even before COVID and that put it to a grinding halt, I still haven’t been clubbing in 2021 because I haven’t either been anywhere worth clubbing at this year or I haven’t been alone. I’m hoping this fall I will be able to get out more and club a few times. At the moment I don’t miss it because I have a new adventure going on.

Mrs C knows I go, and has known for 20+ years. She thinks that SC’s are just naked women, and lap dances are something innocuous, but I think she blurs that out, she’s a good ignorer of things she doesn’t want to deal with. She would be pissed if confronted with the details of extras, and I never admit to anything, not even the $’s spent. It’s a bit easier since we were poly and swingers for many years, we’ve seen one another in situations that most couples would not handle well. That said, we swore off of poly etc several years back, so we’re not so free wheeling about extramarital sex now. Actually not at ALL free wheeling, so admitting to HJs in the club would get me in trouble, but maybe not as much as some of you.

I spent about 10 years living 1/2 time overseas, and developed essentially parallel lives in the two countries, and women who were unaware of one another were part of the story. This (and a spy novel habit) taught me to keep my sins to myself. And I mean that in the sense that confession is a fundamentally selfish act: the confessant feels unburdened, the confessor feels dirty or angry or at best nothing. The former is always the beneficiary of the confession. So I own my sins, keep them to myself, justify them in my own little ways, and don’t ruin her day by confessing to them. In a way, the duality is liberating… I get to be a different person in the club, free from scrutiny. But it’s also convenient because I get to do dirty things with women way out of my league while keeping my day job as a happily married man.

^ Wise Comments from Mr C above. Totally agree with that 2nd paragraph.

At 3 pm yesterday my wife said I'm cold and I think I am keeping the dancers away from you. She then sat in cheetahs parking lot and read abook while I had fun. Shhhh.

Why would you tell your SO anything? To allay your own guilt? Don't do it. Not the guilt. Nor the telling.

Approves? HA, no, but she tolerates / understands my predilection toward clubbing, and getting a few lap dances.

I lied once about this once (busted by perfume in my nose), and felt terrible till I came clean. We talked / negotiated about it, and now I have spending and frequency limits that we both are ok with. She knows I don't do extras, but that I do like to fondle.

I am not married, but I have a buddy who comes into town on business and I have to go with him to Hooters to eat and then a strip club. His wife who I know very well invariably calls or texts me to tell me to make sure we cover our beers at the "titty bars" so nothing falls into them!

One time she called me the next day after he had left to travel home. She was shocked that hubby took $400 out of an ATM. "Just how many of them do y'all fuck when you go to those places?"

The irony is Hubby is a real strip club lightweight. He is too shy to even get a dance, but loves to tip at the stage. Plus it is a place he can smoke his pipe. So his wife assumes he is cheating on her and just accepts it, but he really isn't.

For all I know she's fucking the gardener as soon as he leaves.

My wife knows everything about my trips to the clubs. I have no secrets from her.

Interesting to read a wide spectrum of answers here.

I'll add that I've been busted by my wife around half a dozen times for going to a club and also have lied my way to an acceptable alibi at least as many too. If my wife hasn't divorced me over it by now she's not going to unless I do extras and beyond or I spend too much on it. Also I think I'm lucky in that she has a father that was a bit of a PL himself and a childhood BFF that was a stripper.

My ex significant other didn’t approve of my antics, and it led to our divorce.

I made a huge set of mistakes, and I regret the pain I caused. I was an idiot, and I hurt a very good woman.

It was my stupidity. I ruined a good thing.

@Cashman kudos to you for owning and admitting that.