Leading a Dual Life
DougS
Florida
Do you ever feel like you are leading two (or more) separate lives because of your clubbing?
Maybe it's my mind's subconscious effort to rationalize what I do. Maybe it's because my clubbing (and OTCing) takes place many miles from home, usually 2-3 hrs away.
Whatever it is, my REAL life usually is the furthest thing from my mind when I am clubbing/OTCing - probably my way of dealing with the guilt? I jokingly say things like "Hi honey, I'm home!" when I embrace my ATF at our meeting spot. Or "We're home!" when we walk into my hotel room.
I also take on a different attitude and/or persona when I'm living my alternate life. When in the club, I'm much more aggressive with the girls, though that could probably be explained by the confidence level I feel because I know that they are always "desiring" me, whether an act or not. When I'm with my ATF, I'm a much happier person... nearly giddy at times. I'm more outgoing when I'm with her. For instance the last time we went out to lunch, I found myself joking with the waiter. In fact SHE also seemed more outgoing, and we ended up having the waiter bring us food "just to sample" and when we didn't like it the manager even strolled by and chatted with us for a while, finally discounting our bill and giving us coupons for future dining. (heyyy... now that I think of it, maybe it's because my ATF looked smokin' and the waiter and manager were really flirting with her... or maybe they'd seen her at the club... or maybe they thought she was escorting due to our noticeable age difference...)
Or, maybe I'm just mentally unstable... schizophrenic?
Maybe it's my mind's subconscious effort to rationalize what I do. Maybe it's because my clubbing (and OTCing) takes place many miles from home, usually 2-3 hrs away.
Whatever it is, my REAL life usually is the furthest thing from my mind when I am clubbing/OTCing - probably my way of dealing with the guilt? I jokingly say things like "Hi honey, I'm home!" when I embrace my ATF at our meeting spot. Or "We're home!" when we walk into my hotel room.
I also take on a different attitude and/or persona when I'm living my alternate life. When in the club, I'm much more aggressive with the girls, though that could probably be explained by the confidence level I feel because I know that they are always "desiring" me, whether an act or not. When I'm with my ATF, I'm a much happier person... nearly giddy at times. I'm more outgoing when I'm with her. For instance the last time we went out to lunch, I found myself joking with the waiter. In fact SHE also seemed more outgoing, and we ended up having the waiter bring us food "just to sample" and when we didn't like it the manager even strolled by and chatted with us for a while, finally discounting our bill and giving us coupons for future dining. (heyyy... now that I think of it, maybe it's because my ATF looked smokin' and the waiter and manager were really flirting with her... or maybe they'd seen her at the club... or maybe they thought she was escorting due to our noticeable age difference...)
Or, maybe I'm just mentally unstable... schizophrenic?
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23 comments
folks a few times. I can't understand why they would find it unusual that a 50 year old fat guy with thinning gray hair would be having dinner with a hot young Asian woman...ah well, f' em if they can't take a joke...
I guess my alternative is to become a muli-millionare day trader and establish a playboy type mansion and have all the pretty girls want to come over to visit. I'm not there yet.
However, for me that definitely does NOT carry over to OTC dates. They're more like a real date than an extension of the fantasy of a strip club. Pleasurable, for sure, but all very real.
Yoda, I feel you. My ATF is a 25-year old hottie half my age, and do we get the looks when we go to dinner! We just laugh about it and depending on the venue, will hug, kiss and carry on just to see 'em react.
So yeah, I DO live a secret and kind-of-double life. Especially when it comes to mongering of the more high-service variety, I won't be chiming in about it at any dinner parties in the near future. Part of the fun, is escaping reality for a while.
Generally, I think all of us (gentlemen & ladies), lead dual lives, as clubbers. I can't ever recall thinking of "home or work" while clubbing, unless I'm limited on time and have to go to one of those two places.
I guess none of that was as big a surprise as when I had an unknown girl call me up while I was in High School, tell me she was a lesbian, but then say she wanted to try me out and go out with me. I didn't go out with her because she got upset by some little misunderstanding. Then the nightmares started. I was thinking what would I do if I was surrounded by a bunch of lesbian girls and they wanted to try being bi for a change.
I didn't think about that for too long.
I did keep quiet about going to the beach with another dancer and her female friend. Well I thought no one at work would believe me so when someone asked what did you do for the weekend, I told him I took a couple of strippers to the beach. Just as I expected, he didn't believe me. He just said yeah right.
In one post you state that "all those posts about having something more going on with their ATFs must be grounded in hard-nosed reality after all." Then a little later you write "OTCs are "more like a real date than an extension of the fantasy of a strip club. Pleasurable, for sure, but all very real."
You can't have it both ways. Either there is nothing but PLs being misled by dancers and their stripper shit, or there can be more to a relationship with an ATF than business transactions.
Smoking and exiting. Dastardly! Must keep it under wraps!
:P
I've been having it both ways for years. ITC, I'm a paying customer who enjoys the fantasy role strippers play for me. Quite often, it seems that there's "something more" between us, which I chalk up to having a good customer relationship. I don't feel a crying need to explain away that part of it, and I feel it's pointless to speculate on what relationship there would be if I eliminated the part I'm enjoying so much.
OTC, anything I do with a stripper has to be for real, never as a customer. It's the only way I'd want it, which girls always understand. I don't pay for their time, and I don't usually date strippers I've spent more than a token amount on ITC for dances, let alone anybody resembling an ATF. We relate in a markedly different way than ITC, as though a veil has been lifted the instant she punches out from work. That's what I mean when I say it's all very real.
The alternate reality presented to a strip club patron at times can be equated with that of the Alpha male tribal leaders 100's of thousands of years back - as they selected from the most recent crop of newly fertile females. So there is likely a primordial basis to that sort of high one sometimes feels, (particularly when having sufficient cash resources on hand), upon entering a strip club, one for example with few customers yet a large amount of attractive females walking around in skimpy outfits
The Alpha tribal leader over a period of weeks will of course be having sex with every female he desires, whereas in strip clubs its more about touching or other limited acts etc - however in any case its not an everyday occurence.
Instinctively, that's what I feel like. There's some kind of "blockage" in society at large, a type of "hysterical Puritanical bullshit" that gives women ulcers and men DSB and probably also prostate cancer, and in a strip club you can get a FEW of the necessary endorphins to combat that disease for just a little while. It's like doing without vitamin C on a long sea voyage, almost coming down with scurvy, then hitting shore and getting that first taste of scurvy-weed or citrus. Your body NEEDS it and sends signals, the whole time you aren't getting it, that you're somehow living in the wrong universe, according to the wrong assumptions. Everything's akilter, your vision and interpretations as much as your thoughts, actions, muscles, coordination, health; until you get the needed vitamin again.
Dancer A has a very very nice ass
Dancer B has an incredible ass
Patron, Dancer A, and Dancer B are all having a conversation where Patron and Dancer B are telling Dancer A, that both Patron and Dancer B a few days early (sitting at the bar) were talking about and admiring Dancer B's outfit and most importantly her nice ass, when she was about 7 or 8 ft from the bar near the dancer floor
Patron says to Dancer A "You know its really not about the ass per se"
Dancer A then says "I know, its about the personality too"
Patron "not exactly, that's not what I meant"
Patron then w/o asking permission paws Dancer B (who is standing next to him at the bar) and turns her around (so back her back is now facing Patron and Dancer A), he then presses on the top of her back to cause her to lean forward into the standing doggy position
Patron while pointing to her pussy area, now says
"THIS is what's its all about"
Dancer A "oh I see"
was
"Patron, Dancer A, and Dancer B are all having a conversation where Patron and Dancer B are telling Dancer A, that both Patron and Dancer B a few days early (sitting at the bar) were talking about and admiring Dancer B's outfit and most importantly her nice ass, when she was about 7 or 8 ft from the bar near the dance floor"
s/b
Patron, Dancer A, and Dancer B are all having a conversation where Patron and Dancer B are telling Dancer A, that both Patron and Dancer B a few days early (sitting at the bar) were talking about and admiring DANCER A's outfit and most importantly her nice ass, when she was about 7 or 8 ft from the bar near the dancer floor
David9999, I think you read too many Gor novels as a kid.